NationStates Jolt Archive


4th comic routine of the NSSPCJ

Cogitation
20-06-2004, 18:14
The Fourth Comic Routine of The NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen.

We Moderators typically get all sorts of requests for help. However, we also get requests for explanations for why we took Moderator action against someone.

In recent days, though, we've had more than one case where the discussion went like this:

"Mods! Why was I deleted? I didn't do anything wrong."
"Nope, No you didn't. Nothing wrong at all."
"Well, then, why was I deleted?"
"Inactivity."
"What!? Inactivity? But I've been logging in every day for the past 3 weeks? How could I have died of inactivity?!"
"That's what it says. 'The Roleplaying Republic of Mr. Mighty has not logged in in the past 28 days.' No official warnings. You want it resurrected? ... There you go, resurrected."
"But I can't do a forum search under my name, anymore! I can't find my old threads! And my POSTCOUNT!!!"
"Sorry, but there's nothing we can do about that. That's what happens when you become inactive. We can't restore any of that because of the way the game and the forums are integrated."
"But I was posting just minutes ago!”

So.... How does a perfectly rule-abiding nation that posts in the forums several times a day get deleted for inactivity? It is a strange and mysterious phenomenon... until you remember that we're talking about NationStates here.

Keep in mind that NationStates.net was written primarily by an amateur programmer (an Aussie who was drunk half the time, to boot, though [dredd] and [violet] helped out, too), that the various pieces of program code involved were slapped together with spit, string, and prayer, and that the whole thing was loaded onto a webhost and, later on, two dedicated servers that were each mass-raped by the exponentially-increasing traffic load that attended the increasing popularity of the site. In a situation like this, you’re going to have problems somewhere, and most likely, a great many “somewheres”.

Of course, SalusaSecondus later came along, and he’s been saving-the-day ever since. But even he can’t completely rescue this site from its inglorious origins. So, there are still very many “somewheres” wherein problems lurk, just waiting... waiting to come out and do something nasty.

The “somewhere” that concerns us, here, is where the game and the forums meet; the interface between the two. Max Barry was originally just going to have the game only, but decided to tack on the forums as an afterthought. (Do you hear that, you forumgoers? You’re a secondary consideration. :p ) Now, Max didn’t want to have to write his own forum code from scratch... because he was having enough problems with writing the game, itself. So, he took a perfectly-working phpBB system, gutted it, played “Dr. Frankenstein”, and modified it to work with the game. The modification that concerns us, here, is that you can’t create a forum account independently; you have to create a nation and then the game tells the forums to create a forum account of the same name. More to the point, when the game deletes a nation for inactivity (or whatever reason), the game tells the forums to delete the associated forum account.

...but the integration isn’t perfect, and some silent (and unconscious) assumptions were made when the game and the forums were slapped together like patches on a quilt. (...and you know what happens when you make assumptions....) Two of the oversights are that it’s possible to log into the forums directly... without logging into the game first, and that the forums never tell the game if you’ve been active, recently.

“Who’s the hottest girl on NS? :D “

“I n00kz j00!”

“I’d like to suggest a new category for UN proposals....”

“I n00kz j00!”

“The Lady Sirithil nos Feanor walked past the soldiers, nodding with approval as she inspected the arrayed forces of The Eternal Noldorin Empire....”

“I n00kz j00!”

“The President sat in his office on one of the upper levels of the Palace of Thought in Cogitation City, reviewing the current batch of UN proposals. ‘Summon the Ambassadors; a new resolution is about to go to the floor and I need their opinions. You know the drill.’”

“I n00kz j00!”

“Will this feature be considered for NS2?”

“I n00kz j00! [Moderator Edit – Cogitation] I l0ckz j00! [/modedit]”

So, there you are, happily posting away in the forums, and one day...

...you can’t log in.

Your nation’s been deleted. Gone. Poof. Disappeared. “The Roleplaying Republic of Mr. Mighty has ceased to exist.” ...and your forum account with it.

...and why? Because you’ve been hanging around in the forums so much. No brief stop in your nation, you just skip straight to the forums. “Gotta boost my postcount! Gotta boost my postcount! Gotta boost my postcount! :D “ ...and the game is sitting there wondering “Where are you? You never log in, you never telegram, it’s always the forums, forums, forums! What about me?! What about my needs? Do I mean so LITTLE to you? I’m only asking for a little attention every now and then, a regional move, a UN vote, an issue decision, a telegram, a simple login, ANYTHING! Is ONCE every FOUR WEEKS too much to ask?”

So, after 28 days, like a scorned girlfriend, the game cuts you off and deletes your forum account. The forums, dumb as they are, don’t bother to tell the game that you were on just yesterday and wipes your account. You can’t do an egosearch, your Founding date has been erased, and, oh horror of horrors, your postcount is ZERO! Oh, the inhumanity! :twisted:

Now, we all know that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, let me just give you this one piece of advice: Spend a little time with the game! It created a nation for you at your request; give it a little attention: A single flower, a single, simple, sincere compliment, pull out a chair for her, hold the door open for her, act like a gentl.... Wait a minute, this doesn’t look right.... :confused:

I’m sorry, I have my notes mixed up. This is “girlfriend”, that’s “NationStates”. Okay, got it! :D

What was I saying? Oh, right. Give the game a little attention. At the minimum, you should log into the game, itself, at least once every four weeks. Once a week would be safer. Better yet, make it a habit of logging into the game before going to the forums, then you’d avoid this problem altogether.

Also keep in mind that the private message function of the forum was disabled when it was slapped onto the game with little more than Elmer’s Glue (well, Salusa replaced the glue with real nails, but that's besides the point), so that any private communications have to take place by NationStates Telegram. You have to access your nation to read the telegrams.

It all makes sense if you “Think about it for a moment.” :wink:

Thank you for your time. :)

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
“Laugh about it for a moment.”
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester
Spoffin
20-06-2004, 18:30
Cog, how the hell did they let a crackpot like you get put in charge of modding this site?
Pax Salam
20-06-2004, 18:44
Dezzan
20-06-2004, 18:52
Heheheheh! I didn't realise i *could* log onto the forums separately. Duh!!! *slaps self on head*

"and the game is sitting there wondering “Where are you? You never log in, you never telegram, it’s always the forums, forums, forums! What about me?! What about my needs? Do I mean so LITTLE to you? I’m only asking for a little attention every now and then, a regional move, a UN vote, an issue decision, a telegram, a simple login, ANYTHING! Is ONCE every FOUR WEEKS too much to ask?”

Sheesh Cog...this really pulled at my heart strings...had me in tears! :wink:
Serengarve
20-06-2004, 18:57
Oh man, I missed the first three CRs of the NSSPCJ.

There are a first three, right?
Spoffin
20-06-2004, 18:59
Oh man, I missed the first three CRs of the NSSPCJ.

There are a first three, right?One of them was about Rep Prod's sword
Pax Salam
20-06-2004, 19:26
Pshh...me thinks that Max shouldve created a forum, and then added the game as an extra.





j/k


I will own up to be one of the nations that took a fall as a result of my forum addiction/game negligence. :(
Goobergunchia
20-06-2004, 19:39
Cog, how the hell did they let a crackpot like you get put in charge of modding this site?

Because we all begged them in to in July and August 2003. :P

*waves GamePlayer/All-Forumer flag around*
Spoffin
20-06-2004, 19:52
Cog, how the hell did they let a crackpot like you get put in charge of modding this site?

Because we all begged them in to in July and August 2003. :P

*waves GamePlayer/All-Forumer flag around*Oh yeah. Oops.
Cogitation
21-06-2004, 00:36
Oh man, I missed the first three CRs of the NSSPCJ.

There are a first three, right?

First. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=99542)
Second. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=110982)
Third. (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=129358)

The first got better reviews than the other two, as I recall.

Cog, how the hell did they let a crackpot like you get put in charge of modding this site?

Because we all begged them in to in July and August 2003. :POh yeah. Oops.

Yeah, ya see, this is what happens when you get a popularly-elected Moderator. :P :lol:

--The Jovial States of Cogitation
“Laugh about it for a moment.”
NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester
Superpower07
21-06-2004, 00:46
The Fourth Comic Routine of The NationStates Self-Proclaimed Court Jester

Hey! I won the 'best political humor' award in that thread. I (politely) challenge the oh so great Mod to a laugh-off!
Serengarve
21-06-2004, 00:53
The first one, excellent. The second one looked intimidating to read, so I was going through it, and then suddenly the humor slapped me upside the head so I was laughing as I held my head from the slap. The third one, well, it's good, but I wouldn't exactly classify it as humor, since I'm one of the types of people who are likely to seriously make that sort of argument. Which reminds me-another way that sword would be feasible is if it was used on a lower-gravity planet.


...but yeah, they're all good. I eagerly await the next chapter, er, comic routine!
:D

not least because I'm really bored right now
Cogitation
21-06-2004, 01:35
Hey! I won the 'best political humor' award in that thread. I (politely) challenge the oh so great Mod to a laugh-off!

Heh. :lol:

I don't know how well I'd do in a competition as most of my humor deals with targets-of-opportunity. It's possible that we could arrange something, though. :)

I'm not sure what thread you're referring to. Could you link me to the topic where you got the 'Best Political Humor' Award? Thanks.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation
"Think about it for a moment."
Cogitation
23-06-2004, 04:27
^BUMP^

...for publicity.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation