NationStates Jolt Archive


Shop Rules for a President

Smeagol-Gollum
25-04-2004, 09:59
Simple analogies help George Bush, it seems, writes Richard Glover.

In the new book by Bob Woodward about the White House and the invasion of Iraq, Plan of Attack, there are many bizarre revelations, but chief among them must be the existence of the Pottery Barn rule.

Woodward says that the US Secretary of State, Colin Powell, was keen to impress upon President George Bush the long-term dangers of invading Iraq. To make his point clear, he invoked what he and his deputy, Richard Armitage, describe as the rule in the Pottery Barn chain of stores: "If you break it, you own it."

"You are going to be the proud owner of 25 million people. You will own all their hopes, aspirations and problems. You'll own it all," Woodward quotes Powell as telling Bush.

Some of us might be concerned that American foreign policy is now debated using the language of shop warning signs. But that's not the only thing causing headlines in America.

There's also deep disquiet that the Pottery Barn rules have been so seriously misrepresented. Leigh Oshirak, public relations director for the 170-store chain, has been widely quoted: "This is very, very far from a policy of ours. In the rare instance that something is broken in the store, it's written off as a loss. It's upsetting and absurd that that analogy has been put out there. You'd think that somewhere along the line they would have checked."

We're with him on this. And outraged on his behalf. He's right, the Administration staff should have checked its "upsetting" facts about Pottery Barn. While they were at it, they could also have checked their "upsetting" facts on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, the connection between Iraq and al-Qaeda, and the enthusiasm of the Iraq's Shiite majority for an invasion.

But my biggest worry remains President Bush: does he really need to have things explained to him in metaphors drawn from store warning signs? Was this the FBI's mistake when it was begging for more resources to protect America before September 11, amid warnings of an attack? Should it have invoked the parking station rule ("Do not leave valuables unattended")?

And was this Australia's mistake in selling Bush the free trade deal with its immediate benefits for America, and 20-year delay for our beef farmers? Maybe we should have made it easy for him. "It's simply the Harvey Norman rule, Mr President: 'Buy now, pay later."'

Certainly many were mystified when Bush outlined the Axis of Evil, including Iran, Iraq and Korea, but leaving out Libya. We didn't understand he was working within the restrictions of the Kmart fitting room rule: "Limit of three items." And suddenly it's clear why there are so many Chalabi relatives involved in the US's puppet government in Iraq. The whole family comes under the bag-a-bargain discount rule: "Buy one, get the rest free."

Of course, the Iraqis don't have to stick to Chalabi and the other American favourites. They can choose whichever puppet regime they want, as long as they don't expect their country back. The details of the policy are detailed under dress shop rules: "We will cheerfully exchange, but not refund."

The Woodward book also reveals that Australia's foreign policy towards the US has also been operating under a shop sign rule. In this case: "Your wish is our command."

The book details the lengthy list of demands made by our Prime Minister before Australia's involvement was announced. Well, when I say lengthy list, there was one main requirement. That the President make not one phone call, but two - just to emphasise Australia's importance.

Here's how Woodward tells the story: On March 16 last year, just before the declaration of war, Bush phoned John Howard from Air Force One as he flew from the Azores summit with the British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, and Spain's then prime minister, Jose Maria Aznar. Bush explained he would deliver a speech the next day in which he would issue a 48-hour ultimatum to Saddam Hussein.

Howard asked Bush whether this was going to be the declaration of war speech. "No," Bush assured him. "It's an ultimatum speech."

Howard then told Bush he needed "one last official word" before the war started. Otherwise, it would look to the Australian people like Bush just started the war without even telling his biggest allies.

Bush promised the additional call - "No, no. This isn't the last call you're going to get from me." And, indeed, the second call came, confirming an involvement which had been effectively promised months before. It was simply the Ikea dispatch dock rule at work: "Even direct orders must be confirmed."

What a shame it's worked out so badly. All that effort, and the Iraqis won't even thank us for saving their country. Maybe Bush missed out on just one of those shop sign rules. The one from the corner store: "Never ask for credit as refusal may offend."

SOURCE.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/04/23/1082616326327.html

COMMENT.

Where is the store detective when needed.
Kwaswhakistan
25-04-2004, 10:13
man i would read that post but it is 2 long and im tired. a quick summary would be nice.
Lutton
25-04-2004, 10:38
Could be worse, he could have spotted a clearance sale sign saying "Everything Must Go ..."