NationStates Jolt Archive

There was an interview with a woman on the radio this morning who suffered domestic abuse at the hands of her (now ex) husband. He's now awaiting prosecution for criminal damage to property.

This woman said she was lucky to have only been slapped & punched & had her hair pulled etc. Now I know she what she means, in that she's lucky not to have been stabbed/beaten/raped/killed...but what kind of f*cked up society are we living in when someone is expressing gratitude for any kind of abuse like that?

I wouldn't say that she was expressing gratitude...more a sense of relief.

Would you rather have her living the rest of her life looking at the negatives? I would say she is at least looking at things optomistically.

I wouldn't say that she was expressing gratitude...more a sense of relief.

Yeah, I can get that...but they were her words "I'm lucky" It made me sick to hear that someone can go through that & appear to be grateful.

I'm not having any kind of pop at her & her feelings, more the world we live in today

Would you rather have her living the rest of her life looking at the negatives? I would say she is at least looking at things optomistically.

Like I said to Jet, no criticism of her is intended

For some of the things I have been through in my life I am lucky to be alive as well as she is.

I would say she is thankful that she decided to act before things got worse...

For some of the things I have been through in my life I am lucky to be alive as well as she is.

I have similar emotions in regard to elements of my life (not actually being alive, but grateful things turned out as they did)

What I mean on this was the fact she actually phrased it as lucky that she was only slapped & punched etc, & it's awful that a life can be so eroded to the point when you are expressing 'gratitude' for want of a better word for any abuse

Whats worse to me, are those women who after repeated abuse, stay with thier abuser.
Many of these women insist that "he didnt mean it, or he'll never do it again"
Most of these women still claim to love the person doing the abusing.

That, I dont understand.

What it boils down to.....is that sometimes, the human mind can think that negative attention, is better than no attention.

Whats worse to me, are those women who after repeated abuse, stay with thier abuser.
Many of these women insist that "he didnt mean it, or he'll never do it again"
Most of these women still claim to love the person doing the abusing.

That, I dont understand.

What it boils down to.....is that sometimes, the human mind can think that negative attention, is better than no attention.

It is frightening what someone can convince themselves of, especially when they think they're in love

The other element to remember is that a lot of the abuse is psychological. A person's confidence can have been so eroded that they don't have the self-belief to get out & start another life. They can't actually believe that it's possible for them or that they are worth it

I know what your talking about, (as an eleven year old I got to watch such a scene... as well as additional embarrasement (pouring a bucket of water over her whilst she was sleeping in mine and my brothers room) and other such things) however my mother didn't take such things and almost pulled his darn shlong off in the big scrap...
and the abuse is generally about power, the spouse gains complete control emotionally, physically, financially... leaving partner completly dependent and shattered.