You might be a redneck if.......
If u go to a family reuion looking for a wife you might be a redneck!
If when you shut your door your shotgun creates an instant sun roof you might be a redneck!
If you have to get a tetanus shot before you are allowed to drive you vehicle you might be a redneck!
If you use a hammer & aluminum foil to tenderise your steak you might be a redneck!
If you use your blow-up doll as an airbag you might be a redneck!
If your dad takes a piss in a can and you come in and say "hmm smells good, looks like chickin broth" because of the stuff floating in it you might be a redneck!
If You and your dog share the same name you might be a redneck!
If Your dog passes gas and you claim it you might be a redneck!
If On your fist date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor you might be a redneck!
If You can't keep your cats out of your car at night because the interior smells like fried chicken you might be a redneck!
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 15:27
Hey I resemble those remarks.... :P
Hey I resemble those remarks.... :P
If you take offence to these jokes you might be a redneck!
LOL
The Great Leveller
28-04-2004, 15:28
Hey I resemble those remarks.... :P
What about these ones (http://www.fortogden.com/foredneck.html)?
Naelosia
28-04-2004, 15:30
Its hard-nosed, hard-working population of 1.086 billion
Hard working Rednecks, Now Thats An OxyMoron if I ever heard one!! :D
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 15:32
Its hard-nosed, hard-working population of 1.086 billion
Hard working Rednecks, Now Thats An OxyMoron if I ever heard one!! :D
Drinking beer and working on my truck IS hard work!
Drinking beer and working on my truck IS hard work!
If you think drining beer is hard work you might be a redneck!
Archaic Slang Words
28-04-2004, 15:37
If you empty your pick-up by driving forward real fast and slamming on the brakes then you might be a redneck.
...always loved that one. It's just like me!
If you empty your pick-up by driving forward real fast and slamming on the brakes then you might be a redneck.
...always loved that one. It's just like me!
dude if your going to tell redneck joke tell them right its
If you empty your pick-up by driving backwards real fast and slamming on the brakes then you might be a redneck.
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 15:39
If you empty your pick-up by driving forward real fast and slamming on the brakes then you might be a redneck.
...always loved that one. It's just like me!
Are you planning on sending all of your belongings over the hood?
You BACK UP and slam on the brakes to unload your truck!
(It actually works very well... but don't try it with your mother-in-law's antique collection!)
Archaic Slang Words
28-04-2004, 15:41
Actually, my friend did it going forward, and everything did go over the hood. You know rednecks don't do things properly!
EDIT: Well, a lot of it, if I recall properly. Mainly the things piled higher up than lower. The lowest thing that went over was maybe an inch beneath the cabin rear-window.
Are you planning on sending all of your belongings over the hood?
You BACK UP and slam on the breaks to unload your truck!
(It actually works very well... but don't try it with your mother-in-law's antique collection!)
lol omg dude thats great.
If you have ever broke you mother-in-law's antique collection by backing your truck up really fast and slamming on the break to unload it you might be a redneck!
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 15:45
A redneck only needs 2 items to fix pretty much anything:
Duct tape
WD40
If it moves, and it aint supposed to.... Use duct tape
If it don't move, and it's supposed to... Use WD40
(Household hint: WD40 works great as a cooking oil and also as personal lubricant for those tender moments)
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 15:47
Are you planning on sending all of your belongings over the hood?
You BACK UP and slam on the breaks to unload your truck!
(It actually works very well... but don't try it with your mother-in-law's antique collection!)
lol omg dude thats great.
If you have ever broke you mother-in-law's antique collection by backing your truck up really fast and slamming on the break to unload it you might be a redneck!
... but probably a dead redneck!
A redneck only needs 2 items to fix pretty much anything:
Duct tape
WD40
If it moves, and it aint supposed to.... Use duct tape
If it don't move, and it's supposed to... Use WD40
(Household hint: WD40 works great as a cooking oil and also as personal lubricant for those tender moments)
If you use wd40 on your food you might be, wait no you are a redneck!
If you sit in front of a computer fighting over redneck jokes you might be a redneck!
If you think n'sync is were your dirty dishes are you might be a redneck!
The Great Leveller
28-04-2004, 15:51
If you've ever had your nipple bitten off by a beaver, you might be a redneck.
If you have ever rode an electic floor buffer you might be a redneck!
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 15:55
My favorite has always been:
If your porch roof collapses, and more than 3 dogs are killed....
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 15:56
If you sit in front of a computer fighting over redneck jokes you might be a redneck!
...or a geek!
Naelosia
28-04-2004, 15:58
If you look at your mail box (Which says male) and you say, "That Ain't Right, That M Should Be A Capital!"... You Might Be A Redneck.
If you tell this joke at your family reunion, And They Don't Get It, They Might Be Rednecks!!
If you sit in front of a computer fighting over redneck jokes you might be a redneck!
...or a geek!
well are we rednecks or geeks i know im not a geek so... lol im just at work and bored
Ya know what's really sad...I hail from the Smokies that straddle Tennessee and North Carolina..and I would venture to say that any southerner who posts here KNOWS someone that fits the description of each and every one of these sayings..lol....
Oh..and drinking beer and shooting your shotgun and going muddin in your truck should be state-protected activities..hehe
Ya know what's really sad...I hail from the Smokies that straddle Tennessee and North Carolina..and I would venture to say that any southerner who posts here KNOWS someone that fits the description of each and every one of these sayings..lol....
Oh..and drinking beer and shooting your shotgun and going muddin in your truck should be state-protected activities..hehe
i know more than 1 person thats fits everyone of the jokes i have told here lol
Anti-things
28-04-2004, 16:08
if you think a bubble bath means farting in a puddle you must be a redneck
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 16:11
Oh..and drinking beer and shooting your shotgun and going muddin in your truck should be state-protected activities..hehe
They are protected here in Michigan!
Redneck Geeks
28-04-2004, 16:12
If your cousin's last words were: "Hey y'all, watch this!" then you might
be a redneck.
If you go to the doctor bcuz your wife said she has a pussy-willo you might be a redneck!
Banana Lana
28-04-2004, 16:19
If you live in America you have a one in four chance of being a redneck.
Naelosia
28-04-2004, 16:46
If you live in America you have a one in four chance of being a redneck.
If you don't know what a one in four chance is, you just might be a Redneck!
If you bring a AOL cd with you to use as a coster you might be a redneck!
If you have a house that is moble and 14 cars that arent you might be a redneck!
If someone yell hoe-down and your girlfriend hits the floor you might be a redneck!
Brandoniats
28-04-2004, 16:53
ve ever had to move the transmission to take a bath, you might be a redneck