NationStates Jolt Archive

Since recent polls have shown that more young people get a significant part of their news from late night comedy shows, and since Jon Stewart is easily the best of the late night group as far as making fun of the media is concerned, I present the quotes of the day from the Daily Show.

From the 5/11/04 show:
Jon Stewart: Stephen, what do you think about this idea that we are hearing from Rumsfeld, and now Sen. Inhofe, that the press was somehow irresponsible for releasing these photos of abuse?

Stephen Colbert: Jon, I agree entirely with Secy Rumsfeld that the release of these photos was deplorable, but these actions of a few rogue journalists do not represent the vast majority of the American media.

Stewart: The journalists did something wrong?

Colbert: I'm just saying those journalists don't represent the journalists I know. The journalists I know love America, but now all anybody wants to talk about is the bad journalists--the journalists that hurt America.

But what they don't talk about is all the amazingly damaging things we haven't reported on. Who didn't uncover the flaws in our pre-war intelligence? Who gave a free pass on the Saddam-al Queda connection? Who dropped Aghanistan from the headlines at the first whiff of this Iraqi snipehunt? The United States press corps, that's who. Heck, we didn't even put this story on the front page. We tried to bury it on "60 Minutes II." Who's on that--Charlie Rose and Anglela Lansbury?

Stewart: Stephen, what do you think is at play here?

Colbert: Politics, Jon, that's what. Pure and simple. I think it's pretty suspicious that these tortures took place during a Presidential campaign. This is a clear cut case of partisan sadism. You know, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure those Iraqi prisoners want Bush out of office too. You know I wouldn't be a bit surprised if a pile of hooded, naked Iraqis has a job waiting for them in the Kerry Administration.

One more, and feel free to post your own.

Corddry: How does one report the facts in an unbiased way when the facts themselves are biased?

Stewart: I'm sorry, Rob, did you say the facts are biased?

Corddry: That's right Jon. From the names of our fallen soldiers to the gradual withdrawal of our allies to the growing insurgency, it's become all too clear that facts in Iraq have an anti-Bush agenda.

THANK YOU incertonia
i havent been able to watch the daily show since the leaves came out on my trees and blocked the satellite reception!
the daily show is where i get all my fake news!!

i often wonder if rather, brokaw and jennings are horribly envious that joh stewart can look right at the camera and say "they think we are retarded"

you know they are thinking it!

Quotes from an interview with Janeane Garofalo

Janeane Garofalo: "A vote for Bush is a Character flaw"

Janeane Garofalo : "Its preposterous to Have a fundamentalist President in this day and age... He's high on God, He's Cocky with Christ."

I'm glad my wife doesn't allow me to watch late night TV. It doesn't appear to be all that funny....

Now Dennis Miller on the other hand... he's FUNNY! (But only if you're intelligent enough to understand his humor)

I'm glad my wife doesn't allow me to watch late night TV. It doesn't appear to be all that funny....

Now Dennis Miller on the other hand... he's FUNNY! (But only if you're intelligent enough to understand his humor)

Wow!

So what you're saying is.... you're whipped.... AND condescending!

;)

I'm glad my wife doesn't allow me to watch late night TV. It doesn't appear to be all that funny....

Now Dennis Miller on the other hand... he's FUNNY! (But only if you're intelligent enough to understand his humor)

Wow!

So what you're saying is.... you're whipped.... AND condescending!

;)

I am NOT whipped! My wife told me so :)

(What's condescending mean? [jk])

I'm glad my wife doesn't allow me to watch late night TV. It doesn't appear to be all that funny....

Now Dennis Miller on the other hand... he's FUNNY! (But only if you're intelligent enough to understand his humor)

Wow!

So what you're saying is.... you're whipped.... AND condescending!

;)

I am NOT whipped! My wife told me so :)



Oh - well then it must be true!

Sorry.... I'll retract that then....

:lol:

-Z-

The only topical news that makes me laugh is Big Jon.

Dennis Miller is more like a topical anesthetic.

(And doesn't he look old these days ? :shock: )

dennis miller used to be funny, not that ive gotten much chance to see him ( that leaf thing again) but now that he's turned into some kind of stepfordconservative hes just not so funny. having to fit his humor and rants into one political box must be too restrictive for his kind of funny

no one beats the daily show for funny. they have a great team and the restraints of having to keep it within the bounds of decency required by comedy central means they have to work harder. (hmmm maybe that means dennis miller is getting lazy?)

thats why they won the emmy

besides it repeats durning the day so you dont have to stay up late. its not like the real news where if you miss the original broadcast theres no sense watching a re run. maybe you could find a time when the wife is out of the house.....

You can always go to the Daily Show website and watch clips. (http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/thedailyshowwithjonstewart/) It's updated daily.

Dennis Miller is one of the most unfunny people alive.

Dennis Miller is one of the most unfunny people alive.It's a shame too, because he was actually very funny at one time.

One more, and feel free to post your own.

Corddry: How does one report the facts in an unbiased way when the facts themselves are biased?

Stewart: I'm sorry, Rob, did you say the facts are biased?

Corddry: That's right Jon. From the names of our fallen soldiers to the gradual withdrawal of our allies to the growing insurgency, it's become all too clear that facts in Iraq have an anti-Bush agenda.
Ah sweet butter. As per usual, your ahead of me on what I would post, and have done it better. I nearly pulled a muscle laughing when they did this. You know it's going to be a piercing commentary when Colbert is doing it.

how about (this'll piss off the conservatives, but if they'd watch the show they'd see him rip Kerry and democrats as well):
What? All I'm saying is that when President Bush, Vice President Cheney and Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld get together, a puppy is strangled. Why the gasp?

Anything criticizing Bush must be witty, eh?

:roll:

Anything criticizing Bush must be witty, eh?

:roll:No--there's some really unwitty criticism of Bush going around. This just happens to be the witty stuff.

Anything criticizing Bush must be witty, eh?

:roll:

Jon Stewart certainly is :D

Actually He also criticizes Kerry pretty hard too.

They make fun of everyone.

Dennis Miller is one of the most unfunny people alive.It's a shame too, because he was actually very funny at one time.

The only time I ever found him to be funny was when he use to do the fake news on SNL.. other then that the man isn't funny, he just studies a thesaurus..lol

Wish I had the exact quote, but in one of the clips I watched last night, Stewart played the clip of Bush saying that Rumsfeld was doing a "superb job" and asked "Does he even know what that word means? What kind of job would Rumsfeld have to do for it to be not superb? I've gotten fired for being late."

You can always go to the Daily Show website and watch clips. (http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/thedailyshowwithjonstewart/) It's updated daily.

Thanks, I like the Homoerotic Slavemasters and when he offers a trade with England for better journalists in "Superb" responsibility


Where can we get a reporter like that? [the one who embarassed Blair at a conference with a Chinese diplomat]
Seriously, England, let me ask you this. I'm just throwing this out there, I'm just spitballing (?) here England.
We'll trade you one Aaron Brown, two Britt Hulmes and a Van Susteran for one of those. And I'm not talking about the old Van Susteran, I'm talking about the new one

PS sorry if I get the names wrong

after showing the clip where rumsfield says i'm no lawyer, but that was more like abuse
stewart: i'm not a laywer eitehr, i'm not even a real newscaster, but that was fucking torture you prick
and classic when he called fox news to a newcasters face the al jazeera of the US