NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.wapers.com/misc/dogpoker/dogpoker640.jpg

Well boys, whats are we up for today?

Black faces met the Don.

You got the goods, Dicky?

http://www.swizzle.ca/chihuahuaa.jpg

Yeh yeh! Got the goods!

So do we have everything we need?

We sure do

http://www.wfu.edu/users/funggw03/funny/dog03.jpg


Come, Gaspode!

*spreads out some plans*

hmmm. so to what, and where, first?

You see this guy?

http://www.allaboutpetswa.com/dog%20-%20reading%20book%20funny%20photo.jpg


He has a Malboro Light everyday. He'll tell you everything you need to know...

About cats? i don't think there will be any cats where we're going.

http://www.accordpublishing.com/eyenimals/cosa.gif


No sir, I don't believe there will be. Are we ready?

*Starts building spaceship

I do believe we're ready Gaspode! We'll have to be careful from here on in...

*Enters with a truck load of bacon for the trip*

I hope you have fun where you are off.

Brings a dump truck full of dog toys...

*Produces a large tin of flea powder and dog shampoo*

*Enters with a truck load of bacon for the trip*

I hope you have fun where you are off.

Join us?

*Enters with a truck load of bacon for the trip*

I hope you have fun where you are off.

Join us?

To Mars?
I'm no dog?

*Enters space ship and looks around*

*Enters with a truck load of bacon for the trip*

I hope you have fun where you are off.

Join us?

To Mars?
I'm no dog?

*Enters space ship and looks around*

Anyone can be a dog! You just have to ... try

*Enters with a truck load of bacon for the trip*

I hope you have fun where you are off.

Join us?

To Mars?
I'm no dog?

*Enters space ship and looks around*

Anyone can be a dog! You just have to ... try

*Resits urge to smell. MDs bum.*

No its not working

Oh well, I guess it just isn't your thing. It has to come from the heart.

If the bum fumes didn't get him, nothing will..

*Starts chewing random wiring of the spacecraft*

*Steps on mice*

Some of you probably already know this and have shafted friends of yours with this knoweldge much in the same way a friend of mine shackled me with this bit of stupid trivia. Because misery loves company, I'm going to share this little slice of meaningless with others who to this date have lived happy lives without knowing.

The painting of the dogs playing poker? It's not called "Dogs Playing Poker," it's called "A Friend in Need" 'cause the bulldog is helping the other dog cheat.

HAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHHAA
You learned it, you can't unlearn it!!!!! You all are now .0001% more boring at cocktail parties!!!!!!!!!

*Steps on mice*

*Calls army of deranged mice who swarm the ship and start chewing*

*fires sea eagle anti-shipping missile into ship*

*fires sea eagle anti-shipping missile into ship*

*Sees TAR*

*Calls army to halt attack and swarm TAR*

*Starts biting TAR everywhere*

*drops by to with the CA luck in its voyage*

the sea eagle is an anti shipping icbm, wouldn't know what hit you :twisted:

the sea eagle is an anti shipping icbm, wouldn't know what hit you :twisted:

Squeaks. My armys deranged. They probably didn't notice.

Calls for a hasty retreat into the corn field.

Hehe, I come to join you on your journey to Mars.

Good boy Laddie!

Have you read MP?

*sets cornfield on fire*

Hehe, I come to join you on your journey to Mars.

Good boy Laddie!

Have you read MP?

MP??
Decides a journey to Mars might be fun?

Is there room for my whole brigade?
We are small after all!

*sets cornfield on fire*

Wrong one! :D

*creates virus to kill all corn in world*

*creates virus to kill all corn in world*

*Feels sorry for the corn*

*Dives into an oak woodland*
*Yumm acorns, starts collecting for the trip*

*starts using agent orange on forests*

*creates virus to kill all corn in world*
*destroys all samples of the virus*
That's too dangerous! Besides, corn is good.

*starts using agent orange on forests*
*alerts the EPA and several groups of militant environmentalists*

*pisses on environmentalists*

*starts using agent orange on forests*
*alerts the EPA and several groups of militant environmentalists*

*Runs to the saftey of DG*
*Bites him*

*watches as environmentalists attack T.A.R. with weapons ranging from knives and clubs to high-grade explosives*
Ouch!
*glares at the mouse that bit him*

*nukes greenies* *continues using agent orange on forests*

*stares in shock as T.A.R. sets of a nuclear weapon less than a foot away from himself*

actually as you summoned the greenies i nuked you!

*watches as environmentalists attack T.A.R. with weapons ranging from knives and clubs to high-grade explosives*
Ouch!
*glares at the mouse that bit him*

* :x Glares back*
*Continues hiding*

A- I didn't summon them, I just told them what you were doing.
B- I'm right next to you...

My earlier statement still stands.

*is in a enviroment wrecking nuclear bunker*

*is in a tunnel next to the bunker* :P ( :wink: )

:roll: Right come on guys, back to business.

Exactly how far have we got with the Mars mission?

Is the spaceship ready yet?

