NationStates Jolt Archive

Yeah, so I'm sick of running in the Special Olympics, so I thought I'd do a mindless thread of my own ...

How about some fun movie quotes? Could be serious, funny, sad, or whatever ... enjoy!

From Happy Gilmour:
Shooter: Just remember, I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Happy: Eww! You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Shooter: (pause) NO!

From Bladerunner:
Technician: You Nexus-6. I make you eyes.
Roy Batty: If only you could see what I've seen through your eyes.

From Cannibal the Musical

[Humphrey] Oh, Stop!
[Noon] That's sick.
[Frenchy] I agree. Nutter, you were singing in the wrong key!
[Nutter] No I wasn't. It was Loutzenheiser. I was singing in E flat minor.
[Frenchy] The song's in F sharp major!
[Bell] I think they're the same thing. I mean, E flat is the relative minor of F sharp.
[Frenchy] No, it isn't. The relative minor is 3 half-tones down from the major, not up!
[Noon] No, it's 3 down. Like A is the relative minor of C major.
[Loutzenheiser] But isn't A sharp in C major?
[Bell] Wait, are you singing Mixolydian scales, or something?
[Frenchy] A sharp is tonic to C major. It's the 6!
[Humphrey] No it isn't!
[Swan] Well, it'd be like a raised 13th if anything.

Bladerunner: I'm not in the business. I am the business.

Raizing Arizona: I'll be taking these here Huggies and whatever cash you have in that drawer.

Breakfast at Tiffany's: It should take you four seconds to get from here to that door. I'll give you two.

The Lion In Winter (best movie for quotes ever!): I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows. And Henry knows we know it. We're a knowledgeable family.

You're so deceitful you can't ask for water when you're thirsty. We could tangle spiders in the webs you weave.

Of course he has a knife. He always has a knife. We all have knives. It's 1183 and we're barbarians.

John--Poor John! Who says poor John? Don't everybody sob at once! My God, if I went up in flames there's not a living soul who'd pee on me to put the fire out!
Richard--Let's strike a flint and see.

I made Louis take me on Crusade. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn... but the troops were dazzled!

Eleanor--How dear of you to let me out of prison.
Henry--It's only for the holidays!

What family doesn't have its ups and downs?

Monty Python and the holy grail

Villager 2: She turned me into a newt!
Sir whatever: A newt?
Villager 2: Well I got better...


Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government


King Arthur: If you do not tell us where we may find a shrubber we will be forced to say....Ni.
Old hag: No!
King Arthur: Ni! Ni!
Sir whatever: Nu!
King Arthur: Ni-
Sir whatever: Nu
King Arthur: No, it's ni, n-ee
Sir whatever: Nuu..N-ee, NI
King Arthur and Sir whatever: Ni, Ni, Ni
Old hag: No stop!
Roger the Shrubber: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Um, yes.
Roger the Shrubber: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger the Shrubber: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

Bruce Campbell, Army of Darkness: "Groovy" and "Hail to the King, baby"

I love the one liners in this movie

Bruce Campbell, Army of Darkness: "Groovy" and "Hail to the King, baby"

I love the one liners in this movie
That movie's on right now on the Sci-Fi channel.

Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?

I'm going to have to make a note to watch Lion in Winter....

From a Pink Panther movie, I don't remember which one or how to spell Seller's character's name....

Cluso(sp): Does your dog bite?
Man: No.
(reaches down to pet dog who bites)
Cluso(sp): I thought you said your dog did not bite!
Man: That is not my dog.

I never can remember movie quotes really...

Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?


That movie has so many great quotes.

Donnie: Why are you wearing thsat stupid bunny suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

"I'll tell you what he said. He asked me to forcibly insert the Life Line exercise card into my anus!"

Donnie: You are such a fuckass.
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a fuckass? You can go suck a fuck.
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?
Samantha: What's a fuckass?

More Cannibal quotes

Bell: Anyone who can't get along with the others has to sit twenty feet away by themselves for an hour.
Swan: That's a good idea. It gives you a chance to cool down when things get steamed up.
Bell: Exactly.
Miller: You've gotta be kidding me.

Bell: Now, listen, we've got a long journey ahead of us. It's important that we all get along. Now, you're hurting people's feelings. You're gonna have to find a more constructive way to express your anger.
Miller: Okay, well fuck you! How's that for constructive?
Bell: That's great. Now go to time out mister.
Swan: We warned you.

Humphrey: Oh gosh, I never thought I'd be sleeping next to a naked man on this trip.
Noon: Just do what I'm doing. Just pretend like you're laying next to a nice soft woman.
Miller: What?!
Noon: I'm just imagining old Mr. Miller here as a nice tall blonde.
Miller: Aww, goddammit! I want a different partner!

Cyclops: Are you lookin' at my eye?!!!
Miners: Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Cyclops: Are you lookin' at my eye?!!!
Miners: No. No. No. Not at all.
Cyclops: A union army soldier did this to me in the big one. Any of you boys fight for the union army?
Miller: Shucks no!
Bell: Shucky dang darn!
Cyclops: So, you the boys been killin' all my sheepies with those traps.
Noon: Nawww! We just now gots here!
Cyclops: Where you from?
Humphrey: Nashville!
Cyclops: Damn, it's good to see some southern boys. It's been a long time. Well, I wish I were in the land of cotton. Old times there are not forgotten. Look away! Look away! Look away!
[Everyone bobs their head to the beat.]
Humphrey: Ya stupid yank!
Cyclops: You ain't southern boys!
Miners: Ahhhhhhhh!!!

Polly Pry: You made it to Wyoming, right?
Packer: Yeah, but I would've been better off just letting those people catch me and kill me.
Polly Pry: Why?
Packer: You ever been to Wyoming?
[Cuts to scene of Packer in the middle of nowhere.] Uhhh...hello?!
Polly Pry: Oh God, it sounds horrible!

I'm going to have to make a note to watch Lion in Winter....


Definitely do! But remember to get the 1968 one with Katharine Hepburn as Eleanor of Aquitane and Peter O'Toole as Henry II, not the recent Showtime crapfest with Glenn Close and Patrick Stewart. They sacrificed all the humor of the original for ponderous drama.

Some other good ones:

Clue:

Wadsworth: But he was your second husband. Your first husband also disappeared.
White: But that was his job. He was an illusionist.
Wadsworth: But he never reappeared.
White: He wasn't a very good illusionist.

Mrs. White: It's a matter of life after death, now that he's dead I have a life.



Annie Hall: Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

Duck Soup: I've got a good mind to join a club...and beat you over the head with it.


Addams Family Values:
Little Girl: ...and then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and put the diamond in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby too.
Wednesday: They had sex.

Airplane: Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?

Dr. Strangelove: Gentleman, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room!

"There is no spoon"

The one I find myself instinctively saying all the time is:

"Knives and stabbing weapons!"

I do find that 75% of people's reactions are a steady retreat. Oh well, its in my head and I can't get it out. For those few who don't know that was Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator describing the T-1000's killing abilities to John Conner in Terminator 2!

Definitely do! But remember to get the 1968 one with Katharine Hepburn as Eleanor of Aquitane and Peter O'Toole as Henry II, not the recent Showtime crapfest with Glenn Close and Patrick Stewart. They sacrificed all the humor of the original for ponderous drama.


well, Peter O'Toole cinches it. I recently finally got to see Stunt Man he was of course the best part. Hell, I even liked him in the Steve Gutenberg movie. (something about ghosts)

"I call upon all nations to help stop terror. Now watch this drive."

Naked Gun 2 1/2

This isn't an exact quote but the line is similar and it made me chuckle:

Frank: "...That's the red light district. I wonder what Savage is doing hanging out down there?"

Ed: "Sex Frank?"

Frank: "Er no not right now Ed. We've got work to do."

Ah, the classics:

"Watch the tongue sweetheart, I've seen him lick his eyebrow clean."

Ah, the classics:

"Watch the tongue sweetheart, I've seen him lick his eyebrow clean."
I’ve heard that before, but I can’t remember what it’s from.

I don't know why but I like this quote:

Hermione: Now, I'm going to bed before you two get me killed...or worse-expelled. (She leaves)
Ron (to Harry): She has GOT to get her priorities straight.

