NationStates Jolt Archive

homosexuality is an abomination
June 2 2004 at 11:18 AM


Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality, who dispenses advice to people who call in to her Radio show. On her radio show recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was also posted on the Internet It's funny, as well as thought-provoking.

Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try
to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle for example,
I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 also states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think
would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The
problem is, my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbours who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask he police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I
wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is
expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I
wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a
lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws?(Lev.20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am
confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,
carpe diem, lash

Bloody brilliant. I love people who use religion as an excuse for their bigotry.

heh heh heh

Heh heh. Dr. Laura is a big seeping mass of hatred, it's great to see someone rattle her cage so well and remind people of how little she actually knows.

What's scary is how these religious clowns can get "Dr." tagged on their names to add a false sense of legitimacy to their drivel. Hell, Miss Cleo should've went with Dr. Cleo. ;)

Absolutely brillant...How can someone judge another when they do not know their experiences...How can anyone follow the bible and not be put in jail in this day and age...

Edit: I can't read.

This same letter came up a few years back and was as funny then as it is now. Thanks for reposting it so i don't have to type it up myself!

Er .... resident, Our Earth. No p.

Unless you're making a joke too, then never mind.

Yeah... I can't read... at all...

That's brilliant.

Superb. I'm saving that.

I'm especially fond of the bluntness of "How should they die?" in point 8.

I hope her tits rot and fall off and that worms will fall out of her stinking, rotting corpse when she falls over dead.

I hope her tits rot and fall off and that worms will fall out of her stinking, rotting corpse when she falls over dead.

She is alive? :eek: I thought she was undead! ;)

She is alive? :eek: I thought she was undead! ;)

Well, if she was the undead, it would be more concievable for her tits to fall of and for worms to crawl out of her body.

Not really debunked, but some interesting info on this letter is here:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp

...here comes another 50 page marathon of high emotion, Bible quotations and links to scientific studies...:rolleyes:

*stands back*

Round one - fight!














...psst...satire...;)

Brilliant.

Maybe I'll become religious if I can sell my sister into slavery.

In early October 2000, Dr. Schlessinger, ran a full-page ad in Variety offering an apology for what she called "poorly chosen" words about homosexuality. She had previously referred to gays as "biological errors" and "deviants," as exemplified by her remarks of 8 December 1998:

I'm sorry — hear it one more time, perfectly clearly: If you're gay or a lesbian, it's a biological error that inhibits you from relating normally to the opposite sex. The fact that you are intelligent, creative and valuable is all true. The error is in your inability to relate sexually intimately, in a loving way to a member of the opposite sex — it is a biological error.

Article (http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp)

This letter is apparently 4 years old, and ironically she already chose to withdraw her claim that same year.

WTF - Here's another psychopath using the Torah/Bible to justify her hatred; but she also must beware - God Hates Shrimp!! (www.godhatesshrimp.com) And it appears that I am wearing clothing made from two different types of thread!

Woo! o(^_-)O

Someone ought to kick her ass...

Anyone want to come to a party? the whole village is coming togethor to stone my next door neighbours

it could be called abnormal but normal is up for discussion anyway

ah leviticus........thou shalt not eat sand badgers.

Sand badgers? - what the hell are they?

answers please on a postcard.

Thanks for reposting that. I had read that letter a few years ago, but I couldn't find it back again.

homosexuality is an abomination
June 2 2004 at 11:18 AM


Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality, who dispenses advice to people who call in to her Radio show. On her radio show recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination, according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was also posted on the Internet It's funny, as well as thought-provoking.

Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try
to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle for example,
I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 also states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from
neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?
Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think
would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The
problem is, my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbours who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask he police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination
than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I
wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is
expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I
wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by
wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a
lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?
Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws?(Lev.20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am
confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,
carpe diem, lash
I'm Jewish (although not Orthodox), and hope no one thinks that all Jews are just like that idiot talk show host. The letter is really funny. :p :D :)

This is legendary!

*Claps Frantically*

Well done!

ah leviticus........thou shalt not eat sand badgers.

Sand badgers? - what the hell are they?

answers please on a postcard.

Thou shalt not eat 4 legged birds ... know many of those? Its in there too!

I’m no Dr. Laura, but I’ll give it a go at responding to you questions.


“1. Leviticus 25:44 also states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?”

It doesn’t matter if their Canadian or Mexican, Japanese, or Cuban. They just can’t be from your country. Your friend is obviously wrong on this issue. Oh, they can’t be from Puerto Rico either.

“2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?”

That all depends on her age, looks, and abilities. However I wouldn’t go any lower than $5000

“3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.“

If they take offence, they are in the period of uncleanliness.

“4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?”

No, you must first douse them in the blood and guts of your sacrificed animal. If they proceede to call the cops, you may then smite them. But do so in accordance with the lord and stone them.

“5. I have a neighbors who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask he police to do it?”

If they’re a non Christian or Jew, than you don’t have to bother. But if they are Christian or Jewish, proceed with the stoning.

“6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev.11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?”

There are no degrees of abominations

“7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?”

That’s not what it means to have a defect in your sight. To have a defect in your sight is to say or otherwise imply that you’re religious while at the same time not follow the laws of god.

“8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?”

With the usual stoning.

“9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?”

You would have to have your entire body covered with rubber. But then again most footballs aren’t made of pigskin anymore.

“10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them?”

It is imperative that you do so immediately.

“Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?(Lev.20:14)”

No. And I am astonished that this person has allowed such atrocities to go on as long as they have. Perhaps they should also be stoned for being a collaborator.

Homophobes don't hate all gays really. They only hate the ones they are attracted to.

Wow. Leviticus didn't like much did he. Perhaps we should just all sit in corners and not do anything...although perhaps corners are an abomination, or perhaps sitting is seen as unclean...if we don't do anything, could we perhaps anger God because we are not worshipping him, or something?

Oh, so many questions and a book of so many wrong, contradictory, or wonderfully misguided answers.

ummm

Leviticus wasn't a person.

I'm sure there must have been someone called Leviticus sometime in the past ;)

I was actually being sarcastic and personifying the book of Leviticus to add to the humour. It's kind of like the Eddie Izzard sketch about St. John's Letters to the Corinthians....not gonna mean a lot if you haven't seen it, but it was fu**ing funny :D

Thou shalt not eat 4 legged birds ... know many of those? Its in there too!

Ah, that one's a propesised warning saying not to eat genetically modified foods or animals exposed to excessive amounts of radiation.

The latter part is actually a useful piece of advice.

Glad people took an interest in this. By the way, comrades, I didn't write this, I found it floating around on the Endless Blockades record label forum. I live in Australia, so I don't know who Dr. Laura is even! But it's pretty damn funny.

-Chrisi.