NationStates Jolt Archive


Republican National Convention Schedule

Cremerica
31-05-2004, 09:04
REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Freedom Fries served

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children

8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires

9:30 PM break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Carl Rove Lecture: Double-speak Made Simple

10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Squint and Talk Macho
Even When You Feel Squishy Inside

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy

11:10 PM Hillary Clinton PiƱata

11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult

11:30 PM Call EMTs to rev ive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself (Mel Gibson)

12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Over-lord
Greater Valia
31-05-2004, 09:05
yeah, been done before, along with the democrat one
Cremerica
31-05-2004, 09:06
yeah, been done before, along with the democrat one

oh well, now its been done again
Cremerica
31-05-2004, 09:08
good enough to post twice...thats for sure
Earth Confederacy
31-05-2004, 09:21
why you got to flaime us republicans for? What I ever do to you?
Actually Rep. Party Conventions are all about partying with free alcohol and getting your groove on with the girls.
Especially the California state rep. conventions.