NationStates Jolt Archive

I heard this joke in church today, and I figured I'd share it.

A town is stricken with a drought and the townspeople start to get desperate. They assemble everyone outside and all the religions leaders of the town-- priests, rabbis, etc.-- come out to pray for rain.

As soon as they're finished, raindrops start to fall from the sky and everyone sees it as a miracle. The people hold up their rosary beads, yarmulkes, crucifixes, etc. to show their praise for God.

But there's one 11-year old boy who didn't bring a religious item and he held it up high. For he truly had brought something that proclaimed his faith:

An umbrella.

Ehn, not too funny. BTW, I'd laugh if I saw someone hold their yarmulke up high :lol:

Ehn, not too funny. BTW, I'd laugh if I saw someone hold their yarmulke up high :lol:

Well, it was church. Although today's mass was the first time I'd ever heard the term "whale doo-doo" used in a homily before.

Eh, not that great. It's alright I guess, but nothing special.

Ehn, not too funny. BTW, I'd laugh if I saw someone hold their yarmulke up high :lol:

Well, it was church. Although today's mass was the first time I'd ever heard the term "whale doo-doo" used in a homily before.

wuts a homily

Ehn, not too funny. BTW, I'd laugh if I saw someone hold their yarmulke up high :lol:

Well, it was church. Although today's mass was the first time I'd ever heard the term "whale doo-doo" used in a homily before.

wuts a homily

It's where the priest gets up and tells a story or something that relates to the subject of the mass. Instead of reading the Scriptures all day, they use this to lighten the mood (althoughit's one of the longer parts of the mass).

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

Ehn, not too funny. BTW, I'd laugh if I saw someone hold their yarmulke up high :lol:

Well, it was church. Although today's mass was the first time I'd ever heard the term "whale doo-doo" used in a homily before.

wuts a homily

It's where the priest gets up and tells a story or something that relates to the subject of the mass. Instead of reading the Scriptures all day, they use this to lighten the mood (althoughit's one of the longer parts of the mass).

ohh, that would be cool if they had stand-up homil..iers tell homilies and then get rated by the congregations' applause and go on the nation homily-telling circuit

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?

Nope. That only happens if you REALLY piss peeps off

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?


No.....they just had enough of you.....

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?

If you're super annoying and continue to annoy people, then yes. I offered you advice; you choose to not take it. Continue to not take it.... see how many nations you loose. :wink:

~Bas

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?

If you're super annoying and continue to annoy people, then yes. I offered you advice; you choose to not take it. Continue to not take it.... see how many nations you loose. :wink:

~Bas

Always listen to Bas.

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?

If you're super annoying and continue to annoy people, then yes. I offered you advice; you choose to not take it. Continue to not take it.... see how many nations you loose. :wink:

~Bas

And if you're really bad, they take you out the back and shoot you too...

http://www.eunos.com/keith/brb/images/brb_sm.gif (http://fua.board.dk3.com/2/index.php)
DO NOT PRESS
THIS BUTTON

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/mofo.gif

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?

If you're super annoying and continue to annoy people, then yes. I offered you advice; you choose to not take it. Continue to not take it.... see how many nations you loose. :wink:

~Bas

And if you're really bad, they take you out the back and shoot you too...

http://www.eunos.com/keith/brb/images/brb_sm.gif (http://fua.board.dk3.com/2/index.php)
DO NOT PRESS
THIS BUTTON

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/mofo.gif

What's the button do?

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?

If you're super annoying and continue to annoy people, then yes. I offered you advice; you choose to not take it. Continue to not take it.... see how many nations you loose. :wink:

~Bas

And if you're really bad, they take you out the back and shoot you too...

http://www.eunos.com/keith/brb/images/brb_sm.gif (http://fua.board.dk3.com/2/index.php)
DO NOT PRESS
THIS BUTTON

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/mofo.gif holy shit, beekers a mod there is that like a evil/alternate reality version of nationstates? (marathons a mod too, WTF?)

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?

