NationStates Jolt Archive

Maybe it's a dumb question, but I'm curious to hear what people think, and hopefully to hear their reasons why.

I suppose it would depend on how you define 'easier'. Love is certainly more natural, and hatred a heavy burden to bear (though love is burdensome in its own ways). Hatred requires less effort in some respects, though, and can be harder to get rid of.

It's much harder in my opinion... I've never fallen in love (liking someone alot doesn't count as true love), yet I've managed to hate quite a few people. It's also much easier to make someone hate you than to make someone love you....

I personally see it in the oppisite.

For me it takes something great to love, all it takes for me to hate, is some asshole.

I personally see it in the oppisite.

For me it takes something great to love, all it takes for me to hate, is some asshole.
Or a misplaced comma.

Hate is more fun anyway.
Love, as I understand, causes nausea akin to having swallowed insects (namely, butterflys). With hate, you only feel like you've swallowed insects when the other guy as forced you to swallow them (namely, live scorpions).

I think its easier to love in general. Loving your friends and family does count as love just a different type of love. The greeks, for example, have four words for the different kinds of love. but, I think they only have one word for hate. Plus I believe that people say hate when they mean strongly dislike. To hate someone is a really powerful emotion that eats you up inside and is self-destructive. Normally hate can only come where there was once love. for example, when someone you love cheats on you, it is possible to be consumed with hatred. I personally do not hate anyone, I have lots of friends and family that I love and a few people I dislike. Anyway my point is that yes, it is easier to love than to hate

Maybe it's a dumb question, but I'm curious to hear what people think, and hopefully to hear their reasons why.

Here's a story that proves your point:

So it's the last day of school, and this kid who I think is a NeoNazi went up to me and tried to make amends with me for his actions towards me. I swear, I could seriously feel my inner dark side wanting to come out and just say "Yeah, right; like you're not gonna ever do this again." But it was weird, because I just accepted his apology and "forgave" him, yet I could still hear my better judgement telling me "You fool! He's just gonna pull this same shit over you next year!" But the good side of me just said "ah shut up! if he does, then, well . . . actually he'll do this all again but why be mean?"

(NOTE: This conversation is only metaphorical, I do not actually talk to myself)

It seems to me that hate can be sweeping in scope, and rather arbitary at times. Love requires specifics, and is specific.

I suppose it would depend on how you define 'easier'. Love is certainly more natural, and hatred a heavy burden to bear (though love is burdensome in its own ways). Hatred requires less effort in some respects, though, and can be harder to get rid of.

This gets at what I was going to say. In one respect love is more difficult because it seems to require much more conscious thought and effort than hate. Yet when you are in a true mode of love, things in your life really do seem to flow more easily--even the difficult ones. And in that sense love is almost effortless.

Hatred to me seems to occur where conscious thought is absent--have you ever noticed how right before you do some kind of hateful act, it's as if your mind itself drains out? Hate seems to at least partially manifest itself as an absence. In one way it's easier to abandon yourself to this void, but it will very quickly make your life a living hell.

I'm not sure, then, which counts as "easier" (least work or best results)--you could make a case for either.

Here's a story that proves your point:

So it's the last day of school, and this kid who I think is a NeoNazi went up to me and tried to make amends with me for his actions towards me. I swear, I could seriously feel my inner dark side wanting to come out and just say "Yeah, right; like you're not gonna ever do this again." But it was weird, because I just accepted his apology and "forgave" him, yet I could still hear my better judgement telling me "You fool! He's just gonna pull this same shit over you next year!" But the good side of me just said "ah shut up! if he does, then, well . . . actually he'll do this all again but why be mean?"

(NOTE: This conversation is only metaphorical, I do not actually talk to myself)

I agree with this, people have an amazing capacity to forgive. It is a lot easier to let go of hatred, but love is not so easily disposed of.

I've been infatuated, but I'm not sure I've ever been in love. I do often feel hate.

This gets at what I was going to say. In one respect love is more difficult because it seems to require much more conscious thought and effort than hate. Yet when you are in a true mode of love, things in your life really do seem to flow more easily--even the difficult ones. And in that sense love is almost effortless.

Hatred to me seems to occur where conscious thought is absent--have you ever noticed how right before you do some kind of hateful act, it's as if your mind itself drains out? Hate seems to at least partially manifest itself as an absence. In one way it's easier to abandon yourself to this void, but it will very quickly make your life a living hell.

I'm not sure, then, which counts as "easier" (least work or best results)--you could make a case for either.

Agree mostly, except I am inclined to disagree that hatred is an absence of conscious thought... anytime I'm very angry or in terms of my attitude towards anyone I hate... it's MUCH more conscious than those I care about. Those I care about I simply accept that they mean alot to me, i.e friends and such. Those I hate on the other hand... I tend to be very cold and calculated in my actions concerning them...

This is weird. I never realised how many people have people they really hate. I don't even have anyone that I particularly dislike. I have people that I am not fond of or that annoy me but thats all.
I guess I am just more naive than i realised

Agree mostly, except I am inclined to disagree that hatred is an absence of conscious thought... anytime I'm very angry or in terms of my attitude towards anyone I hate... it's MUCH more conscious than those I care about. Those I care about I simply accept that they mean alot to me, i.e friends and such. Those I hate on the other hand... I tend to be very cold and calculated in my actions concerning them...

While I'm calculated in those circumstances, there's kind of an inner voice arguing against the bad attitude (even when I've been wronged). It's when that voice goes silent--and I end up acting rashly--that the worst things seem to happen.

