NationStates Jolt Archive

Howdy, people! Here is a comedy sketch that is part of a long series of what I have been sending to Lakarian, by telegram!
It is a fusion of British and American humour, and the idea originated from when Lakarian once pretended he pulled the string on a
George W Bush doll!
Here it is! Enjoy!
____________________________________________________________
[PART ONE]
George W doll: I have decided not to declare war on Syria, North Korea, Canada, or Uzbekistan, so nobody has to worry about that happenin', okay?
General doll: I'm glad you saw sense in the end,
Mr. President, sir. You would have been thrown out of the White dollhouse without a second thought, if you decided to start a completely uneccessary war, sir.
George W doll: Yes, but I have decided I still want to declare war on someone.........
General doll: Who, Mr. President?
George W doll: THE MARTIANS, GENERAL!
General doll: Noooooo, Mr. President! You can't declare war on the entire Martian population! The world be be obliterated in hours! At least I think it
probably would be, sir!
George W doll: Oh, well, it's too late! I have already declared war on them Martians, General.
Prepare to destroy them!
<A spaceship flies down, lands out side the
White dollhouse, the hatch opens, and out comes a skinny, strange looking Alien doll, who is representing Mars,
in these crazy talks of war>
Martian Alien doll: Foolish earthling President. You would not stand a chance against us Martians. As leader of the Martian military, I will offer you the chance to stand down, and take back your declaration of war.
What do you choose, earthling President?
Oh, by the way..........I come in peace. For now.
George W doll: Okay.........no war, I will take back my declaration of war, but I would still like a tug-of-war with you, Mr. Alien.
General........fetch me a rope........
General doll: Yes sir, Mr. President!
Just try not to hang yourself!
Martian Alien doll: Okay, earthling President.
I accept your tug-of-war challenge. Prepare to lose.
General doll: <refereeing> Ready.........pull!
<George and the Alien geezer pull the rope hard in their opposite directions, and George secretly has his end of the rope tied to a safe handle>
Martian Alien doll: I will defeat you, earthling President!
George W doll: No you won't! It's a SAFE BET that
I will win! Aheheheheheheheh..........
Martian Alien doll: <Being so strong, he manages to pull the safes door off its hinges, and he wins the tug-of-war, despite the President's bit of safe door cheating>
I win, earthling President! And it seems that I had to pull the door off of that safe. I can see the piles of money you have contained, in that safe.
I will make it mine, for your foolishness!
George W doll: Oh no you don't!
<He jumps in front of the safe, trying to block the Martian from grabbing the thousands of genuine dollar notes>
Martian Alien doll:
Okay, I will have to initiate a tickle attack.
<He starts tickling under the President's arms, which makes him laugh hysterically>
George W doll: Aheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh!
OKAY! OKAY! STOP! YOU CAN TAKE THE MONEY,
JUST STOP TICKLING ME! I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP!
Aheheheheheheheheheheheheheh!
Martian Alien doll: Thankyou, earthling president.
I will get this money turned into the Martian currency, and I will use it for our military technology, which already has advanced to slingshots, and spears.
George W doll: <In sheer disbelief, of course>
SLINGSHOTS AND SPEARS!? IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT!?
Martian Alien doll: Yes. Why?
What do you earthlings have, that's so amazing?
[END OF PART ONE]

[PART TWO]
Michael Jackson doll: Hee-heeh! They have ME! Shah-moane!
Martian Alien doll: Okay, you'll do, strange earthling.
Come back to Mars with us. We will experiment on you........
Michael Jackson doll: OW! That sounds good!
I've always wanted to go to MARS!
<He walks into the spaceship, and is
immediately tied up.........>
OW! This isn't going to be so good!
<...........and gagged by a group of Martian scientists>
Martian Alien doll: Atheh Mrrulia, earthling president,
and earthling General. Vauddx Abob Elximox, all of you.
George W doll: Hey, what did you just say, Mr. Alien?
Martian Alien doll: Roughly translated, it is what we Martians say, for "bye for now", and "have a great year".
You are Telwa Libnoqa, earthling President.
"Very strange........"
Later.
<He flies off in his spaceship, with Michael Jackson being experimented on with itching powder.........>
Michael Jackson doll: OW! THIS IS SUPER ITCHY!
WHAT IS THIS STUFF MADE OF?
Martian scientist doll: We don't know. We stole it from one of the storage rooms in Bill Gates' mansion..........
We think he was using it on his pet dogs,
as a joke...........
They didn't find it funny. Neither did his wife.
<Over to Bill Gates in his mansion>
Oh! I've been letting this comedy sketch go on for too long!
I'll have to stop it! I think it's got bugs!
CONTROL, ALT, AND DELETE!
<Pressing those buttons, however, dosen't switch the comedy sketch off, it just makes his
computerised mansion shut down, instead............>
Oh no! I hope I've saved it into my
'expensive mansions' folder!
<He switches his big computer on again, and eventually gets to his 'expensive mansions' folder........
he clicks on it, then clicks on 'mansion5.pub'>
OOOOH! WHAT IDIOT INVENTED WINDOWS 2000?
IT'S TAKING SO LONG TO LOAD!
____________________________________________________________
I hope you all liked it!
Thankyou very much for reading this comedy sketch!
I know! It's mad, like me!
Jass.