NationStates Jolt Archive

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

LOL :P

this is Anarchy

101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!

i love those things...

the 1235 trick.

Take 4 objects and label them 1, 2, 3, and 5. Then hide them in a place (like a library) and watch in hilarity as they try and find the object labeled 4.

That was hilarious, but you forgot some stuff.

I saw a book in a store called 700 ways to annoy people

Here is some samples. I wish I could say they were mine, but they arn't.

-Push every button on the elevator.

-Wear your tie inside out.

-Find music nobody (and I mean NOBODY) else likes, then drive around town playing it at Highest possible volume (whilst wearing ear-plugs).

-Spend 7 years in the basement finding "the answer!"

-Every time you pick up the phone yell "WHAT THE (Insert your fowl whatchamacalem) DO YOU WANT THIS TIME!!!!"

-Page yourself over the intercom. Do NOT disguise your voice.

-Have your "man-slave" follow you everywhere, and demand to be called some high, grandous muckety-muck or whatever.

-Impersonate annoying movie characters at every possible moment.

-Protest against protesters.

-Join Green Peace.

-Join the Spanish Inquisition.

-Tell people how to be annoying.

-Never act your age (claim you were raised by some animals or something).

-Act as if you know everything about all possible subjects. If anyone doubt you, they are obviously a heretic and must be burned!!

-Never admit you are wrong.

-Always act paranoid, even in the company of good friends.

-Move into a perfectly respectable niehborhood and
a) Never mow your lawn.
b) Open a nightclub.
c) Open a Boarding house.
d) Set up a smog-belching factory.
e) Open an Insane Asylem or Health Spa (both create similar effect).
f) Start a punk band.
g) Take over the world.
h) Refer to your house as "the hood."

-Talk ganster/hip hop to black people (for best effect make sure you are white).

-Drive down the wrong way on a one way street.

-Get an offical seal for your documents.

-Grow a "Snidely Whiplash" moustache.

-Ask people if they still beat there relations (wife/husband or children, preferably)

-Play Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic (NO! I was just kidding! Don't do it! DON'T!).

-Get a portable recorder, and walk around town. Keep exciting, detailed reports of your average days, but be brief and boring reports when interesting or exciting things happen.

If you don't think any of these are funny, you are free to return to the under-areas of the slime-encrusted rocks from whence you came.

Have a nice day... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Go up and start talking to them like and old friend, and see if they play along... dont mention any specific events... just ay
"OOOH.... I remember you... your from my highschool.... what was yoiur name... ahhhh... now i remember...do nyou want to catch up... are you still with thet awesome guy you were dating?..." etc.

-Play Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic (NO! I was just kidding! Don't do it! DON'T!).NOOOWWW you tell me... i better go grab some bandaids....

I know a few. :shock:

During an arguement with someone, keep repeating "No you are!"

Say things that rhyme with peoples names really loudly than act like you haven't done anything.

Whenever someone talks to you, count to five slowly before replying.

Straight out ignore people. Especially when they have something really important to say. (works best over msn) :P

I got these in an email:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair
Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with
that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over
Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy,"

8. Dont Use Any Punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go,"

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Now this is annoying. :D

Is it startling to anyone that I have actually done a couple of these things?

...sighs...


Okay... Thirty-seven of them. :P

*takes notes*

103. Format C:/

Finish anything you say with "The voice of The Oracle has spoken," in a deep, booming voice. And speak about yourself in the third person.

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Do this

:shock: Did you really have to do that dude? Now that's what I call annoying!

:shock: Did you really have to do that dude? Now that's what I call annoying!
Well you wanted annoying things...I can do it bigger if you like. Anyone want me to? :twisted:

That is REALLY annoying.

Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally.

2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at work.

3. Twitch a lot.

4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep.

5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them.

6. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.

7. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat. When s/he turns to look, fall back down and grin.

8. Speak in tongues.

9. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.

10. Walk and talk backwards.

11. Spend all your money on Jolt Cola. Drink it all. Stack the cans in the middle of your room. Number them.

12. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."

13. Recite entire movie scripts (e.g. "The Road Warrior," "Repo Man," Casablanca,") almost inaudibly.

14. Collect all your urine in a small jug.

15. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring you food.

16. Get a computer. Leave it on when you are not using it. Turn it off when you are.

17. Ask your roommate if your girlfriend/boyfriend can move in "just for a couple of weeks."

19. Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come, pretend nothing happened.

