NationStates Jolt Archive


State of my Mentallity Address.

Akilliam
01-04-2004, 08:12
Having prided myself in my knowledge of history, music, the sciences, and politics I realize now that I have made myself a fool. We can all agree, I am sure, that wisdom is the application of knowledge. Since such is the case, I am very much a fool. The knowledge I hold can not be applied to daily experiences. Will knowing the year Byzantium fell to the Turks and the impact of that on Serfdom in Muscovy Rus have any positive impact on day to day events? I certainly think not.

So I am a fool. But fools can win the day, can they not? In my case, I would say no. Keep in mind that I am obsessed with history and music to the point of avoiding normal human interactions - that will come into play later.

In order to increase my odds of finding someone 'special', I took the extreme risk and bought 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', thinking it could help me in some way. It fit into my quest for knowledge; I desired more, so I obtained more. But this can not fall into the category of wisdom, for the knowledge in that book I can not apply to life. While it certainly is an interesting book, and will give me a plethora of knowledge [seeing as how I have no interpersonal skills whatsoever, especially pertaining to the opposite gender]. But this is where those afore mentioned problems come in.

I read through the book and I begin to cast the text aside because of the fallacies my mind generates therein. "If men were from Mars," I tell myself. "Our physiology would be different. We'd probably have larger lungs, and smaller frames.... If women were from Venus..." and so the irrational logic continues.

Then I find myself looking at interesting statements in the book, like the idea the author puts forward that men are afraid of failure. Well, then I look back through history and examine all the men I admire. Caesar's famous quote "Aelia iacta est", or "the die is cast" is another way of saying, 'Kick the tires and light the fires'. Nelson, Napoleon, these men certainly weren't afraid of failure. Their glory in victory and sorrow in defeat attest to that. So I find myself mentally contradicting the author by going against his years of education in his field with my petty amount of knowledge in history and the sciences.

And these are just a few of the problems. My logic is irrational - if I'm having a good day. As I said earlier, I picked up the book to increase my odds of finding someone special. I tell myself that, at least, but I could have merely purchased the book because I'm obsessed with books and it was cheap. I don't honestly know. But I digress. In reading, I have discovered with some finallity that I do not have the traits the females find desirable, at least according to the author. I am not attentive; not empathetic; hardly coherent enough to be supportive.

Perhaps I have other qualities that are attractive? I am a capable guitarist, I enjoy playing Paganini's Caprices. I am teaching myself the piano, and am working on Rachmaninoff's three most prominent preludes [Gminor, G# Minor, and C# Minor]. I can pick at the banjo, mandolin, I am a good bass player, I can play simple melodies on the violin, and I am confident I could play the cello.

My knowledge of history, though not spectacular, is at least above the norm for someone of my age and upbringing. I am informed on science, well read in the classics of literature. I've studied theology, taken flight lessons [and I seemed to be quite the virtuosso, though I am medically disqualified from ever obtaining a PPL], and explored various other subjects of interest. These are good, solid qualities.

They are nothing.

That is all nothing, I would surmise, if the underlying criteria for a healthy relationship is not there. So what do I really have? Brains, common sense, a zealot's quest for knowledge. Nothing.

As I mentioned, I have studied theology. If you read the Judaeo-Christian texts in depth, and begin to discern some of the more obscure verses, you begin to understand that people might have less free will than was imagined. Charles Spurgeon, a famous preacher of the 19th Century, strongly advocated that humans have little to no free will. Your choices are not your own. I will not go into details at this time as to why I have come to this conclusion as well, but if you like, you can telegram me and I will state my opinions.

I have come to accept that the solitary life is the one that was decided for me. It was not what I chose, but was chosen for me. If that is the case, I have no leg to stand on, and can certainly not object.

But it raises a good question. If have this musical ability, why then am I deprived of the ability to share it with someone dear? Why then am I deprived of the chance to serenade someone special with a soft melody? Or to explore enchanted themes? It seems like an aweful waste, but then again it is not my place to decide what is wasteful and what is not.

So ends the state of my mentallity address.
Urkaina
01-04-2004, 08:25
Yeah, you're gonna die single.
Akilliam
01-04-2004, 10:01
Ya, that is possible. But it doesn't really matter either way, now does it?
01-04-2004, 10:13
Wisdom and Intelligence are two different things.

I dont wanna be Argumentative over the net forever.
Conceptualists
01-04-2004, 10:15
Have you ever read Philip K Dick?