NationStates Jolt Archive

Don't know if this was posted. But I found some of the comments funny. Especially the Gollum comment! ;)


Top Forty-Six Reasons Star Wars beats Lord of the Rings

46. Dangling participles are easier to understand than mismanaging pronounds and plurals.
by Chris Hanel, Purchaser of New Keyboards

45. In Star Wars, the short guy kicks ass. In LotR, the short guy needs a box.
by LukeHamill

44. It has a Christmas special!
by JerseyPhoenix

43. Unlike Gandalf, Obi-Wan does more than make rooms brighter
by Skychrono

42. The force is the ultimate power, while the ring does little more than compliment a fancy outfit.
by Skychrono

41. Star Wars: Chicks with blasters. LOTR: Chicks with swords. Who'd win at ten paces?
by Wilhelmina

40. It takes half as much time to type "SW" than it takes to type "LOTR".
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

39. George has better fashion sense than PJ. Mmm, flannel.
by Wilhelmina

38. In Star Wars, Christopher Lee was beaten by an ass-kicking Jedi named Yoda. In LOTR, he was beaten by a slow-moving tree named.... oh, who cares what his name was. HE WAS A TREE, for crying out loud!!
by Blow-Mi-One Cannoli

37. we tells jar-jar to go away, and away he goes! free! free! star wars is free!
by rufus333

36. Cut off Sauron's hand, he goes home and spends thousands of years convalescing. Cut off Ani's hand, he becomes a powerful Sith. Cut off his hand AGAIN, he single-handedly (ha!) defeats the Emperor.
by Wilhelmina

35. because lucas's filmic vision is an original construct, while jackson's is mere adaptation
by jung lah

34. Three words: Slave Girl Outfit
by JediPat

33. Crap Gollum's grammar is
by Tara Wan Kenobi

32. Star Wars' cuddly character - Chewbacca. Lord of the rings cuddly character - Sean Astin. I think chewie wins....
by Tara Wan Kenobi

31. Luke's second cousin, twice removed (on his mothers side) didn't tag along and almost get every one killed
by Tara Wan Kenobi

30. In LOTR, short guys with pointy ears run away like pansies at the sight of danger. In Star Wars, short guys with pointy ears KICK ASS!!!!
by Foxbatkllr

29. Ewan McGregor has such a pretty singing voice
by Bob Fett

28. There were no AT-AT's at Helm's Deep, were there? Hmmm?
by Yoda Soup

27. SW is better cause of the short guys... Frodo- disappears with Ring. R2- dispenses beer. Which do you choose?
by Grand Admiral Jaxx

26. www.fanfilms.net listings: Star Wars fan films-76. Lord of the Rings fan films-1.
by Zarm R'keeg

25. Saruman sends out Orcs to do his bidding. Vader kills enemies personally.
by Cirrocco

24. With the exception of Peter Jackson, SW fans on average outweigh LOTR fans by a good 35-40 lbs. Plus the well-financed ones have access to British sub-machine guns. In other words, because we SAY so.
by Lighthammer72

23. LOTR has a couple o' lousy towers. We have the DEATH STAR!!!
by Jar-Jar and the Cliff

22. Mara Jade lap dance.
by Grand Admiral Gary

21. natalie portman's abs
by iLOVEabs!

20. A sword can't melt through a blast door, much less the gate to the Mines of Moria.
by Sithwitch13

19. You've got Orks, we've got Porkins.
by RU ARTOO?

18. Thrill as an old man tries to figure out how to open an old door!
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

17. Tatoos consist of more then a white hand slapped in the face.
by Emperoress Palpatine

16. Officer: Lord Vader we have reached an unknown planet in the uncharted regions of space. It is supposedly refered to as Middle Earth. Vader:Sounds boring. Blow it up.
by Darth fipland

15. The Star Wars cast list is more diverse. LOTR is whiter than Tren Lott's Christmas party.
by Deus1138

14. Hrmph. I did not see a SINGLE half-naked elf dancer ANYWHERE in Rivendell...
by attackrat

13. Star Wars wins this one on the merchandising front: I have a Luke with removable hand, but no Legolas with removable clothes.
by Stavromula Beta

12.Obi-wan would have sensed the destruction of Moria. " . . . as if a thousand dwarves cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."
by Gigi

11. LOTR: Bill. SW: The Millenium Falcon. No contest.
by Shadowen

10. At least Star Wars has an actual villain, not some stupid burning eye sitting on top of a tower.
by Jacenmaz

9. "Is that an evil, posessed ring in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me," simply does NOT work
by Yoda Soup

