NationStates Jolt Archive

Wut do you think? Can women and men be friends instead of lovers? Cause i think i sometimes lust after my female friends (SOMETIMES, NOT ALWAYS) and i.....dont think they do the same to me, so yea...

So can they?

of course they can - there's no reason why they shouldn't be
but trust me, think very carefully before taking things further..I don't deny that sometimes it can work, but when it doesn't it's heartbreaking to lose a friend

i have loads of friends that are lads, i only fancy one of them

Of course they can. My best friend (well, next to my husband) is a guy I've been friends with since I was 8 years old. I'm now 35. We never have even kissed. However, we are the best of friends. I know men & women can be friends.

Sure, you can even be friends with someone you've been romantically interested in. One of my best friends in the world is a guy I had the biggest crush on for several years - there were even a few times where I thought we *might* just get together, but now I'm glad we were never romantically involved, cuz I just love him to death and he's one of the best friends I've ever had. =)

Rather irritatingly, I can't remain friends with a girl for very long without considering taking it further. There are exceptions to every rule of course, but I think that generally most guys will tend to hedge their bets a bit.

Everyone always thinks I'm a skirt chaser, so mayb thats why women dont really like to be my friend, even if I'm not a skirt chaser. And i agree with Spoffin... guys do tend to try totake things further, or at least think about it. 8)

One of my very best friends is a woman I've known for about 25 years. Many men would find her very attractive, but she was never "my type" and I was never hers. I love her like a sister; anything else would just feel ridiculous and weird.

A few years ago she asked me to be the one to "give her away" at her wedding since her father is not in her life - I was totally honoured to do this for her. Of course she and her husband were the first people I invited to my own wedding a few years later. :)

Umm... duh? Girls make awesome friends! But I don't know if I could spend TOO much time with them without getting some sort of interest...

Of course males and females can be friends, even after lots and lots of sexual history and a messy break up, not that I would know or anything :oops: , I'm just saying.

Duplicate Post

Yes, but only if one or both are gay. :lol:

Just kidding.

Of course they can't be friends. I mean look, sex!

...

i have loads of friends that are lads, i only fancy one of them

It seems to be that way with me too, but maybe I just don't recognize the signals people supposedly send to each other, I don't know.

Of course women and men could be friends. Hell, I'm bi and still, somehow, manage to be "just" friends with both the female and male genders. :D

I give up. I dont think its possible, or mayb not with me... but i still dont get wut im doing wrong. I mean, i do my utmost NOT to lust after them, and NOT to hit on them, but we're all single, so we end up doing flirty stuff...

Maybe that's all it is, being flirty. I guess i should stop thinking about it that way..

All of my best friends have always been women, for whatever reason - I suppose I could list quite a few, but it has always seemed much nicer to be around them than other men.

Quite frankly, I have never really understood what the great thing about having other male friends was - considering how fascinating women are, I'd rather spend time with them than anyone else - even if it is a strictly plutonic relationship. :P

Prime Minister Mesto auf Mezzenrach

My best friend is a girl. I want her so bad though.

I think if you have a friend of the opposite sex for a while, some tension does build and feelings can develop, but most of the time they are not genuine and don't last.

Other than that, of course it's possible. Most of my friends are guys, and I'm not sexually attracted to any of them.

My best friend is a girl. I want her so bad though.

Yea...kinda my problem too.

My best friend is a girl. I want her so bad though.
haha, that is totally awesome!

My best friend is a girl. I want her so bad though.

Yea...kinda my problem too.

suckers, :D i mean welcome to the club :?

My best friend is a girl. I want her so bad though.
haha, that is totally awesome!

She's hot and she's always horny. Her and this girl from her dorm get it on all the time.

She's like the uber bisexual.

Of course men and women can be friends. I'm a woman and have lots of male friends.

Everyone always thinks I'm a skirt chaser, so mayb thats why women dont really like to be my friend, even if I'm not a skirt chaser. And i agree with Spoffin... guys do tend to try totake things further, or at least think about it. 8)

Yeah, guys tend to try, but with practice a girl can neatly sidestep their attempts and carry on being just friends. :) I try to let them down gently.

I have plenty of friends who are guys. I also do not think friendship is impossible after intimacy. My bestfriend is the guy I am seeing, and even if we choose to see other people we really value each other's friendship and couldn't imagine not having it.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

a groundbreaking theory

males are disadvantaged...it seems to me that either women arent horny or they are just as horny as guys are but are better at hiding it.

They can. Its just at one point they are likely to want to take thign further maybe.

males are disadvantaged...it seems to me that either women arent horny or they are just as horny as guys are but are better at hiding it.

Not exactly, men and women's sexual drives kick in at different times. Men go through that usually between the ages of about 17-21, and women don'e have it until they are about 30.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

a groundbreaking theory

^ Truth.

Things change as you grow older. At the 15-20 stage for males atleast, there can be a lot of romantic feelings. I'm 18 and i've actually had a relationship with one of my female friends. It didn't turn out badly but I think we were to far along in the relationship. It is possible to have friends of the opposite sex, but it gets easier as you grow up, guys.

My best friend is a girl. I want her so bad though.

Yea...kinda my problem too.

how many of us this does that happen to?

I really want to throw her onto the bed and kiss her all over *sigh*

Is there something wrong with that?

I hope she isnt reading this... :D

hate it when that happens. and it seems to happen alot. this girl aint exactly my "best" friend, but we're pretty tight. not sure if as obsessed as some of the people here, but it kinda sucks when this happens and if you just want nothing else but to tell her, but if u do it'l screw everything up.
doesnt help that she was a bf either.

Wow. This is very informative.

I have no guy friends... I'm the shyest girl on earth. Sad, huh?

You can be friends and have casual sex.

Wow. This is very informative.

I have no guy friends... I'm the shyest girl on earth. Sad, huh?

not sad. the shy girls are often the prettiest. they just dont waste it on the slut apeal that the vally girls do

PFFFFFFFFFFT you make me answer the easiest question....GOd say yes

I am just freinds with lots of females. It work just fine for me.
Except for the goddess of course. But then, none of the other females i know are goddesses.

Hmm. Well, I was going to say of course and that anyone who says otherwise is a dumbass.

Then I read the ladder theory and frankly it makes some good points. My three close male friends are 1) bisexual and with at least four people above me on his ladder, 2) gay, and 3) prepubescent. All the rest, I realize, are more casual acquaintances, female friends' boyfriends, or friends of friends. Not to mention the fact that most of my male-friend history comes from people I had crushes on before we became friends...

Men and women can be freinds, so long as the guy is gay.

JK. I think freindship is universal.

Of course men and women can be friends. I'm a woman and have lots of male friends.

"friends".... :wink: just kidding

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

a groundbreaking theory

^ Truth.

take a minuite to digest it... I think theres very little relation between sciene and reality anyway

Wow. This is very informative.

I have no guy friends... I'm the shyest girl on earth. Sad, huh?

i find shyness really attractive.

That's informative too. I wonder how many guys think like that? Hopefully a lot. ;)

shyness is to guys as mysteriousness is to girls.
im bad at analogies. please bear with me

shyness is to guys as mysteriousness is to girls.
im bad at analogies. please bear with me
shyness is to guys as rich bastard like doonald trump is to girls

thats a bit harsh, dontcha think?

i have a lot of friends that are girls....but no matter what happens, they ALWAYS just love me like a brother. :( :cry:

i have a lot of friends that are girls....but no matter what happens, they ALWAYS just love me like a brother. :( :cry:

Ouch. Are you ugly?

That was an example of my proven technique for at-the-very-least-not being-loved-like-a-brother-jesus-does-that-phrase-annoy-me entitled: being an asshole. Give it a try, it's fun and effective!

i have a lot of friends that are girls....but no matter what happens, they ALWAYS just love me like a brother. :( :cry:

Ouch. Are you ugly?

That was an example of my proven technique for at-the-very-least-not being-loved-like-a-brother-jesus-does-that-phrase-annoy-me entitled: being an asshole. Give it a try, it's fun and effective!

i guess i'm ugly....i dont know, cant say i turn myself on :D .
I've always been the nice, shy guy. And the girls always go for the asshole. Sucks....but oh well.

i have a lot of friends that are girls....but no matter what happens, they ALWAYS just love me like a brother. :( :cry:

Ouch. Are you ugly?

