NationStates Jolt Archive

Some folks complain that western societies have far too much sexual imagery & discussion in primetime media and in public. This, they say, exposes children to sex far too early and thwarts parents' rights to instill proper values in them. These Social Conservatives conclude that teenage promiscuity and other social problems are the result of an "Over-Sexualized" society.

In contrast Social Liberals believe that most sex is healthy and inherently good. They feel that a mature & advanced society will openly celebrate sex as a healthy thing, and be tolerant of a wide range of sexual expression. This viewpoint believes that censoring or condemning sex creates harmful ignorance and unhealthy attitudes about it. Problems like teen pregnancy, homophobia and STDs are worsened by ignorance & hypocrisy, say the Social Liberals.

It's unlikely that many of us are entirely of one of these viewpoints or the other; probably most views are somewhere in-between.

Is this a bad thing?

What's wrong with sex? You want the human race to die out? What's wrong with you you bastard? Lean over here so I can slap you.

Is this a bad thing?

Not at all!

I stand more on the "Sex is inherently good and should not be taboo" end of the specter. However, what I DO deplore is not that sex is present in our media and society, but rather how it is portrayed.

Sex should be shown as a tender and physical mafiestation of love between two persons. I believe sex and love should always be tied together - or at the very least sex and affection. Unfortunately, the currect depiction of sexuality is that of an unloving, uncaring physical act. Something to get rid of your horniness. It's impersonnal, superficial, and promotes the idea that sex involves only you and is a way to satisfy egoistical urges. It gives the impression the partner(more often than not the woman) is an object to be used and then discarded. It's this vision of sexuality I disagree with.

Otherwise, should I see nudity, erotic or sexually suggestive content in a context of mature, emotionnally involved partners, be they straight, gay, bisexual, married or not married, beautiful or ugly, I would absolutely not scandalized. In fact I think it would be more positive to see two average-looking, loving individual in a movie or serie instead of two sculptural teenage models who just met getting it on for the sheer fun of superficial sex.

Sex doesn't have to be about love, sex can be about "Jesus Christ, I'm horny.....hey, you're attractive, let's get it on."

As long as you're careful, I see nothing wrong with it.

Besides, they wouldn't constantly portray sex in media if people didn't like it. Obviously people like sex, so why should it be censored?

SEx is good.

Sexualizing everything, especially with ads, is tiresome and feels erosive.

I get weary seeing third and fourth graders in high heels, slathered with makeup, thinking they're all that, what ever happened to childhood?

The U.S. needs more sex. Damn conservatives, holding us back. :evil:

It is pretty hard to tell your kids to wait till marriage for sex while watching the final episode of friends... or any episode of any non-disney show these days.

The only christian-safe channels are no fun...

Fundamentalists and transhumanists alike encourage hatred of the human body.

-----------------------------------------
"But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality."
Free your mind! (http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archives/bright/berkman/comanarchism/whatis_toc.html)
I like big butts!

http://img63.photobucket.com/albums/v193/eddy_the_great/steatopygia.jpg

Sex happens, it's just human nature. All we can do is prevent problems like unintentional pregnancy and sexually-transmitted-diseases.

Now, don't go extremifying my words now, I'm not saying we should put pron on daytime tv or anything, I'm just saying you can't just prohibit sex, and trying to do so would not be right.

Edit-Addition: As for thinking of the children - that's what parenting is for. It's not the government's place.

It is pretty hard to tell your kids to wait till marriage for sex while watching the final episode of friends... or any episode of any non-disney show these days.

The only christian-safe channels are no fun...

Maybe from the lack of sex? :P

Fundamentalists and transhumanists alike encourage hatred of the human body.

What's a "Transhumanist"?

Is our society over-sexualized? Yes and no.

I have no problem with sexuality being discussed or displayed. What I do have a problem with is the very narrow spectrum of sexuality that we see. Apparently only young, skinny gym-bunnies have sex, or can be viewed as sexual beings.

I'm sorry, but I beg to differ. Old people are sexual. Fat people are sexual. Ugly people are sexual. Sexuality is part of the human condition, and we are all human.

Recently Kathy Bates and Diane Keaton took off their clothes in the movies. (Both got nekkid with Jack Nicholson, incidentally. That man gets around!) Somehow, this was big news. "Ms. Keaton, how do you feel appearing nude at the age of fifty-something?" I imagine she feels as she should...like an actress doing her job, and like a very appealing woman, as well. Same for Kathy Bates...if talented, confident and funny isn't the definition of sexy, I don't know what is. (Funny how our man Jack wasn't asked how he felt about his own geriatric nudity.)

