Lutton
06-08-2004, 15:33
The Home Office has announced plans to make all UK citizens report to their local police station each morning for a roll call.
The decision comes in the wake of a report which criticised plans for the forthcoming national ID card.
The new scheme replaces the hi-tech Osama-busting cards with good old-fashioned face-to-face police work.
Speaking at a press conference, the home secretary responded angrily to allegations of a U-turn. "Yes, I did say that making people carry a little piece of plastic would prevent terrorism and illegal immigration. And I stand by that," he said when questioned. "It would also cure cancer and AIDS, plug the hole in the ozone layer, and make everybody in the UK a millionaire. It's just that we can have all the same benefits much sooner by investing the money in a few extra bobbies."
Full details of the scheme have not yet been released, but it is thought to involve every UK citizen over the age of 12 going to their local police station at 8am and standing in line until their name was called. T
here would also be an opportunity each morning for terrorists to give themselves up.
During the daily roll call, police officers would visit every house in the UK. Anybody found at home would be immediately exported for being an illegal immigrant. Either that, or garrotted under the terms of the Prevention of Terrorism Act.
Civil liberties campaigners have described the idea as "bonkers".
Courtesy of the Rockall Times
The decision comes in the wake of a report which criticised plans for the forthcoming national ID card.
The new scheme replaces the hi-tech Osama-busting cards with good old-fashioned face-to-face police work.
Speaking at a press conference, the home secretary responded angrily to allegations of a U-turn. "Yes, I did say that making people carry a little piece of plastic would prevent terrorism and illegal immigration. And I stand by that," he said when questioned. "It would also cure cancer and AIDS, plug the hole in the ozone layer, and make everybody in the UK a millionaire. It's just that we can have all the same benefits much sooner by investing the money in a few extra bobbies."
Full details of the scheme have not yet been released, but it is thought to involve every UK citizen over the age of 12 going to their local police station at 8am and standing in line until their name was called. T
here would also be an opportunity each morning for terrorists to give themselves up.
During the daily roll call, police officers would visit every house in the UK. Anybody found at home would be immediately exported for being an illegal immigrant. Either that, or garrotted under the terms of the Prevention of Terrorism Act.
Civil liberties campaigners have described the idea as "bonkers".
Courtesy of the Rockall Times