Maybe this is just a unique feature of my temperament, but I can actually be very "calculated" in good actions, perhaps even more so. I can remember times when I've gone to great lengths to set up good things for people I care about. I even had one amazing Christmas where I literally forgot I was going to receive any gifts myself, because I'd been so busy planning everybody else's (and enjoying it...this wasn't because anybody made me). It caught me by surprise when I realized I hadn't even given any requests to my family. Not to say that's happened every year, but I've found that "calculated" goodness exists, too, and I think it's more powerful than "calculated" hatred--because in the case of the hatred, eventually all thought does seem to disappear. Ever read Crime and Punishment? I love that book. Anyway, Raskolnikov seems to have suffered that himself--becoming calculated, but in the moment just tossing all caution to the wind.

I think it's a whole lot easier to hate.
In every person, there's something to hate.
In love, the one you love might not love you back, then you're hurt, in hate you don't risk anything, you just hate. It's easy.

It's easy to love those who love you.
It's bloody hard to love those who hate you.

This thread should have a poll

hmm everyone appears to have died

No, I'm still here, and was hoping to see more discussion on this.

it's easy to love your friends and hate your enemies.

it's loving your enemies that's the toughie.

I think that they are pretty equal. It is harder to begin to love someone, but once you do it doesn't take a lot of effort to keep that feeling of love. On the other hand, it is really easy to hate someone because of something they did or because of certain things about their personality. But it takes a lot of effort to hold a grudge because if they change their ways or if you begin to like them again, you have to remind yourself that this is a person that you don't like and try to keep that feeling of hate.

But when I really think about it, I would have to say that it is easier to love overall.

Hate is so much easier. It requires so little effort to hate something. With love you first have to get to understand something. Then you have to make sure that the feeling is mutual. Then you have to buy them gifts on birthdays, Valentines day, or any other special day. It requires a lot of maintenance to keep it together. With hate you don’t have to do anything except hate them.

It's much easier to feel indifference than hate or love.

I have found that we train ourselves to love or hate by reflex and upbringing. Just as a bad mood can make perfectly normal events seem spiteful; those who have conditioned themselves to hate find it easier to hate, love comes easier to those who are open to love.

Love and hate are both blinding, both are very similar in nature and expression; fiery, deep, passionate, these are words that can describe both love AND hate. What they share in common is "obsession"; an emotional response beyond the usual casual apathy towards strangers and aquaintences.

I agree with those who posted before that the inverse of both love and hate is apathy; the total non-commital nature of apathy makes both love and hate meaningless in its presence. As a void or black hole takes all into itself and remains nothing, Apathy can remain in a person wether they are hated or loved.

Hating or Loving someone who is wholly apathetic is painful; your intense feelings are recognized but not returned in any way shape or form. It's a rejection of sorts, a snub that your feelings somehow don't matter.

For me, it's hate. I try and think of myself as a compassionate, loving person and I try to be. On the other hand, I have a strong temper and once you cross me, I'm the type to carry grudges. I can hate easily, because when you get hurt emotionally in life, it's something you learn/pickup. Love doesn't come around as often as hate does.

I think everyone is focusing too much on romantic love. Love can be extremely powerful in other forms. There is the love of a mother for her child, considered one of the strongest bonds in life and what about the love between friends? Hate is also better when we let go of it. It requires conscious effort (in my opinion) to keep on hating someone deeply, whereas love lingers in many different ways.

It's much harder to hate, for me. And when I do hate, it's only very briefly, I force myself to get over it quickly. I hate to hate...

It's much harder to hate, for me. And when I do hate, it's only very briefly, I force myself to get over it quickly. I hate to hate...

I'll agree with that

If one were to take into consideration that, hypothetically, love and hate are equally strong words.... I have never loved, but I do think that I have hated, and still do hate. Thus, I conclude that it's easier to hate.

And not just things that annoy or prompt distaste towards... I mean really, really hate. Anyone alive durring the Holocost hates... that is, the Third Reich. (Most people now, hate the nazis, but not as deeply as one who was there.) Anyone alive today who is old enough to remember 9/11 hates. In my mind, I hate the reactionary conservatism that caused it, eastern and western alike. The insane, rascist, sexist extreme islamic nutjob that orchestrated the attacks, and the idiotic, born-again christian president that ignored the warning that was placed on his very desk... the one that allowed a payment of 2.5 million dollars two days prior to the attacks to said insane, rascist, sexist extreme islamic nutjob that orchestrated the attacks.

If you know what I mean. I really, really do hate, but I haven't found anything or anyone worth while to really, really love.

Maybe it's a dumb question, but I'm curious to hear what people think, and hopefully to hear their reasons why.

Well actually I find it easier to hate than to love. Hate is an emotion that comes quite fast upon me (do I sound like a lunatic wacco?)....

Once I even experienced something like a.... hm... I don't know a better word, I think one could call it a frenzy. You know, when all becomes blurry and red and the only thing that matters is to hurt the person you don't like.... On second thought it found it quite disturbing afterwards -honestly if would have had a weapon, I would have killed that guy without a second thought, quite disturbing, huh?

Hate is much easier for me.

I think both is difficult.
I´ve rather the impression most people are indifferent to many things. I personally observe this on myself as well.
To love or two hate means that you have to form a personal opinion on something - or at least to take over one.
Probably it is a bit easier to hate though: love requires acceptance of another person - it is more than just liking her/him. It is in that sense not judging the person, not condeming him and to accept her/him the way he is.
Actually I think that many people who say they are in love aren´t actually because they are not actually that. The don´t really accept the other: the love a picture of another person they have made for themself but not the real person. So it is no wonder that those relationships go wrong soon - and may even turn into hatred. Well: just my thouhts on the issue.