NationStates Jolt Archive

This makes three marriages gone awry for the great bloviator. Clicky. (http://www.tallahassee.com/mld/tallahassee/news/politics/8902292.htm)

I wonder if his soon-to-be ex-wife will get her half of Rush's stash of Oxycontin? Maybe he wasn't as much fun when he wasn't high.

I can't wait for her tell-all book on the marriage.

*Thinks about reading about their sex life*

On second thought, maybe I can.

I blame perscription pain meds. They kept the littlest dictator from invading fertile soil.

I can't wait for her tell-all book on the marriage.

*Thinks about reading about their sex life*

On second thought, maybe I can.
Since they are conservatives, it will probably involve liquid latex, whips / riding crops and sharp objects.

Since they are conservatives, it will probably involve liquid latex, whips / riding crops and sharp objects.Or worse--ever heard Bill Hicks' take on Limbaugh's sex life? Nasty stuff.

OMG mod humor! Lets sticky this thread for all to see! :lol:

Well, seriously, you have to think there's something funny about a conservative who's gotten three divorces. He really shouldn't be such a hypocrite. (I'm probably gonna eat these words later)

ever heard Bill Hicks' take on Limbaugh's sex life? Nasty stuff.
Do tell. Or TM a link, if unsuitable. :)

I would like to perform a dramatic reading from Ann Coulter's upcoming book

Democratic Phallusies: Why Liberals Make Lousy Lovers

*ahem*

Chapter 1: I Want To Be Invaded

The fundamental problem with taking a liberal as a lover is that they're too giving. All the time with the giving and the caring and the asking it they're hurting you. Don't they understand that all women want to be possessed? All women, and I know because I am one, see themselves as the unconqured country of America. When their fertile hills are spread before you, they don't want you to be all namby-pamby with your diplomacy and your bead trading. They want to be run over rough-shod by your covered wagon of manly lust. They want to be plundered like social security. All women are crying out and demanding to be subordinate.

Liberals don't get this. They're all about foreplay and soft lights and Barry White music. They get so emotional when it's over, crying and saying how they "value you as a person". That's useless to women. The only time I want to see a man cry is when my bony hips have punctured him during our animalistic exchange of power.

I was talking with my good friend Hannity the other day. Well, more like listening while he talked, really. Anyway, I managed to suggest to him that he wanted to talk about sex so I was able to ask him how virile stallion such as himself kept his female lovers happy. He looked at me for a moment and said, "Women can be happy?" I beamed a coquettish smile at him and said, "Exactly!" I love my friend Sean Hannity so much that sometimes I can spend entire days doodling "Ann Hannity" all over my reprints of the Constitution. I used to think I would be Ann Coulter-Hannity, but I soon realized that a real man like Sean would never let his wife hyphenate. Hyphens are a sign of true liberals who just want to keep using words no matter if they break across the page because that's their "spend, spend, spend" mentality. Now, if that God-fearing whore of a wife of his would just drop dead...

Where was I? Oh, yes. Liberals are all about giving, but sex is essentially about taking. I have something and I want someone who will take it from me, not negotiate for it. I remember when George landed on that aircraft carrier and that flight harness clearly outlined his Divine Presidential Mandate. I thought to myself, now THAT'S one ship I'd like to dock in my harbor. Of course, I'd never cross Laura, at least not while she still has her driving license. Which she should give up because her flaunting her driving is clearly an attempt to undermine her husband's authority. Maybe someday George will change my regime.

*closes book*

Copies are on sale in the lobby.

:shock:

. . .

http://www.wideopenwest.com/~cmetzger/puke.gif

Sometimes my satire isn't the best. :cry:

He's a hypocrite, simple as that.

OMG mod humor! Lets sticky this thread for all to see! :lol:

Well, seriously, you have to think there's something funny about a conservative who's gotten three divorces. He really shouldn't be such a hypocrite. (I'm probably gonna eat these words later)

there is a difference between religious conservatives and political conservatives.

political conservatives ( of rush's ilk) get divorced because who could stand living with them? 10 years! the woman must be a freaking saint!

Sometimes my satire isn't the best. :cry:

i enjoyed it, she coulda written it herself. in fact, send her what you wrote and maybe she can expand it to a full book

ever heard Bill Hicks' take on Limbaugh's sex life? Nasty stuff.
Do tell. Or TM a link, if unsuitable. :)You can try it here. (http://ubl.artistdirect.com/music/genre/sub/songs/0,,542,00.html) It's number 85. I got mine back in the glory days of Napster, so I've never tried getting it from that link before, but it is from his album "Rant in E Minor" and it is truly, truly disgusting. Let's just say it involves Barbara Bush's labia and leave it at that.

Once again . . .

:shock:

. . .

http://www.wideopenwest.com/~cmetzger/puke.gif

I can't wait for her tell-all book on the marriage.

*Thinks about reading about their sex life*

On second thought, maybe I can.
Since they are conservatives, it will probably involve liquid latex, whips / riding crops and sharp objects.

Amazingly, my ex was a liberal and she was completely into that shit. What's that leave me? Fuck if I know.

Berkylvania, that was hilarious! Can I email it to all my friends?

Berkylvania, that was hilarious! Can I email it to all my friends?

Yes. I give it to the universe. :D

Once again . . .

:shock:

. . .

http://www.wideopenwest.com/~cmetzger/puke.gifCan you let me know if the link works?

I have passed it on. I hope it will come back among the enlightened circles!

xoxoxoxoxo-Z

Was it Limbaugh who said that Kerry couldn't be a good and moral president because he was on his second marriage? Please let it have been Limbaugh.

Psst....Reagan was divorced too!! **GASP**

Berk! My Brain is on fire from that! I demand you put it out!

I feel sorry for him. He's a conservative on the air, and while he can fill a show with three hours' worth of talking points five days a week, he's just not an intellectual that realizes that humans are, well, human. We can't follow what God wants us to do simply because, while good, we are immoral.

THOU SHALT NOT SPEAK BADLY OF REAGAN. REAGAN IS GOD.

</tongue-cheek>

I feel sorry for him. He's a conservative on the air, and while he can fill a show with three hours' worth of talking points five days a week, he's just not an intellectual that realizes that humans are, well, human. We can't follow what God wants us to do simply because, while good, we are immoral.I don't feel sorry for anyone who revels in wholesale condemnation and has it come back and bite him in the ass. He's a hypocrite and I hope his wife takes him to the cleaners.

Ann Coulter is a freak.