NationStates Jolt Archive

Ahhhh...http://www.templarhistory.com/eastern.gif

Wowzers, and all I saw was a few lines, until JACK CHICK showed me the way! Can I get an amen?

Anyone else got something

sorry, I don't really believe in a god so no amen. But funny stuff there. Jack Chick is amusing.

sorry, I don't really believe in a god so no amen. But funny stuff there. Jack Chick is amusing.

Amen means something close to "I agree," so you can be an atheist and use the word amen. And yes Jack Chick is funny.

I'd love to meet someone who could actually convert to baptistism over a comic strip bashing their current religion :P

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1051/1051_01.asp

I found a chick tract with a deformed midget in it. :lol: (in square # 21 and 24).

A friend of mine edited it a bit:
http://www.myimgs.com/data/Squeedleklotch/JackChickparody1.jpg
http://www.imageshack.us/img2/4750/JackChickParody3.JPG

Has anyone found the Jack Chick comic where it says I'm going to hell for playing Dungeons and Dragons yet?

DP

Has anyone found the Jack Chick comic where it says I'm going to hell for playing Dungeons and Dragons yet?

Here:http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

Nooooooo!!!! BLACK LEAF!!!!! :lol:

I love that the proof they use to say the world was created in 6 days was that "God was there he should know".......... :D

Factual flaws of the D&D one:

No girl has ever played D&D, let alone four at once.
Whiny girl was fighting a zombie but there was no Dungeon master? Huh?
Marcie did have to do that.
Magic powers would be kickass.
I wanted Warhammer to be implicated ;(

Otherwise it's all true.

http://www.chick.com/reading/comics/0114/0114_fourpages.asp?Pg=01

So it was the Catholics that killed 6 milion Jews?

Exactly, despite the fact that the Pope actually saved a few Jews, and all the double dealing Hitler had to do to keep German Catholics from taking any of his power. And you know, despite the fact that Mussolini had to be grossly pressured by the Nazis before he started any extermination of the Jews. So it was clearly all Catholicism's fault.

Well Jack Chick has to find some reason to be mad at other religions....

Well Jack Chick has to find some reason to be mad at other religions....

Actually it seems to be just one Catholicism, according to Chick the Vatican is behind:

The Nazi Party
Communism
Islam
Mormonism
...And basically anything else he doesn't like, All evil in Chick's world seems to come from the Vatican.

Well Jack Chick has to find some reason to be mad at other religions....

Actually it seems to be just one Catholicism, according to Chick the Vatican is behind:

The Nazi Party
Communism
Islam
Mormonism
...And basically anything else he doesn't like, All evil in Chick's world seems to come from the Vatican.


He also doesnt like Islam Wiccan Culture Druids Satanists Masonists and the Jews

I love this one...Witchcraft to get better at volleyball:

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0064/0064_01.asp
:lol: :lol: :lol:

In case you guys couldn't tell, Jack Chick is a baptist-biased site... duh? :P

In case you guys couldn't tell, Jack Chick is a baptist-biased site... duh? :P

What's a babtist?

Does anyone aside from me get the impression that half of these tracts are fake?

Though, of course, the fact that I've read most of these and that I've noticed that the words have been changed around may be clouding my judgement somehow.

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

Does anyone aside from me get the impression that half of these tracts are fake?

Though, of course, the fact that I've read most of these and that I've noticed that the words have been changed around may be clouding my judgement somehow.

Some of these have been handed to me in the street (I take the bus alot...bus-stops are hangouts for these "kind" of people)
They were in Icelandic though, but they don't seem to have been changed.

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

*coughmagicunderwearcough*

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

*coughmagicunderwearcough*hey man, at least my Religion doesn't have a "Save the baptists from hell" program :P

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

*coughmagicunderwearcough*hey man, at least my Religion doesn't have a "Save the baptists from hell" program :P

I don't really know what the baptists are about, I don't think there are any in Reykjavík. If there are, I've never run into them.

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

Please don't tar all Islam with that brush.
From the Qur'an:
And dispute ye not with the People of the Book, except with means better (than mere disputation), unless it be with those of them who inflict wrong (and injury): but say, 'We believe in the revelation which has come down to us and in that which came down to you; Our Allah and your Allah is one; and it is to Him we bow (in Islam). (XXIX: The Spider: 46)

Of course there are equally intolerant Muslims. There are equally intolerant Hindus, Jews, Zoroastrians, atheists, and even Buddhists.

Speaking of Buddhists, has anyone seen his tract "The Tycoon"? It portrays the Buddhist main character as, get this, a capitalist money grubbing millionare who wears sunglasses and is driven around in a limo.

After I saw that I realized the man must either be joking or totally insane.

Possibly both.

Speaking of Buddhists, has anyone seen his tract "The Tycoon"? It portrays the Buddhist main character as, get this, a capitalist money grubbing millionare who wears sunglasses and is driven around in a limo.

After I saw that I realized the man must either be joking or totally insane.

Possibly both.

Maybe he's just dumb?

Speaking of Buddhists, has anyone seen his tract "The Tycoon"? It portrays the Buddhist main character as, get this, a capitalist money grubbing millionare who wears sunglasses and is driven around in a limo.

After I saw that I realized the man must either be joking or totally insane.

Possibly both.

Maybe he's just dumb?

These tracs are hilarious !! I have know several satanist and dated (and was married to one) wiccans, and I have never seen them sacrifice a baby, yet ol chicky-poo seems to think that is what they are all about...And halloween is not satans birthday...He cracks me up.

I'm sure ol' Jack has several tracts about us Atheists...does he have one where we're all either secretly Satanists or building self-worship temples for after we secularize the world?

Note: I have heard people tell me that all Atheists are building self-worship temples. That's a lie. We aren't. I promise. My self-worship temple isn't anywhere near the construction phase yet (but you didn't hear this from me).

A serious note: if anyone has seen those tracts, can you either post the links here or TG them to me? Thanks.

Has anyone seen the fabled Harry Potter tract? Ive yet to find it but knowing this bozo im SURE it exists!

http://www.chick.com/tracttips/



People will thank you for handing them a tract? I would just laugh at its hilarity then proceed to punch the distributer in the face

Dont Let people Say This About you!!!
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0945/0945_01.asp

Absoutly freaking funny... "Oh thank you! you saved my SOul! what a Fool I was! this simple piece of paper has changed my eniter views about the whole World!!!"

If I was a christian I would stop after reading these

Being shy didn't stop me!

"My husband is a minister who does evangelistic work, but I am shy. I am active in my church but I wanted so much to witness to non-Christians...
I have been leaving Chick tracts everywhere! I leave them on shelves in the grocery store and drug stores, on phone booths, on newspaper boxes, in restaurants, in public restrooms, at the doctor's office. I made special trips to the local health department, WIC clinic, homeless health clinic...just to leave tracts. Even the food stamp office and Dept. of Human Services waiting rooms. The public library. Outside the high school in a bad neighborhood. I wrap them in plastic and toss them in driveways! I scan the local section of our paper for people convicted of DUI or other crimes and mail the tracts! If people did this in every town, so many could be reached. Oh yes, I send SOMEBODY LOVES ME to abortion clinics."

Isn't this just littering on a massive scale?

I find the people who give this stuff out on Halloween (http://www.chick.com/seasonal/halloween/default.asp?FROM=Tracttips) fairly offensive for targeting impressionable children with this stuff.

http://www.chick.com/tractimages42100/0018/0018_05.gif
Gotta love Chick's "It's OK to speak for God, Cuz it's in the Bible" point of view.

Has anyone found the Jack Chick comic where it says I'm going to hell for playing Dungeons and Dragons yet?

That would be Dark Dungeons :)

Factual flaws of the D&D one:

No girl has ever played D&D, let alone four at once.
Whiny girl was fighting a zombie but there was no Dungeon master? Huh?
Marcie did have to do that.
Magic powers would be kickass.
I wanted Warhammer to be implicated ;(

Otherwise it's all true.

I'm a girl and I've been playing D&D for about 10 years. Granted there aren't as *many* female gamers as male ones, but I know a few.
:P

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

That's a massive generalisation. There are several different forms of Islam which differ from each other as greatly as Roman Catholics do from protestants. Some Muslims might be bigoted and act that way, but it is very unfair to assume that they all do.

