NationStates Jolt Archive


How to Make the Stockmarket Boom

01-05-2004, 03:22
Here's the way we make the stockmarket boom.

First we add a slamin' techno soundtrack so it's all 'BOO BOO BOO dede! BOO BOO BOO dede!' then we turn of all those annoying ceiling lights off so the only light is coming from the tickers on the floor. Then we add a bunch of green, purple, and orange lasers to move up and down the crowd. Then after bell is rung to start trading they replace it with a DJ'ing booth and a thin, talkitive British guy wearing a skintight, wool longsleeve shirt would be hired to DJ and before he turns on the music he yells, 'Let's get 'eady ta PAAA'TAYYYY!' And then on top of the tickers there would be cages and flat chested women wearing tight, green rubber shirts and low rise leather pants with glitery make-up on that would have spiked yellow hair would dance all day long. And then on a huge flat screen TV behind the DJ, if the ended up 150 points, would go 'Celebrate!' and it would play a fresh poppy tune and they would hit around beachballs while the cage girls spray water on them.
Angvine
01-05-2004, 03:24
Best idea for economic prosperity I've heard yet.
01-05-2004, 03:31
And here I thought you were talking about the Fight Club style boom. I like this almost as well though.
Letila
01-05-2004, 03:34
I'd rather undermine capitalism by hacking into the stockmarket and messing it up.

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"But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality."
Free your mind! (http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archives/bright/berkman/comanarchism/whatis_toc.html)
I like big butts!

http://www.angelfire.com/mo3/terrapvlchra/images/steatopygia.jpg
01-05-2004, 03:35
Letila, admit my idea is cooler.
Angvine
01-05-2004, 03:37
More original, at the very least.
Cuneo Island
01-05-2004, 03:40
Only Cuneo, the multimillionaire stock trading MBA dropout can teach you how to make the stock market boom
01-05-2004, 03:42
What's your idea? Investor confidence?
Cuneo Island
02-05-2004, 00:11
My idea is teaching economics in school more frequently actually.

There are so many people that don't invest correctly, and get scared in and out of different securities. When there is a mass scare out of a security that is when the stock market plummets. If people would learn the basics it would benefit us all.
Berkylvania
02-05-2004, 00:13
My idea is teaching economics in school more frequently actually.

There are so many people that don't invest correctly, and get scared in and out of different securities. When there is a mass scare out of a security that is when the stock market plummets. If people would learn the basics it would benefit us all.

Well, yeah, but couldn't you at least use a few lasers?
Cuneo Island
02-05-2004, 00:16
Well yeah, the losers are sorta what the winners make money off of. But when the losers outnumber the winners and all hear about the same companies due to media monopolies and stuff, that's when it hurts the winners and nails the economy.
Letila
02-05-2004, 00:39
You do realize that the real losers are the workers who don't get the full product of their labor.

-----------------------------------------
"But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality."
Free your mind! (http://dwardmac.pitzer.edu/Anarchist_Archives/bright/berkman/comanarchism/whatis_toc.html)
I like big butts!

http://www.angelfire.com/mo3/terrapvlchra/images/steatopygia.jpg
02-05-2004, 00:40
Wha? The lasers. Not losers.
Berkylvania
02-05-2004, 00:41
It's all about the lasers.
Kwaswhakistan
02-05-2004, 00:47
How to make the stock market boom: Take a block of c4, then....... you get the rest.