NationStates Jolt Archive


Important Lessons learned by watching Pro Wrestling.

Lunatic Goofballs
11-06-2004, 09:35
People knock pro wrestling. They say that teens mimic it (backyard wrestling) and hurt themselves. They say it's childish, or even sexist.

But there are valuable life lessons to be learned from Pro Wrestling. For instance;

1) Jumping at people from tall places is a 'high risk maneuver'.
2) Never headbutt a Samoan.
3) Don't mess with the really big guy in the mask.
4) There are very few people who won't go down after a couple hits with a steel chair.
5) Certain people should never be allowed to speak.
6) Low Blows are fine as long as the ref isn't looking.
7) If you lose, shift blame away from yourself.
8 ) Don't let bad people grab your shorts.
9) It's only cheating if you get caught.
10) Midgets are funny in small doses.
Mutant Dogs
11-06-2004, 09:44
:shock: :shock:

I've just realised something.

Your name is not Lunatic Golfballs, it is Lunatic Goofballs.
Lunatic Goofballs
11-06-2004, 09:45
:shock: :shock:

I've just realised something.

Your name is not Lunatic Golfballs, it is Lunatic Goofballs.

Remind me not to let you watch my nuclear power plant safety console. :wink:
Rotovia
11-06-2004, 09:48
lol, this truly deserves.

Rotovia's Big Red Seal of Humour
Catholic Europe
11-06-2004, 11:39
Lol, I like wrestling! It's funny! :lol:
BackwoodsSquatches
11-06-2004, 11:50
Dont forget these...

Referees are fragile creatures, and are rendered unconcious at the slightest touch.

When a wrestler is talking about another wrestler, and says.."Hes not here".
He's there..and waiting to run out to beat thae other guy up.

Every piece of metal in, around, or near a ring, is "Raw Steel"...even if it looks like aluminium.

Wrestlers dont get cut....they get "Busted Wide Open".

During a womens match.......use the bathroom.
Catholic Europe
11-06-2004, 11:52
During a womens match.......use the bathroom.

They're not that boring....especially if Sable is involved.
BackwoodsSquatches
11-06-2004, 11:54
During a womens match.......use the bathroom.

They're not that boring....especially if Sable is involved.

Sable WAS eye candy..now..shes forty.

Also..she couldnt wrestle her way out a paper bag.
Catholic Europe
11-06-2004, 11:56
Sable WAS eye candy..now..shes forty.

Huh...blaspehmy! She's still got it...not as good as she used to have it but still... :D
BackwoodsSquatches
11-06-2004, 11:57
Sable WAS eye candy..now..shes forty.

Huh...blaspehmy! She's still got it...not as good as she used to have it but still... :D

Well..now she has "M.I.L.F" factor.

But thats fading....shes getting old, and her looks aere starting to show.
Catholic Europe
11-06-2004, 11:58
Well..now she has "M.I.L.F" factor.

But thats fading....shes getting old, and her looks aere starting to show.

Yeah...well, she'll probably just go see her surgeon again.
BackwoodsSquatches
11-06-2004, 11:59
Well..now she has "M.I.L.F" factor.

But thats fading....shes getting old, and her looks aere starting to show.

Yeah...well, she'll probably just go see her surgeon again.

She WAS in Playboy recently....so shes not looking all that bad.
But..an airbrush can do miracles.
Catholic Europe
11-06-2004, 12:00
She WAS in Playboy recently....so shes not looking all that bad.
But..an airbrush can do miracles.

Well, there we go....don't meet Sable in person. :lol:
Cannot think of a name
11-06-2004, 12:03
I can't really be bothered to keep up with wrestling, but every once in a while something happens and damn it all, I want to know whats up. So since NS is like having a team of researchers hangin' around, I'll ask you all:

What happened to Undertaker? First he was some sort of Westworld undead whatever, then he went away and came back a biker, and now he's back to Westworld zombie guy. What happened?

Thanks in advance....
Trotterstan
12-06-2004, 00:33
I used to watch wrestling but i sadly dont have pay tv any more and its not free to air here.

Its just like a soap opera only with suplexes and bra and panties matches.
Tuesday Heights
12-06-2004, 02:59
The most important lesson I learned from Pro Westling is that when kids are watching it, and are fans of it, they must learn immediately that it isn't real.

My six year old newphew likes to do those wrestling moves on his three year old brother, and he hurts him. Of course, my brother (their father) lets him, because he doesn't see the harm, but it pains me every time the six year old does it, because, he could kill his little brother - and he has no idea - and he never will understand that unless someone tells him.
Ashmoria
12-06-2004, 03:02
that was a HOOT!
did you write those up yourself? excellent list!
im jotting some of those down for future reference since i dont watch wrastlin'
Crelm
12-06-2004, 03:35
Something that I learned from wrestling fans:

They are usually men. They like to watch big sweaty men hug each other.

Nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying...

:shock:

4) There are very few people who won't go down after a couple hits with a steel chair.

Do not try this at home.

On your girlfriend.

Really.

The BJ ain't worth the jail time.

:twisted:
Pyta
12-06-2004, 03:38
except for 10, its perfect.
.
.
.
Midgets are always funny, Haven't youy seen the "Saftey Dance" Video?
Pax Salam
12-06-2004, 03:40
All the wrestlers are shiny.
Lunatic Goofballs
12-06-2004, 08:36
Something that I learned from wrestling fans:

They are usually men. They like to watch big sweaty men hug each other.

Nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying...

:shock:

4) There are very few people who won't go down after a couple hits with a steel chair.

Do not try this at home.

On your girlfriend.

Really.

The BJ ain't worth the jail time.

:twisted:

:lol: