NationStates Jolt Archive

My grandma on my dad's side took a DNA test to trace back her roots. Somehow modern science was able to pinpoint specific people in history, and as it turns out, we are related to King David who ruled over Israel during biblical times. I find this hilarious.


Technically, according to the bible, the Messiah (son of God) is a descendant of King David. If, in fact, that is true, I am related to Jesus.


the Irony: I am Jewish.

the Irony: I am Jewish.

So was Jesus.. :rolleyes:

but wouldn't his descendants at least convert to Christianity?

My grandma on my dad's side took a DNA test to trace back her roots. Somehow modern science was able to pinpoint specific people in history, and as it turns out, we are related to King David who ruled over Israel during biblical times. I find this hilarious.


Technically, according to the bible, the Messiah (son of God) is a descendant of King David. If, in fact, that is true, I am related to Jesus.


the Irony: I am Jewish.
And I'm related to Adolf Hitler. Come a little closer >:)

but wouldn't his descendants at least convert to Christianity?

I suppose.....

Lol, thats cool. But try proving that to your friends...

Furor Atlantis: I'm related to King David.
Them: *cough* sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Furor Atlantis: Don't believe me?
Them: No..Way...In....Hell.

See, it gets pretty interesting pretty fast

The worst part is that my dad won't let me bring the official paperwork around, so I have to scan it in and print out copies, that look relatively unimpressive.

Hmmm, from memory, we traced a member of my family ... my maternal grand-father, if that does not make sense, then my mums dad, back to who we think was a convict on the First Fleet, ( First fleet to have colonised Australia, Captain Cook and all that business )

He was originally convicted for removing some of the lead off a church roof.

My being atheist, means I find this hysterical.

:D

Aren't all Australians convicts?

A long time ago. Not anymore.

So was Jesus.. :rolleyes:

Only by matrilineal descent: it can be argued that in later life he failed the other requirement for being Jewish - being accepted as such by the wider Jewish community...

Aren't all Australians convicts?


No. Only a very sparse minority are descended from them, contrary to popular belief.

Aren't all Australians convicts?

Actually yeah. Most are. Even in times such as these countries send undesirable types to Australia to be rid of them. They want to save the money for having to imprison them for a few years.

I thouht Kind david was just a fincational character. How the hell did they get some of his DNA>/?

No. Only a very sparse minority are descended from them, contrary to popular belief.

Thought so.

Actually yeah. Most are. Even in times such as these countries send undesirable types to Australia to be rid of them. They want to save the money for having to imprison them for a few years.

Oh, so thats why all these obnoxious american exchange students are wandering around my university. :D

(Was a Dig at Refugee policy)

I did a geneological study of my family and found out that my family is on a list of Jewish families in Kracow Poland. The funny thing is I'm not Jewish and my ancesters immigrated from Bavaria not Poland.

* Walks about thread, stealing wallets.

There is no scientific proof that Jesus actually existed... Well, he might have, but I don't think that he would have had loads of followers. I AM NOT SAYING THAT CHRISTIANITY OR JEWISM IS BAD, WRONG OR UNTRUE! :gundge:

There is no scientific proof that Jesus actually existed... Well, he might have, but I don't think that he would have had loads of followers. I AM NOT SAYING THAT CHRISTIANITY OR JEWISM IS BAD, WRONG OR UNTRUE!

troll.

Yeah !

* Steals War And Freedom's wallet. Chases them out with my frying-pan.

There is no scientific proof that Jesus actually existed... Well, he might have, but I don't think that he would have had loads of followers. I AM NOT SAYING THAT CHRISTIANITY OR JEWISM IS BAD, WRONG OR UNTRUE! :gundge:

There is no scientific evidence that George Washington existed. Discuss.

* Please do not feed the trolls ...

:D + ;)

There is no scientific proof that Jesus actually existed... Well, he might have, but I don't think that he would have had loads of followers. I AM NOT SAYING THAT CHRISTIANITY OR JEWISM IS BAD, WRONG OR UNTRUE! :gundge:

well they found a grave site that held the remaines of some guy who was supposedly jesus's brother. wich is probly the closest thing they have come up with proving he was around. how ever, there is no fundimentle proof he was the son of god. i mean, walking down the street to get butts i bump into eight hobos claiming to be the son of god, or what have you. hell even charles manson was thought by many to be the next christ. and i am pretty sure he existed. who is to say this christ fellow was not just the predisesor to modern crazy people?
not saying jesus did not exist would be like saying some guy named bob didn't exist in medeval europe. it is weather or not he was the son of god.

and back to the king david thing. where did you get a sample of his dna? if you could scan the dna report and post a link on here that would be interesting to look at. if nothing other then to see how many generations there was between then and now.