*brings up the "Broken Arrow" to bombard the construction site*

:roll: Right come on guys, back to business.

Exactly how far have we got with the Mars mission?

Is the spaceship ready yet?

I've got my acorns ready.
Sorry I chewed a few wires before I decided to join your mission.
Sure they were not that important :wink:

:roll: Right come on guys, back to business.

Exactly how far have we got with the Mars mission?

Is the spaceship ready yet?
I think it's gotten infested with mice...
So I'm sure it's improving! :wink:

officially founds the Feline allianceMK2

:roll: Right come on guys, back to business.

Exactly how far have we got with the Mars mission?

Is the spaceship ready yet?
I think it's gotten infested with mice...
So I'm sure it's improving! :wink:

*Bites DG*

:roll: Right come on guys, back to business.

Exactly how far have we got with the Mars mission?

Is the spaceship ready yet?

I've got my acorns ready.
Sorry I chewed a few wires before I decided to join your mission.
Sure they were not that important :wink:

Ok, well why don't you go check?
is good having a mouse on board, you can get into all the little spaces we big strong dogs can't fit in.

laughs at "big strong dogs" hahahahahahahaha

:roll: Right come on guys, back to business.

Exactly how far have we got with the Mars mission?

Is the spaceship ready yet?

I've got my acorns ready.
Sorry I chewed a few wires before I decided to join your mission.
Sure they were not that important :wink:

Ok, well why don't you go check?
is good having a mouse on board, you can get into all the little spaces we big strong dogs can't fit in.

*Calls remaining army of deranged mice and sends them back into the spacecraft.*

Everything will be sorted shortly. :D

*Bites DG*

:roll: Right come on guys, back to business.

Exactly how far have we got with the Mars mission?

Is the spaceship ready yet?

I've got my acorns ready.
Sorry I chewed a few wires before I decided to join your mission.
Sure they were not that important :wink:

Ok, well why don't you go check?
is good having a mouse on board, you can get into all the little spaces we big strong dogs can't fit in.
See? I told you it was an improvement... :D

*bandages his several dozen bite wounds*

*Jumps on Gaspodes back*
*Such think and compfortable fur*

*Falls asleep*

:lol: You snuggle up there, little one.

*brings some Savlon for DG's wounds*

They look nasty!

Thanks!
*winces*
Careful, that guy's got sharp teeth...

http://www.swe.org/iac/images/rocket.jpg

And we're off!

With Gophers, Mice, Dogs and the unfriendly bulldog's trying to cheat, its sure to be a blast!

come join the Non-Human Union!

we're open to human and non-human nations alike and we could use some canine nation to mix with the feline, reptilian, bovine, human and arachnid nations that have already joined

come join the Non-Human Union!

we're open to human and non-human nations alike and we could use some canine nation to mix with the feline, reptilian, bovine, human and arachnid nations that have already joined

Join us for a meeting on Mars!

Our Kind regards to the Mutant Dogs.

Would a] transport be available to Mars? And an outlay of the event would be gratefully received. We extend the hand of solidarity and diplomacy to Mutant Dogs and the Canine Alliance to visit the Federal Republic of the Non-Human Union.

We welcome all new members to join the NHU at: http://s2.invisionfree.com/The_Non_Human_Union/index.php?act=idx

*sends message to Earth from the rocket*

Thanks to Biotopia.
Transport is available to Mars if you managed to hook to the back of that rocket on the last page.
Join us for the first Martian meeting of the Canine Alliance and we will talk further.

*Wakes in Gaspode fur*
*Decides its not a good idea to go to Mars*

*Looks out the window*

*Wakes in Gaspode fur*
*Decides its not a good idea to go to Mars*

*Looks out the window*

Sorry sweetie! it's too late!

But you'll like Mars, I promise.

Wow! Look at that scenery! I wonder if it's decent dirt for tunneling...

*Bites DG*

*Calls army of mice together and discuss taking over Mars!*

*Bites DG*

*Calls army of mice together and discuss taking over Mars!*

Now... 1) stop biting DG or i'll eat you. remember the rodent alliance.
2) you are the only mouse on board. godmoding by a mouse, honestly :roll: :wink:

*Bites DG*

*Calls army of mice together and discuss taking over Mars!*

Now... 1) stop biting DG or i'll eat you. remember the rodent alliance.
2) you are the only mouse on board. godmoding by a mouse, honestly :roll: :wink:

*Gets a deranged look in his eyes*
*Starts twitching uncontrolably*

*Must resist urge to bite Gaspode*

*Bites DG*

*Calls army of mice together and discuss taking over Mars!*
-sigh-
*bursts into flames*
http://zoo.nightstar.net/images/smiles/FIREdevil.gif

*Gets a deranged look in his eyes*
*Starts twitching uncontrolably*

*Must resist urge to bite Gaspode*

Good mouse.
Here. you can have this little wooden gopher to bite on if that will help.