20. Eat glass.

21. Smoke ballpoint pens.

22. Smile. All the time.

23. Collect dog crap in baby food jars. Sort them according to what you think the dog ate.

24. Burn all your waste paper while eying your roommate suspiciously.

25. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.

26. Leave a declaration of war on your roommate's desk. Include a list of grievances.

27. Shoot rubber bands at your roommate while his/her back is turned, and then look away quickly.

28. Dye all your underwear lime green.

29. Spill a lot of beer on his/her bed. Swim.

30. Buy three loaves of stale bread. Grow mold in the closet.

31. Hide your underwear and socks in your roommate's locker. Accuse him/her of stealing it.

32. Pray to Azazoth or Zoroaster. Sacrifice something nasty.

33. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.

34. Array thirteen toothbrushes of different colors on your dresser. Refuse to discuss them.

35. Paint your half of the room black. Or paisley.

36. Whenever he/she is about to fall asleep, ask questions that start with "Didja ever wonder why...." Be creative.

37. Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.

38. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.

39. Always flush the toilet three times.

40. Give him/her an allowance.

41. Listen to radio static.

42. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as soon as you wake up.

you can also hop aroung in your underwear (preferably dress up as cave man) and inspect and use everything that might be the slightest bit technologically advanced (ex. lightswitches, elevators, computers etc...

(you can also try to see wat it tastes like :) )

Another thing you can try is like Jonny Knoxville try to steal things by putting them under your t-shirt. When someone notices say "its my body"

That is REALLY annoying.
That was the idea.

now wots REALLY annoying?

1. footballers pretending they hurt themselves wen they haven't
2. evil ppl
3. evil penguins (u might wanna watch out 4 them)
4. me (lol)
5. exams

and i can't think of any more

(loads of things are annoying but i can't think of any right now)

okay, here's MY additions to the list:

1. Go to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Get a plate. Fill it with food. I mean a heaping MOUND of food. Take it back to your table. DO NOT EAT IT. Go back up to the buffet, get a clean plate and repeat. Keep doing this till management throws you out. When they do, ask for a doggie bag.

2. Go to the grocery store. Get a cart, fill it to the top...I mean a HUGE MOUND of groceries. Then, go up to the checkouts, look for a guy with one item, and ask him if you can get ahead of him! Say, "c'mon, man, I'm in a hurry! I only HAVE 1100 items!"

3. Contradict EVERYTHING someone says

4. (This is along the same line as #3) So, "No it doesn't" or "no it's not" to EVERYTHING someone says, especially if it is obvious stuff, like they say, "it's a nice day out today" or "it's raining."

5. Back out of drive-in banks!

-Page yourself over the intercom. Do NOT disguise your voice.



When I was a boy I actually witnessed Al Franken do this. Needless to say it has scarred me for life.

1. Demand to be called by your full name. Example: If people call you Rob, Bobby, Jr., Roby, etc...Demand to be known as Robert II.

2. Go to a Drive-through Bank window. Request fries.

3. If you have a person who works on your home (maid, pool boy, etc.) AND if they are the same gender as you, find them at their job. Suddenly, viciously accuse them of having an affair with your spose. This is even funnier if you are single.

4. Find a respectable guy in your are who keeps to himself. One day, call the police and say, "You need to get over here QUICKLY! I'm not absolutely sure, but I think he's beating his wife AGAIN!"

5. When you arive at a party, imediatly inform the host(ess) of how they've done everything wrong.

6. When you child has career day, give yourself either...
.......a) The most interesting/exciting/cool job imaginable.
.......b) The most boring/uncool job imaginable.

7. Walk your dog. Never bring a pooper scooper.

8. Exclaim totaly outrageous conspiracy theories in public.

9. Buy a tricked-out, expencive, cool car. Park it right in front of your house. Never drive it.

10. Do the "Back in MY day," lecture.

11. Become a prophet of Doom.

12. Publish an autobiography of yourself. On every page, except the author's note, title page, table of Contents, etc...Write in large, bold letters: NONE OF YOUR GOSH DARN BUISNESS!!!! Be sure to give the tabel of contents very interesting sounding chapters.

13. Wear a war uniform and demand to be called "the General!"

14. Change the subject as often as possible.

15. Call up random people, and call them by their "nicknames," loudly over the phone. (Be creative) (Hey! Grazelsnot!! how have you been these past years).