How much did that test cost anyway? sounds interesting.

How can you prove the existence of Jesus if he rose from the dead and ascended into heaven?
Where's the phisical evidence?

~HARU player who is a Christian.
Never stop questioning all that is around you for knowledge is power.

Dude--sounds like someone ripped off your grandma. I'd go kick some ass if I were you.

Think about it for a second. Someone is saying that they can trace your lineage back through a period where there are few if any written records and link up your family DNA with someone who is the Jewish equivalent of King Arthur--that's about how much archaeological evidence there is for David. Someone took your grandma for a ride.

Here's an interesting Thought!

I'm related to Two Presidents of the USA as well as to General Robert E. Lee, Confederate General in Chief.

Rich people are so inbred.

Rich people are so inbred.

HAHA!!! We're making about 100,000 Dollars.

SO much for being rich! LOL

Well, I'm not Jewish (although I get my fair share of Nazi hate-telegrams) for running this nation :p

I'm more likely to be related to some villager in a backwater village in China. :(

the Irony: I am Jewish.
Well, David was Jewish. So was Jesus and everyone else in hte Bible.

Me? I am related to a buncha people in the Appalachian mountains, and a buncha people in Deutschland, and then a buncha people in Ireland. But only distantly. Mostly, I am Southern.

100 000 int bad actually. But I was referring to the disturbing way in which most of the U.S famous Aristocracy is related to each other in some capacity or another.

100 000 int bad actually. But I was referring to the disturbing way in which most of the U.S famous Aristocracy is related to each other in some capacity or another.

John Adams (President)
John Quincy Adams (Son of John Adams)

LOL

I am curious as to who they proved relationship.

I have been to the ME and have seen the tomb of King David.

Problem: They are not 100% sure it is the tomb.

Tracing roots is fun. There is one person in our line who has the same name as somebody that would link us to the Royals of England, Scotland and France. Would be interesting to be related to: Robert the Bruce, William the Conqueror, and Eleanor of Aquitaine. There are more just at the top of my head.


However, we can't prove or disprove the relationship. We just keep the geneology line for laughs.

if you figure out the exponential increase in ancestors 27 generations, you come up with 134,217,728 people. You can equate a generation to about 20 years...it's longer now but I'll average out as you go further back. That means if you go back 540 years you have to be related to 134 million, or roughly 1/3 to 2/5s of the 350-375 million estimated population in the 15th century.

Can ya guess what happens when you go back on more generation?

You're all a bunch of inbred misfits!

Oh, and me too.

This made me recall something I saw in the Guinness Book once. I couldn't find a copy on my bookshelf, however, so I had to go looking on the Internet, and here's what I found about cartoonist Ranan Lurie (http://lurieunaward.com/about_lurie.htm):
Lurie is one of the few people who have their name in the same volume of the GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS twice, representing two very different records: one of being the most widely syndicated political cartoonist in the world, and the other of being a scion of the oldest known living family in the world today. Writes the GUINNESS BOOK: "In January 1997, Chief Rabbi Lau of Israel and the Jerusalem Institute of Jewish Genealogy concluded that the Lurie (or Luria) family is directly descended from the royal house of the biblical King David and can trace its genealogy back to the 10th century BC. The Lurie family tree includes such distinguished members as the prophet Isaiah (8th century B.C.), the Rashi (1040-1105), Hillel Hanasi ("the Elder") 30 B.C.-1st century A.D.), Felix Mendelssohn, Karl Marx, Sigmund Freud, Salvador Luria, Yehudi Menuhin, Sir Immanuel Jakobovitz, and Ranan Lurie."
So I guess there is technically some way to "prove" it.

Holy shit. My grandma's maiden name was Laurie-bogen. (maiden last name)

but wouldn't his descendants at least convert to Christianity?