So, here's our dilemma, friends. Sex is everywhere. It's shown as desirable, and more. It's shown as the apex of human experience. To be sexy is to have value. However, that value is denied to a large portion of the population. We have to be thinner, have to look better, have to look younger. We risk our lives getting our stomachs stapled and our fat sucked out. We spend millions each year smearing goop on our faces, ripping the hair out of our legs or gluing it back on our heads. We fall short of the ideal, and we buy buy buy to try to reach it.

Well, baloney. Short or tall, fat or skinny, young or old, we are all sexy.

Go get 'em, tiger. :wink:

Sex should be shown as a tender and physical mafiestation of love between two persons. I believe sex and love should always be tied together - or at the very least sex and affection.

I don't think sex always has to be all soft, lovey-dovey and rosepetals - sometimes you might want some real heat, strength and even mutual aggression. But the idea of sex between people who plainly don't even slightly like/admire/respect each other is kinda gross to me too - and I don't think it serves society at all well to depict that too commonly.

Unfortunately, the currect depiction of sexuality is that of an unloving, uncaring physical act. Something to get rid of your horniness. It's impersonnal, superficial, and promotes the idea that sex involves only you and is a way to satisfy egoistical urges. It gives the impression the partner(more often than not the woman) is an object to be used and then discarded.

You see this taken to its extreme in porn. Even though I do like certain porn, I always look for that ultra-rarest of things in it: *authentic-looking SMILES*. You hardly ever see true smiles & fun in porn; instead you too often see grim frowns or vacant expressions as if the performers can't stand each other and care only about the "money-shot" - with the emphasis on the money. And while you'd only expect this in porn, I'm noticing this grim sexual attitude increasingly being depicted in primetime entertainment & advertising too.

In fact I think it would be more positive to see two average-looking, loving individual in a movie or serie instead.

Agreed, but why always limit a depiction to only two people? :wink:

A more urgent question would be: Has society become too violent?

A more urgent question would be: Has society become too violent?

Great question - I look forward to you opening a new thread for it.

A more urgent question would be: Has society become too violent?

Great question - I look forward to you opening a new thread for it.

No need - I already have the answer.

Is our society over-sexualized? Yes and no.

I have no problem with sexuality being discussed or displayed. What I do have a problem with is the very narrow spectrum of sexuality that we see. Apparently only young, skinny gym-bunnies have sex, or can be viewed as sexual beings.

I'm sorry, but I beg to differ. Old people are sexual. Fat people are sexual. Ugly people are sexual. Sexuality is part of the human condition, and we are all human.

Recently Kathy Bates and Diane Keaton took off their clothes in the movies. (Both got nekkid with Jack Nicholson, incidentally. That man gets around!) Somehow, this was big news. "Ms. Keaton, how do you feel appearing nude at the age of fifty-something?" I imagine she feels as she should...like an actress doing her job, and like a very appealing woman, as well. Same for Kathy Bates...if talented, confident and funny isn't the definition of sexy, I don't know what is. (Funny how our man Jack wasn't asked how he felt about his own geriatric nudity.)

So, here's our dilemma, friends. Sex is everywhere. It's shown as desirable, and more. It's shown as the apex of human experience. To be sexy is to have value. However, that value is denied to a large portion of the population. We have to be thinner, have to look better, have to look younger. We risk our lives getting our stomachs stapled and our fat sucked out. We spend millions each year smearing goop on our faces, ripping the hair out of our legs or gluing it back on our heads. We fall short of the ideal, and we buy buy buy to try to reach it.

Well, baloney. Short or tall, fat or skinny, young or old, we are all sexy.

Go get 'em, tiger. :wink:

I disagree.

Fat people are not sexy to me, they may be sexy to other people, and that's fine, but don't force me to want to have sex with them.

Sorry, I just don't like fat chics.

I stand more on the "Sex is inherently good and should not be taboo" end of the specter. However, what I DO deplore is not that sex is present in our media and society, but rather how it is portrayed.

Sex should be shown as a tender and physical mafiestation of love between two persons. I believe sex and love should always be tied together - or at the very least sex and affection. Unfortunately, the currect depiction of sexuality is that of an unloving, uncaring physical act. Something to get rid of your horniness. It's impersonnal, superficial, and promotes the idea that sex involves only you and is a way to satisfy egoistical urges. It gives the impression the partner(more often than not the woman) is an object to be used and then discarded. It's this vision of sexuality I disagree with.

Otherwise, should I see nudity, erotic or sexually suggestive content in a context of mature, emotionnally involved partners, be they straight, gay, bisexual, married or not married, beautiful or ugly, I would absolutely not scandalized. In fact I think it would be more positive to see two average-looking, loving individual in a movie or serie instead of two sculptural teenage models who just met getting it on for the sheer fun of superficial sex.

Thanks, you just saved me the trouble of typing that. :lol:

I belive that sex is not a bad thing, and is full and plesant part of being human. However, by it's very nature it is a very private thing. I don't think sex is bad, but I do object to how it's just out everywhere in popular culture. It just de-sensitizes you to sex to see it everywhere.

It's like, dammit, I see a near-naked female body these days and don't bat an eye beacuse I see that slapped up on every TV commercial and billboard. That just sucks.

If anything it's not sexualised enough.

I believe there is something inherently screwed up about a society far more willing to show violence than sex. In fact the US is probably even more repressed sexually than the UK. Remember that business with Janet Jackson?

The response to that was, frankly, pathetic.

I belive that sex is not a bad thing, and is full and plesant part of being human. However, by it's very nature it is a very private thing. I don't think sex is bad, but I do object to how it's just out everywhere in popular culture. It just de-sensitizes you to sex to see it everywhere.

But perhaps society was heavily *over-sensitized* to sex in earlier times because it was treated as so taboo. Perhaps what you call being "de-sensitized" is just a more healthy state of matter-of-factness about sex.

And should sex be always thought of as "a private thing"? That would imply that we should not be publicly discussing or celebrating it at all.

I don't think sex always has to be all soft, lovey-dovey and rosepetals - sometimes you might want some real heat, strength and even mutual aggression. But the idea of sex between people who plainly don't even slightly like/admire/respect each other is kinda gross to me too - and I don't think it serves society at all well to depict that too commonly.

Well, I might've sounded a little more corny than I wanted to. I've got nothing against hot steamy sex, really. :twisted:

I just meant to say it would be a more positive depiction than we we have at the moment. Which isn't to say everything should be lovey-dovey and rosepetal: you can be in love and have rough sex, if that's what you're into. But right now we get the rough/impersonnal sex without ever hinting at love or mutual respect or affection before or after the act. That's what saddens me.


You see this taken to its extreme in porn. Even though I do like certain porn, I always look for that ultra-rarest of things in it: *authentic-looking SMILES*. You hardly ever see true smiles & fun in porn; instead you too often see grim frowns or vacant expressions as if the performers can't stand each other and care only about the "money-shot" - with the emphasis on the money. And while you'd only expect this in porn, I'm noticing this grim sexual attitude increasingly being depicted in primetime entertainment & advertising too.


Indeed, and I had porn in mind when I wrote of that. Smiles, laughter, giggles, horsing around, etc. are all part of the fun while having sex, but you never see it, just like you mentionned. And the reason why it's depicted in entertainment and advertising is because that sort of free sex sells. Unfortunately, it's a very dehumanizing way of viewing sexual intercourse.


Agreed, but why always limit a depiction to only two people? :wink:

All right, all right, I stand corrected. That statement was an involuntary one based on the fact that I've only ever had sex with one partner at a time, and I did not want by any means to imply that sex can only be between two poeple. Don't get me a reputation of being monosexist ;)

It is pretty hard to tell your kids to wait till marriage for sex while watching the final episode of friends... or any episode of any non-disney show these days.

The only christian-safe channels are no fun...

Not really. My mother never told me to wait for marriage or love, because she knew in the end it would be my decision. However, she did encourage me to wait until I knew I was ready. She also pointed out more than once and made sure I understood that sex between two people that are in love is much better than emotionless sex. And despite never having what I watched/listened to/etc censored, I waited until I met a man I was willing to pledge my life to before entering a sexual relationship. He unfortunately turned out to be a jerk, but my second serious relationship has turned out much better. My boyfriend and I are not married yet, but are buying a house together and have plans for marriage later on down the road.

In reality, the best way to teach your children morals is to (a) realize that in the end, they will make their own decisions and (b) encourage them towards your viewpoint, but make sure they know you are open and someone they can talk to (in other words no "I'll kick you out of the house if you have sex").

I belive that sex is not a bad thing, and is full and plesant part of being human. However, by it's very nature it is a very private thing. I don't think sex is bad, but I do object to how it's just out everywhere in popular culture. It just de-sensitizes you to sex to see it everywhere.

It's like, dammit, I see a near-naked female body these days and don't bat an eye beacuse I see that slapped up on every TV commercial and billboard. That just sucks.

It's a plot by Viagra and Levitra! We're all desensitized, so now we need their drugs! Insidious, emperor Ming!

I disagree.

Fat people are not sexy to me, they may be sexy to other people, and that's fine, but don't force me to want to have sex with them.

Sorry, I just don't like fat chics.

you miss the point. everyone has their own preferences and no one can force attraction on anyone else.

people are sexy TO THEMSELVES no matter what their body may be like. to deny the possibilty that a fat person can be sexy to themselves and to other people, whether or not you find them attractive, is wrong. its not just young skinny beautiful people who have sex, everyone does and everyone has the potential of having a really good time with it.

I haven't really noticed society as a whole being any more sexual than it used too. We just aren't hiding our sexuality as much.

The mass media...well that's another story entirely.

Has Society Become TOO Sexualized?

no

Any comment on the factoid that the US and UK out of all the western democracies have pretty much the highest levels of unplanned teenage pregnancies ?

My 2 cents is that most of the rest of Europe has a much healthier attitude to sexuality for the most part ... I can't actually get my head round those pressure groups that decry Sex Education in schools as evil/corrupting and lament teen pregnancies in the VERY SAME same breath. Are they hypocrites or just thick as two short planks ?

Also much amused by resent USA'ian (and a few UK'ians) 'no sex before marriage' alternative message for teenagers. Would have been laughed out of my old school in seconds flat .... no grasp on reality whatsoever there :roll: Teenagers are walking hormones the world over.

IMHO the Dutch have it right - good sex education + openess + chilled out attitude.

I disagree.

Fat people are not sexy to me, they may be sexy to other people, and that's fine, but don't force me to want to have sex with them.

Sorry, I just don't like fat chics.

you miss the point. everyone has their own preferences and no one can force attraction on anyone else.

people are sexy TO THEMSELVES no matter what their body may be like. to deny the possibilty that a fat person can be sexy to themselves and to other people, whether or not you find them attractive, is wrong. its not just young skinny beautiful people who have sex, everyone does and everyone has the potential of having a really good time with it.

A great orgasm knows no body shape :D

I really think that anyone who is more worried about the effects of sex on our society than violence needs to revaluate their priorities. That's just my opinion, but seriously now.

Orgy-porgy, Ford and fun,
Kiss the girls and make them One.
Boys at One with girls at peace;
Orgy-porgy gives release.

:D

I think the U.S. has become a lot more open to sexuality than they were previously. Although I think this to be a great step in the direction of awareness there are two things that are just straight out BAD.

1) Although sexuality has become more accepted (not just homosexuality, but sexuality in general) it's more about having sex and sexual behaviors and not being aware of the consequences or the preventive measures that need to be taken. We have a soaring increase in STDS and HIV because people don't have safe sex. Gosh, sex is great and all, but who the hell wants to get an STD? I just took a human sexuality class and we went over arousal, relationships, etc. THEN we went over contraceptives and STDS. Ehhh....

2) Too many young girls, the average being around 12, become sexually active or dress like a miniature Britney Spears. I don't have anything against her, just the parents that allow their kids to dress like her. I mean she's in her 20s. That's a bit of an age gap. Or the ones that don't explain the differences in age and expectation. Geez.

If you disagree or have anything to say to me, just send me a telegram, lol.

I think the U.S. has become a lot more open to sexuality than they were previously. Although I think this to be a great step in the direction of awareness there are two things that are just straight out BAD.

1) Although sexuality has become more accepted (not just homosexuality, but sexuality in general) it's more about having sex and sexual behaviors and not being aware of the consequences or the preventive measures that need to be taken. We have a soaring increase in STDS and HIV because people don't have safe sex. Gosh, sex is great and all, but who the hell wants to get an STD? I just took a human sexuality class and we went over arousal, relationships, etc. THEN we went over contraceptives and STDS. Ehhh....

2) Too many young girls, the average being around 12, become sexually active or dress like a miniature Britney Spears. I don't have anything against her, just the parents that allow their kids to dress like her. I mean she's in her 20s. That's a bit of an age gap. Or the ones that don't explain the differences in age and expectation. Geez.

If you disagree or have anything to say to me, just send me a telegram, lol.

What's a "Transhumanist"?

You don't want to know.

-----------------------------------------
"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" Matthew 19:24
Free your mind! (http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archives/bright/berkman/comanarchism/whatis_toc.html)
I like big butts!

http://img63.photobucket.com/albums/v193/eddy_the_great/steatopygia.jpg

What's a "Transhumanist"?

You don't want to know.

You mean it's something like Trans-Fatty Acids?

You can tell your Uncle Mahal...it's OK :)

I disagree.

Fat people are not sexy to me, they may be sexy to other people, and that's fine, but don't force me to want to have sex with them.

Sorry, I just don't like fat chics.

Well, you don't seem very sexy to me. However, I'm not going to sit here and deny that you are a sexual being. Because (barring the remote possibility that you're actually a research chimp with access to the net :wink: ) you're a human being.

And you know what? I'm going to start accepting wagers right now that, when you finally fall head over heels in love, it's with a big, beautiful woman. :D

((bump))

Best song ever:

I touch Myself - the Divinyls

ohhhh yeah.


Honestly though, if you go back to "the good 'ol days" when people were expected to be a-sexual, they were also expected to get married at the age of 13. I sure am glad I wasn't having sex at age 13, sounds like it was more sexual back then to me.

Well, I'm just saying that modesty can be hot, as it allows for more sexual tension, which is awesome.

What's a "Transhumanist"?

You don't want to know.

-----------------------------------------
"It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" Matthew 19:24
Free your mind! (http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archives/bright/berkman/comanarchism/whatis_toc.html)
I like big butts!

http://img63.photobucket.com/albums/v193/eddy_the_great/steatopygia.jpgI do.
I mean, knowledge is power and we can't really express our opinions and "fight" this supposed evil if we don't know what the hell it is.

((bump))

IMO since sex is such a powerful thing with its ability to create life, rather than bastardize it (or be the polar opposite to that), I say that we should respect sex and the power it has. That's not to say that we should gradually introduce the concept of sex to our youth so that it doesnt "hit them like a brick wall"

I think the way the western world reacts to sex has an analog in the behavior of sexual abuse victims. They tend to become either promiscuous or frigid. Polarized totally one way or another.

We seem to have separated the physical and the spiritual aspects of sex. It's either something dirty or something to be exploited, but always focused on the physical, rather than putting the two together, the emotional and the physical.

IMHO, if you think of sex this way, it's terribly unhealthy.

I do.
I mean, knowledge is power and we can't really express our opinions and "fight" this supposed evil if we don't know what the hell it is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transhumanism

-----------------------------------------
"If the left is understood to include 'Bolshevism,' then I would flatly dissociate
myself from the left. Lenin was one of the greatest enemies of socialism."-Chomsky
Free your mind! (http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archives/bright/berkman/comanarchism/whatis_toc.html)
I like big butts!
http://img63.photobucket.com/albums/v193/eddy_the_great/steatopygia.jpg

society isnt sexual enuf--why arent people allowed to walk fully nude in public or to have sex on trains?

society isnt sexual enuf--why arent people allowed to walk fully nude in public or to have sex on trains?

i totally agree

MAKE LOVE NOT WAR!!

I don't think nudity should be exclusively sexual, though, MKULTRA. I think the only reason people start hyperventilating as soon as they see a flash of boobies in the western world is because the only time they ever see that much skin is when they're watching porn or about to get laid. It's the only association they have for nudity.

It's not like anyone goes swimming nude without doing it in the dead of night and pretty loaded anymore. If they did it in daylight, people would probably drag their kids off the beach pretty quick, reason stated above. I think it's all the wrong attitude.

I don't think nudity should be exclusively sexual, though, MKULTRA. I think the only reason people start hyperventilating as soon as they see a flash of boobies in the western world is because the only time they ever see that much skin is when they're watching porn or about to get laid. It's the only association they have for nudity.

It's not like anyone goes swimming nude without doing it in the dead of night and pretty loaded anymore. If they did it in daylight, people would probably drag their kids off the beach pretty quick, reason stated above. I think it's all the wrong attitude.I think Sweden is very evolved tho--they teach shoolkids how to put condoms on bananas with their mouths