NationStates Jolt Archive

In an attempt to make myself laugh...I'm gonna just make plays of different periods during different eras in history but in NS style!. I'll do one on the US Civil War. You can do another one if you wish.

Ahem

US: All men are created equal!
Southern States: Amen!
Northern States: But you guys down there have slaves!
South: So?
North: So we're not a free and equal nation!
South: What about those Irishmen who work for 3 cents a day and no health insurance?
North: Uhh....you don't pay em jack ****!
South: Bitch! You take that back!
North: **** you
*few years later*
South: Okay...we're GONNA BOMB YOUR ASSES!
North: Oh no you DID NOT just say that!
South: Down goes Fort Sumter!
North: Oh no you didn't! Oh NO you DIDN'T!
South: Kiss my *** Yanks!
North: WAR! I send 20,000 troops to head toward Bull Run near Richmond!
South: WTF! Godmodder!
North: OOC: Not really, *does a bunch of Math equations*
South: w/e...I send 442,000 troops there!
North: I press the IGNORE button on you!
South: WE n00k j00!
North: we win
South: you cowards

--

pretty lame attempt...but hey, with experiance comes greatness! I'll get a funny one down! Don't worry...I'll edit thos one soon to make it funnier

The American Civil War was in the 1800's, well before nucler technology. So, it wouldn't be "WE n00k j00!", it'd be "WE sh00tz j00!"

--The Jovial States of Cogitation

Hmmm.... This has potential. Keep it going, Colodia.

The American Civil War was in the 1800's, well before nucler technology. So, it wouldn't be "WE n00k j00!", it'd be "WE sh00tz j00!"

--The Jovial States of Cogitation

Nations a week old wouldn't have nukes either. But they godmod!

you only had 1 OOC:, real RP in this has about 100 OOC for every IC post

Good work, funny as hell. If you want some help with some non-US history ones, let me know.

LOL, that was pretty funny. Mabye a modern tech war would have more potential.

What was with the two little dashes down at the bottom of the post?

Okay...I guess I will continue with this! Thanks guys!

In an attempt to make myself laugh...I'm gonna just make plays of different periods during different eras in history but in NS style!. I'll do one on the US Civil War. You can do another one if you wish.

Ahem

US: All men are created equal!
Southern States: Amen!
Northern States: But you guys down there have slaves!
South: So?
North: So we're not a free and equal nation!
South: What about those Irishmen who work for 3 cents a day and no health insurance?
North: Uhh....you don't pay em jack ****!
South: Bitch! You take that back!
North: **** you
*few years later*
South: Okay...we're GONNA BOMB YOUR ASSES!
North: Oh no you DID NOT just say that!
South: Down goes Fort Sumter!
North: Oh no you didn't! Oh NO you DIDN'T!
South: Kiss my *** Yanks!
North: WAR! I send 20,000 troops to head toward Bull Run near Richmond!
South: WTF! Godmodder!
North: OOC: Not really, *does a bunch of Math equations*
South: w/e...I send 442,000 troops there!
North: I press the IGNORE button on you!
South: WE n00k j00!
North: we win
South: you cowards

--

pretty lame attempt...but hey, with experiance comes greatness! I'll get a funny one down! Don't worry...I'll edit thos one soon to make it funnierLMFAO! That is just how it would be RPed on NS. Good work Colodia.

Let me make a quick one on Adolf Hitler's rise to power...unfortunatly...non NS style

WW1 Commander: Mr. Hitler, you are the telegram boy. Your job is to run like **** across the battefields and deliver messages. Got that?

Hitler: Yes but...isn't that dangerous?

WW1 Commander: Only as dangerous as a women who went to college

Hitler: YES SIR!

*and so Hitler went on his grand adventures of getting bullets in his ass as he ran across millions of dug-up grounds Germans hid in...after the war, he was promoted Colonel. Let us go to where he watched his mother die...*

Hitler: Mother...don't die on me....

Mother: Aww...I will never die....get me some ciggarettes will ya?

Hitler: Mother! Ciggarettes are evil and dirty!

Mother: Just like me when I was a young girl...

Hitler: Hmm?

Mother: NOTHING! *dies*

Hitler: Ok...Hey...is that a Jewish star that pierced your neck? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Ouch...a great mystery has been solved! Let us go to where Hitler tries to begin a Nationalist Socialist party*

Hitler: Okay men. We must win votes to be in the head capitol building!

Man1: Yes sir! But how?

Hitler: I am an expert in propaganda...if we put sexy women in our Nationalist Socialist and brain-wash them...we're in the bag!

Man2: Where are we gonna get sexy women? Your mustache sucks, he's fat, I'm gay, and Man3 is a women!


Man3: HEY!

