NationStates Jolt Archive

...the fourth digit on your digital scale is for exponents. ~ Michael.

ouch.



"Hey, look, the fat man made a funny"
-Stewie Griffen

you have 3 scales....one for each leg, and another for your gut

...your Internet filter makes it impossible for you to shop online for XXXL clothes. ~ Michael.

...if you buy your pants by the acre

. . .you have a personal area code. . .
. . . people start yelling "hey ho, coolaide" when you walk past. . .
. . .all-you-can-eat resturants refuse service to you. . .
. . .you appetizer is a 52 ounce steak. . .

...if you buy your pants by the acre hahaha i love that

...all-you-can-eat restaurants have asterisks in their signs pointing to clauses which read, "All-you-can-eat offer may change at any time without notice," just so they can legally get rid of you. ~ Michael.

...a fat tax would be a progressive tax...because you keep getting fatter. ~ Michael.

...your belly-button lint could clothe a third-world country.

If youve ever looked at Oprah and thought "I could look like that if I lost a few pounds"

...your mother or your girlfriend gives you a solar-powered calorie calculator, you add an extra solar panel and more LEDs, and you it still outputs "E" on a regular basis. ~ Michael.

...Dr. Atkins' trust fund babies thank you for funding their college educations. ~ Michael.

...you begin to iron your pants on the driveway

...you boost your pickup truck with a liftkit just to keep the chassis from scraping asphalt. ~ Michael.

has anyone seen monty pythons meaning of life with the wafer thin mint?? if you have, you know why its funny

...if the airbag accidentally deployed in your vehicle, the windshield would shatter. ~ Michael.

...you can strike oil in high heeled shoes

...you subscribe to premium cable channels so you won't miss any late-night infomercials describing the latest cookware. ~ Michael.

cooking shows make you horny

you can impersonate ariel sharon

...you look up information about obesity on About.com, and the editor has linked to your personal Web site. ~ Michael.

...your 5.2 megapixel digital camera runs out of memory. ~ Michael.

...you look up information about obesity on About.com, and the editor has linked to your personal Web site. ~ Michael.
about.com is a good website. i'm studying both french and japanese on there (along with other sites)

...you're fired from your job as bulldozer operator so your company can save diesel. ~ Michael.

...the nurse has to change the vacuum bag in the middle of liposuction surgery. ~ Michael.

You post fat jokes incessantly on a general forum thread with the thin hope that no one will catch onto to the fact that you are a self loathing swine

You post fat jokes incessantly on a general forum thread with the thin hope that no one will catch onto to the fact that you are a self loathing swine

That was ART

Jim

You post fat jokes incessantly on a general forum thread with the thin hope that no one will catch onto to the fact that you are a self loathing swinePerfection in a sentance :lol:

....if when your beeper goes off people think that you are backing up....

....if you use a highway lane becuase your too big for the sidewalk.

has anyone seen monty pythons meaning of life with the wafer thin mint?? if you have, you know why its funny

I haven't. Why is it funny?

You've gone through life taking abuse and scorn from insensitive morons.

You've gone through life taking abuse and scorn from insensitive morons.

Ouch, someone sounds bitter. Sorry buddy. :?

You post fat jokes incessantly on a general forum thread with the thin hope that no one will catch onto to the fact that you are a self loathing swine

lol well said.