NationStates Jolt Archive

Invade Iraq? It's a no brainer

Terry Jones on what makes our leaders tick

Monday April 19, 2004
The Guardian

Everyone agrees that President George Bush's lobotomy has been a tremendous success.

Dick Cheney, the vice-president, declared that he was fully satisfied with it from his point of view.

"Without the lobotomy," Mr Cheney told the American Academy of Neurology, "it might have proved difficult to persuade the president to start wars all around the world without any good pretext. But the removal of those parts of the brain associated with understanding the outcome of one's actions has enabled the president to function fully and without hesitation. Even when it is clear that disaster is around the corner, as it is currently in Iraq, the chief executive is able to go on TV and announce that everything is on course and that he has no intention of changing tactics that have already proved disastrous.

"I would like to commend the surgeons, nurses and all involved with the operation," said Mr Cheney.

Similarly, Donald Rumsfeld regards the surgery as an unqualified success. He writes in this month's American Medical Association Journal: "The president's prefrontal leucotomy has successfully removed all neural reflexes resistant to war-profiteering. It is a tribute to the medical team who undertook this delicate operation that, no matter how close the connection between those instigating military action and the companies who benefit from it, the president is able to carry on as if he were morally in the right."

Paul Wolfowitz, the deputy secretary of defence, is also delighted at the beneficial effect that medical intervention has had on the president. "Just imagine how the president might have responded to Ariel Sharon's crazy schemes if we hadn't had the foresight to take out the neural pathways normally connected with perception and understanding," Mr Wolfowitz told a meeting of the Association of Muslim Neurosurgeons For An All-Jewish Israel. "The president is now capable of treating the man responsible for the massacres at Shatila and Sabra as a decent human being, whose advice on how to deal with the problems of Israel is worth not only listening to, but also taking."

With all this acclaim for the US president's lobotomy, it is scarcely surprising that Tony Blair, should have decided to follow suit and undergo similar psychosurgery.

Thanks to the inhibition of specific presynaptic terminals, Mr Blair now appears to feel totally comfortable giving his support to the US massacre in Falluja and to the activities of US snipers who have been so busy in that city shooting women, children and ambulance drivers in revenge for the murder of four mercenaries.

It is also believed that intervention in the motor speech area of his cortex now enables Mr Blair to describe Iraqis who respond negatively to having their houses blown up as "fanatics, extremists and terrorists".

Similarly ablation of the oculomotor nerve means that Mr Blair is now able to see Israeli plans to retain Jewish settlements in the West Bank as a big step forward in the Middle East peace process.

What has come as a complete surprise, however, is the recent revelation that Mr Blair's brain surgery may even predate President Bush's. For without the removal of large portions of his cerebellum, it is hard to understand how the British prime minister could have turned down Mr Bush's no-strings offer to keep British troops out of combat in Iraq.

Political commentators are thus finding it impossible to say whether it is Mr Bush or Mr Blair who has pioneered the use of executive lobotomies in the war against terrorism.

· Terry Jones is a writer, film director, actor and Python

SOURCE : http://www.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,3604,1194707,00.html

COMMENT
:lol:

Bush is the fool Nostradamus predicted would start WW3

Bush is the fool Nostradamus predicted would start WW3



Care to prove that?



BTW, Nostradamus was a fake and his predictions have no merit.

Bush is the fool Nostradamus predicted would start WW3



Care to prove that?



BTW, Nostradamus was a fake and his predictions have no merit.

Perhaps so.

Bit Bush makes Nostradamus look like a genius with incredible foresight.

Let's look at what Nostradamus didn't predict - the existence of WMDs in Iraq for example, or the Iraqi people welcoming Coalition troops as liberators, no none of that was Nostradamus.

How about the prediction that Sunni and Shiite uniting against a common enemy. No, that was neither.

Bush is the fool Nostradamus predicted would start WW3



Care to prove that?



BTW, Nostradamus was a fake and his predictions have no merit.

it was on the History channel--they said in one of his predictions Nostradamus made an anagram out of the name of Bush and Osama--the world is at the brink

it was on the History channel--they said in one of his predictions Nostradamus made an anagram out of the name of Bush and Osama--the world is at the brink

Must be true then, it was on TV.