Hitler: Fine...Gimmie those damn dresses and women underwear you wear to bed everynight Man2....

*Hitler receives the clothes and puts them on...and it starts to hail outside...all of the men go outside to look except Hitler*

Hitler: What is that god-awful sound? Are the Polish bombing us?

Man1: Hail Hitler! Hail Hitler!

*hmm...so THAT'S where THAT came from!*

THE END...for now
------------------------------------
was that good? I put a little extra thought into that one.

Haha good stuff. I always found the premise of the founding of America heavily ironic.

The founding fathers were a group of slave owners.......who wanted to be free.

Hmmm...Cold War!

US: Yay! I have atom bomb!
USSR: No. I hate you. I spy on you
*Nuclear Test Bomb
US: I hate you. Where'd you get that?
UK: :>( My empire is falling apart
US: To War (but not engaging fully)
USSR: To War! D*mn Imperialists!
*PRC comes about, followed by the PRV
*Spat comes about in Greece, Romania, etc.
USSR: Stop aiding our enemies!
US: Stop aiding our enemies!
PRC: I hate you USSR!
US: *evil grin
USSR: Spy Spy Spy
US: spy spy spy
USSR: C**p. No $$$$
US: :P
*USSR falls
US: YES! I Win!
Germany: Yay! I re-unite! Hey! These guys are poor!
Russia: Go Yeltsin!

Haha good stuff. I always found the premise of the founding of America heavily ironic.

The founding fathers were a group of slave owners.......who wanted to be free.

Agreed. And they paid less taxes than the English merchants (who were also not represented). But with time (and a good PR flack) comes shinig examples of nobility and rightousness.

History abounds with this, but the Icons must not be tarnished with facts. (Cherry tree my left buttock!)

This is how I would have done it -

The WW1 was fine, couldn't have done better.

Mothers dying, okay.

But you fogot the Munich Putsch -

Hitler - Stuff getting elected, lets just take over! ! ! !

Supporter - I don't think we have enough support, weapons and planning

Hitler - DON'T BOTHER ME WITH DETAILS, LETS JUST DO IT ! ! ! !

Supporters - SIEGE HEIL MEIN FURHER!

German Army - Want do you think you're doing? GO TO JAIL!

Hitler - SHIT! Oh well, I'll just write a book then . . . No more trying to overthrow the established order, lets look for some loop holes.

Hitler - I'm out of jail now where I did allot of thinking, I have found a way to get people to support us! Let's play on their ignorance, nationalism and fears! I found some holes to get ultimate power too!

Supporters - Some violence and intimidation would help them vote right too! ! ! ! !

Hitler - Finally, I'm Reich Chancellor, time to grap ultimate power! ! !

Opponents and Ludendorf - YOU CAN'T DO THAT ! ! ! ! !

Hitler - Shut up, I stab you with long knives at night ! ! ! ! !

Opponents - Damn, we're either dead or have fled the country

Hitler - POWER IS MINE ! ! ! ! Now lets find some more realestate . . . .

Yours may be better, I get too caught up with details but I just had to do it. Not critising

lol! :lol:

In an attempt to make myself laugh...I'm gonna just make plays of different periods during different eras in history but in NS style!. I'll do one on the US Civil War. You can do another one if you wish.

Ahem

US: All men are created equal!
Southern States: Amen!
Northern States: But you guys down there have slaves!
South: So?
North: So we're not a free and equal nation!
South: What about those Irishmen who work for 3 cents a day and no health insurance?
North: Uhh....you don't pay em jack ****!
South: Bitch! You take that back!
North: **** you
*few years later*
South: Okay...we're GONNA BOMB YOUR ASSES!
North: Oh no you DID NOT just say that!
South: Down goes Fort Sumter!
North: Oh no you didn't! Oh NO you DIDN'T!
South: Kiss my *** Yanks!
North: WAR! I send 20,000 troops to head toward Bull Run near Richmond!
South: WTF! Godmodder!
North: OOC: Not really, *does a bunch of Math equations*
South: w/e...I send 442,000 troops there!
North: I press the IGNORE button on you!
South: WE n00k j00!
North: we win
South: you cowards

--

pretty lame attempt...but hey, with experiance comes greatness! I'll get a funny one down! Don't worry...I'll edit thos one soon to make it funnier


:lol:

Vietnam War:

Ho CHi Minh: I take over North Vietnam!!!!!1!11!!!!!!1
USA: Godmodder
Ho CHi Minh: Actually, they elected me.
USA: oh, f***.
Ho CHi Minh: And South Vietnam wants me to lead them too.
USA: No they don't! I will send 10000000000 troops to kill j00!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ho CHi Minh: My troops hide in the jungle and shoot at you.
USA: Yay! We killed 2,000,000 Congs and only lost 60,000.
Hippie: F*** the government!!!!1!!11!!!!!
USA: Shut up you.
Hippie: I went to college and now I'm educated about real politics!
USA: F***, we never shoulda put that college loophole in there.
Hippie: Communism is a better system!
Ho CHi Minh: Maybe you kiled half my nation, but kids and grannies are still pushing you back.
USA: (to self) damn my lack of RP skills Shut up, both of you. *shoots hippies*
Ho CHi Minh: I attack from Cambodia
USA: That's not fair *fires ignore cannon and never posts again*
Ho CHi Minh: I guess I win.

