NationStates Jolt Archive

He got me back a couple weeks ago.

To those of you who don't know who Ape is...

Well, I guess just to be safe, I guess I better summarize who I am.

I am the smallest and craziest of a small circle of friends who enjoy hanging out, playing rugby and beating the hell out of eachother. You know, for fun. :)

Ape accidentally broke my arm last october and I concocted an elaborate revenge, using the forum here as a sounding board for my ideas. In the end, Ape got what was coming to him. Plus some.

Ape swore vengeance. This was a number of months ago. Many here forecast my doom. Ape, as his name suggests is 6'6" and 275lbs. It was suggested that Ape would most likely stomp my balls into the ground.

His revenge was much worse. See, Ape happens to be a chemist working for a major chemical company here in Connecticut. Anyhoo...

About two weeks ago, after messing around with some of the guys on the field we usually play rugby and/or football on, Ape attacks me with a garden hose. Good clean fun, right? Wrong. I don't see the 'Miracle-Gro'-like spray canister on it. I'm drenched in seconds. Then the smell hits me. Like a runaway freight train. It's skunk, but ten times worse. My eyes are burning, and I'm now gagging due to the horrid stench. Ape sprayed me with a very mild solution of butyl mercaptan. It's an industrial solvent. It's also the active ingretient in skunk musk, and one of the foulest smells on the planet. I had just been drenched head-to-toe with it.

After I recovered my bleary-eyed vision enough to try to chase my laughing friends around a bit, I proceeded home to a very angry wife. Angry because even after a tomato sauce shower, it still took several cold nights of sleeping outside in a tent before she declared me fit for human habitation again. Good thing I had some vacation time saved up at work.

Not that I'm recommending it, because Ape informs me that butyl mercaptan is dangerous if mishandled, but that was one of the worst experiences I've ever been through and still managed to laugh about.

ha hah :lol:

Oh thats priceless!!

I warned you not to fool with a chemist!

But at least you have a generous sense of humour, and took it with a chuckle......

Ahh.....freindly manaical revenge is so sweet.......

But you made him piss himself in a body cast :P

But you made him piss himself in a body cast :P

Indeed, I did. 8)

But I ended up standing in my backyard naked in a kiddie pool, dousing myself with tomato sauce and tomato juice.

I think we're even, now.


or are we?

heh heh, nice one LG. oh that cheered me up.

is there anything you can do to him to top that? :P

But you made him piss himself in a body cast :P

Indeed, I did. 8)

But I ended up standing in my backyard naked in a kiddie pool, dousing myself with tomato sauce and tomato juice.

I think we're even, now.


or are we?

your call :P I'd say you got off pretty lightly considering the physical pain he could have gone for :D

your call :P I'd say you got off pretty lightly considering the physical pain he could have gone for :D

It burned my eyes and other sensitive areas pretty badly. Like mace, almost. But I think Ape was trying to out-clever me. I don't know if I'd go that far, but he definitely impressed me. :lol:

Ouch. Here's an odd revenge. Get salt, and salt the grass on his lawn from his gas meter to his house.

If you want a chemical revenge...

Before his next vacation, spray his clothes and/or luggage with the lovely scent of a bitch in estrus, as closely as possible to his departure for the airport. I think veterinary mail-order services have options in this area, in case you don't have a Vet friend like me =).

Ouch. Here's an odd revenge. Get salt, and salt the grass on his lawn from his gas meter to his house.

Heh. It actually took me a second to figure that one out. That's pretty good.

If you want a chemical revenge...

Before his next vacation, spray his clothes and/or luggage with the lovely scent of a bitch in estrus, as closely as possible to his departure for the airport. I think veterinary mail-order services have options in this area, in case you don't have a Vet friend like me =).

Hehehe. If we're gonna do that, we probably ought to slip some erotic adult toys in his luggage too. :D

If you want a chemical revenge...

Before his next vacation, spray his clothes and/or luggage with the lovely scent of a bitch in estrus, as closely as possible to his departure for the airport. I think veterinary mail-order services have options in this area, in case you don't have a Vet friend like me =).

Hehehe. If we're gonna do that, we probably ought to slip some erotic atult toys in his luggage too. :D
Really racy ones, Fists of Fury, blowup sheep and the like.

Remove hubcap off his car, add steel nut, re-attach.

If you want a chemical revenge...

Before his next vacation, spray his clothes and/or luggage with the lovely scent of a bitch in estrus, as closely as possible to his departure for the airport. I think veterinary mail-order services have options in this area, in case you don't have a Vet friend like me =).

Hehehe. If we're gonna do that, we probably ought to slip some erotic atult toys in his luggage too. :D
Really racy ones, Fists of Fury, blowup sheep and the like.

Anal Intruder. Vibrating underwear. Leather restraints. :wink:

Does he have automatic sprinklers? Birds in your city much of a problem? Try sprinkling his lawn with rice crispies. Lawnmowers can't pick them up, they're too small for rakes. Birds come to eat them, and crap all over the place. Sprinklers go off, they get wet and rot.

He got me back a couple weeks ago.

To those of you who don't know who Ape is...

Well, I guess just to be safe, I guess I better summarize who I am.

I am the smallest and craziest of a small circle of friends who enjoy hanging out, playing rugby and beating the hell out of eachother. You know, for fun. :)

Ape accidentally broke my arm last october and I concocted an elaborate revenge, using the forum here as a sounding board for my ideas. In the end, Ape got what was coming to him. Plus some.

Ape swore vengeance. This was a number of months ago. Many here forecast my doom. Ape, as his name suggests is 6'6" and 275lbs. It was suggested that Ape would most likely stomp my balls into the ground.

His revenge was much worse. See, Ape happens to be a chemist working for a major chemical company here in Connecticut. Anyhoo...

About two weeks ago, after messing around with some of the guys on the field we usually play rugby and/or football on, Ape attacks me with a garden hose. Good clean fun, right? Wrong. I don't see the 'Miracle-Gro'-like spray canister on it. I'm drenched in seconds. Then the smell hits me. Like a runaway freight train. It's skunk, but ten times worse. My eyes are burning, and I'm now gagging due to the horrid stench. Ape sprayed me with a very mild solution of butyl mercaptan. It's an industrial solvent. It's also the active ingretient in skunk musk, and one of the foulest smells on the planet. I had just been drenched head-to-toe with it.

After I recovered my bleary-eyed vision enough to try to chase my laughing friends around a bit, I proceeded home to a very angry wife. Angry because even after a tomato sauce shower, it still took several cold nights of sleeping outside in a tent before she declared me fit for human habitation again. Good thing I had some vacation time saved up at work.

Not that I'm recommending it, because Ape informs me that butyl mercaptan is dangerous if mishandled, but that was one of the worst experiences I've ever been through and still managed to laugh about.

The Garden Hose strikes again...