NationStates Jolt Archive

Make up a good Soviet Russia joke! No unoriginal things like "In Soviet Russia, car drive you!" or "The Party always finds you!"

Come up with something original.
Here's mine:
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
In Soviet Russia, poems write you!

In Soviet Russia, Vodka drinks you.

This was mildly amusing the first time, but by the third time the joke gets tired.

errrr in soviet russia the joke gets tired of you?

Make up a good Soviet Russia joke! No unoriginal things like "In Soviet Russia, car drive you!" or "The Party always finds you!"

Come up with something original.
Here's mine:
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
In Soviet Russia, poems write you!

You suck!

In Soviet Russia, cake mixes you!

well, the vodka one is partially true. Eventually, the vodka eats your body. It destroys. . .oh nevermind, thats too depressing.

In Soviet Russia, secret service comes after you.

In Soviet Russia, secret service comes after you.
In Soviet Russia, joke doesn't get you.

There is only so far you can take this joke...

...so I'll only try one.


In Soviet Russia the orgasm fakes you!

In soviet russia, you kill death
in soviet russia, matrix lives in you
in soviet, board posts on you

Quote joke from somewhere I don't remember. My history textbook, I think:

A Russian man enters the Department of Communications in 1987.

Man: Good morning, Comrade, I would like to have a telephone installed at my place.
Official: Yeah, the next telephone shipped from East Germany will arrive here in about five years. Can you wait?
Man: Yeah sure. But what month?
Official (puzzled): February.
Man: Really? Which day of the month, then?
Official (annoyed): 23rd.
Man: Wow. Is that in the morning or in the afternoon?
Official (irritated): Look, Comrade. It doesn't matter, does it. The telephone's coming five years later!
Man: Yeah, but in the morning of the 23rd of February 1992 the plumber's coming.

Quote joke from somewhere I don't remember. My history textbook, I think:

A Russian man enters the Department of Communications in 1987.

Man: Good morning, Comrade, I would like to have a telephone installed at my place.
Official: Yeah, the next telephone shipped from East Germany will arrive here in about five years. Can you wait?
Man: Yeah sure. But what month?
Official (puzzled): February.
Man: Really? Which day of the month, then?
Official (annoyed): 23rd.
Man: Wow. Is that in the morning or in the afternoon?
Official (irritated): Look, Comrade. It doesn't matter, does it. The telephone's coming five years later!
Man: Yeah, but in the morning of the 23rd of February 1992 the plumber's coming.
Haha, nice! And wouldn't it be Ministry of Communications?

Quote joke from somewhere I don't remember. My history textbook, I think:

A Russian man enters the Department of Communications in 1987.

Man: Good morning, Comrade, I would like to have a telephone installed at my place.
Official: Yeah, the next telephone shipped from East Germany will arrive here in about five years. Can you wait?
Man: Yeah sure. But what month?
Official (puzzled): February.
Man: Really? Which day of the month, then?
Official (annoyed): 23rd.
Man: Wow. Is that in the morning or in the afternoon?
Official (irritated): Look, Comrade. It doesn't matter, does it. The telephone's coming five years later!
Man: Yeah, but in the morning of the 23rd of February 1992 the plumber's coming.
Haha, nice! And wouldn't it be Ministry of Communications?

*shrugs*
I have no idea. :oops:

In Soviet Russia, cake mixes you!

Only when you're a small AnthroPC ;)

In Soviet Russia, cake mixes you!

Only when you're a small AnthroPC ;)

For those wondering what Goed is talking about, follow these links to Questionable Content (http://www.questionablecontent.net/). No less than 4 about cake mix, including a "In Soviet Russia" joke!

http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=20
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=57
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=58
http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=145

In Soviet Russia, the Gundam pilots you!

In Soviet Russia, test flunks you!

In Soviet Russia, music listens to you!

In Soviet Russia, road forks you

in soviet russia, stage performs on you

A woman waits in line for a Russian bakery. She tiurns to the woman next in line and asks "Do you think they'll have any meat today?" The woman next in line replies "This is the shop with no bread in it. The shop with no meat in it is next door."