16. Walk up to a strange, slap/hit them and exclaim "Last night was the most horrible esperience of my life! I never want to see your ugly good-for-nothing face again!" (This is even more hilarious if they are married, or the same gender, but if they are either of these, make sure you are not well known.)

17. Call up people, asking them if you may barrow a cup of (Insert your own strange ingrediant).

18. Dress up like the sheriff from "Oh brother where art thou," and arrest people for made-up laws.

19. We you see the cops trying to tell you to pull over, shift into a high-speed chase.

20. Get together with a lot of friends, and just relax. Pretend to be asleep, and let them talk to each other, or whatever you guys were doing. Sudenly, make random exclamations (Examples: PA! THE CHICKENS ARE DROWNING!! THEY'RE COMMIN IN THROUGH THE WALLS!! THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!! THE KING OF THE HORNED TOADS GOT HIM!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!). Suddenly, sit strait up and say..."wow...what a weird dream I just had." If they ask you about it, say you don't realy remember...


:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Anyone ever try any of these ? :P :twisted:

When you're talking to someone on the phone, moan orgasmically. When asked why, tell them it doesn't matter, just keep talking.

Brag inicessantly about unimportant things, like "Woah, baby, I've got such a nice book right now. Do you have anything to read, hmmmmmmmmmm?"

End whatever you're saying with "Hmmmmmmmm?"

When talking about anything, make it so it can be taken out of context, i.e.:
I'm going to go talk to the boss

becomes

I'm going to go pogo with the monkey.

Saying you've got bad knees

becomes

Yeah, I can do barely anything since those two things under my hips went out.



Ask anyone on a motorcycle if they're enjoying the power between their legs.

101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!

101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and cha101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and[quote=Lapse][quote=FMP]101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaange size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa101.list 100 drefrent ways to annoy anyone
102a.copy said list and change size to 29 and post it as maney times as you can get away with
102b.copy said list and change size to 29 post it and then quote your self over and over and over agen to create a HUGE quote pyrimed

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted:LOL!!!!!!!!!hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :roll: :twisted:

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parti1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own prete1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the j1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate 1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

44. Honk and wave to strangers.

45. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

46. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

47. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

48. Wear your pants backwards.

49. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

50. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

51. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

52. only type in lowercase.

53. dont use any punctuation either

54. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

55. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

56. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

57. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

58. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

59. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J. Simpson conspiracy theories.

60. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

61. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

62. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

63. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

64. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

65. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

66. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

67. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

68. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

69. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

70. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

71. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

72. Drive half a block.

73. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

74. Ask people what gender they are.

75. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

76. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

77. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes."

78. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad," the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

79. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

80. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

81. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

82. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

83. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if the slow down.

84. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

85. Wear a LOT of cologne.

86. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

87. Sing along at the opera.

88. Mow your lawn with scissors.

89. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

90. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

91. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

92. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

93. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

94. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties"crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's partiesukebox fifty times.

95. Never make eye contact.

96. Never break eye contact.

97. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

98. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's partiesnd "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's parties
99. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

100. Invite lots of people to other people's partieses
Now this is annoying. :D

:shock: Did you really have to do that dude? Now that's what I call annoying!
Well you wanted annoying things...I can do it bigger if you like. Anyone want me to? :twisted:

No thanks, my vision was 20/20 last time I had it checked.

When you're talking to someone on the phone, moan orgasmically. When asked why, tell them it doesn't matter, just keep talking.

Brag inicessantly about unimportant things, like "Woah, baby, I've got such a nice book right now. Do you have anything to read, hmmmmmmmmmm?"

End whatever you're saying with "Hmmmmmmmm?"

When talking about anything, make it so it can be taken out of context, i.e.:
I'm going to go talk to the boss

becomes

I'm going to go pogo with the monkey.

Saying you've got bad knees

becomes

Yeah, I can do barely anything since those two things under my hips went out.



Ask anyone on a motorcycle if they're enjoying the power between their legs.

I like the first one. :D

Palan, you missed the size=29 part for your quote pyrimed

tag

I've seen those list's many time's before,yet,i keep reading them anyway. :?

someone said to put "FORMAT C:"(w/o the "" marks)into your computer
a word of advice here DON'T EVER do that it will unlease hell on earth on your computer if you know where to type it, take my word on this if you dont know what it does.BTW this is NOT a joke.

this has offically been [tag]ged.

Send someone to TAR's house. :shock: