NationStates Jolt Archive

Say your really in love with this guy, but your only 17. And he asked you to marry him on his 18th birthday. Is that to young if you know you want to be with him for the rest of your life?

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal

well hello again. And acutally it's not illegal with parent permission. At least in my great state.

I personally think you should wait until you're at least 24 to get married. I know you love him now, but if you do, you'll still love him then, and the two of you will be sure. Don't be in such a rush. I got married young and regretted it. I was divorced in five years, and while I was a great deal wiser at the end of it, I had also given up five years to it.

dang. 17 seems really young. i would start a debate over whether or not a 17 year old really knows what love is, but il take your word for it. if it really was ment to be, then there would be no harm in holding it off a couple of years.
also, dont go to the same college as this guy just because hes going there. just in case it doesnt work, you dont wanna be stuck at a college that wasnt your first choice.

It does seem very young. But sometimes there can be feelings like that that you wouldn't wanna throw away just because of waiting.

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal
Do you know what you are talking about. In most states you can marry at 16.

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal
Do you know what you are talking about. In most states you can marry at 16.

yeah, if you have permission

16 is too young too.

In fact, most people in my opinion are never mature enough to get married.

There's a lot more to marriage than just loving each other. Better first find out if your love for each other can withstand the reality of living together; dealing with all the pleasant and unpleasant aspects of life while living together can erode even the strongest love I'm afraid, if one of the two, or both, lack the maturity to do so without ducking responsibility.

why now and now later? it dosen't HAVE to be this soon, so why should it be.

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal

Aside from legality issues (and my friend got married at 17, so I know it's not illegal here in Canada, or at least in Ontario), you meant "it's". The contraction for "it is". Not a word that indicates possesion of a gender-neutral object. Please, please, PLEASE, put some care into writing, whether it be for a message board, an e-mail, or a formal letter.

It's just nicer for everyone if you put a little care into what you write.

PS. Sorry about the tirade, but after reading so many poorly thought-out posts, I occaisionally vent, and grammar/spelling is a pet peeve of mine. Though "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" is a GREAT book!

Nobody uses correct grammar around here, seriously.

... thank you for that pointless and off topic post. :roll:

Yeah, I really loved Cocco Puffs when I was 17.....

Alright, that's not actually true (turning the milk brown is creepy....) but you get my point. That rocket arc of change that starts at around 12-13 hasn't even peaked yet. If you're right, then you'll still be right a few years later. You aren't yourself yet. Figure that out first, the rest should fall into place.

/me throws in a Cogitation Penny.

I have to agree with those advocating patience. The late teens and early twenties are a time of significant change, and you want to stabilize a bit before committing to anything lifelong.

I may post something more when I'm not so tired.

--The Democratic States of Cogitation

I don't ever plan on marrying. But if someone is really going to do it, at least live together for a few years before jumping into legal procedures.

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal
Do you know what you are talking about. In most states you can marry at 16.

yeah, if you have permissionYou don't need permission in every state. Each state has its own laws.

Yeah, I really loved Cocco Puffs when I was 17.....

Alright, that's not actually true (turning the milk brown is creepy....) but you get my point. That rocket arc of change that starts at around 12-13 hasn't even peaked yet. If you're right, then you'll still be right a few years later. You aren't yourself yet. Figure that out first, the rest should fall into place.

Mmm... coco-puffs...

Oh wait, you meant the cereal. *pouts*

Yeah, 17 is too early to get married.

Wait until you're at least like 25 to get married. The earlier a marriage starts the more likely it is to end in divource. People change and the soon they get together the more changing there is to do.

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal

Aside from legality issues (and my friend got married at 17, so I know it's not illegal here in Canada, or at least in Ontario), you meant "it's". The contraction for "it is". Not a word that indicates possesion of a gender-neutral object. Please, please, PLEASE, put some care into writing, whether it be for a message board, an e-mail, or a formal letter.

It's just nicer for everyone if you put a little care into what you write.

PS. Sorry about the tirade, but after reading so many poorly thought-out posts, I occaisionally vent, and grammar/spelling is a pet peeve of mine. Though "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" is a GREAT book!

Hey grammar king, you spelt possession and occasionally incorrectly. "The contraction for "it is." is a fragment too.
:evil:
Q

It all depends.
Women are in their prime when they are 17 to 25.
Men don't reach theirs until they are 30. And then when they reach 38 they are no longer in their prime.
Men are better off marrying later and women are better off marrying young.
This is backed by nature, human evolution, and over ten thousand years of human civilization.
Only recently has there been a belief, promoted by religious wackos, that you should only date or marry people who are your exact same age.
Interestingly, couples where the woman is 19 and the man is 32, seem to be having healthier children than other couples, where the man married younger or the woman married later. (This is just an observation and I know of no studies that would explain why this is.) (though I might conjecture that is has something to do with human evolution, but without any studies....)

Yeah, I really loved Cocco Puffs when I was 17.....

Alright, that's not actually true (turning the milk brown is creepy....) but you get my point. That rocket arc of change that starts at around 12-13 hasn't even peaked yet. If you're right, then you'll still be right a few years later. You aren't yourself yet. Figure that out first, the rest should fall into place.

Mmm... coco-puffs...

Oh wait, you meant the cereal. *pouts*

Yeah, 17 is too early to get married.

Wait until you're at least like 25 to get married. The earlier a marriage starts the more likely it is to end in divource. People change and the soon they get together the more changing there is to do.
Its not the age, its the number of previous failed relationships you've been in that determines the likely hood of your marriage failing.
Guys who go through 50 different girls or more are more likely to have a failed marriage than someone who is 25 and has never had a girl friend.
Cause the guy who never had the girlfriend would be more faithful to his wife.

It all depends.
Women are in their prime when they are 17 to 25.
Men don't reach theirs until they are 30. And then when they reach 38 they are no longer in their prime.

Pretty sure you got it backwards...How many 30 yr olds have sperm problems versus 17-25 yr olds?

Who at that age has the slightest clue about what love is? Little girls are growing up with this fantasy image of the 1950s with the house, car, 2 kids, picket fence and the family dog in a nice little neighborhood. That little image is made worse by the fact that a lot of girls are either without a father (being raised by a single mom; I'm not knocking it, since I was raised by a single mom and she was the best) or were ignored by dad and are looking for a replacement: enter dad#2 = hubby. I've had to drop two girls in this age group @18-21 who were hell-bent on getting married. I've been married. It's not easy, and it's not for children. How many 17-year-old males are thinking about marriage? It's generally sports, sex, and school; not in any particular order. For me it was sex, sex, and sex. School bored me, and I hate sports. Anyway, I'm an active anti-marriage voice for anyone around me who will listen, but most of the girls in my area are being programmed to want marriage. Bad move. That leaves them vulnerable to older guys who are a lot smarter and know exactly what to tell them. Sorry, but there are people like that in the world. Learn what love is before considering ending your party life to get murdered... um.... married.


Greywollffe has spoken...

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It all depends.
Women are in their prime when they are 17 to 25.
Men don't reach theirs until they are 30. And then when they reach 38 they are no longer in their prime.

Pretty sure you got it backwards...How many 30 yr olds have sperm problems versus 17-25 yr olds?
That's incorrect, men don't start having sperm problems until they are in their 40's.

it's far too young. at 17 and 18, you're not fully matured, you haven't even gotten to the stage where you've settled into somethign like who you're going to be for the rest of your life. people change in big ways once they start hitting 20, or moving away from home.
you can have a longterm engagement, just don't tie the knot until you've lived away from your parents for a while and separate from your bf.

It all depends.
Women are in their prime when they are 17 to 25.
Men don't reach theirs until they are 30. And then when they reach 38 they are no longer in their prime.

Pretty sure you got it backwards...How many 30 yr olds have sperm problems versus 17-25 yr olds?
That's incorrect, men don't start having sperm problems until they are in their 40's.

he did get it backwards.
the female sexual peak is in the 30's. the male peaks at 18.

it's far too young. at 17 and 18, you're not fully matured, you haven't even gotten to the stage where you've settled into somethign like who you're going to be for the rest of your life. people change in big ways once they start hitting 20, or moving away from home.
you can have a longterm engagement, just don't tie the knot until you've lived away from your parents for a while and separate from your bf.
In that case, marriage should be illegal for everyone under 35.

