NationStates Jolt Archive

The basic guidlines that state the things guys think, do or say. enjoy.


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can
find the perfect present yet again!

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women
always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like soap opera guys.

1. Don't ask us if you're fat. We refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. Peach is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is, so stop asking us if we like it.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really..

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. We really don't mind sleeping on the sofa, it's like camping.

(and yes, they are all numbered 1. it was done that way on purpose. get over it)

:lol:

I posted that in the middle of a thread a while ago, and no one noticed :(


I stand by it too.

The basic guidlines that state the things guys think, do or say. enjoy.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women
always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.


screw you times 8.

The basic guidlines that state the things guys think, do or say. enjoy.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women
always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.


screw you times 8. the truth hurts

The basic guidlines that state the things guys think, do or say. enjoy.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women
always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.


screw you times 8.

hey, none of this is personal. its a general statement.

The basic guidlines that state the things guys think, do or say. enjoy.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short
hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women
always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.


screw you times 8.

Agreed. I have short hair and it looks so much better than long hair ever did. :evil:

one can never have too many shoes. what are you smoking?

one can never have too many shoes. what are you smoking? even that dictators wife in south america who had 5,000 pairs of shoes?

one can never have too many shoes. what are you smoking?

oh yes, one can. iv seen girls closets where there are more pairs of shoes than clothes. this one girl had a pile, and i kid you not, that was 2 feet high of nothing but shoes.

I have my shoes I wear almost all the time, my running/sport related shoes and my formal shoes that got me through the balls at high school.

What else does one need?


Oh I guess I have my soccer boots and hockey skates, which have a boot attached to wheels, but they don't count...

I've seen girls run through shoes at Payless....only to have them collect dust along with their other shoes in their temple/closet

I have my shoes I wear almost all the time, my running/sport related shoes and my formal shoes that got me through the balls at high school.

What else does one need?


Oh I guess I have my soccer boots and hockey skates, which have a boot attached to wheels, but they don't count... i only have one pair of nasty old addidas track shoes that the bottoms are coming off of, and ill be damned if i have to buy some new ones before the i can feel the ground in my sock feet!

-i also have a pair of flip-flops

I have my shoes I wear almost all the time, my running/sport related shoes and my formal shoes that got me through the balls at high school.

What else does one need?


Oh I guess I have my soccer boots and hockey skates, which have a boot attached to wheels, but they don't count... i only have one pair of nasty old addidas track shoes that the bottoms are coming off of, and ill be damned if i have to buy some new ones before the i can feel the ground in my sock feet!

i'm waiting mate :twisted:

ok, i love shoes. love. i have lots.

one can never have too many shoes. what are you smoking? even that dictators wife in south america who had 5,000 pairs of shoes? Ha. I simply envy her.
But I bet a lot of them were ugly. Let me rephrase: one can never have too many cute shoes.

I have 4 pairs of shoes, Dress shoes, sandals, normal shoes, and tennis shoes.. Does that make me less feminine? :(

Actually my cousin gave me a pair of tui jandels for christmas, so I guess I fail the 3 shoe rule :? I only wear them to the beach as a substitute for bare feet.

i especially love high heels...i only have 5 pairs..(black, purple, pink, checkered, brown), and i really need lots more.

how do ya'll walk in those things? seriously. i mean, i can barely manage to walk in sandles with the soles being like more than an inch in thickness and ya'll have these shoes that are a foot tal in the heel! :shock:

I haven't completely mastered heels yet, and mine aren't even those needle type ones... (You always see them breaking on TV, any truth to that?) :(

i especially love high heels...i only have 5 pairs..(black, purple, pink, checkered, brown), and i really need lots more.
See now, here's the deal (and slightly off topic) that I want to see:

We acknowledge that some people like some things (shoes, shopping, whatever) and some like another (say, cars). Niether has more value or schmaltz or :roll: to it then the other(except maybe that cars can take people places), and we're all happy. We can drop the fiction that we're doing it for the other gender-you're really buying the shoes for you, we're really buying the cars for us, and we're all cool.

And if I buy a hot rod or sports car in midlife it has nothing to do with a crisis, it's just that it took me till the middle of my damn life before I could %$&^$#* afford one. I'm gonna enjoy it dammit-let my bald damn head flow in the wind.....

EDIT:Granting the caveat that there are plenty of women more into cars than most men could hope (the person that got me into VWs was a chick) and dudes that shop and buy clothes with the best of them. Large numbers on both sides.