For someone who goes on about media brain-washing, you really fell into that one.

BTW, I have seen many things that were on the History cahannel which were wrong

it was on the History channel--they said in one of his predictions Nostradamus made an anagram out of the name of Bush and Osama--the world is at the brink

Must be true then, it was on TV.

For someone who goes on about media brain-washing, you really fell into that one.

BTW, I have seen many things that were on the History cahannel which were wrong

History channel says LBJ and Co. killed JFK. :lol: Quality television.

I saw a program about that on FX 289. (A UK tv channel.)

The program was called: Penn & Teller: Bullsh*t!

In the program they noted the Bush anogram was crap. I was developed by a guy who wrote a book. in the 80's, some other arab guy was meant to be the Anti-christ, according to this moron. After he died, killing the Prophecy, the guy re-released the book after making up a new story-Saddam is now the anti-christ. then, he got OWNED by the americans. some antichrist.

Finally it was supposed to happen in 1999. Which proves it is complete Bullsh*t, as the program says. God some of you people are so stupid and ignorant.

I really am at a loss as to how this got sidetracked to Nostradamus.

I found it quite a wiity analysis of Bush, by an well known, and by many well loved, figure.

I really am at a loss as to how this got sidetracked to Nostradamus.

I found it quite a wiity analysis of Bush, by an well known, and by many well loved, figure.

It was and he is. It seems as if Terry Jones is trying to cut himself as a political satirist.

*bump*

I really am at a loss as to how this got sidetracked to Nostradamus.

I found it quite a wiity analysis of Bush, by an well known, and by many well loved, figure.

It was and he is. It seems as if Terry Jones is trying to cut himself as a political satirist.

*bump*

Bush is the fool Nostradamus predicted would start WW3



Care to prove that?



BTW, Nostradamus was a fake and his predictions have no merit.

Perhaps so.

Bit Bush makes Nostradamus look like a genius with incredible foresight.

Let's look at what Nostradamus didn't predict - the existence of WMDs in Iraq for example, or the Iraqi people welcoming Coalition troops as liberators, no none of that was Nostradamus.

How about the prediction that Sunni and Shiite uniting against a common enemy. No, that was neither.

This was perhaps even wittier... :lol:

*Bump*

*Bump*

Bush is the fool Nostradamus predicted would start WW3



Care to prove that?



BTW, Nostradamus was a fake and his predictions have no merit.

Perhaps so.

Bit Bush makes Nostradamus look like a genius with incredible foresight.

Let's look at what Nostradamus didn't predict - the existence of WMDs in Iraq for example, or the Iraqi people welcoming Coalition troops as liberators, no none of that was Nostradamus.

How about the prediction that Sunni and Shiite uniting against a common enemy. No, that was neither.

This was perhaps even wittier... :lol:

Aw shucks. :oops:

Kind of you to say so, but I would not rank myself with any of the Pythons.

There is a glaring omission left out of the article and out of the comments of all Brits. The involvement of the UK militarily and in planning of the war in Iraq. Bush this and American Fasicists that. Where is your own culpability? Are your soldiers not there? Did your leaders not order them there? Did you not, as you accuse Americans, not prevent your government from undertaking this? The Brittish like all Europeans are nothing but hypocrtites, you all claim that Americans are arrogant until you are blue in the face, and with the next breath you draw you do nothing but proclaim your own superiority.

It was that moron blair that sent our troops to play soldiers, and i doubt he will survive the next election. What a twat he is.

I hate war, and I hate warmongers. That is why I am sick of the government.

It was that moron blair that sent our troops to play soldiers, and i doubt he will survive the next election. What a twat he is.

I hate war, and I hate warmongers. That is why I am sick of the government.

He will. But I hope he doesn't get another landslide.

How about the prediction that Sunni and Shiite uniting against a common enemy. No, that was neither.

Sunni and Shiite?

Werent they a 60's singing group?

Babe,...I got you babe...."

As for The History Channel claiming that LBJ, and co killed Kennedy...
No they didnt.

The writers of that particluar documentary you are refering to say that..and..If Im not mistaken your refering to "The Men who Killed Kennedy"
That show offers a few different possibilities..

You werent paying attention were you?