NationStates Jolt Archive

I am constantly seeing quotes from films, sit-coms, song lyrics, politicians etc...

I was wondering what peoples favourites were.

Some of mine.... (see if you can figure out where they came from)

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"I'm a little black woman, in a big silver box. On top, it says 'Phone'. HEEELP!!"

"Wales? What state is that in?"

"We were on a break!"

"Will you keep your eyes on the road?".... "Ok, if it makes you feel better."

"The funny thing is... I have a thingy that is shaped like a turnip."

"What immortal hand or eye, dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"

Winston Chirchillw as at aparty, and was being quite boisterous.

Woman (to Churchill): You Sir, are drunk!
Churchill: Madame, I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and in the morning I will be sober.

Favorite serious quote:

(Translated) "The death of one is a tragedy, but the death of a million is only a statistic" - Joseph Stalin

Favorite non-serious quote:

Actually I don't really have one, just name any of the really funny lines in Monty Python and the Holy Grail and it will probably qualify.

"Live or die, but don't poison everything."--Pushkin

Winston Chirchillw as at aparty, and was being quite boisterous.

Woman (to Churchill): You Sir, are drunk!
Churchill: Madame, I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and in the morning I will be sober.

Haha, Heard it before, but it's good. None come to my mind at the moment...

Ah, fuck it, Dude! Lets go bowling!

"There are but two powers in the world, the sword and the mind. In the long run the sword is always beaten by the mind."

- Napoleon Bonaparte

"I began revolution with 82 men. If I had to do it again, I do it with 10 or 15 and absolute faith. It does not matter how small you are if you have faith and plan of action."

- Fidel Castro

"A man's greatest moment in life is when his enemy lays vanquished, his village aflame, his herds driven before you and his weeping wives and daughters are clasped to your breast."

- Gengis Kahn

I am constantly seeing quotes from films, sit-coms, song lyrics, politicians etc...

I was wondering what peoples favourites were.

Some of mine.... (see if you can figure out where they came from)

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

"I'm a little black woman, in a big silver box. On top, it says 'Phone'. HEEELP!!"

"Wales? What state is that in?"

"We were on a break!"

"Will you keep your eyes on the road?".... "Ok, if it makes you feel better."

"The funny thing is... I have a thingy that is shaped like a turnip."

"What immortal hand or eye, dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"

The one with the turnip is from Blackadder (second season?). Of course Blackadder is full of unavoidable quotes.

Like: "I quite liked the slug-balancer!"
Or: "Woof Woof!"
Or of course: "I have a cunning plan sir."

The one from the friends episode is also known to me

Winston Chirchillw as at aparty, and was being quite boisterous.

Woman (to Churchill): You Sir, are drunk!
Churchill: Madame, I may be drunk, but you are ugly, and in the morning I will be sober.
Another Churchill quote: A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

My sig quotes...

one of my favourites:

There was no need to clean the house, after the first four years the dirt didnt get any worse.

I think it was said by Oscar Wilde, but i could be wrong.

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
George Bernard Shaw

"If something wrong can happen, it will." -Murphy's law

The first one is from Princess Bride, right Fluffyness?

I like the cynicism one, but my favorite is still either "No one committed an atrocity in the name of atheism." or "Gay marriage will lead to bestiality marriage just like women voting lead to hamsters voting."

Yes, the first one is from The princess bride.

My favourite quotes are:
"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays" (from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) and
"You omnivores disgust me. You're like bisexuals. You’re not flexible or open-minded, you're just easy" (said by my friend Kim. She's a veggie.)

one of my favourites:

There was no need to clean the house, after the first four years the dirt didnt get any worse.

I think it was said by Oscar Wilde, but i could be wrong.


Quentin Crisp, I think you'll find, who also famously refered to himself as one of the stately homos of England.


"Non Serviam"

"You omnivores disgust me. You're like bisexuals. You’re not flexible or open-minded, you're just easy" (said by my friend Kim. She's a veggie.)

Us vegans sometimes think the same of vegetarians.

Zapp Brannigan:"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies"

My favourite serious quote, believe it or not, is from one of the top nazis, Herman Goerring
"Naturally the common people don't want war..... but after all it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a paliament, or a communist dictatorship. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works in every country"

Ah, its so true....