Terminator "I'll be back" The Terminator

ALIENS "Get away from her you BITCH!" Ellen Ripley

M*A*S*H "I'm Doctor Jekly and this is my friend Mr. Hyde." Hawkeye

Predator "You one ugly mutha-f*cker." Dutch

2001: A Space Oddessy; "Open the pod bay doors, Hal."

Blazing Saddles; "Excuse me, while I whip this out."

American Beauty; "Yes, that's me masturbating in the shower. And from there it just goes downhill."

Monty Python and the holy grail

Villager 2: She turned me into a newt!
Sir whatever: A newt?
Villager 2: Well I got better...


Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government


King Arthur: If you do not tell us where we may find a shrubber we will be forced to say....Ni.
Old hag: No!
King Arthur: Ni! Ni!
Sir whatever: Nu!
King Arthur: Ni-
Sir whatever: Nu
King Arthur: No, it's ni, n-ee
Sir whatever: Nuu..N-ee, NI
King Arthur and Sir whatever: Ni, Ni, Ni
Old hag: No stop!
Roger the Shrubber: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Um, yes.
Roger the Shrubber: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger the Shrubber: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.

That would be Sir Bedevere (sp?). Wow, I'm sad, aren't I?

Also,

Black Knight: 'Ts just a flesh wound!

Herbert: You got my note!
Sir Lancelot: Well, I got A note.

Continous gag: I'm not, quite dead!

Finding Nemo...
Dory: No really! Short term memory loss runs in my family! At least, I think it does...Where are they?...........Can I help you?

Dory: I wish I could speak whale.

Mummy Returns
O'Connel: Hunny, what are you doing? These people don't use doors!

oh blazing saddles kicked ass


Bart: (disbelieving) The Waco Kid. He had the fastest hand in the West.
The Waco Kid: In the world.
Bart: Well, if you're the Kid, then show me something.
The Waco Kid: Well, maybe a couple of years ago, I could have shown you something, but today, look at that. (He holds up his right hand - and it is steady without shaking)
Bart: Steady as a rock.
The Waco Kid: Yeah, but I shoot with this hand. (His left hand shakes wildly)

All right, I'll throw in my two cents:

[B]Dennis the Menace[B]
Margaret: Don't call me stupid, baby rump kisser!

[B]Mortal Kombat[B]
Johnny Cage: Thank God I didn't ask him to park the car.

[B]A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors[B]
Freddy: "I said, where's the f*****' bourbon?"

Freddy: "This is it Jennifer, your big break in TV! Welcome to Prime Time, b****!"

Kinkaid: "F*** YOU! YOU SIT DOWN!"

From Kentucky Fried Movie:

Questioner: I'm asleep and you're my alarm clock. How would you wake me up?
Long Wang: I wouldn't. I'm no ding-a-ling.

:D

JULES
There's a passage I got memorized,
seems appropriate for this
situation: Ezekiel 25:17. "The path
of the righteous man is beset on
all sides by the inequities of the
selfish and the tyranny of evil
men. Blessed is he who, in the
name of charity and good will,
shepherds the weak through the
valley of darkness, for he is truly
his brother's keeper and the finder
of lost children. And I will
strike down upon thee with great
vengeance and furious anger those
who attempt to poison and destroy
my brothers. And you will know my
name is the Lord when I lay my
vengeance upon you."

Samuel L. Jackson - Pulp Fiction

I know we've already had a couple of Blade Runner quotes, but here's my pick:

"Wake up: Time to die" Also the title of a tune by PWEI

and, from the intro

Deckhart: "Tell me, in simple words, only the good things you remember about your mother"
Replicant (Boris, I think): "My mother? I'll tell you about my mother ... BLAM! ... BLAM! ... BLAM!"


From "Not Another Teen Movie":

"'night Daddy!"
"Night-night pumpkin-tits"

From "Dangerous Liasons":

John Malkovich *angry* (to Glenn Close): "So, shall we go through, or would you prefer to do it on this (if memory serves) rather purgatorial couch?"

From "Withnail and I":

"Here hare here"

and

"I demand to have more booze!"

and

"toilet cleaner! Even the wankers on the street wont drink that!" (at least, I think it's toilet cleaner)

ALIENS:
"I say we take off and nuke the whole sight from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

PREDATOR:
"If it bleeds, we can kill it."

DOG SOLDIERS:
"There is no spoon" (When a guy called Spoon gets killed)
"Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough!"

WARGAMES:
"Strange game. The only way to win is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?"

RED OCTOBER:
"Brian, be careful what you shoot at. Some of the things in here don't react well to bullets." (In the nuclear missile compartment)

CRIMSON TIDE:
"God help you if you're wrong."
"If I'm wrong and we're at war, God help us all."

Hunt for Red October
<connery> Before we sailed i dispatched a letter to admiral bidorin... in which i announced our intention to defect (whilst eating salad in a "russian accent")

True Lies
<the van man (cant remember his name)>
Get lost dip sh1t (shoots the ground at persons feet)

Under Seige 2
<Segal after killing the big baddy boss thing in the gally of a train)
Nobody Beats me in the kitchen

Down Periscope
(i have too many to put in here and i dont have a favorate so here is a random one)
<admiral winslow>
OH DONT GIVE ME THAT! DAMN IT TO HELL DONT GO BY THE BOOK! THINK LIKE A PIRATE I WANT A MAN WITH A TATTOO ON HIS DICK... HAVE I GOT THE RIGHT MAN?
<grammer> By some strange coincidence you do sir.

Any other movies i bet i know a quote from it and if i dont then i can find it out from a very good site of mine.

From Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

"We had gone in search of the american dream, it had been a lame fuck around, a waste of time, there was no turning back, fuck no not today thank you kindly, my heart was filled with joy"

"We cant stop here, it's bat country"

Tut no ones mentioned Full Metal Jacket yet:

Sgt. Hartman: Do you suck dicks?
Private Pyle: Sir, No, Sir.
Sgt. Hartman: Bullshit. I bet you could suck a golfball through a garden hose. suck a golfball through a garden hose"

Sgt. Hartman: How tall are you, private?
"Cowboy": Sir, five foot, nine, sir!
Sgt. Hartman: Five foot, nine, I didn't know they stacked sh** that high.

Sgt Hartman: Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
Cowboy: Sir, Texas, sir!
Sgt Hartman: Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down!

Spaceballs:

Dark helmut: Careful you fool! I said across her nose, not up it!
Gunner (lifts helmut to show he's cross-eyed): Sorry, sir. Doing my best!
Dark Helmut (to Col. Sanders): Who made that man a gunner?
Officer: I did, sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmut (to Col. Sanders): Who's he?
Col. Sanders: He's an asshole, sir.
Dark Helmut: I know that...what's his name?
Col. Sanders: That is his name, sir. Asshole...Major Asshole
Dark Helmut: And his cousin?
Col. Sanders: He's an asshole too, sir. Gunner's Mate First Class Phillip Asshole.
Dark Helmut: How many Assholes we got on this ship anyways?
(More than half the crew raise their hand)
All: Yo!
Dark Helmut: I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes......keep firing assholes!

I have two good ones in my sig.

Deliverence:

Mountain Man #1:Now how about you just drop them pants?
Bobby: Drop?
Mountain Man #1:Take em right off!
Mountain Man #2: Don't say nothing, just do it!

Mountain Man #1:Looks like we gots a sow here instead of a boar. I bet you can squeel! Now squeel, weeeeee
Bobby:weeeeee
Mountain Man #1:louder, weeeeeeee
Bobby:weeeeeeeeeeeee, ungh ungh

Last Tango In Paris:

"Get me the butter!:

I’ve heard that before, but I can’t remember what it’s from.
I wish I could be certain but I cannot, but my failable memory places it to Mad Max. The scene who Toecutter's gang come's across Max's wife and son eating ice cream while Max is getting the tire repaired, and one of the gang goes to lick Max's wife's ice cream cone.

Transformers the Movie

Optimus Prime : One shall Stand One shall fall

Braveheart

William Wallace : Sons of Scotland, I am William Wallace. You are gathered here today in the defiance of tyranny. Will you fight?

Some Scottish Warrior: You can't be William Wallace. William Wallace is 10 feet tall.

William Wallace : Aye, I heard, killed men by the hundreds. And if he were here, he'll consume the englishmen with fires from his eyes, and bolts of lightning from his Arse. I AM William Wallace.