Maybe his near relatives, but it wouldn't be likely to affect his 460th cousin 321 times removed, now would it? :P

At 31 generations, genetic association becomes meaningless (You contain six billion or so base pairs making up yon DNA. Next generation has three billion, then the next 1500 million, then 750 million, then 375... by your 31st-generation descendent, they're related to you by about a base pair and a half. And since about 98% of it is common, backtrack up to the 26th generation. While the space between generations is widening, it comes out to, at present, about 550 years. If you go by 31, about 665.)

So what's that all mean? Anything as distant as the Magna Carta is more or less meaningless if you're trying to find power in genetics. Contributory value's even low at the point of Leonardo or Shakespeare.

At 31 generations, genetic association becomes meaningless (You contain six billion or so base pairs making up yon DNA. Next generation has three billion, then the next 1500 million, then 750 million, then 375... by your 31st-generation descendent, they're related to you by about a base pair and a half. And since about 98% of it is common, backtrack up to the 26th generation. While the space between generations is widening, it comes out to, at present, about 550 years. If you go by 31, about 665.)

So what's that all mean? Anything as distant as the Magna Carta is more or less meaningless if you're trying to find power in genetics. Contributory value's even low at the point of Leonardo or Shakespeare.

unless you throw a sport.

Funny story, I used to know a guy in Elementary school who claimed he was Decended from the English Aristocracy from the house of Stuart just because his name was Stuart, his first name, no less.

As for me, one of my relitives was General Georgi Zukov, the great Soviet General from WWII. The catch? Im 85% Hungarian, the only country to try to Revolt against Soviet rule during the cold war.

Imagine that...

My grandma on my dad's side took a DNA test to trace back her roots. Somehow modern science was able to pinpoint specific people in history, and as it turns out, we are related to King David who ruled over Israel during biblical times. I find this hilarious.


Technically, according to the bible, the Messiah (son of God) is a descendant of King David. If, in fact, that is true, I am related to Jesus.


the Irony: I am Jewish.
If your Jewish as I am, Jesus isn't the Messiah, he is yet to come.

unless you throw a sport.

I'm ... not entirely sure what you mean by that.

I'm pure Roman. Anyone of non northern-italiano shallow roots are considered to be from roman decent. North Italia's anglo features doesn't represent my roman ancestry!

Bosso!

on my mother's side i'm murray and stuart.

on my father's side i'm related to pres. grant. and the rest of my father's side i don't know because my g-ma is really hush hush about it. i imagine there's something she's ashamed of... ie i'm not white bread.

but then i already know that. i have olive skin, coarse hair, high cheekbones, short toes, and chisel-shaped teeth.


i'm a genetic mess and i love it.

I'm ... not entirely sure what you mean by that.


a sport is a genetic anomaly that doesn't represent recent characteristics but can represent characteristics off someone way back when...

it generally refers to someone with so much crossover recombination that they do not resemble their parents at all.

My grandma on my dad's side took a DNA test to trace back her roots. Somehow modern science was able to pinpoint specific people in history, and as it turns out, we are related to King David who ruled over Israel during biblical times. I find this hilarious.


Technically, according to the bible, the Messiah (son of God) is a descendant of King David. If, in fact, that is true, I am related to Jesus.


the Irony: I am Jewish.I think your Grandma got sold a load of bull. I can't see how they could trace her to someone who's line of descent is unclear to say the least. Scholars question not only exactly who king David was, but if he actually existed if I'm not mistaken. To be able to identify his DNA signature would seem a little far fetched. I think they just told your Grandma what they thought she would like to hear.

So they had some DNA from king David to compare? Or maybe even a blood relative of his, like Solomon? I don't get how that could have come up. I mean, knowing you're a Coen is one thing, but a descendant of David? Maybe just a little far-fetched. As for the relationship to Jesus, I'm sure that a lot of people are related to Jesus, because of the marriage policies traditionally practiced in judaism.

Yeah, well, I'm related to Patrick Henry. (Seriously)

The Irony:

There is none.

Hah!

The unthinkable happend when my grandma took a DNA root-tracing test.


What kind of helicopter flew in through the window?

My wife is Queen Elizabeth II's 9th cousin. (My wife is a Stuart)

well they found a grave site that held the remaines of some guy who was supposedly jesus's brother. wich is probly the closest thing they have come up with proving he was around.

No, that was a fake and was debunked some time ago. The box dates from the right time, but the various inscriptions were added over time, and date significantly later.

Elizabeth I was a Tudor.

