Garaj Mahal
17-04-2004, 17:11
Why do so many women (at least here in North America) walk around with your eyes downcast/averted and wearing an unhappy expression when you're unaccompanied?
When I'm on the street, I make slight eye contact and offer a slightly friendly expression to most people I see, regardless if they're a woman or a man. To do this is to acknowledge everyone's humanity and importance as a fellow citizen. It also demonstrates a bit of quiet self-confidence.
So often it seems to me that many women have some instinctive neural alarm that tells them "Red alert - unknown male approaching! Avert eyes, and make all efforts to pretend he doesn't exist!"
I'm not one of these guys who think all women owe me acknowledgement or a smile. And trust me, I won't interpret eye contact as any sort of come-on - and I'm sure most other men wouldn't either. It's just that I feel the world would be better for *everybody* if we just gave more people a minimal acknowlegement when we pass each other on the street. What's to lose?
Even if you do encounter a man who leers back at you or gives you "elevator eyes", is that the end of the world? Why allow this dorky minority to dictate how you carry yourself in public and engage with everyone else?
I understand that many women have been bothered (or worse) by the occasional man and feel wary of us in general. But acting excessively shy in the street sends out a far stronger message of weakness/potential victimhood than acting friendly and self-confident does.
I don't mean to be insensitive or to chastise women for this, but it's something that's puzzled me all my life. Since the supposed postwar empowerment of women, it continues to.
When I'm on the street, I make slight eye contact and offer a slightly friendly expression to most people I see, regardless if they're a woman or a man. To do this is to acknowledge everyone's humanity and importance as a fellow citizen. It also demonstrates a bit of quiet self-confidence.
So often it seems to me that many women have some instinctive neural alarm that tells them "Red alert - unknown male approaching! Avert eyes, and make all efforts to pretend he doesn't exist!"
I'm not one of these guys who think all women owe me acknowledgement or a smile. And trust me, I won't interpret eye contact as any sort of come-on - and I'm sure most other men wouldn't either. It's just that I feel the world would be better for *everybody* if we just gave more people a minimal acknowlegement when we pass each other on the street. What's to lose?
Even if you do encounter a man who leers back at you or gives you "elevator eyes", is that the end of the world? Why allow this dorky minority to dictate how you carry yourself in public and engage with everyone else?
I understand that many women have been bothered (or worse) by the occasional man and feel wary of us in general. But acting excessively shy in the street sends out a far stronger message of weakness/potential victimhood than acting friendly and self-confident does.
I don't mean to be insensitive or to chastise women for this, but it's something that's puzzled me all my life. Since the supposed postwar empowerment of women, it continues to.