If you're super annoying and continue to annoy people, then yes. I offered you advice; you choose to not take it. Continue to not take it.... see how many nations you loose. :wink:

~Bas

And if you're really bad, they take you out the back and shoot you too...

http://www.eunos.com/keith/brb/images/brb_sm.gif (http://fua.board.dk3.com/2/index.php)
DO NOT PRESS
THIS BUTTON

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/mofo.gif

What's the button do?

Stops time, ends the universe and opens my garage door. Nifty, eh?

http://www.eunos.com/keith/brb/images/brb_sm.gif (http://fua.board.dk3.com/2/index.php)
DO NOT PRESS
THIS BUTTON

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/mofo.gif

I have a question...
IF your topic or thread gets locked...does that mean they take away your nation too?

If you're super annoying and continue to annoy people, then yes. I offered you advice; you choose to not take it. Continue to not take it.... see how many nations you loose. :wink:

~Bas

And if you're really bad, they take you out the back and shoot you too...

http://www.eunos.com/keith/brb/images/brb_sm.gif (http://fua.board.dk3.com/2/index.php)
DO NOT PRESS
THIS BUTTON

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/mofo.gif holy shit, beekers a mod there is that like a evil/alternate reality version of nationstates? (marathons a mod too, WTF?)

Dammit, I did tell you not to press the button, didn't I?

http://www.eunos.com/keith/brb/images/brb_sm.gif (http://fua.board.dk3.com/2/index.php)
DO NOT PRESS
THIS BUTTON

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/mofo.gif

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

Alas, poor Fugly Man 666, we knew him but briefly. Thank God.

http://www.eunos.com/keith/brb/images/brb_sm.gif (http://fua.board.dk3.com/2/index.php)
DO NOT PRESS
THIS BUTTON

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/geno/mofo.gif

It's more of like a story with a moral then a joke. But it is pretty good.

A homily is just a short sermon, ten minutes or so.

Does anybody remember those billboard "messages from God"?

Things like: "I see you're all still fighting down there; go to your rooms, now!...GOD"

I thought they were amusing.

A homily is just a short sermon, ten minutes or so.

Does anybody remember those billboard "messages from God"?

Things like: "I see you're all still fighting down there; go to your rooms, now!...GOD"

I thought they were amusing.

lol, yeah, I like those too

I've got a joke:

This teacher decides to teach her class of young children about sex so she draws a penis on the board nad says "can anyone tell me what this is called?"
A little girl puts her hand up and shots "I know I know"
The teacher is intruiged and replys "go on then"
"I dont what it's called but my dady has 2 of them"
"How is that then?"
"Well, he has a little small one for going wee wee with and a big long one for bruching the babysiters teeth with"

I heard this joke in church today, and I figured I'd share it.

A town is stricken with a drought and the townspeople start to get desperate. They assemble everyone outside and all the religions leaders of the town-- priests, rabbis, etc.-- come out to pray for rain.

As soon as they're finished, raindrops start to fall from the sky and everyone sees it as a miracle. The people hold up their rosary beads, yarmulkes, crucifixes, etc. to show their praise for God.

But there's one 11-year old boy who didn't bring a religious item and he held it up high. For he truly had brought something that proclaimed his faith:

An umbrella.Mildly funny, but so true.

I've an offensive joke, but it's funny. Hitler and a friend are sitting in a bar in 1921, Hitler says "Watch, I'll prove it" and then stands up and shouts "Someday, I will kill all the Jews and 7 musicians" He then sits down and another man says "Why are you going to kill 7 musicians?" and Hitler says to his friend "See, I told you no-one gives a damn about the Jews."

I've an offensive joke, but it's funny. Hitler and a friend are sitting in a bar in 1921, Hitler says "Watch, I'll prove it" and then stands up and shouts "Someday, I will kill all the Jews and 7 musicians" He then sits down and another man says "Why are you going to kill 7 musicians?" and Hitler says to his friend "See, I told you no-one gives a damn about the Jews."

Yeah..misconstrued I see how it can be offensive. But funny it is.