NationStates Jolt Archive

"I am ready to meet my Maker.

Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter." -Winston Churchill


"Stranger ! Approach this spot with gravity !

John Brown is filling his last cavity."-Epitaph of an unknown dentist

"The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer (like the cover of an old book, its
contents worn out, and stript of its lettering and gilding) lies here, food for
worms. Yet the work itself shall not lost, for it will, as he
believed, appear once more In a new and more beautiful
edition, corrected and amended by its Author" -Benjamin Franklin

"All things considered. I'd rather be in Philadelphia" -W.C. Fields.

"I am ready to meet my Maker.

Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter." -Winston Churchill


"Stranger ! Approach this spot with gravity !

John Brown is filling his last cavity."-Epitaph of an unknown dentist

"The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer (like the cover of an old book, its
contents worn out, and stript of its lettering and gilding) lies here, food for
worms. Yet the work itself shall not lost, for it will, as he
believed, appear once more In a new and more beautiful
edition, corrected and amended by its Author" -Benjamin Franklin

"All things considered. I'd rather be in Philadelphia" -W.C. Fields.


Actually, Feilds is this:

"Frankly, on the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia".

Thats my favorite.

Actually, Feilds is this:

"Frankly, on the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia".

Thats my favorite.

Really? Odd. But I'm in no position to debate. Therefore, I believe you. :)

Really? Odd. But I'm in no position to debate. Therefore, I believe you. :)


I warn you...

I have a seltzer bottle and a very tiny car, right here buddy.

I warn you...

I have a seltzer bottle and a very tiny car, right here buddy.

Odd, so do I.

Coincidence? :D

I told you I was sick.

Odd, so do I.

Coincidence? :D


So, what position are normally in when you debate?

So, what position are normally in when you debate?

Missionary Position. :D

Missionary Position. :D


Well, I figured, a s married man, the debating usually came BEFORE the missionary position....

A-HYUK YUK YUK! :)

"Here lies Johnathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake."

"Here Lies Lester Moore, Shot six times with a fourty-Four,
No Less, No Moore.

-actual headstone in Tombstone Ar.

It seems some of you people already know this (http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/epitaphs.html)...

"I told you I was ill."

Spike Milligan's headstone.



And not actually on the headstone, but...

"Posterity will ne'er survey,
A nobler scene than this.
Here lie the bones of Castlereagh.
Stop traveller, and piss."

Byron writing on the ocassion of the death of Lord Castlereagh.

I'd like to have

THAT iis IT ! I've HAD IT WITH YOU PEOPLE !
I am SO not TALKING WITH YOU PEOPLE EVER AGAIN !

The last one was very good. Mine is this one:

"What was I thinking? I married YOU?"

That was on my Grandfathers grave, truth.

"I told you I was ill."

Spike Milligan's headstone.

That ones gets my vote too

"They were supposed to cremate me."

"Posterity will ne'er survey,
A nobler scene than this.
Here lie the bones of Castlereagh.
Stop traveller, and piss."

Byron writing on the ocassion of the death of Lord Castlereagh.
And there was me thinking I would be the one to post this.

"Here lies one Wood
Enclosed in wood
One Wood within another
One of these woods,
Is very good
We cannot praise the other"

“For a good time dig”

“She told me she could cook.”

"I'm not quite dead, sir!"

Here lies Johnny Yeast,
Pardon me for not rising.

Here lays Butch, we planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw.

Sir John Strange here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

She always said her feet were killing her, but no one believed her.

Billy Connely offered two options.

"Jesus Christ is that the time already!"


or, in very small writing that you'd have to get down very close to read:


"You're standing on my balls"

I'm very much in favour of tasteless gravestones, I think its great. Flipping the bird to the grim reaper.

I'm very much in favour of tasteless gravestones, I think its great. Flipping the bird to the grim reaper.

"The reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated." -Mark Twain.

I want my epitaph to read: "I spoke to Jesus and you're all going to hell!"

Here lies John Bunn
He was shot with a gun.
His name was not Bunn, but Wood;
But Wood would not rhyme with gun, but Bunn would.

Here lie the bones of Elizabeth Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
She was aye a virgin at seventeen,
A remarkable thing in Aberdeen.

On a downbeat note, which could be used to depress the classically educated:

Pulvis et Nihil

"I think I have a cold"-Jim Henson before succumbing to pneumonia