It reminds me of when I was in the Tower of London, and I overheard this american guy telling his kids that the houses lining the inside were Elizabethan. I couldn't help it. I turned to him and said something to the effect of "Elizabeth Tudor? Wouldn't that make them Tudor houses?".

I should learn not to show guys up when they're talking bullshit, though. I shouldn't bother, really. It's not my job.

Crap. Anyway, it doesn't matter. I get mixed up this late at night.

Elizabeth I was a Tudor.

Yep. Elizabeth II, my wife's cousin, is a Windsor.

It reminds me of when I was in the Tower of London, and I overheard this american guy telling his kids that the houses lining the inside were Elizabethan. I couldn't help it. I turned to him and said something to the effect of "Elizabeth Tudor? Wouldn't that make them Tudor houses?".

Now that's just sad and alarming.

At Anthil we're not so much interested in our ancestry. What counts is what we make of the world at hand. Just an attitude ...

JC
anarchident

Keruvalia, excuse my midnight case of retardation. It's the middle of a graveyard shift, and half of my brain walks out on me sometime around 2 in the morning. It's just my brain's way of getting back at me for not drinking more coffee or paying attention to roman numerals following something.

Mea culpa.

Funny story, I used to know a guy in Elementary school who claimed he was Decended from the English Aristocracy from the house of Stuart just because his name was Stuart, his first name, no less.

As for me, one of my relitives was General Georgi Zukov, the great Soviet General from WWII. The catch? Im 85% Hungarian, the only country to try to Revolt against Soviet rule during the cold war.

Imagine that...


Actually thats the way Pretty much all names worked. In england, Either his ancestors allied with the house of stuart, or he was a member. It wasnt an unreasonable claim. Tho he probably didnt know it :D

Keruvalia, excuse my midnight case of retardation. It's the middle of a graveyard shift, and half of my brain walks out on me sometime around 2 in the morning. It's just my brain's way of getting back at me for not drinking more coffee or paying attention to roman numerals following something.

Mea culpa.

You should always - and I mean always - listen to your brain when it comes to coffee. :D

I figured you missed the numeral, but that story about "Elizabethan" and "Tudor" just drives me nuts. It's one thing for Americans to be ignorant at home, but I always feel that when we travel, we are supposed to be representatives of our nation and to show such blatant ignorance should be a reason to repeal one's passport.

You should always - and I mean always - listen to your brain when it comes to coffee. :D

I figured you missed the numeral, but that story about "Elizabethan" and "Tudor" just drives me nuts. It's one thing for Americans to be ignorant at home, but I always feel that when we travel, we are supposed to be representatives of our nation and to show such blatant ignorance should be a reason to repeal one's passport.

That story kind of illustrates the reason why we have a bad reputation in other countries, at least as tourists. They can usually hear us long before they see us coming, basically. It's that trail of bullshit nuggets we drop behind us, just in case we get lost.

My grandma on my dad's side took a DNA test to trace back her roots. Somehow modern science was able to pinpoint specific people in history, and as it turns out, we are related to King David who ruled over Israel during biblical times. I find this hilarious.


Technically, according to the bible, the Messiah (son of God) is a descendant of King David. If, in fact, that is true, I am related to Jesus.


the Irony: I am Jewish.

How is that irony? So was he.

*takes out a jar and some scissors*

mind if I cut off some of your hair? You know...for...*cough*ebay*cough* science!

Hmm....think you can get anything if you sell some of your hair on ebay? Or perhaps that isn't allowed...

Only by matrilineal descent: it can be argued that in later life he failed the other requirement for being Jewish - being accepted as such by the wider Jewish community...

Not by matrilineal descent at all, since Mary was an Aaronite... a Levite.

Furor, this was the mitocondrial test?

It had to have been mitochondrial, because otherwise any connection that far back would have been obscured by intervening men coming into the picture, as far as I understand it.

I lean more toward the belief that someone was conning his grandma.

I'm from the bloodline of Joseph/Ephraim. One of the 12 tribes of Isreal. I'm not Jewish i'm Hebrew, jewish means from Judah. But I'm a Latter Day Saint so its cool.

David had several wives and daughters. Solomon had hundreds of wives, and probably daughters in the low 1000s. There have to be a few matrilineal descendents kicking around, so it's hardly impossible. OTOH it could be a judeo-geneological scam/delusion on par with the cliche of reincarnationists who used to be Cleopatra or Neopolean.