It all depends.
Women are in their prime when they are 17 to 25.
Men don't reach theirs until they are 30. And then when they reach 38 they are no longer in their prime.

Pretty sure you got it backwards...How many 30 yr olds have sperm problems versus 17-25 yr olds?
That's incorrect, men don't start having sperm problems until they are in their 40's.

he did get it backwards.
the female sexual peak is in the 30's. the male peaks at 18.
No. All the scientific and historic evidence supports my statement.

17 is too young, dear. Trust me.

It all depends.
Women are in their prime when they are 17 to 25.
Men don't reach theirs until they are 30. And then when they reach 38 they are no longer in their prime.

Pretty sure you got it backwards...How many 30 yr olds have sperm problems versus 17-25 yr olds?
That's incorrect, men don't start having sperm problems until they are in their 40's.

he did get it backwards.
the female sexual peak is in the 30's. the male peaks at 18.
No. All the scientific and historic evidence supports my statement.

You didn't answer my original question.

How many 17-25 yr old males have sperm problems IN COMPARISON to 30 yr olds?

(This is my first post and I don't know how to directly copy somone else's post so this is the post someone else had): Its not the age, its the number of previous failed relationships you've been in that determines the likely hood of your marriage failing. Guys who go through 50 different girls or more are more likely to have a failed marriage than someone who is 25 and has never had a girl friend. Cause the guy who never had the girlfriend would be more faithful to his wife.

I completely disagree with this statement. I've know many males from both categories and those that have had more females are much more faithful. They know what else is out there and when they stick with someone it's because they've experiencd other people and know that the one they're with is want they really want. Now for the guys who never had many women I've noticed with my friends that they tend to get this mind set of "oh i found one woman who wants me so i can get more now." They are more likely to cheat because all of these other women are a mystery to them and they want to know what they've missed out on. I'm sure many many people disagree with me on this but I'm simply offering my own experiences with guys i've dated and good male friends of mine. Oh and for the person who believes they are the master of grammar, i have intentionally not capitalized everything that should have been and mispelled a few things. Ain't i annoying? :twisted:

17 is too young, dear. Trust me.
Mentally and in terms of being able to trust your partner, I would agree.
But if we required people to be mentally mature, as I posted elsewhere, marriage would be illegal for everyone under 35.

No. All the scientific and historic evidence supports my statement.

no, all scientific evidence shows that women hit their peak in their 30's and men do in their late teens. you are clearly misinformed. why do you think that male teenagers are stereotyped as being horndogs?

(This is my first post and I don't know how to directly copy somone else's post so this is the post someone else had): Its not the age, its the number of previous failed relationships you've been in that determines the likely hood of your marriage failing. Guys who go through 50 different girls or more are more likely to have a failed marriage than someone who is 25 and has never had a girl friend. Cause the guy who never had the girlfriend would be more faithful to his wife.

I completely disagree with this statement. I've know many males from both categories and those that have had more females are much more faithful. They know what else is out there and when they stick with someone it's because they've experiencd other people and know that the one they're with is want they really want. Now for the guys who never had many women I've noticed with my friends that they tend to get this mind set of "oh i found one woman who wants me so i can get more now." They are more likely to cheat because all of these other women are a mystery to them and they want to know what they've missed out on. I'm sure many many people disagree with me on this but I'm simply offering my own experiences with guys i've dated and good male friends of mine. Oh and for the person who believes they are the master of grammar, i have intentionally not capitalized everything that should have been and mispelled a few things. Ain't i annoying? :twisted:
Wow, you must be living in a bad nieghborhood.

No. All the scientific and historic evidence supports my statement.

no, all scientific evidence shows that women hit their peak in their 30's and men do in their late teens. you are clearly misinformed. why do you think that male teenagers are stereotyped as being horndogs?
No, you are confused. We are talking about two different things.
I am talking about the ability to establish a permanent to semi permanent marital relationship and you are talking about people whose brains are in their peanuses.
Two very different species my dear.

