NationStates Jolt Archive


Guess who's back ... back again ...

Keruvalia
28-07-2004, 22:06
Disclaimer: http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.htm
Reprinted because I found it damn funny.

NO NEWS STORY CAN EVER TOP THIS ONE:

Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture

by Elroy Willis
ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she believed was Jesus.

"She started screaming `He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said.

She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated up into the sky.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by him.

"I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower said when asked why his wife would do such a thing.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied, "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen
Suicidal Librarians
28-07-2004, 22:08
I nominate that for the Darwin Awards.
Opal Isle
28-07-2004, 22:09
Disclaimer: http://www.snopes.com/religion/rapture.htm
Reprinted because I found it damn funny.

NO NEWS STORY CAN EVER TOP THIS ONE:

Arkansas Woman Killed in Mistaken Rapture

by Elroy Willis
ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman, who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she believed was Jesus.

"She started screaming `He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said.

She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene. Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was on his way to a toga costume party, when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated up into the sky.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration and said "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by him.

"I think my wife loved Jesus more than she loved me," the widower said when asked why his wife would do such a thing.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied, "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen


Funny. Fort Smith is quite a ways from Little Rock, and I'm not sure how dead people were interviewed...funny though...
Erastide
28-07-2004, 22:10
LOL... I second that nomination.

Twelve blowup sex dolls ascending to heaven. hahahahaahaha
:D
Amerigo
28-07-2004, 22:10
OMG... This article story is truly teh ultimate pwn.
Blacklake
28-07-2004, 22:11
I wish I looked like Jesus. Then I could change my name to "Jesus Christ." Then my ID would say that I was Jesus.

Then, I could bend people to my will.
Colodia
28-07-2004, 22:11
I nominate that for the Darwin Awards.
XD

hear hear!

Even though she seemed like a nice lady, she kinda did it to herself.
Katganistan
28-07-2004, 22:15
Claim: A woman dies leaping through her car's sunroof when events convince her that Jesus has returned.

Status: False.


;) For those of you who couldn't be bothered to read the link...
Keruvalia
28-07-2004, 22:19
Claim: A woman dies leaping through her car's sunroof when events convince her that Jesus has returned.

Status: False.


;) For those of you who couldn't be bothered to read the link...


Well, usually when one sees "Snopes" in the link ... one can assume. :)

It's why I provided the link. The story is, however, absolutely hilarious and not one bit of it would surprise me.

They call them Jesus "freaks" for a reason.

Freak :
1 A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular: A freak of nature produced the midsummer snow.
2 An abnormally formed organism, especially a person or animal regarded as a curiosity or monstrosity.
3 A sudden capricious turn of mind; a whim: “The freaks of the psyche can no more be explained than the Devil” (Maurice Collis).

The rest is slang.
Letila
28-07-2004, 22:27
I'm surprised it isn't true. On the other hand, that's probably a good thing.
Amerigo
28-07-2004, 22:36
Claim: A woman dies leaping through her car's sunroof when events convince her that Jesus has returned.

Status: False.


;) For those of you who couldn't be bothered to read the link...
Notice I said "article story"

Many people believe many over-the-top unreal things.
Suicidal Librarians
28-07-2004, 22:40
Claim: A woman dies leaping through her car's sunroof when events convince her that Jesus has returned.

Status: False.


;) For those of you who couldn't be bothered to read the link...

Right, didn't see that.