The American Civil War was in the 1800's, well before nucler technology. So, it wouldn't be "WE n00k j00!", it'd be "WE sh00tz j00!"

--The Jovial States of Cogitation

You forget that the Civil War was before the era of internet stupidity. So instead of it being "We sh00tz j00" It would go more like "We will shoot you"

bump!

Fabulous idea :D Can't wait for more!

The English Civil War

Charles I: I demand absolute rule by the Divine Right of Kings

Parliament: Absolutely not!

<They fight>

Cromwell: My New Model Army shall prevail against the Papist King!

Cavaliers: No it shall not!

<It does>

Charles I: You traitors! You would not dare to commit regicide!

<They do>

Cromwell: For my next trick, I'll massacre the Irish while establishing a theocracy in the United Kingdom

<He does and later dies>

Cromwell Jr.: I'm a bit of a wanker, really

Parliament: Yes, yes you are.

<they invite Charles II back to the UK>

All is well until the accession of James II and his Catholic wife.
Will James prevail?
Will the Catholics take over Britain?
Find out in the next Condensed History

George W. Bush: Okay Powell...we ready to take on Iraq?

Powell: Mr. President, this is risky. We dont even know if Saddam has WMD or not!

Bush: No matter. I was given advise and intelligence by my secret sources.

Powell: What are these...secret sources?

Bush: livejournal.com

Powell: Excuse me sir?

Bush: Live Journal! I put up my Live Journal a few months ago...wanna see it?

Powell: Why not?

Bush: okay *turns on his Live Journal site:*

My LiVe JoUrNaL!

Current mood: :( Depressed
Music: She bangs - Ricki Martin

:( :( :( I don't know....My dad told me to invade Iraq....but I'm not sure....I don't even know what excuse I should make up to invade... :cry: :cry: :cry: ....

AnYwAyS...I got Laura to cosplay as that sexy football player Animeku from Ah! My Furiei....I cosplayed as the 10 yr old cheerleader, Yelida! :D :D :D It was fun....until the Secret Service nearly shot me when I told them I'll cast Doom on them if I don't get a Riajfeeadsf costume. Odd.....couldnt they clearly see my face?

Back on Iraq... :( :( :( what should I do?

--- 23432423 replies ---

1st reply:

Hey man! Don't be so hard on yourself man! Know what I saw last night? I think I saw Saddam with a bomb that said "Mustard" right behind him! Could've been a mustard bottle...but who cares? :lol: :lol: :lol:

2nd reply:

OmG! A/s/L? You cosplayed as Furei?

3rd reply:

Try some crack. Always works for me!






Powell: Sir! This is...

Bush: Awesome isn't it?

Powell: Mr President! You are an incapable S.O.B. who deserves to be impeached for needlessly throwing away lives for.....TEENAGERS WITH PROBLEMS!

Bush: You just hate me cuz I'm BLACK!

Powell: ARRRGGGHHH! *heads for Bush's throat*

Bush: Ahh! Secret Service! He's trying to scare the black outta me!

*Secret Service comes in...all cool and everything*

Sec1 (who happens to be black): Trying to scare the black outta you eh? *slaps Bush a few times*

Sec2: OOooOoOoOoo! PWNED!

Ns WWI

Serbia: I shoot austria's orince!

Austria: I declare war on you as does Germany!

Geramny: I declare war on France!

Britain: I declare war on you!

Canada: F**K. I get dragged in by Britain. Thanks you limey Bas***DS!
*two threads later*

Germany: Were stuck in tranch warfare! I use gas on you! You die!

Britain:GODMODDER! I use tanks on you and your bullets bounce off of them anmd you Die!1!

Germany:GODMODDER!

Britain: You did it first! Now sign this treaty which F**ks you over or I'll kick your ass!