Wow, you must be living in a bad nieghborhood.[/quote]

What makes you say that? The fact that guys actually act like guys around me instead of lying to me in order to get what they want?

(This is my first post and I don't know how to directly copy somone else's post so this is the post someone else had): Its not the age, its the number of previous failed relationships you've been in that determines the likely hood of your marriage failing. Guys who go through 50 different girls or more are more likely to have a failed marriage than someone who is 25 and has never had a girl friend. Cause the guy who never had the girlfriend would be more faithful to his wife.

I completely disagree with this statement. I've know many males from both categories and those that have had more females are much more faithful. They know what else is out there and when they stick with someone it's because they've experiencd other people and know that the one they're with is want they really want. Now for the guys who never had many women I've noticed with my friends that they tend to get this mind set of "oh i found one woman who wants me so i can get more now." They are more likely to cheat because all of these other women are a mystery to them and they want to know what they've missed out on. I'm sure many many people disagree with me on this but I'm simply offering my own experiences with guys i've dated and good male friends of mine. Oh and for the person who believes they are the master of grammar, i have intentionally not capitalized everything that should have been and mispelled a few things. Ain't i annoying? :twisted:


I'll have to disagree with you on the failed marriage thing. I've always been anti-marriage, and when it actually happened (quite by accident, I assure you), it failed due to my unwillingness to remain trapped in the situation. I'd never had sex with anyone until I was 18, and then not with another person until I was 23. Maybe I'm just the exception to the rule. :twisted:


Greywollffe has spoken...

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King of Spades (http://198.70.62.5/home.asp)
It's a Warlock's Life (http://tswarlock.blogspot.com/)
Warlock's Sanctuary (http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/tomwarlock/)

No. All the scientific and historic evidence supports my statement.

no, all scientific evidence shows that women hit their peak in their 30's and men do in their late teens. you are clearly misinformed. why do you think that male teenagers are stereotyped as being horndogs?
No, you are confused. We are talking about two different things.
I am talking about the ability to establish a permanent to semi permanent marital relationship and you are talking about people whose brains are in their peanuses.
Two very different species my dear.

no, you were saying that sperm problems don't develop until their 40's. you said nothing of semi-permanent relationships that i quoted...
i was responding to someone else who clearly had things mixed up with regards to male and female sexual peaks... who you sided with.

It all depends.
Women are in their prime when they are 17 to 25.
Men don't reach theirs until they are 30. And then when they reach 38 they are no longer in their prime.

Pretty sure you got it backwards...How many 30 yr olds have sperm problems versus 17-25 yr olds?
That's incorrect, men don't start having sperm problems until they are in their 40's.

he did get it backwards.
the female sexual peak is in the 30's. the male peaks at 18.
No. All the scientific and historic evidence supports my statement.

You didn't answer my original question.

How many 17-25 yr old males have sperm problems IN COMPARISON to 30 yr olds?
There really is no comparison cause sperm problems don't begin until the average man is about 42 to 43.
Men who are 17 continue to produce the same amount sperm everyday until they reach the age of about 37 to 38 at which point their little sperm factories start to gradually slow down. Not much at first, then it really slows down in the 40's.

Wow, you must be living in a bad nieghborhood.

What makes you say that? The fact that guys actually act like guys around me instead of lying to me in order to get what they want?[/quote]
So you mean no one has ever lied to you?

No. All the scientific and historic evidence supports my statement.

no, all scientific evidence shows that women hit their peak in their 30's and men do in their late teens. you are clearly misinformed. why do you think that male teenagers are stereotyped as being horndogs?
No, you are confused. We are talking about two different things.
I am talking about the ability to establish a permanent to semi permanent marital relationship and you are talking about people whose brains are in their peanuses.
Two very different species my dear.

no, you were saying that sperm problems don't develop until their 40's. you said nothing of semi-permanent relationships that i quoted...
i was responding to someone else who clearly had things mixed up with regards to male and female sexual peaks... who you sided with.
Then why are you talking about people who would think about sex 24 hours a day which is what 17 to 18 year old males do.
Then again, that's why marriages between young men and young women fail. those marriages are based only on sex.