8. Luke would want to try and find the good in Saruman.
by Daniel Glasglow

7. How is Frodo going to get Luke? Jump up punch him in the knee?
by Randall Flagg

6. When Luke left home, he got over it.
by Daniel Glasglow

5. The relevent backstory can be told in a 30-second scroll, not a 900-page novel.
by wisefool

4. Warwick Davis doesn't NEED post-production "shortening"!
by Chris Knight

3. Instead of the movies deviating from the books, the books deviate from the movies.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

2. Obi-wan's hair still looks soft and managable even after fighting on every planet this side of the Kessel Run. Aragorn's? Ha!
by Janson's Funny Twin

1. Taun We is hot. Yeah, you heard me.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards



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Top Forty-Six Reasons Lord of the Rings beats Star Wars

46. LOTR: No love triangles involving a brother and sister.
by Jeremy Ron

45. You didn't hear rumours of N'Sync doing a cameo in LOTR now did you?
by Ihateboybandsbytheway

44. "i truely, deeply love you" - at least lotr doesn't have such corny dialogue
by beck martin

43. LOTR did the entire, "Crazy wizard gives young and unskilled boy a powerful item and dies to save young boy" thing first.
by Jared 'Ewokspy' Streger

42. LotR - Whinny Character dies in the first movie.
by Emperoress Palpatine

41. Where else do you find a second breakfast?
by Darth fipland

40. LOTR better then SW: Our troops are home grown.
by Chad Evans

39. You can get more beer in Middle-Earth
by Travis

38. cave troll versus rancor......cave troll
by J. Wright

37. Uruk-hai, unlike stormtroopers, can fight.
by Darth Morgoth

36. In LOTR the comic relief (ie Gimli, Pipin & Merry) actually speak proper English
by the pen is mightier than the lightsaber

35. Sorry Yoda, but nobody screams old-man sexy like Ian McKellan
by attackrat

34. LOTR is on DVD.
by Rin, Destroyer of Keyboards

33. Liv Tyler, Miranda Otto, and Cate Blanchett. Let's hear it for options!
by Stormcrow

32. LOTR made three movies at once. George, are you taking notes on this?
by Sarumannequin

31. LotR is waaaaayyy better. I'd like to see Obi do the pointy hat trick. Hah!
by Wenelda

30. LOTR is better because Elrond is not actually Sauron in disquise.
by Methehand

29. Arwen can kick butt in a skirt and sixteen crinolines. Unlike Amidala, who must strip to leggings and a midriff-baring shirt.
by Dru

28. $325,736,000
by SirNi

27. LOTR is better than SW because...Gollum doesn't sound like Grover
by Warren

26. Gandalf's friend and ally who owed him a life debt was Gwahir Windlord, the noble king of the giant eagles. Qui Gon had Jar Jar.
by Thorongil

25. LOTR: Because even the dumbest creatures in LOTR would be smart enough to know that making Jar Jar a senator is a bad idea
by Chuck Song

24. The White Council in LORT included Galadriel, who was youthful and divinely beautiful despite being over 4000 years old. Yoda of the Jedi Council looked like hell after a mere 900.
by Farbourne

23. Chicks will actually go with you to a LOTR movie.
by SirNi

22. LOTR is better than SW because the furry movie characters never launch into song
by Clairice

21. Merry and Pippin are slightly less annoying than C3PO and R2D2. Slightly.
by Ryan

20. Frodo doesn't have some sort of twisted "I don't like sand" thing for Sam
by Alex

19. Pete can't tease us with the promise of a new episode for 25 years and then make up something as lame as midichlorians.
by detante

18. It's more satisfying to see an Orc get beheaded then a Stormtrooper fall down.
by Tim D.

17. In Star Wars, the tunnel walls on Geonosis came to life and mounted an ultimately futile attack. In TTT, the forrest came to life and kicked the crap out of Saruman.
by SirNi

16. Elves don't seem to know about bras. Nuff said.
by RichardB

15. Although an Oliphaunt and an AT-AT are about even when it comes to destructive power, an Oliphaunt from LOTR isn't stupid enough to keep walking after its legs are tied up!
by Draug

14. Fashionable mullet hobbit hair.
by

13. Star wars--lightsabers that burn a wound closed after striking an opponent so there is no bleeding, LOTR--has REAL swords that cause buckets 'o blood to shoot across the room!
by Draug

12. Han Solo is a filthy rogue who turns out to be, er, a slightly cleaner rogue, while in LOTR Strider, the filthy rogue, becomes Aragorn, king of mankind.
by Draug

11. Frodo is from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. WOO HOO CR!
by Hawkeye

10. If Greedo had been replaced by Legolas when he had to beat Han to the draw in the cantina, Legolas would be the one flipping the bartender a credit.
by Draug

9. No one complains that the Tolkien books aren't canon.
by HandmaidenEirtae

8. Toe to toe, Merry & Pippin could kick some serious Jawa ass.
by Grand Moff Brykoe

7. The ale at the Prancing Pony beats the blue swill at the cantina every time!
by Menechil

6. The one ring is more powerful than the force, didn't you see Sauron in the prologue?
by Andy Niles

5. Peter Jackson simply cannot make shit up as he goes along.
by Matt F. Smith

4. Interspecies relationships work in Middle Earth. I don't think Leia and Chewbacca ever had chance.
by Lindsay Wilson

3. LotR is better because I know that Peter Jackson isn't going to rerelease The Two Towers just so some uruk-hai can shoot first in the Battle of Helm's Deep.
by I will not say "the lack of jar jar"

2. When gollum talks to himself it is psychologically interesting, when Jar Jar does it it is because the audience left.
by Kelsith

1. Aragorn is ahead of Anakin on the "Booty Call tally" by one.
by Tom Harrison

Of course, if you combine the two and get both Liv Tyler and Miranda Otto in slave girl outfits...And, of course, you can through Natile in there too...:D

I thought Lucas was really seduced by the dark side when he put Ewoks in ROTJ. The first two films are as solid as anything in moviedom. The last three are pieces of dreck that any first year film student ought to be ashamed of. I think that because the person who ghostwrote the first two screenplays for Lucas died before she could get her hands on ROTJ, the series has gone straight into the shitter ever since. Well, that and the fact that Lucas has gotten so big that he doesn't have anyone telling him "Look dude, it doesn't matter if it makes $300 million--it's still a piece of shit."

lotr beats sw all they way

Hey, which of the two was the first movie to ever break $400,000,000 in the U.S.?

In fact, which of the two currently holds the second spot on the highest grossing of all times list in the U.S.? (Damn that Titanic!)

Hell, even with inflation and tickets costing a lot more now than they did then Star Wars still made more.

LOTR is good, but SW just dominates

Same trilogy, different setting.

EDIT: Different characters too...

Let's see in thirty years time which books are still best sellers.
Or are we just talking films? As LOTR films as good as they are still skimp on detail.
You can never compaire the latest SW ofeering to LOTR, might as well pup the latest Barney release in there as well.
Original SW great! Latest tripe exactly that, dumbed down, mainstreamed, without flavour or interest.

Star Wars wins on the basis that their NerdCore FanBase is more willing to go much farther to emberass themselves on opening night. Plus...I didn't see a ton of LotRers camping outside theaters waiting in line for tickets...

LOTR wider fan base. Spawned more spin offs and it can be argued SW.
As films SW are nice short, entertaining and very watchable (not the new sh*t*). LOTR films very long and good but not so light hearted and easy to watch.
Still have to say as a long time LOTR (and all his other works) fan SW just can't be classed in the same league. With Dune you might be getting there, but not the films.

Again comes down to, are we talking films or books?

Star Wars wins on the basis that their NerdCore FanBase is more willing to go much farther to emberass themselves on opening night. Plus...I didn't see a ton of LotRers camping outside theaters waiting in line for tickets...

The funny thing is that most of the die-hard "must see opening night" LOTR fans are the same people who are die hard "must see opening night" star wars fans. Then again, the ones I know don't dress up, lol

Then again, the ones I know don't dress up, lol
Exactly. If you dress up in the costume of a movie you are going to go see you are a nerd and your movie is better.

Plus...I didn't see a ton of LotRers camping outside theaters waiting in line for tickets...

I didnt see the crowd winding up their cars to leave the opening night of the first LOTR either...

35. because lucas's filmic vision is an original construct, while jackson's is mere adaptation.

Heh. Can you say Dune ripoff? :)

For the rest: :D

I thought some of this was interesting.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html

Lord of the Rings pwns Star Wars.

Besides, LotR doesn't have any crappy preqels to make the world hate it as a whole.

Star Wars all the way! I hate the Empire and even Gundans are so much cooler than anything on LOTR.

Lord of the Rings pwns Star Wars.

Besides, LotR doesn't have any crappy preqels to make the world hate it as a whole.

Agreed. I love the original 3 Star Wars movies, but the new ones... blegh, mediocre acting, plots you can tell were made up off the top of Lucas's head (they contradict almost EVERYTHING that had been sound fact in the original movies), they just don't compare at all.

I think that Jackson did a superb job of bringing the books to film, the LOTR films are excellent movies.

Besides, LotR doesn't have any crappy preqels to make the world hate it as a whole.

Didn't I hear that PJ was looking at The Hobbit? And of course someone could decide to do the Silmiriliolithingumylilionwhatsit or a Tree and Leaf adaptation, to name but two (not necessarily 'prequel') examples of canon. :)

I thought some of this was interesting.

http://www.pointlesswasteoftime.com/film/50reasons.html


I hope no one takes that site seriously. Its some joke someone put up to get attention. The maker of the site claims to be a Dr. Albert Oxford, PhD of the London Film Institute. Which is for lack of a better word...bullshit. When he lists the 50 Reasons LOTR Sucks, the he puts as the top reason that people are being forced to real the "novelization of the movie." If anyone takes that guy seriously, then you really need to get your head lookad at.