Give a man a gun and he thinks he's superman, give him two and he thinks he's god

My quote that I live by is:

"Growing up is inevitable, maturing is optional." :D

I don't know who said that originally, I think I first got that out of a furtune cookie or something like that.

A more serious qoute would be:

"To help another is noble; to teach another to help himself is nobler, and less trouble."
-Mark Twain

Tell a man there is 26 billions stars in the sky and he will believe you; Tell him there's wet paint on a bench and he'll have to make sure.

"We've come on holiday by accident!"- from Withnail and I, indeed there are many from that film, but this one stands above the rest i feel.

"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."



Inigo also delivers probably the best "son-of-a-bitch" line as well later. After he fights and defeats the Six-Fingered Man(I can't recall his actual name, it's been a whiole since I've seen the movie), he has Six-FIngers on his knees begging:
Inigo: "Tell me, you'll give me anyhting I want."

Six-Fingered Man: "Anything!"

Inigo: (leans close) "I want my father back you son of a bitch!" (Kills Six FInger)

Just a few favorites...

From The Godfather:
Michael: My father is no different than any powerful man, any man with power, like a president or senator.
Kay: Do you know how naive you sound, Michael? Presidents and senators don't have men killed!
Michael: Oh. Who's being naive, Kay?

From Monty Python:
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Dennis: Come see the violence inherent in the system. Help, help, I'm being repressed.

And, lastly (cookies to whoever can name from where):
Here's looking at you, kid.

And, lastly (cookies to whoever can name from where):
Here's looking at you, kid.
Humprey Bogart in Casablanca.
Now, where's my cookie?

A small sampling:

WC Fields:
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.
Hell, I never vote for anybody. I always vote against.

Robert Anson Heinlein:
Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she is not.
Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
You live and learn. Or you don't live long.
An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.
I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

Niccolo Machiavelli:
Since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved.
When neither their property nor their honor is touched, the majority of men live content.

Benjamin Franklin:
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

P.J. O'Rourke:
To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.
Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.
When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved.

"Bring me a toolshed, for I am hungry." ~Family Guy
"It's not pollution that's ruining our environment, it's all the impurities in our air and water." ~Dan Quail

words to live by:

you dont know if its edible til you eats it

time bandits

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants
-Thomas Jefferson

I'm kinda into the whole cult movie thing, so here's a few of my favorites.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
"I'll cripple you for this you bastard!"

"FINISH THE STORY!! Tell me about the glands!"

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
Eddie:They're armed.
Soap: Armed, armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!

Rory Breaker:If you hold back anything, I'll kill ya. If you bend the truth or I think your bending the truth, I'll kill ya. If you forget anything I'll kill ya. In fact, you're gonna have to work very hard to stay alive, Nick. Now do you understand everything I've said? Because if you don't, I'll kill ya.

And of course, the greatest cult movie of all time; Snatch

Tyrone: I didn't see it.
Vinny: It's a two f***ing ton van Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of f***ing peanuts now is it?
Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the truck]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. When you reverse, things come at you from behind!

Turkish: You take sugar?
Brick Top: No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough

Four of my all-time favorite Family Guy quotes:

Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.

Damn the broccoli, damn you, and damn the Wright brothers!

For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!

Kids, we just have to learn to accept this. Like one of those stories on Dateline where a family member suffers a horrible accident and becomes a burden on everybody. Sure, they pretend to be happy, but they're dead inside, they're dead. And that'll be our lives.

"I'm on a whisky diet. So far, I've lost three days." - Tommy Cooper

Although the great Comrade Stalin said many great things, these are the two I chose:

"Death solves all problems - no man, no problem."

"Die, but do not retreat."

HAIL STALIN!!

Simpsons:


Host: The capital of North Dakota is named after what German Ruler?
Homer: Hitler.
Marge: Hitler, North Dakota?

My favourite quotes are:
"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays" (from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy)

Lol. I loved the television series they made from it. Allright it is very dated now, but the humour still works. Other quotes from it...
"They hung in the sky exactly the same way that bricks don't."
"It's like having your brain smashed in by a slice of lemon.... wrapped around a large gold brick."
"If you've ever wondered what it is like to be drunk, ask a glass of water."
and my favourite of all...
"Marvin? What are you doing in a car park?"...(marvin replies)"I'm parking cars! What else do you do in a car park?"

From Ronald Reagan:
"If it moves tax it, if it keeps moving regulate it, if it stops moving subsidize it"

Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men"
"You can't handle the truth!"

A few quotes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
"Run Away! Run Away!"
Sounds like the Democrats commenting on foreign policy. Don't take it seriously people, just a joke.

"nothing but a flesh wound"

"a swallow? maybe an african swallow"

From Ronald Reagan:
"If it moves tax it, if it keeps moving regulate it, if it stops moving subsidize it"

Lol. Never heard this one before. Was he serious when he said it? I mean, there are so many levels to this statement. I have this image of Ronald reagan subsidizing corpses because 'they stopped moving'. Reagan has to be my favourite U.S president... just for comedy value. (no offense meant)

Incidentally, the quote in my first post... "Wales. What state is that in?" was by Bill Clinton when he met Charlotte Church. (a 15 year old opera singer at the time who originated from Wales.) Allegedly, she just laughed at him because she thought he HAD to be joking.

My all time favourite quote, ever, has to be this one by the character Zap Brannigan from Futurama:

"If we can hit that bull's-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards...Checkmate."

"When the mind is right, the sword os right. When the mind is wrong, the sword is wrong. If you wish to follow the Way of the Sword, you must first study the Way of the Mind." -anon

"Do no Harm." EMT creedo

"life is a circle... I am sure we will meet again." -from the Beastmaster.

"STERN??????? Hangin's too GOOD for im! Burnin's too good for im! They ought ta cut him into itsy bitsy pieces, and bury him ALIIIIIIIIVE." -Heavy Metal

"I hate this place, this zoo, this prison, this reality, whatever you want to call it. I can't stand it anymore. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I can taste your stink, and every time I do, I fear I've somehow been contaminated by it."
Agent Smith
~Matrix
" Whoa man the walls are melting and I'm talking to a penguin, This sure as hell sounds like one of momma's good old fashion pot enduced mind fucks..."
That Dude from that cartoon on Flashplayer
"Ignorance is bliss."
~Matrix
"Where's the chedda biatch!"
Dunno

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

:D

"As you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Oct. 28, 2003

:confused:

http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/graphics/bush_monkey_small.jpg

"We were on a break!"

"The funny thing is... I have a thingy that is shaped like a turnip."

"What immortal hand or eye, dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"
Ross, Friends

Baldrick, Blackadder 2

William Blacke, Tiger Tiger.

"If the left is understood to include 'Bolshevism,' then I would flatly dissociate myself from the left. Lenin was one of the greatest enemies of socialism."--Noam homsky

"No one has the right to take the life of another"--Rem Saverem

"We are convinced that freedom without Socialism is privilege and injustice, and that Socialism without freedom is slavery and brutality."--Mikhail Bakunin

"Patriotism is slavery"--Leo Tolstoy

"Well-being for all is not a dream. It is possible, realizable, owing to all that our ancestors have done to increase our powers of production."--Peter Kropotkin

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" Matthew 5:44

"But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality." (Golden Text: 2 Corinthians 8:14)

"Workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains"--Karl Marx*

*While I am not a Marxist, I think that was a truly great quote.

"Those willing to give up a little liberty for a little security deserve neither security nor liberty." - Benjamin Franklin

*cough* patriot act *cough*

;)

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life."

Now, if I could just remember the source.... ;)

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."
Don't know who said it originally, but I first remember hearing it on the Artists Against Apartheid album.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."
Douglas Adams

I would also add the one about the definition of insanity as being doing the same thing over again and again, but expecting different results, but I can't remember the exact wording.

to counter your religious post...:p

"And it harm none, do as ye will"

Wiccan Rede :D

"Hope is on the way." John Edwards

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!" Howard Dean :D

"But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality." (Golden Text: 2 Corinthians 8:14)



2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not try to work together as equals with unbelievers, for it cannot be done. How can right and wrong be partners? How can light and darkness live together? How can Christ and the Devil agree? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? How can God's temple come to terms with pagan idols? For we are the Temple of the living God!