Vietnam War:

Ho CHi Minh: I take over North Vietnam!!!!!1!11!!!!!!1
USA: Godmodder
Ho CHi Minh: Actually, they elected me.
USA: oh, f***.
Ho CHi Minh: And South Vietnam wants me to lead them too.
USA: No they don't! I will send 10000000000 troops to kill j00!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ho CHi Minh: My troops hide in the jungle and shoot at you.
USA: Yay! We killed 2,000,000 Congs and only lost 60,000.
Hippie: F*** the government!!!!1!!11!!!!!
USA: Shut up you.
Hippie: I went to college and now I'm educated about real politics!
USA: F***, we never shoulda put that college loophole in there.
Hippie: Communism is a better system!
Ho CHi Minh: Maybe you kiled half my nation, but kids and grannies are still pushing you back.
USA: (to self) damn my lack of RP skills Shut up, both of you. *shoots hippies*
Ho CHi Minh: I attack from Cambodia
USA: That's not fair *fires ignore cannon and never posts again*
Ho CHi Minh: I guess I win.Lmfao! Nicely done, nicely done.

bump

Ns WWI

Serbia: I shoot austria's orince!

Austria: I declare war on you as does Germany!

Geramny: I declare war on France!

Britain: I declare war on you!

Canada: F**K. I get dragged in by Britain. Thanks you limey Bas***DS!
*two threads later*

Germany: Were stuck in tranch warfare! I use gas on you! You die!

Britain:GODMODDER! I use tanks on you and your bullets bounce off of them anmd you Die!1!

Germany:GODMODDER!

Britain: You did it first! Now sign this treaty which F**ks you over or I'll kick your ass!

Don't Australia and New Zealand dragged in too! (not that we really complained at the time)

The great northern war (or at least some of it in the beginning)

Sweden:(OOC) Ok, so now we have a new king in Sweden, because the old one got DEAT in the last thread. The new king is about to turn 18 any day now.

Denmark: Sweet! :D
Russia: Sweet! :D
Poland: Sweet! :D

Denmark: @Russia and Poland
Let's invade Sweden on three fronts and spank the sh*t out of those cocky Swedes. And grab some of our righteous land back! The new king has absolutely no experiance or authority! :twisted:

Russia: We're in! :twisted:

Poland: They had it coming! We're in! :twisted:

~~~~~~~~
Sweden: Wtf? :shock:

Karl XII: Make me supreme ruler of Sweden and I'll take care of business. I'm 18 now. 8)

Sweden: Ok! Go for it, King!

Karl XII: Great! this is gonna be so much fun! 8)

Denmark, Russia & Poland in chorus: Indeed! :twisted:

Denmark: We invade Holstein-Gottorp! :P
Russia: We invade Ingermansland und Estland! :wink:
Poland: We invade too! But further south you see. Livland is ours! :D


Karl XII: I'm marching towards Copenhagen and I beat everyone that's in my way! Hahaaa! :mrgreen:

Denmark: Wtf? How did you do that? :shock:

Karl XII: You have probably misunderestimated my haxorsskillz! :twisted: Now I'm going to take Copenhagen! 8)

England & Holland (in chorus): No you don't! We're going to solve this by diplomacy!

Karl XII: Diplomacy my @$$! I'm within spittiing distance from Copenhagen?!? And you are supposed to be our allies although you're neutral! :x

England & Holland: You've only posted like 10 posts. You can't overrule us! 8)

Denmark: That's right you n00b! :P

Karl XII: Oh... :oops: ok then. Peace on Denmark. Bugger...

Karl XII: :idea: Hey! There are still two armies I can beat! Towards Narva! Russians, here we come! :)

Russia: You have got to be joking! We're like ten times stronger! :o

Karl XII: Scared, are you?

Russia: Nooo... :?

Karl XII: Double six! Yes! Your army is completely annihilated! *does a happy dance*

Russia: That was the worst godmodding I've ever seen! :x :x :x

Karl XII: Fact stands! You're out! :P Now lemme see. To Moscow or to take on the bloody polish?

Russia: Poland! :(
Poland: Moscow! :(

Karl XII: Hmm, I can take out Russia again later. That was fun! Poland it is!

*five years later*

Karl XII: Now I'm like a king in Poland too! Haha! :D

Russia & Denmark: We have bought a new army! Our GDP is like so far superior! We declare war! Again! :evil:

Karl XII: Again? Haven't you learned the lesson? OOC: Sorry guyz, dinner. BBL!

Denmark: cya

Russia: l8er!

Poland: Good riddance! :evil:

pretty damn good Vikings! :lol:

Thanks! :D

Tutsis : I kill your president.
Hutus : wtf I kill 500 000 tutsis for now. I'm gonna kill the rest tomorrow.
UN : Hey! stop it or I'm gonna kick your asses.
US : shut up n00B. That's not your business. and Hutus is a godmodding wanker.
Hutus : I kill 500 000 more tutsis and 10 UN forces just for the hell of it lol.
US : whatever. *fires IGNORE cannon*