NationStates Jolt Archive

So as I'm getting older and closer to my marriage, I get asked this a lot: "Hey, Slaggy! You're really ugly and stuff, but you've got a really cool fiancée who's quite attractive and totally into you? Why can't I get hooked up like that?"

Well, bachelors, pay attention, because the ladies (or dudes, if that's your thing) of NationStates are speaking their mind on this here poll! Take note of these results; by following the guidelines presented here, you, too, can get yourself a fine lady and/or dude and/or hermaphrodite!

Someone I can talk to.

Someone I can talk to.

I don't see that on the poll, though. Sorry, but I think you're asking for something no guy can supply.

Someone I can talk to.

oh you just put the poll up and it's funny... oops

I don't see that on the poll, though. Sorry, but I think you're asking for something no guy can supply.

except possibly me :D

lucky for me I'm a guy and looking for a GIRL I can talk to. Or Laser powered nunchuks, that's be good too :D

Voteearly once posted this nice list. And I say, here is what I am looking for:




Also you should make sure the woman can properly answer all the following.


1) Are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party?

2) Are you now or have you ever been involved in an interracial relationship?

3) Are you now or have you ever been involved in drug use, possession, or selling?

4) Are you now or have you ever been charged with a felony or other serious crime?

5) Are you now of have you ever been engaged in homosexual or bisexual activities?

6) Are you now or have you ever been convicted of a sexual offense?

7) Are you now or have you ever been convicted of a crime against a child?

8) Are you now or have you ever been an employee of the federal government?

9) Are you now or have you ever been a member of a non-Christian religion?

10) Are you now or have you ever been addicted to any drug such as alcohol or narcotics?

11) Is any of your ancestry non-european?


All questions must be answered with an enthusiastic "NO!"

Voteearly once posted this nice list. And I say, here is what I am looking for:

<ostentatious SNIP!>

All questions must be answered with an enthusiastic "NO!"

Yes, but none of these things are in the poll; therefore, they are clearly not important enough to be considered in a relationship.

Yes, but none of these things are in the poll; therefore, they are clearly not important enough to be considered in a relationship.


I somehow think the poll was a bit of a joke. :D

But I suppose a pet rock is nice... You can throw it at people, it's like siccing an attack dog. :D

definitely rare expensive mind bending cacti *wink wink*

I somehow think the poll was a bit of a joke. :D

Bullocks. I own everything on that poll. From my experience, the magnet-powered flying jet-boots won it. As Raul Julia (in the role of M. Bison in Street Fighter, the part he was born to play) put it, "YOU WERE EXPECTING TO FIND A MADMAN... AND INSTEAD YOU FOUND A GOD!?"

Indeed, Raul: only through magnet-boots can true divinity be realized.

Voteearly once posted this nice list. And I say, here is what I am looking for:
...
All questions must be answered with an enthusiastic "NO!"


Originally Posted by Voteearly


Also you should make sure the woman can properly answer all the following.


"1) Are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party?"
You're an American aren't you?

"2) Are you now or have you ever been involved in an interracial relationship?"
and a rascist.

"3) Are you now or have you ever been involved in drug use, possession, or selling?"
ok... well... maybe this one's ok... seems a little harsh though. of course I've never touched the stuff.

"4) Are you now or have you ever been charged with a felony or other serious crime?"
some crimes I wouldn't hold against people.

"5) Are you now of have you ever been engaged in homosexual or bisexual activities?"
But lesbians are more fun!

"6) Are you now or have you ever been convicted of a sexual offense?"
OK, this one's fine. the sickos have gotta be stopped.

"7) Are you now or have you ever been convicted of a crime against a child?"
*shudder* forget not dating them - they should DIE.

"8) Are you now or have you ever been an employee of the federal government?"
:D

"9) Are you now or have you ever been a member of a non-Christian religion?"
surely if you love your religeon this much you are oblogated to convert the heathen? and what's with the "have you ever been" - how slack is that?

"10) Are you now or have you ever been addicted to any drug such as alcohol or narcotics?"
this one's ok too. I still take issue with your continued use of "have you ever been" - people can change.

"11) Is any of your ancestry non-european?"
WTF? you rascist pig.


summary: you're an elitist snob. funny though so I won't hold it against you.

Originally Posted by Voteearly


Also you should make sure the woman can properly answer all the following.


"1) Are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party?"
You're an American aren't you?

"2) Are you now or have you ever been involved in an interracial relationship?"
and a rascist.

