NationStates Jolt Archive

What do you think about cheating on their lovers in hotels :fluffle:

It's ok as long as you don't get caught my your wife :p



JK :mad:

I see it as sad, unfortinate and wrong, but I would say those that cheat have a psycological problem, in the sense they have obviously commitment issues and possibly, a egotistcal problem. Meaning a cheater feels as he or she can do anything they want and it creates a power trip for them.

I see it as sad, unfortinate and wrong, but I would say those that cheat have a psycological problem, in the sense they have obviously commitment issues and possibly, a egotistcal problem. Meaning a cheater feels as he or she can do anything they want and it creates a power trip for them.

Do you have evidence of this? Didn't think so. How could you? It's total bull after all. How about people cheating simply because they love two people, and circumstances, like being seperated from one, lead to cheating without ever wanting it? It's like accidents, they happen.

It's like accidents, they happen.

Do you have evidence of this? Didn't think so. How could you? It's total bull after all.

Now, more seriously...

I can controll my sexual needs good enough to be able to think "do I want to have sex with this person?" before I have sex. Accidents allready happened before i could answer that question. Or even before I had time to ask it to myself.

About the topic...

If a couple are a couple the general assumtion is that you shouldn't have more then one relation, sexual or emotional(can't stop you from loving a second person, but shouldn't act on it). If you have agreed on some other rules, then it's fine as long as you respect them and are thoughtfull about your partners feelings.

But if you don't, you are not treating your partner with the respect he/she deserves and you or your partner should prolly break up the relationship before you hurt eachother.

However, if one is cheating in a couple, the otherone knows it and he/she doesn't wanna end it, well, then it's his/her problem and I shouldn't marsch in and tell him/her what to do. But if my opinion was wanted, this is what I would say.

It's one of the worst things that a person can do.

It's sick, digusting, and should never be tolerated.

Do you have evidence of this? Didn't think so. How could you? It's total bull after all.

Now, more seriously...

I can controll my sexual needs good enough to be able to think "do I want to have sex with this person?" before I have sex. Accidents allready happened before i could answer that question. Or even before I had time to ask it to myself.

- we are not machines

- human failure makes that at times we lose our self-control

- this can result in cheating without ever having desired to cheat on the one you're having a relation with

It can happen to anyone, someone a person wants it so desperatly that they'll just do it, even if they know its wrong. It might one day happen to me/you.
Best thing is to find out why someone would do this and do something about it. Prevent it from happening again.

Do you have evidence of this? Didn't think so. How could you? It's total bull after all. How about people cheating simply because they love two people, and circumstances, like being seperated from one, lead to cheating without ever wanting it? It's like accidents, they happen.

Oh you have GOT to be kidding...cheating is like an accident..it just happens?...ROFLMAO!!..what..no sense of personal respnosibility here?...are we animals that can not control our lusts?...If your first relationship is in trouble, you either (a) get counseling in the hope of saving it, if that is your wish or (b) get a divorce or end the relationship.but you don't cheat..it is a dishonorable thing...and totally cruel to the other party should they find out.

Really if you can't keep this from happening you need to either bound and gag your self or just face it, you can't get none :p

What do you think about cheating on their lovers in hotels :fluffle:


Meh .... I figure it's none of my business.

i personally believe cheating is unacceptable. i usually have open relationships, so if my lover expressed interest in having sex with somebody else then i would be more than willing to let them do so (provided the person wasn't totally assinine or dirty). however, cheating is more about the betrayal of trust to me than the sex...if my partner were lying to me or sneaking around with somebody else then THAT is what i would be pissed about.

however, anybody who continues dating or stays married to somebody who cheated on them gets zero sympathy from me. if cheating is tolerated then it will continue to exist, and then the person being cheated on has made their own bed (forgive the image).

Oh you have GOT to be kidding...cheating is like an accident..it just happens?...ROFLMAO!!

I didn't say "it just happens". I said "it happens". Slight variation, but one that carries quite a different tone. And yes, cheating happens in the same way that life happens. One circumstance simply leading to the next. Sometimes circumstances that are in our favour and something circumstances that we want to escape from asap.

..what..no sense of personal respnosibility here?

I never said that. Please refrain from corrupting my words.

...are we animals that can not control our lusts?

I never said that either.

What I did say is that we are beings who are very capable of losing self-control.

BTW You are not so naive as to think that cheating only happens because of lust, right? I mean, you only mention lust, not love, implying that to you cheating is simply done to get laid.


...If your first relationship is in trouble, you either (a) get counseling in the hope of saving it, if that is your wish or (b) get a divorce or end the relationship.

It is possible to be drawn to cheating, no matter how much you wish to resist the temptation, for other reasons then your relationship being in a crisis.

Example: Your wife is invalid thanks to an accident. You love her to pieces but you can't have a sex-life thanks to her condition. Next you meet a woman at work who you are sexually drawn to. Now you have a choice: you either resist temptation, accept that celibacy is what fate has in store for you, or tell your wife you want to take a lover because your forced celibacy is killing you, knowing it would hurt her and you at the same time, or cheat on her with the hope she'll never finds out. Basically a no win situation.

but you don't cheat..it is a dishonorable thing...and totally cruel to the other party should they find out.

I agree. But don't forget that it is easy to know what "doing the right thing" would be under those circumstances and another to do it. I can easily imagine people lacking the courage, strength of character that it takes to always do right. Ordinary people like you and me, and it would be easy to judge them, but I would wait to see what I would do under the same circumstances.

I'm sorry...that is just psycho-babble horseshit...no...of course cheating happens for love as well as lust..but that is what I mean...either heal your first relationship or get out of it...it's simple black and white...we are not slaves to our emotions, or hearts, or our genitalia...it's called "personal responsibility", and ohh..here another word..."integrity"..you know what integrity is...it's doing what you are supposed to be doing when no one else is watching...and then there is the whole..."honor you spouse" thing..

I'm sorry..what you are doing is attempting to rationalize it...there simply can be no rationalization for it...

As for your example of the invalid spouse..if what you have is truly love, then sex won't be an issue...so the other woman gives you the hots...but that doesn't mean you fall, it's called choice...I've met a more then a few ladies that give me the hots..but I am not an animal...and can therefore say.."Yes..I can see you're attractive..but I'm just not going to cheat"

I'd break up with someone before I cheated on them. Unfortunately, that cannot be said for some of my ex's. As soon as I knew, though, it was splitsville.

If you want to cheat, it means that you don't respect or care for the person you're with. There's something missing from the relationship, something crucial. It's better to either try to find what it is and fix it, if that's possible, or break up, if it's not.