NationStates Jolt Archive

We just got a new dog, a beagle pup. Only 9 weeks old and smart as a whip. I figured he needs to pull his weight around here like everyone else so I started teaching him to attack the dandelions in the front lawn, pulling the yellow flowers before they have a chance to mature and spread their seeds. He's taken to it quite well :p .

So it's gotten me thinking, what else can I teach my little canine genius? So I figured I'd put this question to the general forum and see what your twisted minds come up with. I'll check back later.

Open up beercan of course... or at least get them for you if you left them in a bucket of ice or something (beer has to be cool :p)

teach it to attack your kids boy/girlfriends!

Teach it to wash the dishes

Teach him to put the seat down on the toilet. ;)

*looks at his beagle*

You can get him to do anything without having to bribe him with food? *is very impressed*

This probably doesn't count as a pet "trick", but my cat is fat and likes to chase dogs. Literally, he will run after any stray dogs in the area, no matter what size they are, and recently we had to start putting up signs warning people about him because he started going after dogs on leashes too.

Another story iinvolving that cat: one day I found him playing with something on the ground. I went over there to look at it, and when I picked it up I realized that it was a squirrel tail. Just the tail, nothing else. I never found the remains of that squirrel. Actually he used to kill all of the small animals that lived around our house, so we had to put a bell on them so they could hear him coming. Every once in awhile he manages to get something anyway, we are not sure how.

This probably doesn't count as a pet "trick", but my cat is fat and likes to chase dogs. Literally, he will run after any stray dogs in the area, no matter what size they are, and recently we had to start putting up signs warning people about him because he started going after dogs on leashes too.

Another story iinvolving that cat: one day I found him playing with something on the ground. I went over there to look at it, and when I picked it up I realized that it was a squirrel tail. Just the tail, nothing else. I never found the remains of that squirrel. Actually he used to kill all of the small animals that lived around our house, so we had to put a bell on them so they could hear him coming. Every once in awhile he manages to get something anyway, we are not sure how.
I've belled my cat too, Lenbonia; they learn to move without jingling the bell, or they lie in wait until birds, rodents, et cetera get close enough for a pounce.

My dog can understand the entire English language.

Except the following words:

No.

Dont

Stop that.

Come here.

bad dog....

Stay

Behave!


but the rest of them are down pat.

teach it to attack your kids boy/girlfriends!
Heh, that's awesome.

"Hello ma'am. It's a ple aaarghh"

Hmm, my pet cat managed to catch a flower.

That's about it.

I'm disapointed, this is the best the minds of the general forum could come up with? The bowel movement thread got more responses than this :( .

my dog is a rat terrier & sometimes i think she is the smartest dog in the world she can
sit,stay,lay down,come,high five,shake left or right(whichever i ask),dance,i make my hands like guns & say "stick em up"& she puts her paws up,i put a snack right in front of her & count to three & she waits till three.OK this is cuter & funnier with girl dogs I say "how does a boy dog pea?" & she lifts her back leg!

Those are all cute tricks, but I want to teach him unusual, preferably practical tasks like the dandelion thing I'm working on with him now (we now have to forage in our neighbors yard for them he's gotten so good at eliminating them in ours). The beer thing has been done to death and I really don't want him opening my fridge anyways, I'd probably come downstairs during the night and find him making a sandwich ;) .

My dog has been ran over and he only has 3 legs. And when he goes to pee he jumps up a raise his leg that is left in the back.

When my cat wants something, she stands on her hind legs like a groundhog and looks right up at you with this look on her face as if to say, "I'm cute and I am the boss. Give me treats...or catnip, or attention, or the F-ing Iams, or just do something and if you didn't do the right thing I will continue to stand on my hind legs."

Sort of a stupid pet trick by itself, except for a couple of things - if you ignore her, she smacks you on the leg. Also, she has been trained to stand on her hind legs on cue.