imported_Celeborne
10-06-2004, 14:42
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at
parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though,
one thought led to another, and soon I was more than
just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to
relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and
finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think
on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read
Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly
we are doing here?" I soon had a reputation as a heavy
thinker.
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Man, I like
you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking
on the job, you'll have to find other employment."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early
after my conversation with the boss. "Sweetheart," I
confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you have," she said, starting to cry, "and if
you don't stop, I'll want a divorce!"
"But dear, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said through her rolling tears.
"You think as much as college professors, and college
professors don't make any money, so if you keep on
thinking we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and
she began to cry again.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled
as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library,
in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio.
I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
glass doors. They didn't open: the library was
closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was
looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground
clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.
"Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it
asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering
thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we
watch a non-educational video; last week it was
Porky's Revenge. Then we share experiences about how
we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still
have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I
STOPPED thinking.
Soon, I will be able to vote Republican!
parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though,
one thought led to another, and soon I was more than
just a social thinker. I began to think alone -- "to
relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.
Thinking became more and more important to me, and
finally I was thinking all the time. I began to think
on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix, but I couldn't stop myself.
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read
Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office
dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly
we are doing here?" I soon had a reputation as a heavy
thinker.
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Man, I like
you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking
has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking
on the job, you'll have to find other employment."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early
after my conversation with the boss. "Sweetheart," I
confessed, "I've been thinking..."
"I know you have," she said, starting to cry, "and if
you don't stop, I'll want a divorce!"
"But dear, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said through her rolling tears.
"You think as much as college professors, and college
professors don't make any money, so if you keep on
thinking we won't have any money!"
"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and
she began to cry again.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled
as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library,
in the mood for some Nietzsche, with NPR on the radio.
I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big
glass doors. They didn't open: the library was
closed. To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was
looking out for me that night. As I sank to the ground
clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for
Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.
"Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it
asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the
standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering
thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we
watch a non-educational video; last week it was
Porky's Revenge. Then we share experiences about how
we avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still
have my job, and things are a lot better at home.
Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I
STOPPED thinking.
Soon, I will be able to vote Republican!