NationStates Jolt Archive


Real men "Test"

Silly Mountain Walks
03-04-2004, 02:37
Real Man Test


This is a test for men only and all "real men" will answer "C" to all of
these questions. However, women will also benefit by reviewing them, so
that they get to understand men and thereby enrich their own lives.

1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are
the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship,
they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is
capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean
energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently, eliminating
oppression and violence all over the entire earth.
You decide to:
A. Present it to the President of the United States.
B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
C. Take it apart.

2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss
the most?
A. Innocence
B. Idealism
C. Cherry bombs.

3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for
narrow-minded social conventions.
B. When he is the Pope (but not on the lips)!
C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only
really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for business reasons, you
have to have him killed.

4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.

5 You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and
intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday
afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football
game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue
sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer
bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going She
says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you
believe that you have some kind of future together.
What do you say?
A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you
don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly
say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you
don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on third and
seventeen.

6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to
spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the
world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and
when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the
stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?

7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get
your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "We have three of them?"
Squi
03-04-2004, 05:24
Well, I have to admit that I actually did answer C. to four of the questions and couldn't pick any answer from those given for the rest of the questions. I'm still dumbfounded by the draw play on 3rd and 17, and on their own 13.
BLARGistania
03-04-2004, 05:28
:lol:

Great Humor Quality.
Cuneo Island
03-04-2004, 05:34
I answered C to all except the one about killing cats, because that is just not cool. And I didn't even answer number three.
03-04-2004, 05:48
:twisted: TAKE IT APART!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday Heights
03-04-2004, 05:52
I'm a woman, but this was really funny... :lol:

http://www.skytowerpoet.net/pics/100_15.gif

The Deadlines of Tuesday Heights (http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=skytowerpoet)
Bighairymen
03-04-2004, 06:15
hum, i actually answer most of them with A? :? :?
Catholic Europe
03-04-2004, 08:51
I answered C to most with a B as well.
BackwoodsSquatches
03-04-2004, 08:55
1. C

2. C

3. C

4 C

5. C

6.C

7. C
Xanthal
03-04-2004, 08:55
1. B
2. A
3. A
4. A
5. A
6. A
7. None of the above
03-04-2004, 09:22
Aww, gotta give credit to the guyw who wrote that, Dave Barry.

Also, it isn't a test for MEN, necessarily, but for GUYS (a slight variation of the male gender). Basically, all women would answer A, all men would answer B, and all guys would answer C. As another example, which seems to have been cut out from this reposting:

When you see a majestic river running through an untouched valley, you:
A. Admire the natural beauty of the scene
B. Build a dam in the river
C. Pee off the dam

Actually, I think that might not have been one of the test questions, but it was somewhere in that book... Anyway, you get the picture.
Collaboration
03-04-2004, 09:28
I answered C to all except the one about killing cats, because that is just not cool. And I didn't even answer number three.

Me too, I answered 4 Cs but I'm a cat guy and I'll fight anybody who says that can't be cool.
Lapse
03-04-2004, 09:33
Ima fish guy myself :D
Xanthal
03-04-2004, 09:34
Temerity: You callin' me a woman punk? Don't worry about it, the online poll told me with eighty percent certainty that I was a female too... Oh well, I may be a different kind of guy, but I'm still a guy. I checked.
Silly Mountain Walks
03-04-2004, 19:44
I answered C to all except the one about killing cats, because that is just not cool. And I didn't even answer number three.

Hey, its humor and I have cats myself :wink:
Silly Mountain Walks
03-04-2004, 19:45
Aww, gotta give credit to the guyw who wrote that, Dave Barry.

Also, it isn't a test for MEN, necessarily, but for GUYS (a slight variation of the male gender). Basically, all women would answer A, all men would answer B, and all guys would answer C. As another example, which seems to have been cut out from this reposting:

When you see a majestic river running through an untouched valley, you:
A. Admire the natural beauty of the scene
B. Build a dam in the river
C. Pee off the dam

Actually, I think that might not have been one of the test questions, but it was somewhere in that book... Anyway, you get the picture.


I C (pee) while A (admiring)
Johnistan
03-04-2004, 19:48
I'm a well rounded guy.
imported_Joe Stalin
03-04-2004, 19:52
I'm a real man and I couldny be arsed with your test. :lol:
Felis Lux
03-04-2004, 19:58
Only one C- the 'take it apart' one. Erk, does that make me a woman, or a 'perfect' man, or a liar?

The answer to that one is D: sleepy.
The-Bebop
03-04-2004, 20:28
:twisted: TAKE IT APART!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good God man, have some sense. They present you with a tech equivalent of some wonderful panacea, and you want to tear it apart? Think about it for a minute-
There might be a reverse switch!
Freedorandack
03-04-2004, 20:29
:twisted: TAKE IT APART!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good God man, have some sense. They present you with a tech equivalent of some wonderful panacea, and you want to tear it apart? Think about it for a minute-
There might be a reverse switch!

ur terrible.
YAY for u. :D
03-04-2004, 20:54
1. Not only would I take it apart, I would destroy it.
2. C
3. C
4. I prefer Werecats. They’re more vicious than werewolves, and a lot more agile.
5. I’d just say “we’ll see”
6. C
7. C
__________________________________________________
Out of all the demons in this world, none is more frightening than man
Collaboration
03-04-2004, 20:58
I love taking stuff apart.

Sometimes I can get it back together too.

Sometimes I have to deform the soft bits a little.
The Great Leveller
03-04-2004, 21:01
I love taking stuff apart.

Sometimes I can get it back together too.

Sometimes I have to deform the soft bits a little.

Are you a surgeon?
Collaboration
03-04-2004, 21:12
I love taking stuff apart.

Sometimes I can get it back together too.

Sometimes I have to deform the soft bits a little.

Are you a surgeon?

:lol:

Me and Al Yankovic.
03-04-2004, 21:15
I'm taking the engine out of my van and (I hope) putting it into my truck..
Suicidal Librarians
04-04-2004, 00:49
I'm a woman, but this was really funny... :lol:

http://www.skytowerpoet.net/pics/100_15.gif

The Deadlines of Tuesday Heights (http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=skytowerpoet)

Same here.