NationStates Jolt Archive

Its that time again!!

Time to ask the most important questions to your daily life, that you just cant find the answers to!

In the past, Ive helped many of you with such important questions like

"Dear Squatch,
It smells bad, what should I do?"


Or..

"My girlfreind says Im too small....what can I do?"

You dont need Ann Landers...
Screw "Dear Abbey".

Just .."Ask the Squatch".

Just don't ask Hitler... or else DEAT!!

Hitler could have used my advice too.

"Hey Adolf..lose the crappy mustache."

I just spamed the crap out of the Spam forum.

Hitler could have used my advice too.

"Hey Adolf..lose the crappy mustache."

You know my last nation got deleted for an "Ask Hitler" thread.

You know my last nation got deleted for an "Ask Hitler" thread.


Thats nice.

Any questions?

Hey Squatch. How many pizzas can one man deliver in a single afternoon travelling 23 miles an hour uphill both ways. If his bike was yellow?

Hey Squatch. How many pizzas can one man deliver in a single afternoon travelling 23 miles an hour uphill both ways. If his bike was yellow?

That depends on how much you tipped him the last time you ordered.

Yellow makes everything go faster.

Hey Squatch. How many pizzas can one man deliver in a single afternoon travelling 23 miles an hour uphill both ways. If his bike was yellow?

Somehow, I think he'd have a heart attack. How can one travel uphill both ways anyway?

That depends on how much you tipped him the last time you ordered.



damn right it does, and i deliver pizza i know. and that thing about getting your food spit in if you're a pain in the butt at a restaurant, ya better believe that's true too.

who would win in a wrestling match - Jesus or the Invisible Pink Pony?

who would win in a wrestling match - Jesus or the Invisible Pink Pony?

Whoever wins, Agnosticism will victor!

Whoever wins, Agnosticism will victor!


The name of the thread isnt.."ASK THE GUY WHO KEEPS BUTTING IN."


As for thhe question....

Jesus was a skinny guy....the pony would give him a good hoofing.

The name of the thread isnt.."ASK THE GUY WHO KEEPS BUTTING IN."


As for thhe question....

Jesus was a skinny guy....the pony would give him a good hoofing.

Fine, I'll stop.

I still like you SI

Ask the Sqautch!

No, Really!

sup squatch. what time is it?

sup squatch. what time is it?


2:28 AM.

Time to Par-tay.

squatch, why do people on this messageboard have so much difficulty accepting my divinity?

squatch, why do people on this messageboard have so much difficulty accepting my divinity?

Maybe you ought to wear a toga. *shrug*

squatch, why do people on this messageboard have so much difficulty accepting my divinity?


Becuase miracles are hard to interperet on the internet...

Like sarcasm.

Becuase miracles are hard to interperet on the internet...

Like sarcasm.


yeah and dad was pretty firm about not reaching through the monitor and smiting people after that incident back in 01.

Does animal magnetism involve smelling and looking like an animal?

Maybe you ought to wear a toga. *shrug*

i never wore a toga back in the old days, i'm not gonna start now. i'm the son o'god, not some nancy boy roman emperor, dang it all....

Does animal magnetism involve smelling and looking like an animal?


No it involves a glue gun, and Fluffy, and some refridgerator magnets.

No it involves a glue gun, and Fluffy, and some refridgerator magnets.


you can wind them in copper wire and plug them in, but that usually involves horrible noises and scratching and biting.

Oh great squatch...please, reveal to me the secret thoughts behind the fools who persist in calling for the swastika to be legalised on NS...

Oh great squatch...please, reveal to me the secret thoughts behind the fools who persist in calling for the swastika to be legalised on NS...


Very well....

"I wish I had teeth, so I could get a date that isnt my sister."

Thats pretty much it.

Squatch:

When did Jim come back?

Jim

Oh Squatch, why is it that people like to flame and flame but is not capable of accepting the minor-est criticism?

Squatch:

When did Jim come back?

Jim


Just Now I think!

Oh Squatch, why is it that people like to flame and flame but is not capable of accepting the minor-est criticism?


Because nobody likes to be TOLD thier an ass.

Because nobody likes to be TOLD thier an ass.

Is there a way to counter that??

Is there a way to counter that??


Do it anyway.

Some people NEED to be told their being an ass.

Squatch, is www.thisisnotporn.com the creepiest/most difficult puzzle ever? If not, what is?

Do it anyway.

Some people NEED to be told their being an ass.

hmm...interesting...hahahaha. thanks! :D

Squatch, is www.thisisnotporn.com the creepiest/most difficult puzzle ever? If not, what is?
No..thats an oven in a corn field.

They creepiest puzzle?

How old is Dick Clark....

No..thats an oven in a corn field.

They creepiest puzzle?

How old is Dick Clark....

Okay, Squatches. Answer me this question. How can your Creepometer even register any level of creepiness based of the first page of a puzzle that has at least 10 pages that I've discovered so far (and I know there are tons more...)?

Umm.I found two.

and If you highlight the second page, it reads in chinese.

Umm.I found two.

and If you highlight the second page, it reads in chinese.
That's not Chinese. Ctrl + A, Ctrl + C, open notebook, Ctrl + V. It's a riddle.

Alexander cut me.
An oracle predicted me.
A future king tied me.

say my name to clear your path.

Alexander cut me.
An oracle predicted me.
A future king tied me.

say my name to clear your path.
That's the riddle, yes. Look at the thread called "Ultimate Puzzle"

I'll bump it for ya if you'd like.

Oh Almighty Squatch:

What should I do about the n00bs that plague us? Should I seek and destroy everyone that exist or should I show them the way?

Oh Almighty Squatch:

What should I do about the n00bs that plague us? Should I seek and destroy everyone that exist or should I show them the way?


Sell thier souls for turkey sandwiches.

Sell thier souls for turkey sandwiches.
How about Turkish turkey sandwiches?

They Have No Souls! How Can I Sell Them?!

They Have No Souls! How Can I Sell Them?!


Well then, you'll have to resort to selling the individuals themselves.
I recommend sneaking up on them very quietly, and then clubbing them like baby seals.
After that, they usually all go along quietly.

Hey Squatch, how many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Hey Squatch, how many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?


No one knows.

All they ever want to do is talk about the light bulbs mother.

No one knows.

All they ever want to do is talk about the light bulbs mother.

Oh, okay, cause I always thought it only took one, but the light bulb had to really want to change.. LOL :D

Squatch! Help! Why Are People Making It Their Hobby To Flame Me All Of A Sudden? Is It Cuz I'm Chinese? Cuz I'm Christian? Cuz They Think I'm A Li'l Know-nothing Squeak? Heeelp!