"3) Are you now or have you ever been involved in drug use, possession, or selling?"
ok... well... maybe this one's ok... seems a little harsh though. of course I've never touched the stuff.

"4) Are you now or have you ever been charged with a felony or other serious crime?"
some crimes I wouldn't hold against people.

"5) Are you now of have you ever been engaged in homosexual or bisexual activities?"
But lesbians are more fun!

"6) Are you now or have you ever been convicted of a sexual offense?"
OK, this one's fine. the sickos have gotta be stopped.

"7) Are you now or have you ever been convicted of a crime against a child?"
*shudder* forget not dating them - they should DIE.

"8) Are you now or have you ever been an employee of the federal government?"
:D

"9) Are you now or have you ever been a member of a non-Christian religion?"
surely if you love your religeon this much you are oblogated to convert the heathen? and what's with the "have you ever been" - how slack is that?

"10) Are you now or have you ever been addicted to any drug such as alcohol or narcotics?"
this one's ok too. I still take issue with your continued use of "have you ever been" - people can change.

"11) Is any of your ancestry non-european?"
WTF? you rascist pig.


summary: you're an elitist snob. funny though so I won't hold it against you.



It's my right to choose to only be with white women. Also my religion doesn't believe in converting any heathen, only white heathens. Christianity is the white's religion.


Lesbianism is a perversion as much as gayness is a perversion.

In answer to your comment on 11, it's my right and duty to God, the Aryan race, and the USA, that any and all children I produce be with a 100% white woman, so the children will be 100% white. I don't want inferior mongrelized children, I want pure caucasoids.

Ah, yes, another thing: the word "mongrelized" tends to be a turn-off for most women. In fact, most women prefer to idly shift the conversation away from the ethical repercussions of homosexuality and interracial relationships.

Wait... did I say most women? I meant me. Aye, me. I once again authorize the use of KICK: Keep It Civil, Kaiser.

Boobies!

And she can't have had sex with Communist Mississippi.

I want somebody I can philosifize with... and I don't want any of those slutty girls either... ick.

Gentlemen prefer blondes. Same with me :)

Gentlemen prefer blondes. Same with me :)
I prefer Brunettes, guess I'm a bad boy :rolleyes:

LAZERS. And SPACE.

Intrestingly enough, the list that Communist Mississippi put up is the same list of questions I would ask, though I consider the "Yes" answer to be the one I'm be looking for. Well, except the one about working for the Government, I guess I'm more or less neutral there.

welll im OLD and im married so we'll have to imagine that mr ashmoria is "up on the roof" if you know what i mean.

so

i need a man as smart or smarter than i am. i cant abide stupid.

i want a man who is very well respected in his field. whatever that field may be. he doesnt have to make a ton of money, but he has to do whatever it is he does very well.

i need a man who is amusing. i like to joke and laugh alot. i need a man who can make milk come out of my nose.

i want a man who can fix stuff around the house. the more stuff he can deal with the more i want him.

i want a man who adores me. not just "well she aint bad to look at and she can make a good pot of posole, so she'll do". if im not cherished, im not gonna bother.

i want a man who is still interested in good sex. oversexed is better than undersexed, but a strong desire for variety is the most important thing. oh yeah and he has to be monogamous. i dont share.

no hard core substance abuse, no small children, no severe mental problems, no violence, no ongoing financial disaster, no current wife who doesnt understand him.

in other words, i better keep the husband i have, its not easy to find a man with all that.

i like it if she can grab her ankles and look at me between her legs...

thats a nice moral quality that all decent god-fearing women should have.

Cripes, do you people even read the polls anymore? Space stations are way ahead of everything right now! Screw that "someone I can talk to" bull; it's all about hovering metal IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!

Holy crap, dude. Definitely a space station.

For one thing, she can't have any sympathy for neonazism. Strong radical tendencies are obviously good, as is at least some skepticism of technology, lest I end up arguing over transhumanism. Space stations don't impress me. Also, having a small waist and really big butt is good.

For one thing, she can't have any sympathy for neonazism. Strong radical tendencies are obviously good, as is at least some skepticism of technology, lest I end up arguing over transhumanism. Space stations don't impress me. Also, having a small waist and really big butt is good.
Are you Black/Hispanic?

Are you Black/Hispanic?

I'm white, actually. Why?

For one thing, she can't have any sympathy for neonazism. Strong radical tendencies are obviously good, as is at least some skepticism of technology, lest I end up arguing over transhumanism. Space stations don't impress me. Also, having a small waist and really big butt is good.

Ah. So you favor the "pet rock" option? A good choice and a popular one at that.