That was an example of my proven technique for at-the-very-least-not being-loved-like-a-brother-jesus-does-that-phrase-annoy-me entitled: being an asshole. Give it a try, it's fun and effective!

i guess i'm ugly....i dont know, cant say i turn myself on :D .
I've always been the nice, shy guy. And the girls always go for the asshole. Sucks....but oh well.

It doesn't seem fair, I know. But it makes sense, evolutionarily speaking. Which monkey is more likely survive and support progeny; the asshole monkey who punches other monkeys in the balls and steals their bananas, or the nice monkey who lets him?

i have a lot of friends that are girls....but no matter what happens, they ALWAYS just love me like a brother. :( :cry:

Ouch. Are you ugly?

That was an example of my proven technique for at-the-very-least-not being-loved-like-a-brother-jesus-does-that-phrase-annoy-me entitled: being an asshole. Give it a try, it's fun and effective!

i guess i'm ugly....i dont know, cant say i turn myself on :D .
I've always been the nice, shy guy. And the girls always go for the asshole. Sucks....but oh well.

It doesn't seem fair, I know. But it makes sense, evolutionarily speaking. Which monkey is more likely survive and support progeny; the asshole monkey who punches other monkeys in the balls and steals their bananas, or the nice monkey who lets him?

hey, i never said anything about letting anybody steal anything from me...or punchin me in the balls. I'm talking about girls going for the guys that treat them like crap. then they complain about it to me. But if any prick tries to steal or hit me, i aint taking that.

i have a lot of friends that are girls....but no matter what happens, they ALWAYS just love me like a brother. :( :cry:

Ouch. Are you ugly?

That was an example of my proven technique for at-the-very-least-not being-loved-like-a-brother-jesus-does-that-phrase-annoy-me entitled: being an asshole. Give it a try, it's fun and effective!

i guess i'm ugly....i dont know, cant say i turn myself on :D .
I've always been the nice, shy guy. And the girls always go for the asshole. Sucks....but oh well.

It doesn't seem fair, I know. But it makes sense, evolutionarily speaking. Which monkey is more likely survive and support progeny; the asshole monkey who punches other monkeys in the balls and steals their bananas, or the nice monkey who lets him?

hey, i never said anything about letting anybody steal anything from me...or punchin me in the balls. I'm talking about girls going for the guys that treat them like crap. then they complain about it to me. But if any prick tries to steal or hit me, i aint taking that.

Everybody in the world is constantly having metaphorical bananas stolen from them in one form or another. These girls, for example, seem to be getting punched in the balls good and regular, and are turning to you, a possible supporter. Flash your fangs! Defend the Kraal! Bag a monkey-ette!

The way I see it, women can "just be friends" with guys.

Guys on the other hand, want NOTHING MORE TO THAN TO BANG THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT of most/all women that they're willing to be friends with in the first place. It's inevitable. Sure, we can be friends, but at the same time, the guy will be thinking "woah, my friend's rack is looking GREAT today". It's not a bad thing, it just so happens that when a guy spends any large amount of time around an elligible (and sometimes not) female, he's going to begin to admire and want her body more and more. It's probably simply because he sees more and more aspects of that body and begins to notice when it looks especially attractive. It just happens. So I voted no, we can't be friends, because the guy is always going to want more. That doesn't mean we still can't hang out and do friend things, but ideally, the guys want to be f*$&-buddies with just about everyone.

i have a lot of friends that are girls....but no matter what happens, they ALWAYS just love me like a brother. :( :cry:

Ouch. Are you ugly?

That was an example of my proven technique for at-the-very-least-not being-loved-like-a-brother-jesus-does-that-phrase-annoy-me entitled: being an asshole. Give it a try, it's fun and effective!

i guess i'm ugly....i dont know, cant say i turn myself on :D .
I've always been the nice, shy guy. And the girls always go for the asshole. Sucks....but oh well.

It doesn't seem fair, I know. But it makes sense, evolutionarily speaking. Which monkey is more likely survive and support progeny; the asshole monkey who punches other monkeys in the balls and steals their bananas, or the nice monkey who lets him?

hey, i never said anything about letting anybody steal anything from me...or punchin me in the balls. I'm talking about girls going for the guys that treat them like crap. then they complain about it to me. But if any prick tries to steal or hit me, i aint taking that.

