NationStates Jolt Archive

Farting in the shower--especially when you've just put shampoo in your hair and it's a greasy, slippery fart that curls the ends of your hair and makes your eyes bleed.

Just thought I'd share. :D

Hello thread, meet my friend, Uber Lockage. Oh, he's not here. He'll be here soon enough though. You guys will become great friends I'm sure...

Farting in the shower--especially when you've just put shampoo in your hair and it's a greasy, slippery fart that curls the ends of your hair and makes your eyes bleed.

Just thought I'd share. :D
yes, but have you done it during SEX?

WHILE playing "We built this city" on a nearby stereo?

WITH your sister?


Yeah me neither

This thread: full of hot air.

Though I use the term 'air' very loosely...

yes, but have you done it during SEX?

WHILE playing "We built this city" on a nearby stereo?

WITH your sister?


Yeah me neitherDude, if you're thinking about this kind of nastiness and you're only 14, then you've got one sick future ahead of you. Welcome to the club.

Dude, if you're thinking about this kind of nastiness and you're only 14, then you've got one sick future ahead of you. Welcome to the club.
Pfah! I outpervert you all, and I'm only 14... turning 15 on 29 December, though. Whoo.

Dude, if you're thinking about this kind of nastiness and you're only 14, then you've got one sick future ahead of you. Welcome to the club.
What? Oh, I just made that up.

I also made up a perfect torture technique

1. Cut off person's eyelids
2. Put him in a chair that positions him to face the sun
3. Get his head stuck to face the sun
4. If he continues to refuse, bury him in sand in an air-sealed room
5. Put a timer in the room that shows how long he has till the air he has is depleted
6. If still refuses, refill air and crush him with those walls that close in on you
7. after several nations condem this act, claim he was a terrorist

What? Oh, I just made that up.

I also made up a perfect torture technique

1. Cut off person's eyelids
2. Put him in a chair that positions him to face the sun
3. Get his head stuck to face the sun
4. If he continues to refuse, bury him in sand in an air-sealed room
5. Put a timer in the room that shows how long he has till the air he has is depleted
6. If still refuses, refill air and crush him with those walls that close in on you
7. after several nations condem this act, claim he was a terrorist

Uh, no. Cover his body in paper cuts, put a thick layer of salt on a very long slope. Roll him down it.

and see, when I get reeeeaaalllly mad at people, I like to get out a spoon and claw out their eyes


I know, I'm letting them off easy...but still

Farting in the shower--especially when you've just put shampoo in your hair and it's a greasy, slippery fart that curls the ends of your hair and makes your eyes bleed.

Just thought I'd share. :D

You disturb me. :(

*holds up cross* Back demons! Back to the firey pits with ye!

*Melts cross with Devil heat vision* I think not. HISSSSSSSSSS!

Ultimate Torture:

Daily heroin injections for six months. Then nothing until he gives the desired information. Simple, elegant and evil. :)

yes, but have you done it during SEX?

WHILE playing "We built this city" on a nearby stereo?

WITH your sister?


Yeah me neither

fuck, seriously

it was only that one time

stop hassling me!!!!!

Well, torture techniques vary from on-the-spot to when-I-rule-the-planet.

On-the-spot -> tie them down, use syringes to remove the aqueous humours (eyeball jelly) from one eye. You don't need to hold their eyelids open, because the syringe would have no problem going through the skin. As far as I know, syringes are easy to get, and if not, well, I guess there's something else evil I could think of.

When-I-rule-the-planet -> have someone strapped down, and use a high powered surgery laser (yes, they exist), to slowly slice off their legs from the feet up, in thin layers like deli meat. The lasers cauterise the wound as they cut, so their won't be any bleeding or loss of blood - which means if they faint during the process from the pain, you can just stop and wait until they come round. The same process would (I imagine) work quite well on male genitals, although for females something else would have to be done - perhaps something involving forcing red hot coals into certain orifices, or small internal cuts followed by salt.

I prefer psychological torture to physical torture, like chinese water torture. You strap your victim to the floor face up, gagged, in a pitchblack room with no sound other than water dripping onto his forehead from a hospital drip bag or leaking tap, he then goes insane within 12 hours.

Farting in the shower--especially when you've just put shampoo in your hair and it's a greasy, slippery fart that curls the ends of your hair and makes your eyes bleed.

Just thought I'd share. :D
lets do that again :D