NationStates Jolt Archive

1. So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day...
Look at the bright side,
she's a really good lay.

2. My tire was thumping....
I thought it was flat....
when I looked at the tire....
I noticed your cat... Sorry

3. You had your bladder removed
and you're on the mends....
here's a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends.

4. You've announced that you're gay,
won't that be a laugh,
when they find out you're one
of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

5. Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy.

6. Heard your wife left you...
How upset you must be...
But don't fret about it ....
She moved in with me

7. Your computer is dead...
it was once so alive....
Do you regret installing
Win 95?

8. You totaled your car...
and can't remember why...
could it have been...
that case of Bud Dry?

-this has been another interesting thread brought to you by DF

Thanks for thread...
Off the top of your head?
I reallly must say...
These jokes are quite gay.

i have to admire
your persistence indeed
for i chuckled going through this
a strange thread to read

wow. wasnt expecting people to reply in greeting-card-esk style. cool.

well you never quite know
what you will find
did you expect to not have
a response of this kind?

simple and boring
is simply a mess
i'll write responses
quite greeting-card-esque!

Mock the greeting-card,
sociologic quips and puns ...
oh god. Does it end?

Mock the greeting-card,
sociologic quips and puns ...
oh god. Does it end?

nope. never.

A lock I see...
Wasn't it destined...
Stop this thread...
this is bloody contagious!

why, i ask
should this be locked?
i fear, if it is to be
then all free speach
might as well be shot.

http://www.geog.ucsb.edu/~jeff/earthgifs/world.gif

Hallmark is crap, their words are so dreary,
I never buy them, I've got bettter tast.
To look through the cards just makes me weary,
in fact for a greeting, they're simply a waste.

Please lock this thread
I want to hit it with a..loaf of bread?
Surely it'll be locked
Or I'll be clocked

-One Who Can Not Rhyme/Write Poetry/Write in Prose

ok, the rhyming stops now. just respond normal now.

Five more too bad they're so sucky.

So you lost all the weight,
I must say that's great.
But you humongous debt,
You shall never escape!

Skin is now sagging
And your knockers are too,
With a check for plastic surgery,
Happy Birthday to you!

You lost one of your brood
And that really quite sad
But don't get in a mood
Since two out of three ain't bad!
Congratulations on being a mother of trip- er twins!

So I slept with your friend,
And I never pay back what you lend.
For the sake of the children!
Let's try it again.
I'm sorry.

You finally graduated from college,
And should have a bright future.
But instead you have tables to polish,
'Cause skippping the last election made you a really big loser.
Next year get out and vote!!!