Then why are you talking about people who would think about sex 24 hours a day which is what 17 to 18 year old males do.

because that's the male sexual peak, 18 years old. that's the only mention i've made of 17 and 18 year olds. sexual peak has nothing to do with establishign a semi-permanent relationship.

and actually, marriages between young men and young women usually fail because they have not grown up enough. they have not struck out on their own and become their own people. thus when they start to do so and they start to grow apart, they're screwed.

What's with this marriage deal anyways? Seems like by getting married your just setting yourself up for hurt. If you love someone, live with them, and love them. Why do you need to get married? Why does it have to be official? What's wrong with just enjoying it for what it is rather than trying to change it into something that so often blows up in people's faces? All I've got to say is hurrah Common Law!

Then why are you talking about people who would think about sex 24 hours a day which is what 17 to 18 year old males do.

because that's the male sexual peak, 18 years old. that's the only mention i've made of 17 and 18 year olds. sexual peak has nothing to do with establishign a semi-permanent relationship.

and actually, marriages between young men and young women usually fail because they have not grown up enough. they have not struck out on their own and become their own people. thus when they start to do so and they start to grow apart, they're screwed.
All the evidence contradicts what you are saying. Do you have recent studies to back what you are saying?

yes, getting married at 17 is too young, at least if you think you are doing it for love. if you want to marry somebody to get them a green card or whatever then 17 is plenty old enough. but it's not old enough to have experienced romantic love. here's why:

romantic love is not a chemical possibility for anyone who has not undergone puberty. the chemical reactions that we define as romantic love simply will not occur in the human brain before puberty is almost completely done. this means that a male human will not be physically capable of romantic love until 15 or 16, and a female human until 14 or 15 (on average). however, for romantic love to occur there first is a process of infatuation, which does not give way to actual love for roughly a year of repeated contact. repeated contact with the object of affection over the long term is necessary to cause the chemical shift from producing triggers for lust and infatuation to the more subtle and lasting cocktail of actual love.

this means that at 17 you are very like to not both be biologically capable of actual love, and even if you are you are just BARELY there. in my opinion marriage is a serious business, and if you honor and respect your partner you would ensure that your feelings are love and not just a teen fling by waiting.

after all, what's the bloody hurry? if you really are in love then you can stay together for a few years and marry when you know you can live together and stay together for life. if you're rushing into marriage it usually means you are scared it's not going to last, so you have to seal the deal quickly...that's just plain stupid, no two ways about it.

Then why are you talking about people who would think about sex 24 hours a day which is what 17 to 18 year old males do.

because that's the male sexual peak, 18 years old. that's the only mention i've made of 17 and 18 year olds. sexual peak has nothing to do with establishign a semi-permanent relationship.

and actually, marriages between young men and young women usually fail because they have not grown up enough. they have not struck out on their own and become their own people. thus when they start to do so and they start to grow apart, they're screwed.
All the evidence contradicts what you are saying. Do you have recent studies to back what you are saying?

actually, as far as male sexual peak is concerned, Dakini is backed up by every reputable study i have found. though the window is a bit bigger...males tend to peak from 16 to about 23, though the highest points are usually recorded around 18 years. unless you have disproving evidence, i think you're out of luck.

and here's some other stats i found:

Percentage of people that married under the age of 20 who eventually get divorced as of 1999: 46%

Percentage of people that married over the age of 25 who eventually get divorced as of 1999: 24%

Percentage of teen weddings which occured between conception and the child's birth: 71%
(that means that 71% of teen marriages are "oops" marriages; "oops, we got preggers, better tie the knot!")

that's the US Census Bureau, supplimented by data from American Association for Single People, Ameristat, Public Agenda, and Americans for Divorce Reform.

What's with this marriage deal anyways? Seems like by getting married your just setting yourself up for hurt. If you love someone, live with them, and love them. Why do you need to get married? Why does it have to be official? What's wrong with just enjoying it for what it is rather than trying to change it into something that so often blows up in people's faces? All I've got to say is hurrah Common Law!

if you're going to love someone and live with them then it's often worth it to marry, from a practical point of view. in American there are a whole host of legal benefits to marrying, including financial perks, survivor benefits, and next-of-kin status.

and what about marriage makes you more likely to be hurt? to me, the LOVE is where you take the risk. you get hurt if you lose the one you love, regardless of whether you were married or not, so if you are already taking that risk then why not marry once you are sure of things, to provide extra benefits to your partner?

i'm not saying you should marry as soon as you love somebody, since marriage takes a few more things than love to really make it work, but i don't see why you think that marriage itself is the risk for being hurt.

Everyone who is 17 and feels that they've been in love will swear that they're going to be the exception, that they'll be the couple that beats the odds and manages to stay married. Maybe you will.

But don't expect it to happen. Most of the reasons teen marriages fail have been listed here already, so I won't go into them. Suffice it to say that at 18, most people don't even know what they want to do for their summer vacation, let alone for the rest of their lives.

To the author of this thread, let me give you a couple of examples. I was raised in a strong christian household, taught to believe that marriage is a sacrament and that it was a bond never to be broken. I got married when I was twenty to a woman almost a year older than I was. I thought I was mature. I thought I knew what I was in for. I was sure that it was going to last forever, to the point that after the birth of my daughter a year into the marriage, I got a vasectomy. I've been divorced now for almost nine years, have been in a good, stable, non-marital relationship for the last 4 years and if we want to have kids, it's going to cost a ton of money. The point of that story is that you don't really know what you're going to do with your life even in your twenties. Give yourself some time.

Here's the other story--my little sister was just like you. She'd been dating this guy from the age of 16 and was sure she loved him and wanted to be with him forever. They married 5 days after her 18th brithday. What she didn't know before they married--because neither of them had any real world experience--was that he was really a bum who couldn't keep a job and had no interest in college. She found out later that he had a thing for phone sex lines and when she left him after 6 years of putting up with his shit, he turned into a physically abusive stalker. The point? You don't even know yourself at 18--how can you really know someone else at that age?

You have time--use it to learn about yourself and the wide world you're venturing into.

yeah I believe here as well with parental permission it is ok. I think if you really love someone even at that age sure go for it its not my problem or any of my business anyway I'm not sure what I'd do I'd probably wait a good time before marrying anyone probably in my late 20s sounds good but hey ya never know

Good luck with all this :)

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal

Aside from legality issues (and my friend got married at 17, so I know it's not illegal here in Canada, or at least in Ontario), you meant "it's". The contraction for "it is". Not a word that indicates possesion of a gender-neutral object. Please, please, PLEASE, put some care into writing, whether it be for a message board, an e-mail, or a formal letter.

It's just nicer for everyone if you put a little care into what you write.

PS. Sorry about the tirade, but after reading so many poorly thought-out posts, I occaisionally vent, and grammar/spelling is a pet peeve of mine. Though "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" is a GREAT book!

Hey grammar king, you spelt possession and occasionally incorrectly. "The contraction for "it is." is a fragment too.
:evil:
QLOL!!!

people are so cynical about young love

i dont question that you love each other. of course you do or you wouldnt be contemplating marriage. is it REAL LOVE? is he your SOUL MATE? there is no way to know. it doesnt matter if you are 17 or 75 we are all fools when it comes to love.

my sister got married at 19 and will celebrate her 34th anniversary this year. would anyone have predicted it the day she got marred? HELL NO.
if you marry, will you ever celebrate your 34th anniversay? there is no way to tell.

its the wrong question. the question is not "is this true love?" its "are you ready for marriage now?" its so sad when you take you first real true love and turn it into everylasting hate by marrying when you arent ready.

marriage is a huge responsibility. how good are you at not getting your own way? how good is he? marriage is a constant series of compromises and there are times when you feel like you havent gotten your own way in YEARS.

are you ready to take care of a man? it seems silly in this day to think you take care of your husband, but you DO. 95% of married men dont even buy their own underwear. if you cant remember to change the catbox you arent ready for a husband.

what about your education? its really tough to have the life of a married woman and go to school at the same time.
what if your husband wants to go to a different school than you do?
do you even haven any idea of what you want out of life? does he? do your dreams for the future match up? is he ambitious? is he willing to wait for kids until you go to college (or its equivalent)?

how mature is HE? take a good hard objective look at how he spends his time. is he a serious student? does he have good plans for his future? how much time does he spend playing video games? hanging with friends? drinking, drugging, doing other stupid things? does he have a job now? does he realize he needs one? even in the modern world a man needs to be able to support his family. you will never respect a husband who doesnt make a good living (especially one who cant be bothered to make a good living). lack of respect dooms a marriage.

you have alot of silly fun left to have before you settle down to an adult life. dont rush it. the 2 of you can still love each other without getting married yet.

think of whats best for YOU before you decide. this is one decision that you are allowed to be utterly selfish about.

Hi I turned 18 in Febuary now in May I have just got married, I personally dont think this is too young it depends on the people

17 is too young to be getting married, its illegal

Aside from legality issues (and my friend got married at 17, so I know it's not illegal here in Canada, or at least in Ontario), you meant "it's". The contraction for "it is". Not a word that indicates possesion of a gender-neutral object. Please, please, PLEASE, put some care into writing, whether it be for a message board, an e-mail, or a formal letter.

It's just nicer for everyone if you put a little care into what you write.

PS. Sorry about the tirade, but after reading so many poorly thought-out posts, I occaisionally vent, and grammar/spelling is a pet peeve of mine. Though "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" is a GREAT book!

Hey grammar king, you spelt possession and occasionally incorrectly. "The contraction for "it is." is a fragment too.
:evil:
QLOL!!!While we're at it, "Though "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves" is a GREAT book!" is also a fragment.

How much do you want to bet Kazderibidididad never bitches about someone else's grammar around here again?

Have you ever considered that because god makes our reproductive organs ready for reproduction at a young age that he intended us to have sex at that age. Now since he condones sex before marriage is he not saying that yes you should get married and that you should do so when your young.

What's with this marriage deal anyways? Seems like by getting married your just setting yourself up for hurt. If you love someone, live with them, and love them. Why do you need to get married? Why does it have to be official? What's wrong with just enjoying it for what it is rather than trying to change it into something that so often blows up in people's faces? All I've got to say is hurrah Common Law!

if you're going to love someone and live with them then it's often worth it to marry, from a practical point of view. in American there are a whole host of legal benefits to marrying, including financial perks, survivor benefits, and next-of-kin status.

and what about marriage makes you more likely to be hurt? to me, the LOVE is where you take the risk. you get hurt if you lose the one you love, regardless of whether you were married or not, so if you are already taking that risk then why not marry once you are sure of things, to provide extra benefits to your partner?

i'm not saying you should marry as soon as you love somebody, since marriage takes a few more things than love to really make it work, but i don't see why you think that marriage itself is the risk for being hurt.

And since a lot of marriages are doomed to fail, by getting married you end up with a lot of legal stuff anyways. Who gets what, etc. But hey, I'm a pessimist who will probably never have kids, and certainly doesn't want them (HOney, I'm pregnant: 3 words that will strike fear into my heart, cause me to wake in a cold sweat....) If I get involved seriously, I may or may not move in wiht the person... we'll see.

I'm not saying my way is right. Hell, I'm actually pretty certain it isn't. But it's practical for today's society. I blame the lawyers.

As to the whole love being the thing that sets you up for hurt, I'll have to agree, but marriage just amplifies the hurt.

Have you ever considered that because god makes our reproductive organs ready for reproduction at a young age that he intended us to have sex at that age. Now since he condones sex before marriage is he not saying that yes you should get married and that you should do so when your young.

1. God didn't make our reproductive organs, they developed through natural selection.

2. females are often physically capable of reproduction at 10 years of age. are you really proposing that girls be married off before they hit middle school?

