NationStates Jolt Archive

Dontgonearthereism is my new religious/political system. Its a simple form of Democracy.
One man, one vote.
Im the man, I get the vote.
The party rules are simple:
-You vote for me, I dont care if you dont like my ideas, you vote for me.
-Once elected I will kill everybody in the US except for the members of my party with blue hair and blond eyes. Sorry, but we all have to make sacrifices.
-The dead will then be used to construct a massive corpse-pillar, this will serve no real purpose, except possibly to keep people out of my damn country.
-After the corpse-pillar is finished I will raise income tax to %150, you will pay this or I will take your internal organs away until you do.
-Once I have enough money I will begin a breeding program to create the ultimate penguin-rat, this will then be unleashed on the world, causing devastation as people are toboganned down by evil-bird-rats.
-After my world empire is set up all the money in the world will be transfered to me, I will then deal it out as I see fit, if your nice, you might get some, but I doubt it.
-While Im at it I will do a frontal lobotomy on everybody except my personal staff of bikini-chicks and evil Asian midgets with metal hats, as well as anybody else I see fit to spare.
-Once this is finished all of the worlds oxygen will be used to fuel a massive bonfire in celebration of my victory.
-Oh yes, and everybody will worship the god P'tang'Ptang, a three foot tall talking salamander.
Applications for vice-president, secretary of state, General of the Army and chief penguin-rat breeder are currently being accepted.

BOW DOWN OR FACE OUR WRATH!!!!

Can I be the simple yet brave waif waving the flag of your glorious new republic from the top of the barricade when the revolution comes?

George? George Bush? Oh, you sneaky man, you...! :P

Sure, your pay is a cent a day and a new vest on Christmas.
Oh, and you get to keep half of your frontal lobe ;)

SCORE! It always pays to get involved in new political movements right from the start!

Will there be bells on the vest?

-While Im at it I will do a frontal lobotomy on everybody except my personal staff of bikini-chicks and evil Asian midgets with metal hats, as well as anybody else I see fit to spare.


Lunatic.

Everybody knows that the only way to run an evil empire is with a staff of goons comprised entirely of bikini girls with machineguns. This "evil Asian midgets with metal hats" schtick is just Marxist-Leninism under another name.

hey ! this beats alansyism anyday!

-While Im at it I will do a frontal lobotomy on everybody except my personal staff of bikini-chicks and evil Asian midgets with metal hats, as well as anybody else I see fit to spare.


Lunatic.

Everybody knows that the only way to run an evil empire is with a staff of goons comprised entirely of bikini girls with machineguns. This "evil Asian midgets with metal hats" schtick is just Marxist-Leninism under another name.
But the Bikini chicks always get shot up, little Asians only die when they get tricked into grabbing their own hats while stuck to electrical currents or some such device.
Ill make sure I have at least two hundred, since it would be impossible (obviously) for anybody to fool THAT many Asians.
Hell, when I take over India and China Ill turn them ALL into evil-midgets, shoudlnt be too hard, since Im already half-way there ;)

Hell, when I take over India and China Ill turn them ALL into evil-midgets, shoudlnt be too hard, since Im already half-way there ;)

Rather than trying to turn all the Asiatic people into midgets, wouldn't it be cheaper in the long term to issue all non-Asiatics with platform shoes, thus creating the proper disparity of heights without having to resort to expensive surgery on 2 billion plus people?

I could do both. Being an evil dictator who controlls all the worlds money gives certain privleges.

Maybe I could also hang up signs reading:
"Pay your taxes because having all your organs removed while being hung upside down in a pit of scorpions often offends"...

can't have an empire without midgets on the staff :wink:

Yes, but the really important point here is will there be bells on my new vest!?!

I know when I'm being mocked. I have five hundred black robes ready to strike. Honestly probably only fifty of them would do something serious for me. Anyways good joke.

And I'll see you in Hell.*


*IS NOT AN INSULT JUST MY WAY OF SAYING GOODBYE

I know when I'm being mocked. I have five hundred black robes ready to strike. Honestly probably only fifty of them would do something serious for me. Anyways good joke.

And I'll see you in Hell.*


*IS NOT AN INSULT JUST MY WAY OF SAYING GOODBYE

Buh-bye, Chuckles.

I know when I'm being mocked. I have five hundred black robes ready to strike. Honestly probably only fifty of them would do something serious for me. Anyways good joke.

And I'll see you in Hell.*


*IS NOT AN INSULT JUST MY WAY OF SAYING GOODBYE
Who says I was mocking you? I was mocking politics in general, not just Bush, not just Kerry, not just Alawhatsit, but all of politics.
Anyway, who says your little 'party' is even morty of mocking? Your never going to get any office in the US, maybe in Mexico or possibly France, but not here.

...do I see traces of Pratchettism here?

No, none at all. I have never read Terry Pratchett, ever.
Nor have I read Douglas Adams, nor I have ever taken a breath, eaten or trimmed my toenails.

/me looks at your nation name, has a sudden revelation, and bangs my head against the wall again and again.

Consider the fact that my Capitol building is Dontgonearthe Castle ;)

So then, is Dontgoneartheism open to humans, or just vampyres?

Its only open to people with blue hair and blond eyes ;)

Vapmyres with blue hair and blond eyes or just everyone? And do they need cool names like Getrude and Agnes?

No, were not species particular ;)