Its fine that he can set up a joke site like that, its just that he doesn't ever proclaim the fact that it is just a joke, and then morons out there see it and believe it. <sigh> We live in an era of morons. You would think the name of the site would tip people off that it is a joke. Alas! Such is not always so.

You could have made the argument that Star Wars was better than Lord of the Rings prior to George Lucas taking the franchise, voiding the bowels of his imagination on it, and then flushing it down the toilet (in other words, before the prequels that have little to no redeeming value).

As a literary contribution, LOTR crushes SW into oblivion. In the world of fantasy, LOTR is THE standard. In the world of SF, SW is clearly taken from Asimov's Foundation series (read them and you can't help but be struck by it). SW offered a great deal of innovation to the movie industry, but lets not neglect the contributions LOTR has made. The sets they constructed and the CG integration was so superb that if one didn't know better, those sets and creatures could have been real. The cave troll in Fellowship of the Ring, for example. The interaction the real actors had with the CG creation set a benchmark that is decades ahead of any movie to date. Like the Abyss did, LOTR set a new CG benchmark that other movies are going to have to try to meet now.

LOTR is also superior in the DEPTH of the world that exists. The SW universe is just that, a universe, and so the creators can make up and throw together new planets and creatures without giving any reason for their existence, it's just a new planet that hadn't been introduced yet. Tolkien created a world for LOTR and created a complete, closed environment with politics much deeper and more substantial than an ambiguous Empire-Rebellion without clear boundaries and both are apparently popular fronts without any kind of internal strife and power struggles beyond a few leaders mistrust of the Force. The SW universe is shallow, ambiguous, and altogether rather childish and uninformed when it comes to real politics or real physics. The languages Tolkien created are real and working languages, and Peter Jackson carried on in that tradition by creating real and working weapons and armor down to conceptual designs of what kind of designs Elves would use in their weapons and armors (watch the special features!).

The detail put into making Gollum work and be believable probably made George Lucas cry himself to sleep as well for the shoddy job he did on any of his CG creatures (not just Jar-Jar) - they're all shiny, not useful (with the possible exception of Yoda, who can be discounted because his depth of personality was developed in the original trilogy, not in the hackneyed POS Lucas has thrown together to pay the bills at the expense of his legacy).

And let's not forget - Christopher Lee has appeared in both SW and LOTR and is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the international actor with the most screen credits, and he is on record as saying that LOTR is superior to SW.

Like I said at the beginning, the original SW movies were great and classic, but their legacy has been cheapened and undermined by Lucas' quest for Mo' Money.

I hope no one takes that site seriously. Its some joke someone put up to get attention. The maker of the site claims to be a Dr. Albert Oxford, PhD of the London Film Institute. Which is for lack of a better word...bullshit. When he lists the 50 Reasons LOTR Sucks, the he puts as the top reason that people are being forced to real the "novelization of the movie." If anyone takes that guy seriously, then you really need to get your head lookad at.

Its fine that he can set up a joke site like that, its just that he doesn't ever proclaim the fact that it is just a joke, and then morons out there see it and believe it. <sigh> We live in an era of morons. You would think the name of the site would tip people off that it is a joke. Alas! Such is not always so.

I don't take that list seriously, I love LotR movies and books, but I still find it funny when people make fun them.

I hope no one takes that site seriously. Its some joke someone put up to get attention. The maker of the site claims to be a Dr. Albert Oxford, PhD of the London Film Institute. Which is for lack of a better word...bullshit. When he lists the 50 Reasons LOTR Sucks, the he puts as the top reason that people are being forced to real the "novelization of the movie." If anyone takes that guy seriously, then you really need to get your head lookad at.

Its fine that he can set up a joke site like that, its just that he doesn't ever proclaim the fact that it is just a joke, and then morons out there see it and believe it. <sigh> We live in an era of morons. You would think the name of the site would tip people off that it is a joke. Alas! Such is not always so.

People who don't get it's not meant seriously shouldn't be on the Internet anyway. Oh well :fluffle: (I always wanted to use that smiley)

Star Wars vs. Lord of the Rings.

They are both great in their own way. It's sounds like Apples vs. Oranges so to speak. While yes I camped out for Star Wars and yes I did dress up, I still enjoy LOTR enough that I own both the extended versions and I am very much looking forward to owning third. I don't think it's fair to compare a series that started on film and transitioned to books to a series that started in books and made its way to the silver screen. Even though I love Star Wars I would never venture so far as to proclaim it as the better series. Conversely I would never say LOTR is better either.