NationStates Jolt Archive

what are the corniest and the best you guys have heard your whole life, the croniest i've heard is "It won't suck itself"

" Can I offer you sex in exchange for sex?"

"So, I hear you wanna have some sex."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by agian?"

Walk by again :)

How do you like your eggs in the morning-fertilized or unfertilized?

Nice Shoes. Wanna have sex?

Nice legs, what time do they open?

worst - lets practice our math. lets add you, me, and a bed, subtract the clothes, devide the legs, and try not to multiply.

best - excuse me, but do you mind if i lose myslef in your eyes?

The only thing that looks good on me is you, baby. :wink:

"I would enjoy having sexual intercourse with you."

"Pardon me, but does this rag smell like ether to you?"

"You. me. bed. now."

*swooning* Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are the color of two swirling cess pools?

I wish you were my homework so I could throw you on my desk and do you all night.

Oh oh!

You remind me of my sister!

knock knock
-who's there-
hippo
-hippo who-
i dunno. wanna screw?

Get your coat babe, you've just pulled..

I wish you were my homework so I could throw you on my desk and do you all night.LOL

conserve water; take your shower with me.

"There's a party in my pants and you're invited."

"I want to be your Krakatoa and let my lava flow all over you."

haha... im laughing really hard right now...
i can't believe people actually use half of these pick up lines, is the thing.
and i definately can't imagine the response being very good to most of them anyway... hah

+1

"A/S/L?" <---BEST. LINE. EVER!

"Pardon me, but does this rag smell like ether to you?"


omg yes

just cause we know them doesnt mean we use them
btw, the usual response is either an apreciative laugh, then turn away, or a heardy slap in the face.

just cause we know them doesnt mean we use them
btw, the usual response is either an apreciative laugh, then turn away, or a heardy slap in the face.

Someone is a playa!

just cause we know them doesnt mean we use them
btw, the usual response is either an apreciative laugh, then turn away, or a heardy slap in the face.

Someone is a playa!

darn tootin'!

(better?)

danm straight!

Don't stand close to his fire, or you will get burned.

Do your feet hurt? Cause mine do; I have corns.

___________________________________________________________________
LOOK AT ME... I AM AMF... I AM SO GODDAMN LARGE.... I CAN DO NO WRONG.

If I said you had a sexy body would you hold it against me. Hold it against me.

how many of yall got slapped for these?

*hand shoots up into air*
well, i guess i did.

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

"You have lovely eyes. Can I have one?"

note: This line will fail unless you have that drugged-up artist look going.

I love every muscle in your body, especially mine.

I'm not asking you out, I'm asking you in...to my pants.

I think is the worst pick up attempt I have ever heard

Girl: Does this necklace look good on me?

Guy: Yeah, but do you know what would like better on you?

Girl: What?

Guy: Me

Yes i really did hear that, back during my Freshmen year of high school


She hit him, really hard ;)

many variations on that one.

damn, and i figured he was just originaly stupid, you'd think if you're going to say something stupid.....you'd at least be creative

yeah, ive heard a couple variations of that one too... and a couple variations of the crumpled-up-clothes-on-the-floor too...
slap-worthy... haha.

me: I like my bed, it's really soft and squishy
him: So am I, wanna come over?

I realize I was talking about my bed...but that only makes it worse, he could've turned it into a decent line at least :wink:

Guy: I have a psychic watch, it tells me that you aren't wearing any underwear.

Girl: WHAT?

Guy: Sorry, my watch must be an hour fast.

Guy: I have a psychic watch, it tells me that you aren't wearing any underwear.

Girl: WHAT?

Guy: Sorry, my watch must be an hour fast.
awesome

The worst
1.)Is your father a theif, because it looks like he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.

2.)It seems like your daddy must have gave you a starburst or maybe it was a now or later cause you're the sweetest thing on my mind.

The Best
1.)Can I have your parents' phone number? I have to call your daddy and thank him for spending time with your momma to make something as beautiful as you.

2.)I'd love to make love to every molecule of you and if you want to spontaneously combust that's what we'll do in unison.

3.)G:You know I don't think I'll ever forgive you. C:Why? G:Because you're so wonderful I'd choose hell over heaven just to be around you.

Use these lines at your own risk.

*guy taps thigh*
you only think that's my leg...

Guy: I have a psychic watch, it tells me that you aren't wearing any underwear.

Girl: WHAT?

Guy: Sorry, my watch must be an hour fast.
awesome

I now have a NEW worst line of all time, thats horrible!

horribily funny

<all dressed up like a cop, handling a pair of cuffs> "You're under arrest...for stealing my heart"

Hello virgins.
This one, although borrowed, works wonders.

'Do you live around here often?'

Hello virgins

What, exactly, are you trying to say? :D

"you're a bit of alright...even though you're my second choice"

worst - lets practice our math. lets add you, me, and a bed, subtract the clothes, devide the legs, and try not to multiply.

LOL. I think that's hilarious, and very original... I wonder what would happen if I tried that on a guy...

If I told you I loved you would you sleep with me?
No?
How about if I told you I only had two hours to live and I want to spend them with you?
No?
What if I told you I'm a virgin and you'll be my first?
No?
Fine want a drink?
Yeah?
Let's go. *Makes sure has bottle of date rape pills in pocket*

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water.

I wish I was crosseyed so I could see you twice.

You smell like Fritos that's why I'm giving you this hungry stare

You're so hot, you're gonna melt the elastic in my underwear

You'd look like Venus de Milo if I just cut off your arms

You must have fallen from heaven, that would explain how you messed up your face

Courtesy of Weird Al

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water.

I wish I was crosseyed so I could see you twice.

You smell like Fritos that's why I'm giving you this hungry stare

You're so hot, you're gonna melt the elastic in my underwear

You'd look like Venus de Milo if I just cut off your arms

You must have fallen from heaven, that would explain how you messed up your face

Courtesy of Weird Al

what was Weird Al smoking when he thought of these damn them

damn you people are funny :lol: :lol: :lol:

way to bump a really dead thread, shark... haha.
:lol: 8)

One time in high school I initiated conversation with a girl I liked by asking her if she studied for her tests. Alas, I did not fare well.

you're so fine i bet you'd slip throught a colander!

Me: "Howdy, I'm from Texas."

Girl: "Um, so?"

Me: "Everything's bigger in Texas."

At any shop or bar.

"Would you like a telephone-number with your order???"

a few of the worst ones i've been given:

that skirt looks very becoming on you, then again, if i was on you, i'd be cumming!

hey, i seem to have forgotten my phone number, would you mind lending me yours?

nice legs, what time do they open?

oh! i nearly forgot: is that a mirror in your knickers cos i can see myself in them?

"Do you believe in lust at first sight ?"

"I can compete with ANY of your toys!"

My ears are cold can I borrow your thighs?

Hey don't need that all you need is a daily dose of vitamen me.

tag

tag

A bar in Ottawa...

"Hello, my name is [Stirner]. I'm from Vancouver, and I know asian chicks. And you're the hottest asian chick I've ever seen."

8-Bit Theater has a number of gems. The comic linked and then the next two have the lines.
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010506
http://www.nuklearpower.com/comics/010506.jpg

are you an arsonist? 'cause you sure light my fire.

Tushie

Worst ones: So....you're woman?

*Puts an ice cube on the floor and stamps on it* Well, that's broke the ice.

i've been given another:

'My dear, I'm afraid I may have to charge you with manslaughter, because you've just stopped my heart'

you know who you are! :D