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

That's a massive generalisation. There are several different forms of Islam which differ from each other as greatly as Roman Catholics do from protestants. Some Muslims might be bigoted and act that way, but it is very unfair to assume that they all do.

I particularly loved the section on 'What happens to Chick Tracts after they're handed out' Well, I gave the one some fu<kmook gave me in the street to my cat to shred for his amusement. :lol:

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

That's a massive generalisation. There are several different forms of Islam which differ from each other as greatly as Roman Catholics do from protestants. Some Muslims might be bigoted and act that way, but it is very unfair to assume that they all do.

I find that generalisations can be responded to in kind...Gently nudge him in the direction that will allow him to see the error of his ways, here's an example:
"All the people in Utah are deranged polygamist pedophiles and believe in magic underwear"

Wow! I've found a new favourite Chick panel:

http://www.chick.com/tractimages42100/0087/0087_18.gif

Wow! I've found a new favourite Chick panel:

http://www.chick.com/tractimages42100/0087/0087_18.gif

This one is my favorite...
http://www.chick.com/tractimages42100/0027/0027_17.gif

The angel with the Videocamera is a classic :lol:

Wow! I've found a new favourite Chick panel:

http://www.chick.com/tractimages42100/0087/0087_18.gif

This one is my favorite...
http://www.chick.com/tractimages42100/0027/0027_17.gif

The angel with the Videocamera is a classic :lol:

:lol: That's great!

Wow! I've found a new favourite Chick panel:

http://www.chick.com/tractimages42100/0087/0087_18.gif

Now I'm kinda new to the "destruction of the world" idea, but isn't eliminating the economy no better than a bad one?

Anyway, I got some of these from fundamental kinfolk I'd forgotten about. I think I sold them off in a garage sale. I do like the cat suggestion someone placed earlier.

I wonder if he'll do a tract based on this:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/04/04/opinion/courtwatch/main610182.shtml

Should tracts, bibles, q'rans etc. carry mental health warnings? "Not to be taken seriously"; "If believed, flush out brain with cold running water"; "Do not swallow", and so on.

We're gonna rock rock rock
Rock with the ROCK!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0034/0034_01.asp

Oh and don't drive with Christians!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5025/5025_01.asp

Speaking of Buddhists, has anyone seen his tract "The Tycoon"? It portrays the Buddhist main character as, get this, a capitalist money grubbing millionare who wears sunglasses and is driven around in a limo.

After I saw that I realized the man must either be joking or totally insane.

Possibly both.

BTW, I am Buddhist. I had to look that one up. The man has no understanding of Buddhism. At all.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0016/0016%5F01.asp

Golden Buddha award? "Merit" for paying for temples? reincarnation as the goal? "Sin is only an obstical of ignorance"?

I hope he awakens soon.

(And, for the record, my teacher, an ordained lama in thge Tibetian traditions, regularly teaches "Western mysteries", including Sufism and "Christ Conciousness"

Factual flaws of the D&D one:

No girl has ever played D&D, let alone four at once.


Untrue. Two of my girlfriends have played D&D, one has GM'd, and most of the groups I've played D&D with have had at least one female in them. The most at one time was 3. =)

Factual flaws of the D&D one:

No girl has ever played D&D, let alone four at once.


Untrue.

I like how this was picked up on twice but no-one's commented on the fact that I advocated Marcie commiting suicide when her character died... :D

jack chick is hilarious. this URL is a rundown of his views on the vatican, and how the jesuits instituted every bad thing in history.

http://www.revolting.com/1.2/chick/vatican.html

it also covers such wonderful things as how the jesuits were formed at the same time as Martin Luther posted his theses, how the King James version on the Bible is the only true one (even though it's the worst corruption i've seen), and how the Freemasons, Jehova's Witnesses, and Mormons are evil jesuit plots. it's hilarious.

as for what i do to chick tracts that people give me... i read them right in front of them, and then thank them whole heartedly for showing me some of the best absurdist comedy that i have ever seen. then i rip the tract in half, laugh maniacly, and walk off. it's fun. the expressions are priceless.

one time, though, one of them followed me. he asked me if i thought jesus was funny. i said "no, he's not. he's hilarious." and continued walking. that guy followed me half way back to my apartment.... overall, a good time.

Do you think Chick has delusions of grandeur?

http://www.chick.com/tractimages635/0945/0945_07.gif
http://www.chick.com/tractimages635/0945/0945_08.gif

Factual flaws of the D&D one:

No girl has ever played D&D, let alone four at once.


Untrue.

I like how this was picked up on twice but no-one's commented on the fact that I advocated Marcie commiting suicide when her character died... :D

Oh, I just assumed you meant that Marcie should do that because she was a moron.

Factual flaws of the D&D one:

No girl has ever played D&D, let alone four at once.


Untrue.

I like how this was picked up on twice but no-one's commented on the fact that I advocated Marcie commiting suicide when her character died... :D

Oh, I just assumed you meant that Marcie should do that because she was a moron. :)

These people who take the bible word for word are quite disturbing. It was written by men, you morons !

No offense to anyone, I'm just saying the bible is fallible.Unmfortunately, you're dealing with a group of bigoted baptist... their interpretation is the only one that works, and their christ is the only one that can save you, and they knock any religions that differ.

Remind you of another religion? *coughislamcough*

That's a massive generalisation. There are several different forms of Islam which differ from each other as greatly as Roman Catholics do from protestants. Some Muslims might be bigoted and act that way, but it is very unfair to assume that they all do.

I find that generalisations can be responded to in kind...Gently nudge him in the direction that will allow him to see the error of his ways, here's an example:
"All the people in Utah are deranged polygamist pedophiles and believe in magic underwear"

Yes, that way of doing things is funnier.

Please explain the magic underwear thing to me.

Speaking of Buddhists, has anyone seen his tract "The Tycoon"? It portrays the Buddhist main character as, get this, a capitalist money grubbing millionare who wears sunglasses and is driven around in a limo.

After I saw that I realized the man must either be joking or totally insane.

Possibly both.

BTW, I am Buddhist. I had to look that one up. The man has no understanding of Buddhism. At all.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0016/0016%5F01.asp

Golden Buddha award? "Merit" for paying for temples? reincarnation as the goal? "Sin is only an obstical of ignorance"?

I hope he awakens soon.

(And, for the record, my teacher, an ordained lama in thge Tibetian traditions, regularly teaches "Western mysteries", including Sufism and "Christ Conciousness"

Wow, that was a particularly appalling one :x I can just about stomach well meaning but misguided Christians who actually tell the truth, but ones like this guy who actually make up lies about other religions... :evil:

Meh, I really should just have a laugh and forget about it.

Please explain the magic underwear thing to me.

Mormons believe that some special sacred...vestments...worn to temple are holy.

Personally, I'd never admit to having holy underwear. That'd be embarassing, and it's not as if anyone would be able to see them anyway.

Please explain the magic underwear thing to me.

Mormons believe that some special sacred...vestments...worn to temple are holy.

Personally, I'd never admit to having holy underwear. That'd be embarassing, and it's not as if anyone would be able to see them anyway.

Very much like masons and their manly magic aprons

Oh well... go to heaven for the climate, go to hell for the company!

Please explain the magic underwear thing to me.

Mormons believe that some special sacred...vestments...worn to temple are holy.

Personally, I'd never admit to having holy underwear. That'd be embarassing, and it's not as if anyone would be able to see them anyway.

Not only worn to temple: ALWAYS! You must never take it off... Newspapers in Utah frequently tell stories of how some farmer was saved by his magic underwear when he was hit by lightning...

I'm not making this stuff up...

Please explain the magic underwear thing to me.

Mormons believe that some special sacred...vestments...worn to temple are holy.

Personally, I'd never admit to having holy underwear. That'd be embarassing, and it's not as if anyone would be able to see them anyway.

Not only worn to temple: ALWAYS! You must never take it off... Newspapers in Utah frequently tell stories of how some farmer was saved by his magic underwear when he was hit by lightning...

I'm not making this stuff up...

Okaaaay. Do you have a source to prove this? I mean, I know the Mormons do some pretty weird stuff but...magic underwear? Also I'd kinda like to read an article on it, there's bound to be some funny details. :)

I blew my nose in one, in front of the people handing them out. I don't usually react this harshly to evangelists, but calling Samhain a night of human sacrefice in which ankh-wielding druids (:?) raided homes to steal victims was a step over the line.

Besides, that guy is the biggest hypocrit I've ever seen. In one of these little snotrags the jews are described as poor innocent victims of 'satan's catholic puppets', and in the next they're greedy men who refuse to accept scriptures pointing towards Jesus as the Messiah because they're afraid to get disowned. The next time somebody hands me one I'll demote it to toilet paper.

Please explain the magic underwear thing to me.

Mormons believe that some special sacred...vestments...worn to temple are holy.

Personally, I'd never admit to having holy underwear. That'd be embarassing, and it's not as if anyone would be able to see them anyway.

Not only worn to temple: ALWAYS! You must never take it off... Newspapers in Utah frequently tell stories of how some farmer was saved by his magic underwear when he was hit by lightning...

I'm not making this stuff up...

Okaaaay. Do you have a source to prove this? I mean, I know the Mormons do some pretty weird stuff but...magic underwear? Also I'd kinda like to read an article on it, there's bound to be some funny details. :)

http://nowscape.com/mormon/undrwrmo.htm
http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon013.htm
http://home.earthlink.net/~thogmi/undies/undies.html
http://www.algonet.se/~daba/lds/tgarment.htm

Cannot think... brain frozen... stupid comics... curse... curse you jack! Curse you...

Last time someone tried to hand me one of these I had alot of fun. :D

Him: Please read this and be saved.
Me: Sorry, I've given up religion for logic and reason.

Without slowing at all I glanced back at his face (priceless) and kept walking, I cracked up half a block away and couldn't stop for 3 more. :lol:

Man, why can I never have fun with random religious people? I never seem to get the Mormons (unless I ask for them, which I have) JW's or Chickites...maybe it's Canada...

I always wanted to ask Mr. Chick if he had ever read any literature about Catholic involvement in the Holocaust...besides Hitler's Pope.

perhaps we should force jack chick to listen to some of the debates on NS?

Hehe...I like TAR's idea, but we need to hook up a webcam to ol'Jack's computer, so we can watch his delusional excuse for a brain melt/implode. I was on the bus when a fundie woman who had been arguing about God with some other poor guy asked me "You believe in God, don't you?"
I responded "Nope, I stopped believing in fairy tales and invisible friends when I was nine." She was turning her head at this point, and just stopped cold. It was the funniest thing I've seen in a while. She started trying to tell me that I had never really believed anyways, and that I should try it, but I just ground her arguments into dust. It was very amusing. :lol:

Please explain the magic underwear thing to me.

Mormons believe that some special sacred...vestments...worn to temple are holy.

Personally, I'd never admit to having holy underwear. That'd be embarassing, and it's not as if anyone would be able to see them anyway.

Not only worn to temple: ALWAYS! You must never take it off... Newspapers in Utah frequently tell stories of how some farmer was saved by his magic underwear when he was hit by lightning...

I'm not making this stuff up...

Okaaaay. Do you have a source to prove this? I mean, I know the Mormons do some pretty weird stuff but...magic underwear? Also I'd kinda like to read an article on it, there's bound to be some funny details. :)

http://nowscape.com/mormon/undrwrmo.htm
http://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon013.htm
http://home.earthlink.net/~thogmi/undies/undies.html
http://www.algonet.se/~daba/lds/tgarment.htm

Thanks
The third site on that list was a nasty, biased piece of gratuitous Mormon bashing. The first two just seem to be hearsay. Only the fourth one was actually useful.

I've always thought Chick was just a little high on himself when he wrote this one...(in one of the last frames)...

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0082/0082_01.asp

:? Aiera

Untrue. Two of my girlfriends have played D&D, one has GM'd, and most of the groups I've played D&D with have had at least one female in them. The most at one time was 3. =)

And you still haven't taught her any *real* magic powers! What's wrong with you? hehe

I just love how Jack seems to believe (or imply) that all atheists or peope of a different fate do not believe in God out of some sort of desire for being mean, instead of just not believing in God.