States treating their cows
Texans:
You have two cows. You shoot them both and eat steak that night
New York:
You have two cows. You wonder how in the hell you have cows in the middle of New York.
Maryland:
You have one cow. The government arrests you for suspicious acts.
California:
Usted tiene dos vacas. Su gobernador LOS TERMINA.
(You have two cows. Your Governor TERMINATES them.)
Alaska:
You have two cows. The next day, you have two 500 lb. popsicles
My sense of humor needs a good stretch, haven't been with friends for 4 weeks now...
Greater Duestchland
27-07-2004, 20:05
permission to ask:what the hell are you talking about? care to explain those jokes man? lol.
I concur...that sounds like something from SSA...
oh, this wasnt supposed to be bumped.
It's an inside joke for those who were here 4 1/2 hours ago
Brytish Empire
28-07-2004, 00:39
THE "TWO-COW EXPLANATION" OF WHAT MAKES...
A SOCIALIST:
You have two cows. Your neighbour has none. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN:
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A FASCIST:
You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
AMERICAN STYLE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a third world country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
AMERICAN STYLE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
AMERICAN STYLE BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You genetically engineer them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You selectivly breed them to create a super-race of cows, but unfortunatly they go on a rampage through Poland, then get blown to smithereens.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A MEXICAN CORPORATION:
You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them
I've seen loads of these types of jokes before. Not particularly funny once you've seen them already but not bad for a laugh.
Chess Squares
28-07-2004, 00:40
fucking hilarious parody on the two cows crap
Alabama:
You have two cows. The government sends them to Mississippi.
Unfree People
28-07-2004, 00:59
oh, this wasnt supposed to be bumped.
It's an inside joke for those who were here 4 1/2 hours ago
Some of us have no lives and are still around.
New Mexico: you have two cows, care for them, raise them, love them. Then the Texans come in and slaughter them for their steak.
Opal Isle
28-07-2004, 01:02
Arkansas: You have two cows--brother and sister. In a few years, you have a large herd of cows with birth defects...
Opal Isle
28-07-2004, 01:03
<-- I on the other hand have CyberSheep.
Four Fiends
28-07-2004, 01:03
West Virginia: You have two cows. You are a small farmer and you will show your cows in a fair. :)
haha it is not a joke it is just true FYI :cool: