NationStates Jolt Archive

What would you do if a friend you'd known for years came out as homosexual?

stop talking to them

Nothing.

That depends:

Is he/she Christian?
Is he/she homosexually attracted to YOU?
Was it really obvious beforehand?

I'd be very scared or I'd just think they were messing with my mind.

I'd try to be supportive, be a friend. It's not as if it changes the person I was friends with. It was there all along, and I like them for the person they are.

if the friend is female, I would ask if I can watch

That depends:

Is he/she Christian?
Is he/she homosexually attracted to YOU?
Was it really obvious beforehand?

I don't know. Explain both possibilities if you like.
You can assume they're not attracted to you.
You can assume it wasn't obvious beforehand.

I wouldn't do much, who cares, if I was friends with them before I knew.. I would be friends with them after I knew.. Whether they prefer men or women says nothing about them as a person. Just says they're Gay..

if the friend is female, I would ask if I can watch :lol:

I'm not in an inviroment that makes it neccisary for my friends to be 'in the closet,' so the friends I have that are gay are 'out' and have been since before I knew them. If there where a friend that I'd had for years who just came out, I can't say it'd be a big deal. It'd be like a friend saying "I have a thing for librarians..."

I'd laugh, do a little dance, and welcome them to the club. And regardless of what gender they were I'd suggest a little test just to be sure they were gay.

No idea. I get the feeling I wouldn't be too happy about it, though.

That depends:

Is he/she Christian?
Is he/she homosexually attracted to YOU?
Was it really obvious beforehand?

I don't know. Explain both possibilities if you like.
You can assume they're not attracted to you.
You can assume it wasn't obvious beforehand.If they weren't Christian, I wouldn't really care, it's their life, and I'm not going to force anything on them. If they were Christian, I'd try to help them... but not in the "Save the fag!!" evangelist way, I'd just be kinda a counsellor or confidant to them.

id wonder why anyone would wait until their 40s to come out of the closet

It happens. A college friend of mine came out. No big deal, he was still the same friend I had known for years. We just didn't discuss our sexual exploits from there on out.

I might be a little hurt that they hadn't trusted me enough to tell me about it sooner, but I would try to be supportive of them.

Nothing. I mean, I didn't do anything when I found out, through AIM, that one of my NS friends was gay. (I had, stupidly, mistook him for a girl)

Does "do something nasty to them" mean....like, sexual things?

If one of my friends came out to me, and he was hot, I'd totally get it on with him.

stop talking to them
gamers......

stop talking to them
gamers......

gamers?

I've been through this already. The only thing it changed was I stopped talking about how much I wanted to fuck some girl(the current conversation). Besides that nothing was different.

Does "do something nasty to them" mean....like, sexual things?

If one of my friends came out to me, and he was hot, I'd totally get it on with him.


but.....are....you....gay?

stop talking to them
gamers......

? :?:

stop talking to them
gamers......

gamers?
Role-players. I spent the early part of the year knee-deep in 'em. Call of Cthulhu is a game based on Lovecraft books that gamers tend to tote around, which GV has a few threads up about now. There are a few types in them, homophobia is one of the streaks (not all by a long shot are, but a lot have nerd-machismo. it's that overwieght guy wearing camo pants, an ill-fitting Airborne shirt and commenting on the minutia of the paint design on an eight-year olds plastic model tank.)
edit:I'm not implying that GV looks like that or picks on kid's tanks-just the type that his posts bring to mind. For all I know GV is a supermodel. Niether is likely.

I have had friends out themselves. No biggy.

Does "do something nasty to them" mean....like, sexual things?


NO. It means 'mean things'.

stop talking to them
gamers......

gamers?
Role-players. I spent the early part of the year knee-deep in 'em. Call of Cthulhu is a game based on Lovecraft books that gamers tend to tote around, which GV has a few threads up about now. There are a few types in them, homophobia is one of the streaks (not all by a long shot are, but a lot have nerd-machismo. it's that overwieght guy wearing camo pants, an ill-fitting Airborne shirt and commenting on the minutia of the paint design on an eight-year olds plastic model tank.)
edit:I'm not implying that GV looks like that or picks on kid's tanks-just the type that his posts bring to mind. For all I know GV is a supermodel. Niether is likely.

in all fairness, i dont roleplay. but i do enjoy books (lovecraft, asimov, and gaiman to name a few) and was it really necessary to attack my personal character? (i do like computer and video games though!)

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?
No, not a crime, just unfortunate.

I might be slightly uncomfortable about it at first, but I wouldn't stop being thier friend or hanging out with them.

I might be slightly uncomfortable about it at first, but I wouldn't stop being thier friend or hanging out with them.

OT: Is your name the name of a town in southern Ireland?

Does "do something nasty to them" mean....like, sexual things?

If one of my friends came out to me, and he was hot, I'd totally get it on with him.


but.....are....you....gay?

Only slightly. :wink:

I can appreciate beauty in either sex.

It wouldnt matter much to me. If the person was a true friend then it wouldnt matter at all. They were homosexual before, and you were fine with it, so why treat them differenty?

I might be slightly uncomfortable about it at first, but I wouldn't stop being thier friend or hanging out with them.

OT: Is your name the name of a town in southern Ireland?

No, but you're close. It's derived from "Gaeltacht" or gaelic-speaking region. There's several of them, in both the North and the Republic.

Bend him/her over and make them change their mind...

Does "do something nasty to them" mean....like, sexual things?

If one of my friends came out to me, and he was hot, I'd totally get it on with him.


but.....are....you....gay?

Only slightly. :wink:

I can appreciate beauty in either sex.

I get scared when a gay person winks.

who somebody does or doesnt like doesnt change who they are. id help them just like any other friend.

It depends on how they came out to me.

if they said "i think i am gay, please help me" and if they were christian, i would probably try to counsel them or something, but i really dont know, it has never happened before.

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?

I'm also uncomfortable around gay men. Men being the key word.

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?

I'm also uncomfortable around gay men. Men being the key word.

Why?

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?

I'm also uncomfortable around gay men. Men being the key word.

Why?

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?

I'm also uncomfortable around gay men. Men being the key word.

I used to be, but not any more.

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?

I'm also uncomfortable around gay men. Men being the key word.

Why?

I'm not uncomfortable around gay women. :wink:

Unless they are like Rosie O donnel

Nothing. They are still the same person that I became friends with, and just because they are more open about their sexual preference doesn't mean anything.

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?

I'm also uncomfortable around gay men. Men being the key word.
Do you really find that women can't control themselves around you? Do you have to walk the streets with your hand over your crotch to keep them from grabing it? Do you come home with a sore butt because the ladies can't seem to pass you without pinching it?

Why in the hell would you think that gay guys would have that problem?

I might be slightly uncomfortable about it at first, but I wouldn't stop being thier friend or hanging out with them.

OT: Is your name the name of a town in southern Ireland?

No, but you're close. It's derived from "Gaeltacht" or gaelic-speaking region. There's several of them, in both the North and the Republic.

Ah, thanks.

Is there really a point to this question? Maybe it's just a way for the poll's creator to see how truly shallow some of their fellow players are. If one of my friends were to 'come out', so to speak, it wouldn't affect me in the least. It's not my life. It wouldn't change my opinion of them. It's a simple matter of acceptance.

'Help them come to terms'? What is that? "Oh, my sad little gay friend. Let me help you deal with this tragic event in your sad life." That's what it seems to say. Now, if it were written 'Help them come to terms if they ask for guidance', or something similar, I think it would be more valid. As it stands, that particular answer seems to me like the view is that homosexuality is a disease like cancer, which it's not.


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I can be a real homophobe sometimes because of my closet case symdrome, so I'd probably have to deal with it and no talk to him for awhile.

'Help them come to terms'? What is that? "Oh, my sad little gay friend. Let me help you deal with this tragic event in your sad life." That's what it seems to say. Now, if it were written 'Help them come to terms if they ask for guidance', or something similar, I think it would be more valid. As it stands, that particular answer seems to me like the view is that homosexuality is a disease like cancer, which it's not.

Yeah, "come to terms" was a pretty bad way to put it. I just meant like help them if they were worried about what people would think, or about what people they knew did think, or any other way it might cause discomfort.

was it really necessary to attack my personal character?
no it wasn't. That's what the edit was about. Though I would question your character based on how you would treat your friends.
im just not comfortable around gay people, is that a crime?

I'm also uncomfortable around gay men. Men being the key word.

Why?

I'm not uncomfortable around gay women. :wink:

Unless they are like Rosie O donnel

Why are you uncomfortable around gay men?

Friend: Squorn, I need to tell you somehting, I'm gay.

Squorn: Meh.

Is there really a point to this question? Maybe it's just a way for the poll's creator to see how truly shallow some of their fellow players are. If one of my friends were to 'come out', so to speak, it wouldn't affect me in the least. It's not my life. It wouldn't change my opinion of them. It's a simple matter of acceptance.

'Help them come to terms'? What is that? "Oh, my sad little gay friend. Let me help you deal with this tragic event in your sad life." That's what it seems to say. Now, if it were written 'Help them come to terms if they ask for guidance', or something similar, I think it would be more valid. As it stands, that particular answer seems to me like the view is that homosexuality is a disease like cancer, which it's not.


Greywollffe has spoken...

Nicely said. I agree.

I'm also uncomfortable around gay men. Men being the key word.

I used to be, but not any more.

I used to be as well. Realising how many people are gay (10% or so IIRC) brings it into better perspective.

I would do very little

I would do very little

Meh.

I've seen people use this term before. What does it mean?


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King of Spades (http://198.70.62.5/home.asp)
It's a Warlock's Life (http://tswarlock.blogspot.com/)

Meh.

I've seen people use this term before. What does it mean?


Greywollffe has spoken...

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King of Spades (http://198.70.62.5/home.asp)
It's a Warlock's Life (http://tswarlock.blogspot.com/)

I think I'm going to get really sick of that really fast...

Only thing I'd do is make sure there are at least 5 people between me and him at the locker room...

and that's already given, so nothing really.

Meh.

I've seen people use this term before. What does it mean?


Greywollffe has spoken...

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King of Spades (http://198.70.62.5/home.asp)
It's a Warlock's Life (http://tswarlock.blogspot.com/)

Are you a robot?

Meh.

I've seen people use this term before. What does it mean?


Just an expression of more or less indifference.

Meh.

I've seen people use this term before. What does it mean?


way of saying *shrug* without do it. sorta.

Meh.

I've seen people use this term before. What does it mean?


way of saying *shrug* without do it. sorta.

Are you a robot?

Que? What is that supposed to mean?


Greywollffe has spoken...

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King of Spades (http://198.70.62.5/home.asp)
It's a Warlock's Life (http://tswarlock.blogspot.com/)

I've seen people use this term before. What does it mean?


Greywollffe has spoken...

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King of Spades (http://198.70.62.5/home.asp)
It's a Warlock's Life (http://tswarlock.blogspot.com/)

I think I'm going to get really sick of that really fast...

Agreed.

the madalion thing is kinda creepy.

Something nasty.

Involving leather, handcuffs, a lot of lube, and a little whip maybe. :twisted:

I'd help them deal with it if they were having trouble accepting it

the madalion thing is kinda creepy.

It's nothing special. Just the symbol for Hydra, a multi-national subversive group formed to take over the world. The multiple arms signify Hydra's (yes, based on the Greek mythological creature of the same name) ability to rebuild after any defeat. They are opposed by S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nick Fury, for anyone who's read Marvel Comics (http://www.marvel.com).


Greywollffe has spoken...

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King of Spades (http://198.70.62.5/home.asp)
It's a Warlock's Life (http://tswarlock.blogspot.com/)

Alright it's offical, Grey is a robot.

What would you do if a friend you'd known for years came out as homosexual?Ask them what took them so long. My experience has been that by the time someone gets the nerve to come out, all his/her friends have subconsciously known for years and were wondering what all the fuss was about.

the madalion thing is kinda creepy.

It's nothing special. Just the symbol for Hydra, a multi-national subversive group formed to take over the world. The multiple arms signify Hydra's (yes, based on the Greek mythological creature of the same name) ability to rebuild after any defeat. They are opposed by S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nick Fury, for anyone who's read Marvel Comics (http://www.marvel.com).


Greywollffe has spoken...

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King of Spades (http://198.70.62.5/home.asp)
It's a Warlock's Life (http://tswarlock.blogspot.com/)

Hey, you know, you're really really special! You get a gold star! *runs*

What would you do if a friend you'd known for years came out as homosexual?Ask them what took them so long. My experience has been that by the time someone gets the nerve to come out, all his/her friends have subconsciously known for years and were wondering what all the fuss was about.

You know, that's an excellent point, and true from what I've observed. Though I'd probably still be uncomfortable if they started telling me about their dating experiences. At first, anyway.

stop talking to them
gamers......

gamers?
Role-players. I spent the early part of the year knee-deep in 'em. Call of Cthulhu is a game based on Lovecraft books that gamers tend to tote around, which GV has a few threads up about now. There are a few types in them, homophobia is one of the streaks (not all by a long shot are, but a lot have nerd-machismo. it's that overwieght guy wearing camo pants, an ill-fitting Airborne shirt and commenting on the minutia of the paint design on an eight-year olds plastic model tank.)
edit:I'm not implying that GV looks like that or picks on kid's tanks-just the type that his posts bring to mind. For all I know GV is a supermodel. Niether is likely.

the more i think of this the more it bothers me :?

What would you do if a friend you'd known for years came out as homosexual?


well eventually we fooled around :wink:

well eventually we fooled around :wink:

Go for it. Everyone should be having fun. :D


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well, one of my friends has been finding himself for some time. he went aroudn for a while saying he was gay, then straight, then bi, now he's back to being gay.
i try to keep up with what he's figured out, sometimes he neglects to tell me as we dont' speak very often (nothing to do with his sexuality)
but yeah. last time he said he was gay and was standing by it, i told him congratualtions for figuring it out.

so yeah, i don't really care, so long as my friends are happy.

What would you do if a friend you'd known for years came out as homosexual?

Start/stop hitting on him/her. Well probably not stop hitting on her, but lessen the frequency.

Actually it's kinda a relief when someone who's been rejecting you for years tells you they're gay, it kinda makes you feel better about never getting anywhere with them.

Seriously, it depends on the individual. There can be some pretty hefty penalties to coming out of the closet and some people aren't ready to pay them. Some people can come out without any significant effect on them and more power to them, but most of those who are deep in the closet are there for reasons.

Actually it's kinda a relief when someone who's been rejecting you for years tells you they're gay, it kinda makes you feel better about never getting anywhere with them.

I wish someone would tell me that every girl in high school was gay. That would make me feel like less of a loser. :roll:


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well eventually we fooled around :wink:

Go for it. Everyone should be having fun. :D


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(ooc)yeah, but it ended up making things awkward between us, i'm primarily straight and he was gay, and after we fooled around i didn't feel as comfortable around him. i always felt compelled to set him up with other gay friends so i wouldn't have to deal with the issue of a continuing sexual relationship i didn't want.

(ooc)yeah, but it ended up making things awkward between us, i'm primarily straight and he was gay, and after we fooled around i didn't feel as comfortable around him. i always felt compelled to set him up with other gay friends so i wouldn't have to deal with the issue of a continuing sexual relationship i didn't want.

Point taken (pun intended). 8)


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if my friend came out, i probably would throw him into a pit of lions.

if my friend came out, i probably would throw him into a pit of lions.

Gay lions?

i actually had a friend come out to me once.

so i told him that i was 100% supportive, his being gay didn't matter at all, and that he should do whatever's comfortable for him. it was one of those "awww" moments, because it's flattering that he trusts me that much. and i haven't told anyone, because it's his business, and if he's comfortable telling anyone else he will, and if he doesn't, that's fine too.

if my friend came out, i probably would throw him into a pit of lions.

Gay lions?
it's only human

LMAO!!! Gay lions. "I simply must have my mane permed."


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Hmmm. Obviously Kis has some kind of ... mind ... thing. Damn, I should sleep.

the more i think of this the more it bothers me :?Shake it off, it wasn't personal. Just an impression. I even gave the caveat that you probably wheren't what I described.

the more i think of this the more it bothers me :?Shake it off, it wasn't personal. Just an impression. I even gave the caveat that you probably wheren't what I described.
i dont care. its just nagging at me. now ill probably stop reading lovecraft, stop playing games. and hate myself for about a week :(

the more i think of this the more it bothers me :?Shake it off, it wasn't personal. Just an impression. I even gave the caveat that you probably wheren't what I described.
i dont care. its just nagging at me. now ill probably stop reading lovecraft, stop playing games. and hate myself for about a week :(


do what makes you happy, if you let the judgement of others determine your lifestyle you'll aways be a poser. and always remember what my college girlfriend said, "yeah most of the punks i know would be playing alot of d&d if they weren't too busy spiking their hair."(this was the late 80s mind you)

the more i think of this the more it bothers me :?Shake it off, it wasn't personal. Just an impression. I even gave the caveat that you probably wheren't what I described.
i dont care. its just nagging at me. now ill probably stop reading lovecraft, stop playing games. and hate myself for about a week :(


do what makes you happy, if you let the judgement of others determine your lifestyle you'll aways be a poser. and always remember what my college girlfriend said, "yeah most of the punks i know would be playing alot of d&d if they weren't too busy spiking their hair."(this was the late 80s mind you)


meh

if my friend came out i would stick a snake up his ass and let him enjoy the pleasures of REALLY being anally eaten out.

meh

well never mind what she said then, she dumped me and became a classics professor, what does she know.

...well I had someone attempt to come out to me...after 3 hours of yapping on he still didn't say it and I had to go.

I don't like the person at all and he does not like me either (which makes me wonder why the heck he tried to tell me - sympathy???) and he doesn't like the quick witted remarks that "accidentally" fly from my mouth every so often in front of people...

:twisted:

if my friend came out i would stick a snake up his ass and let him enjoy the pleasures of REALLY being anally eaten out.

So you are a sadist, basically? Get turned on by violence?

if my friend came out i would stick a snake up his ass and let him enjoy the pleasures of REALLY being anally eaten out.

So you are a sadist, basically? Get turned on by violence?

no not really, but i enjoy seeing people get pissed on. i think its bloody hilarious.

Only thing I'd do is make sure there are at least 5 people between me and him at the locker room...

and that's already given, so nothing really.

HAHA...

How insensitive of you. What about the guys on either side of him :lol:

Seriously...who cares...worried he fancies you?

...But I am glad we don't have communal shower/change rooms around here.

What would you do if a friend you'd known for years came out as homosexual?

"Get back in there!" <points towards the closet which has been forced open>...

<gay friend looks down at shoes with a tear falling from his face>

"Ok, I am sorry. I will go back in now" <walks back into the closet, head hung in shame>...

<door slams shut...sulking can be heard>

eh?

In the couple times that friends of mine have decided to "come out," I basically just said "ok" and then continued talking about whatever we were talking about before.

sniff the sheets?

Why is there no poll option 'Hold a party'?

Does "do something nasty to them" mean....like, sexual things?

If one of my friends came out to me, and he was hot, I'd totally get it on with him.

:D

When I came out to my friends none of them really cared much about it. Today we can even talk and joke about it. I think we're all closer friends because of it.

If my friend was a guy, I'd encourage him... more women for me! If it is a worman look really sad.

Only thing I'd do is make sure there are at least 5 people between me and him at the locker room...

and that's already given, so nothing really.

Yes, because 'gay' also means 'sexually out of control'. And, given you're attitude, 'totally lacking in taste in men'.

Only thing I'd do is make sure there are at least 5 people between me and him at the locker room...

and that's already given, so nothing really.

Yes, because 'gay' also means 'sexually out of control'. And, given you're attitude, 'totally lacking in taste in men'.

Indeed. Why is it that many straight guys, once they find out another guy is gay, automatically assume the gay guy in interested in them?! News flash: WE'RE NOT! (I can't speak for all gays, of course; there will always be sex-crazed morons on both sides of the fence.)

Only thing I'd do is make sure there are at least 5 people between me and him at the locker room...

and that's already given, so nothing really.

Yes, because 'gay' also means 'sexually out of control'. And, given you're attitude, 'totally lacking in taste in men'.

Indeed. Why is it that many straight guys, once they find out another guy is gay, automatically assume the gay guy in interested in them?! News flash: WE'RE NOT! (I can't speak for all gays, of course; there will always be sex-crazed morons on both sides of the fence.)

Well, when a woman shoots me a look the first thing that crosses my mind is that she's checking me out. Would you like me to alter my thought process about you based soley on your sexuallity?
jk

But yea I've actually had a friend get really POed at me beacause when she came out I didn't do much and it was very emotional for her because I kinda like to play my cards close to my vest so she didn't really know how I'd take it. (she probably wasn't to impressed with my "So your gay, what, do you want a cookie?" It realy wasn't a huge thing to me.)

Indeed. Why is it that many straight guys, once they find out another guy is gay, automatically assume the gay guy in interested in them?! News flash: WE'RE NOT! (I can't speak for all gays, of course; there will always be sex-crazed morons on both sides of the fence.)

You can speak for me, if not for the rest of thw world. Seriously, sometime straight males are so very self-centered. They think everyone from straight females to gay men going by lesbians and bisexuals are attracted to them.

Somebody clearly doesn't have a self-esteem problem :roll: :lol:

You can speak for me, if not for the rest of thw world. Seriously, sometime straight males are so very self-centered. They think everyone from straight females to gay men going by lesbians and bisexuals are attracted to them.



Do you say they are not?! (ok, bad joke)

I have a friend who "came out" few years ago and I have to admit that it was kind of a slight shock for me 'cause I never would have expected that and it took some time to get used to it. But all in all not much changed and we're still good friends.
So I'd say if this should happen again (and my friend isn't interested in me in a sexual way) there would be no need for any reaction. It's his way of life, not mine. Who cares?