NationStates Jolt Archive


Foxx's Horoscopes

New Foxxinnia
14-07-2004, 15:56
Aries:
Turn off your pop-up blocker today. Today you will find a pop-up that will change your life.

Leo:
You will find fame and fortune after cultivating a circus act that will shock the nation.

Sagittarius:
Your job will be outsourced to India this week which will be interesting because you are a begger.

Taurus:
Today learn Norweigian so when Norway invades next week you won't be sacraficed to the Sun God 'Insna-coop'.

Virgo:
Do a little home surgery today to remove that dead fetus from your inner thigh.

Capricorn:
The stars were swamped this week so pretend you're a Sagittarius.

Gemini:
That strange piece of flesh growing out of your crotch is not a 2nd penis but really a pimple gone horribly wrong.

Libra:
The water calls to you. But don't jump in because you are on LSD.

Aquarius:
You have never been sexually attracted to fish before but you will at your grocery store.

Cancer:
You will feel the urge to kill your family with a baseball bat tonight, but instead cut off their limbs with an axe, toss their torsos in a lake, and boil the rest in acid.

Scorpio:
Believe it or not but you are walking on air.

Pisces:
Not only will your CDs be possesed by evil demons but the only way to get rid of them is to have sex with a dozen Japanese men.
Lakarian
14-07-2004, 18:27
Hmmm Very interesting Foxx, However I'm a Cancer and don't feel the Homicidal urges you described.
Suicidal Librarians
15-07-2004, 00:11
I'm a Libra but I'm not on LSD.
Kirbish
15-07-2004, 04:31
Me? Learn Norwegian? Okay!
The Sadistic Skinhead
15-07-2004, 07:33
i'm walking on air? sounds like im gonna jump off a building or i'm in love.
Xerxes Xavier
15-07-2004, 07:35
Pisces:
Not only will your CDs be possesed by evil demons but the only way to get rid of them is to have sex with a dozen Japanese men.

What?! I need my cd's for my radio show!!!
*sacastically sighs* If sleeping with a dozen Japanese men is what I have to do....
imported_Pigsy
15-07-2004, 16:28
"great"....... I mean crap....
Enerica
15-07-2004, 16:29
I don't have a popup blocker!
-Verbatim-
16-07-2004, 00:16
Gemini:
That strange piece of flesh growing out of your crotch is not a 2nd penis but really a pimple gone horribly wrong.

I don't know what you're talking about.