3. just because we are physically able to produce offspring doesn't mean we are in any way equipped to RAISE that offspring. a 16 year old is not even remotely close to capable of being a full and satisfactory parent, i don't care how fertile they are.

4. if God wants you to breed and marry as a teen then He clearly is a sick and twisted being. children of teen parents are twice as likely to commit crimes, fifteen times as likely to experience mental health problems, four times as likely to be abused, 5 times as likely to later abuse a partner of their own, and 3 times as likely to drop out of high school. if God supports those things then i say Hail Satan!


Hi I turned 18 in Febuary now in May I have just got married, I personally dont think this is too young it depends on the people

okay, i'm usually not a stickler about punctuation, grammar, and writing skills, but this one really hurts. you are married, you think you are old enough, yet you cannot form a complete sentence in English? you can't communicate, yet you think you can form a healthy marriage?!

*shudder* kids are stupid. and i would know, i am one.

Have you ever considered that because god makes our reproductive organs ready for reproduction at a young age that he intended us to have sex at that age. Now since he condones sex before marriage is he not saying that yes you should get married and that you should do so when your young.

1. God didn't make our reproductive organs, they developed through natural selection.

2. females are often physically capable of reproduction at 10 years of age. are you really proposing that girls be married off before they hit middle school?

3. just because we are physically able to produce offspring doesn't mean we are in any way equipped to RAISE that offspring. a 16 year old is not even remotely close to capable of being a full and satisfactory parent, i don't care how fertile they are.

4. if God wants you to breed and marry as a teen then He clearly is a sick and twisted being. children of teen parents are twice as likely to commit crimes, fifteen times as likely to experience mental health problems, four times as likely to be abused, 5 times as likely to later abuse a partner of their own, and 3 times as likely to drop out of high school. if God supports those things then i say Hail Satan!


1. That’s true if you are an atheist. So let me rephrase that... Have you ever considered that because Mother Earth (Nature) makes our reproductive organs ready for reproduction at a young age that Nature intended us to have sex at that age.

2. No I’m not proposing that girls be married off before they hit middle school. I am simply stating that according NATURE they are meant to be. It should be pointed out that these kids would be able to take care of their children and go to school if there was the proper support from parents, the community and society in general.

3. I’m afraid that you underestimate the power of maternal instinct. Any person regardless of age or fertility is fully capable of raising and caring for a baby. I feel I should point out that “normal” parents create support groups, have their parents come over and help, and have a secure source of income. I have also personally read countless case studies where children in undeveloped countries care and raise their younger siblings because their parents are dead or working long shifts.

4. Your points about problems that such babies will face are statistics from America (are they not). And so basically invalid for any other country. We should also look at who these kids are... They are often troubled ones that have suffered abuse from parents, are below the poverty line, and have no support from other people and no secure income. One of the problems with the US is the way people treat kids that have kids. People will often think obscure and irrational things about these kids personalities or lifestyles which is only done in order to settle their own discomforts about the subject. Now these problems all boil down to what I brought up in #2. PROPER support from parents, the community and society. If you don’t have these you will probably get some complications.


Hi I turned 18 in Febuary now in May I have just got married, I personally dont think this is too young it depends on the people

okay, i'm usually not a stickler about punctuation, grammar, and writing skills, but this one really hurts. you are married, you think you are old enough, yet you cannot form a complete sentence in English? you can't communicate, yet you think you can form a healthy marriage?!

*shudder* kids are stupid. and i would know, i am one.

Congratulation on being an official ass. Just because someone does not use spellcheck, doesn’t have a degree in English, or maybe is from a country that does not speak English doesn’t mean they can’t communicate and live a prosperous life.

Kids are not stupid (Though an exception could be made for you. But I’d say your narrow-minded not stupid). How would I know? Well I’m also one.

Ooh! score one for Dr. Phill

well... when you're 17, yes, you can be in love.

sure.

but you're still immature, and still constantly changing.

the person who you might think is perfect for you at 17 may not the same person at 25, or 35.

i would say wait for a couple more years... see if you grow well with the person, if you continue to be right for eachother through many different phases.
if all goes well, get the ring and run