NationStates Jolt Archive

Okay, Here's my theory. Criminals have guns. The Military have guns. Terrorists have guns. Or rocket launchers, or explosive vests, or helicopter gunships. You know, whatever is on sale at the time. Because of these reasons, we need guns too.

In fact, as near as I can tell, the whole reason why people have guns is because other people have guns.

So I propose that I change every weapon more complex than a baseball bat or crow bar into a tasty cinnamon bun.

This will accomplish three things: First, it'll end war. Second, it'll set most of the world's major religions on their collective ear, thus taking away one of the primary reasons for killing people; because God said to. THird, it will provide lots of yummy treats, thus taking people's minds off the fact that they have no guns or bombs.

Now, there are a few details to work out. For instance, how am I going to become omnipotent so I can do this? SOme plans take time to work all the bugs out, you know?

Makes me want to go out and stock up on guns.

If you did it, I'd buy you a soda, then give you a great big hug.

To help you become omnipotent, you can start by reading all the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and other magic books. Maybe one of the many spells or potions will work.

Makes me want to go out and stock up on guns.

Just move to Montana. The militias up there will have more buns than they'll know what to do with. ;)

Can't it be the other way around? I mean, you should understand LG.... guns are just more fun than cinnamon buns! ;)

Can't it be the other way around? I mean, you should understand LG.... guns are just more fun than cinnamon buns! ;)

I've been smacked in the back of the head with the blunt end of both of them. I like the buns better. :)

But I need my M-16 to hunt deer! And deer arn't as impressed with cinnamin buns as you'd think.

But I need my M-16 to hunt deer! And deer arn't as impressed with cinnamin buns as you'd think.

You can still use your pick-up to hunt in. ;)

Do we still have missiles, tanks, airplanes, and 'superweapons'?

Do we still have missiles, tanks, airplanes, and 'superweapons'?

Nope. Just Great big yummy cinnamon buns. :D

We need to team up here LG--have you ever heard of my pot and Papa Johns plan for world peace?

You can still use your pick-up to hunt in. ;) He'd smash the hell out of the front of that truck, ruining any fun that the bun would have given him.

I've been smacked in the back of the head with the blunt end of both of them. I like the buns better. :)

Lol, well that's just because you're always on the recieving end. For someone without your astounding ability to piss random people, and friends off, there's nothing sweeter than the crunch of a nicely aimed....well...err, I think it's time for me to go and take my pills again.

Nope. Just Great big yummy cinnamon buns. :D

But I want the illagitament Nuclear Weapons I've hidden in my basement! I need them for self defense!

We need to team up here LG--have you ever heard of my pot and Papa Johns plan for world peace?

No, but sounds intriguing. :)

It's quite simple and yet quite ingenious. Let me lay it out for you.

Have you ever known a violent pothead? Of course not. They just want to giggle and eat pizza and twinkies. So we have one squadron of cargo planes on round the clock watch for places where large scale violence is expected, and when it happens, the squadron drops burning bales of sticky all through the affected area. After about 20 minutes, a second squadron of cargo planes airlifts papa Johns pizza and Twinkies and drops them into the affected area. The people are so stoned and gorged on carbs that they take a long nap and forget what they were pissed about. You like?

It's quite simple and yet quite ingenious. Let me lay it out for you.

Have you ever known a violent pothead? Of course not. They just want to giggle and eat pizza and twinkies. So we have one squadron of cargo planes on round the clock watch for places where large scale violence is expected, and when it happens, the squadron drops burning bales of sticky all through the affected area. After about 20 minutes, a second squadron of cargo planes airlifts papa Johns pizza and Twinkies and drops them into the affected area. The people are so stoned and gorged on carbs that they take a long nap and forget what they were pissed about. You like?

Chemical Anti-warfare. I like. :D

The guns to buns theory, though interesting and heartfelt, would, unfortunately, solve nothing. People would just wait several days for their tastie buns to become stale and solid. Then the violence would continue. If some of you don't believe a stale bun could inflict an injury, then you haven't accidentally left a CinnaBon in your car for three days. Can you say "hockey puck"?