"I'm here to kick ass and chew gum, and I'm all outta gum!" - 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper, They Live

...

2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not try to work together as equals with unbelievers, for it cannot be done. How can right and wrong be partners? How can light and darkness live together? How can Christ and the Devil agree? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? How can God's temple come to terms with pagan idols? For we are the Temple of the living God!

Roffle!

**thinks about the dates of Easter and Christmas**

Looks like the Church has some 'splaning to doooooooo :p

"Those willing to give up a little liberty for a little security deserve neither security nor liberty." - Benjamin Franklin The really great thing about this quote I found out recently is that Franklin may not have originated it. http://www.futureofthebook.com/stories/storyReader$605 for the whole story which I'm not going to reprint here.

Which brings me to a definite Franklin quote on the same subject:

Distrust and caution are the parents of security.

my favorites right now:

Peace n. - In international afairs, a period of cheating between periods of fighting.

The distiction between freedom and liberty is not accurately known; naturalists have never been able to find a living specimen of either.

Ambrose Bierce

I just found this one recently. It's somewhat dirty, but I think it's ok to post here (tell me if I'm wrong though!). Plus, I think the grammer picky people out here will like it.

"Capitalization is the difference between 'I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse..'"

"dive into the endless handbag known as your imagination"-forgot

"You have invoked my squirrely wrath!"-foamy

"Imagine all the people, living for today"-John Lennon

"America can do better"-Kerry

I know alot of really good quotes, but this one is by far one of the best.

"There's something ultimately very empty about heroism in war. Last night I watched a man I have known since high school give his life for the man next to him. There's something about your friend, your crew member, your brother. To die for him isn't even a thought. It's like breath." - From the journal of Sgt. Matt Baker, 3d Squad, 3d Platoon, Fox Company, 502d PIR, 101st Airborne.

Anyone here played the latest WarCraft?

If you right click on the undeads enough times then eventualy they'll say:

"Right click for hot undead action"


Bloody hilarious!

"Try to think of it less as an upsetting humiliation, and more as an amusing anecdote." George, Drop The Dead Donkey
"In the real world, I'd give her a call, but it wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be legal, either." Keith, Marion and Geoff

" I'm a little black woman, in a big silver box. On top, it says * Phone * . HELP ! "

I love that movie, Whoopi is the best, :)

Serious Quotes :

"To avoid the eternal breakfast, some of the characters must cause problems for some of the others." - Margaret Atwood.

"We say America has entered the war to make the world safe for democracy, she must first make democracy safe in America." - Emma Goldman.

"TV has brought murder back into the home where it belongs." - Alfred Hitchcock.

"War. Rape. Murder. Poverty. Equal rights for gays. Guess which one the Southern Baptist Convention is protesting?" - The Value of Families.

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen Roberts.

And one of my favourites,

"Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an antigay bill in Congress. If it passes, they won't be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole." - Judy Carter.

Roffle!

**thinks about the dates of Easter and Christmas**

Looks like the Church has some 'splaning to doooooooo :p

Lol. (not to mention that the calender being seperated into lunar months and four seasons is originally a pagan concept too.)

Some nice quotes have been posted. Am I the only person finding that a couple of the 'serious quotes' are really amusing?
Like this one from Komokom...
"Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an antigay bill in Congress. If it passes, they won't be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole." - Judy Carter.

"Rape. Murder. Pillage and kill. Rape, murder, pillage and kill and eat babies!"
-Airborne Rangers Chant
(I shortened that and used it as my national motto. :p )

"The First Amendment may give you the right to say whatever you want, but the Second Amendment gives me the right to shoot you for it."

"Nobody knows anything."
-William Goldman

"Burma!"
-Monty Python

Anyone here played the latest WarCraft?

If you right click on the undeads enough times then eventualy they'll say:

"Right click for hot undead action"


Bloody hilarious!

I like WC quotes, too. :p
Some more of my favs are:

"Ya know what really burns my ass?... A flame about this high."
-Pit Lord

"I see only darkness...oh wait, my hood's down."
-Acolyte

My personal favorite:
"Zug-zug."
- Orcs

"Rape. Murder. Pillage and kill. Rape, murder, pillage and kill and eat babies!"
-Airborne Rangers Chant
(I shortened that and used it as my national motto. :p )


Call me a tad over-sensitive, perhaps, but I really don't think that an incitement to rape is a fitting motto for an internet game.

"I have not yet begun to fight."--John Paul Jones

"A journey of a thousand miles always begins with one little step."--Lao-tzu

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."--Albert Einstein

"The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time."--Friedrich Nietzsche

"Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks."--Doug Larson

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

-- Jesus

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

-- Jesus

I thought that was Spock. :p

King of Swamp Castle: You only killed the bride's father, you know.
Sir Lancelot: Well, I didn't mean to.
King of Swamp Castle: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head.
Sir Lancelot: Oh dear... is he all right?

~Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"God didn't make each man equal, Mr. Winchester did."

Some western I saw.

King of Swamp Castle: Guards, make sure the prince doesn't leave this room until I come and get him.
Guard #1: Not to leave the room... even if you come and get him.
Guard #2: [hiccups]
King of Swamp Castle: No, no. *Until* I come and get him.
Guard #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room.
King of Swamp Castle: No, no, no. You *stay* in the room, and make sure *he* doesn't leave.
Guard #1: And you'll come and get him.
Guard #2: [hiccups]
King of Swamp Castle: Right.
Guard #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop him entering the room.
King of Swamp Castle: No, no. *Leaving* the room.
Guard #1: Leaving the room, yes.
King of Swamp Castle: All right?
Guard #2: [hiccups]
Guard #1: Right. Oh, if, if, if, uh, if, if, uh, if, if, if, we... oh, if... oh...
King of Swamp Castle: Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure he doesn't leave the room. All right?
Guard #2: [hiccups]
Guard #1: Oh, I remember, uh, can he leave the room with us?
King of Swamp Castle: No, no, no, no, you just keep him in here, and make sure...
Guard #1: Oh yeah, we'll keep him in here, obviously, but if he had to leave, and we were with him...
King of Swamp Castle: No, just keep him in here...
Guard #1: Until you, or anyone else...
King of Swamp Castle: No, not anyone else. Just me.
Guard #1: Just you.
Guard #2: [hiccups]
King of Swamp Castle: Get back.
Guard #1: Get back.
King of Swamp Castle: All right?
Guard #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.
King of Swamp Castle: And make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: What?
King of Swamp Castle: Make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: The prince?
King of Swamp Castle: Yes, make sure he doesn't leave.
Guard #1: Oh, yes, of course.
[Points at Guard #2]
Guard #1: I thought you meant him. You know, it seemed a bit daft me I were to guard him when he's a guard.
King of Swamp Castle: Is that clear?
Guard #2: [hiccups]
Guard #1: Oh, quite clear. No problems.
King of Swamp Castle: Right.
[King of Swamp Castle turns to leave the room, both guards follow him]
King of Swamp Castle: Where are you going?
Guard #1: We're coming with you.
King of Swamp Castle: No, no, no. I want you to stay here and make sure *he* doesn't leave.
Guard #1: Oh, I see. Right.

What sort of day have you had?

Oh, my husband and father were killed! Dog was burnt! Well, that's about it really, er. . . Oh, and I was tortured a bit!

What? Sorry dear, I was just reading this.

-The Private Life of Ghengis Khan
by Douglas Adams

This isn't anything a famous person said, but is a quote by my ex-friend. And no, I'm not making it up.

An admantly pro-Bush person (who was neither family, friend, nor foe) was denouncing the French for their lack of support of Bush.

My ex-friend (who was my friend at the time) said, "But if it wasn't for the French, we'd be speaking British right now!"

"Rape. Murder. Pillage and kill. Rape, murder, pillage and kill and eat babies!"
-Airborne Rangers Chant
(I shortened that and used it as my national motto. :p )Reminds of this one: "Remember, it's rape the *women* and burn the *houses*."