NationStates Jolt Archive

This may seem a non-relevant poll, but I find that after people have children, their opinions and priorities can change in the most remarkable of ways. If you do have children, please state honestly whether they have changed your life and perception.

I have to say for certain, mine affected my views and priorities because I never honestly considered certain aspects of different topics. Of course that may be an aspect of maturing as well :p

I have 3 BTW, ages 7,8, and 16.

nope...I'm 20

I have a daughter who'll be 14 in a week and a half--got to buy her a present.

Nope, but my cat is like a son to me. I kinda want kids someday...I already have names picked out. :D

Sorry, children are no longer on the menu. Could I interest you in some veal?

Children force you to mature. If you're any kind of responsible person having a child makes a world of difference. I've changed careers, endured jobs I hated, postponed schooling and deprived myself of dreams all for the sake of my children. And of course (like teenagers everywhere) my kids hate me and say I don't care about them :rolleyes: .

Children force you to mature. If you're any kind of responsible person having a child makes a world of difference. I've changed careers, endured jobs I hated, postponed schooling and deprived myself of dreams all for the sake of my children. And of course (like teenagers everywhere) my kids hate me and say I don't care about them :rolleyes: .
Unfortunately, they don't force everyone to mature, which is why you see more and more kids being raised by their grandparents. It matured the hell out of me, that's for sure, but it's not always the case.

I just had my first. I deny the term, 'mature'. *shudder*. Just saying the word makes me ill. But I'll say this: As happy as I was, I didn't know I was half-complete until my son was born.

I don't have children. Honestly, I hate children. I care nothing for them...besides, I have cats, and they are enough for me.

These are my kids ....

http://www.unlc.biz/kids.html

:D

I swore for a long time I wasn't going to have children....Drs for years said I couldn't have them anyways. I'm 28(soon to be 29 :( )and finally got pregnant...not that I tried. My biggest fear was becoming a parent, my life was going to change....I was so used to doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it...as the pregnancy progressed, I got over that...and the fear set in that I was gonna fail as a parent. It was a tough pregnancy..I was sick alot. I had my son on 06/14/04 and he passed away on 06/15/04...we didn't know anything was wrong til the week before. He had a massive malignant brain tumor and we had to make a choice to let him go, the tumor was 95% of his head(his head was enlarged from it).....it's amazing how much something like this makes you grow up...and it makes you realize how fragile life is and how much we take life for granted..... :(

Urm....I'm 21 and I don't really think I'm ready yet... If dorkboy....err...I mean, my boyfriend was ready (not that I can), then maybe I'd have kids....

it's amazing how much something like this makes you grow up...and it makes you realize how fragile life is and how much we take life for granted..... :(

I'm really sorry to hear about that.
You are absolutely right, life is very fragile and very much taken for granted.

I'm absolutely petrified of making a bad job of parenting, guess its the perfectionist in me so I don't know if I'd ever find a situation where I'd be happy to have children, even though I'm sure it would complete my life.

Nope, and not going to.

I'm absolutely petrified of making a bad job of parenting, guess its the perfectionist in me so I don't know if I'd ever find a situation where I'd be happy to have children, even though I'm sure it would complete my life.

Here, I'll help you out .... you *will* do a bad job parenting. Everybody does. No matter how hard you try or what you do, your kids will be dissatisfied with you at some point.

Oh, and don't ever read books on the subject ... instinct is far better.

Oh, and don't ever read books on the subject ... instinct is far better.
I agree instinct is a very good indicator of how one should do most things parenting wise. But I'd rather be overly cautious than just jump into making babies when I'm not emotionally mature or old enough or financially stable enough to do so.

Like I say, perhaps its a confidence thing...*ponders*

But I'd rather be overly cautious than just jump into making babies when I'm not emotionally mature or old enough or financially stable enough to do so.

I figure 22-25 is a good age to start having kids, but stop having kids when you hit around 30. Reasons?

1] You'll be young enough to handle the energy needed to keep up with a toddler.

2] Your kids will be grown and out of the house by the time you're 50.

Emotional maturity? Yeah, I suppose, but remember that your kids will want to play with you ... being a bit on the goofy side really helps.

Don't worry about financial stability. Kids really don't care how much money you make and my 6 year old spreads peanut butter on 2 day old cold pizza and loves it (admittedly, it ain't as bad as it sounds), so don't worry about high quality foods either.

Attentiveness, playfulness, and the maturity to know when to say "ok, that's enough" is really all you need.

There is a terrifying aspect to having children, though. You get to find out what it's like to truly love someone ... that's tough ... really tough.