Everybody in the world is constantly having metaphorical bananas stolen from them in one form or another. These girls, for example, seem to be getting punched in the balls good and regular, and are turning to you, a possible supporter. Flash your fangs! Defend the Kraal! Bag a monkey-ette!

You make a very, very good point. However, thinking about it a little longer, I have another idea. Maybe the girls are attracted to the fact that these jerks have the monkey-ball-punching ability. If you were to exhibit that ability too, you might get yourself a female. It could be that the girls are attracted to the fact that the guys are treating everything around them, including the girls, like crap, because they're buff enough to get away with it. That's pretty cool, if you think about it, if you're just nuts enough to get by on your own, without anyone and anything, so you don't give a crap about what happens to anyone else. Obviously, it takes a one-in-a-million kind of guy to really be that nuts, BUT, these guys are probably pretty good actors. Call them on their bluff, and/or kick the crap out of them and show them that you're more monkey than they are.

Same suggestion, different reason,

I myself have a woman who is a year my senior as my closest friend. Did I have the purest intentions when I started hanging out with her?

Hell NO I did not! She was the hottest piece of tail within five hundred clicks I sh!t you not. Yet somewhere down that path of mutual understanding that occurs between two people, I got stranded in the friend zone, and once you are there, there is NO escape. It's worse than a god damn black hole, once again I sh!t you not.

But she is as dependable of a friend as anyone could be, the only one who hasn't stabbed me in the back, so I guess I should count my blessings eh? :wink:

Yeah, but you still wish you could just, for one night, go wild on her candy ass, right? That's friends, with a want for f@#$-buddies.

Yeah, but you still wish you could just, for one night, go wild on her candy ass, right? That's friends, with a want for f@#$-buddies.

Well, thats somewhat difficult in my case, she's married, I lost my chance with her a while ago. :(

oh you know you still WANT it =)

oh you know you still WANT it =)

Well, probably, but I aint holding any hope out for that anytime soon. Its much better to bang a woman you ARENT friends with, there's less issues that way. Also more risk of disease, but thats a whole other issue.

shyness is to guys as mysteriousness is to girls.
im bad at analogies. please bear with me

Sounds good, then.

Haha 'the women like them cause they treat everyone like crap and they're too buff for any1 to do anythign about it.'

screw buff... buff doesnt mean anything against a steel stick or a gun, which seems to be the weapon of choice for tdays ppo.

Damn we had a great convo going...where'd it go off to?

Oh and that intellectual whore thing is pretty... reasonable.. that is to say that it makes sense and stuff.

I hate it when people make it a "men vs women" thing. "The more we think about our differences, the more we realize whats wrong with others," my school's Dean used to say.

It's not 'men vs women.'

its 'can men and women be friends?'

so wut do u think?

Yes men and women can be friends. It is a precursor to fucking.

It's not 'men vs women.'

its 'can men and women be friends?'

so wut do u think?

But your suggesting that men and women are different species. The only conversation that needs to be held is how to deal with the idiots who still think one side or the other is superior.

I'm upset with men who think women are inferior, but I'm especially upset with women who think men are inferior. It so hypocricial!

Every time a feminist bitches at me I just bring up the fact that men have dominated society for the past 3000 years.

I am too lazy to check to see if anyone has made this reference yet, but in "When Harry Met Sally", Billy Crystal says, "Men and women can never be friends because the sex always gets in the way."

I have several female friends, I have however, had the problem of developing romantic feelings for a couple female friends in the past, it definately is a strange problem. I've managed to remain friends with one who I even told I had feelings for, at the time. She's still one of my close friends. I understand where you're coming from, though.

Yes, you can indeed.

But not when romantic interest gets in the way. Note: romantic interest, not lust.

Lust is fine. Lust also occaisionally gets satisfied by it. (sometimes)

Every time a feminist bitches at me I just bring up the fact that men have dominated society for the past 3000 years.

I think that's WHY feminists bitch.....

I'm no feminist though...

And I doubt men and women can just be friends, one always falls for the other.

The joke answer is, yes men and women can get along (so long as the guys gay)

HA!

I've certainly never seen that line in this thread before.

Yes...but firm boundaries must often be set.