NationStates Jolt Archive


Texans in the afterlife

Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 06:10
recieved this as an email. pretty good.

Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. We have some Texans up here who are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing baseball caps and
cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to keep the stairway to heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing."

The Lord said, "Texans are Texans, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, call the Devil."

The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."

The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

Gabriel replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm back. Now what was the question?"

Gabriel said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said , "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now. Those damn Texans have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."
Calembel
31-03-2004, 06:12
:D
31-03-2004, 06:13
:lol: I know one of you Texans who would find that one HIGHLY amusing! :)
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 06:18
we cause a ruckus, what can i say.
and it is highly amusing
31-03-2004, 06:27
well from what I know of " yall" yall are pretty amusing
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 06:28
thank ye' kindly
*tips hat*
Colodia
31-03-2004, 06:40
They got Spaniards, Mexicans, Americans, and Confederates all in one state!
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 06:41
dont forget native americans. we have plenty of them too
31-03-2004, 06:42
Yay! for Texans! :twisted: woooooo
Kryozerkia
31-03-2004, 06:47
*giggle* that's good
Indra Prime
31-03-2004, 06:54
Thats the best damn Texan joke I've heard in a looong time. I'm Texan and proud of it! We conform to nobody! The Lone Star State IS God's Creation and He made us this way. Yeehaw!
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 06:59
yeehaw indeed. welcome my fellow texan(s)
31-03-2004, 07:28
anyone mind answering where in tx?

I'm at school in San Antonio... but raised on the shores of Galveston, Texan through and through
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 07:30
houston. kind of.
31-03-2004, 07:31
I'm going to work for the Houston stage union over the summer (hopefully)
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 07:33
cool. where's that at?
31-03-2004, 07:36
well, the union handles all the major houses in houston... tours, conventions, and concerts
Liberal Monsters
31-03-2004, 07:37
I love Houston. Good strip clubs, nice tourist sights, a couple of really good tattoo parlors. did I mention the strip clubs ?
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 07:38
ya, we try not to brag.
Kryozerkia
31-03-2004, 07:38
I love Houston. Good strip clubs, nice tourist sights, a couple of really good tattoo parlors. did I mention the strip clubs ?

:roll: no, you didn't
31-03-2004, 07:40
great strip clubs... and we should brag
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 07:40
so? :D
Liberal Monsters
31-03-2004, 07:41
I love Houston. Good strip clubs, nice tourist sights, a couple of really good tattoo parlors. did I mention the strip clubs ?

:roll: no, you didn't

Sorry then, They have great strip clubs.
Freedorandack
31-03-2004, 07:51
yes, we do. thank you for noticing
Elara
31-03-2004, 07:57
The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright Deep In The Heart Of TEXAS!

http://www.tgia.net/Texas_Flag__Animated_.gif

That was great! God bless Texas! Fellow Texan here born and raised from South East Texas not but 2 hours from Houston in Orange. But currently in DFW.
Detsl-stan
31-03-2004, 08:44
I love Houston. Good strip clubs, nice tourist sights, a couple of really good tattoo parlors. did I mention the strip clubs ?

I didn't know they allow liberals into Houston strip clubs.
Did they ask you to swear allegiance to Tom DeLay at the door? :D