*Bites DG*

*Calls army of mice together and discuss taking over Mars!*

Now... 1) stop biting DG or i'll eat you. remember the rodent alliance.
2) you are the only mouse on board. godmoding by a mouse, honestly :roll: :wink:

*Gets a deranged look in his eyes*
*Starts twitching uncontrolably*

*Must resist urge to bite Gaspode*

Try biting me. Bet you've never bitten a Mutant Dog before...

Try biting me. Bet you've never bitten a Mutant Dog before...

Now, leave him alone. he's promised to be good.

And we've only got each other at the moment on this strange planet, so it's important we all get along.

*Gets a deranged look in his eyes*
*Starts twitching uncontrolably*

*Must resist urge to bite Gaspode*

Good mouse.
Here. you can have this little wooden gopher to bite on if that will help.

*Starts biting the wooden Gopher*
*Bite*
*Bite*
*Bite*

*Gets a deranged look in his eyes*
*Starts twitching uncontrolably*

*Must resist urge to bite Gaspode*

Good mouse.
Here. you can have this little wooden gopher to bite on if that will help.
Good idea! Wish I'd thought of that a while ago...

*Starts biting the wooden Gopher*
*Bite*
*Bite*
*Bite*

:shock:

it's lucky i've got a good supply of those things!

*Starts stacking cards on table, trying to build a pyramid*

Hey, we just passed the moon!

Bow wow wow
Yippe oh
Yippie a

Atomic dawg....

*Starts stacking cards on table, trying to build a pyramid*

Hey, we just passed the moon!

Thats one big pyramid!

*Starts stacking cards on table, trying to build a pyramid*

Hey, we just passed the moon!

Thats one big pyramid!

:wink:

*Realises pyramid is the size of one of his paws*

*Starts stacking cards on table, trying to build a pyramid*

Hey, we just passed the moon!

Thats one big pyramid!

:wink:

*Realises pyramid is the size of one of his paws*
*Builds the pyramid**

Pyramid...
*resists the urge to start sacrificing people to the Mods*
Different pyramid.

I made a Website (www.freewebs.com/mutantdogs)

I made a Website (www.freewebs.com/mutantdogs)

'still under construction'? lol

How long til we reach Mars, MD?

It'll take at least all weekend by the looks of it.

*trots in* Are wolves allowed? It's just that we keep sending all our rubbish up into space and I would like to see what it all looks like out there!

Sure!
Hop on the next rocket!

*smiles*

Can humans join, too? I'm good at petting dogs and scratching behind ears, and I can also brush you guys. I heard dogs like it.

MD, it looks like we're gonna need another rocket...

*taps message on radio*
The RA will get to work immediately. You built this one, after all...

Ah. Cooperation towards a mutual goal.
On behalf of the Canine Alliance I thank you.

*Starts second rocket*

Gentleman - we have arrived on Mars. :D

http://educar.sc.usp.br/youcan/mars.gif

*looks out the view screen*
Ooooh....

oooOOOoooh! The red planet! at last!

Steps out.

"Thats one small step for me. One giant leap for Deranged Doormice...

*unpacks the passengers*

Lessee... we brought Demonic Gophers, Deranged Doormice, Mutant Dogs, me, Delphinium, Molly... did anyone else stow away?

Oh, the Brittanic States and Liberal Monsters.

*scurries out in gopher robo-spacesuit*
*starts digging an experimental tunnel*

http://www.chesapeakes.net/images/flag-dog-2.jpg

I claim this place in the name of the Canine Alliance...

*steps out from behind rock*
Nup.
*kicks flag down*

*steps out from behind rock*
Nup.
*kicks flag down*

*Eats him*

You want a hamstring, Gaspode?

You don't realise that on Mars, Hams eat Dogs.
*rights the wrongs of the past through a giant feast*

You don't realise that on Mars, Hams eat Dogs.
*rights the wrongs of the past through a giant feast*

Right... you go scout the area. Bring us back some grub.

*produces feast using ancient Martian feast producing technology*

Have a salmon puff...

*produces feast using ancient Martian feast producing technology*

Have a salmon puff...

A mutant salmon puff?

Sure, why not?
*mutates puff using equally impressive technology*

Sure, why not?
*mutates puff using equally impressive technology*

Mutant Technology?

Martian, but the Martians get on well with the Mutants here, so....

*replaces flag*

You can't just arrive on a new planet and stick a flag down before you know what's already there.
*requests peaceful removal of flag*

*replaces flag*

With what?

Well, if you're going to put it that way...
*removes flag, carefully puts it away*

Well, if you're going to put it that way...
*removes flag, carefully puts it away*

With what?

Then the Canine Alliance is welcome on Mars.
Toilets over there, *points to toilets* juke box over there, *points to jukebox* sleep over there. *points to toilets*

*Leaps off ship*

*Remembers the gravity is a lot less on Mars than Earth*

*Jumps clear over everyones head*

*Puts up a tiny flag for being the first doormouse on Mars*

Is there a witty limerick you've prepared mice?

Is there a witty limerick you've prepared mice?

There once was a mouse on Mars
Who drank in all the bars,
He jumped out the ship
And planted a stick
Da dum de dum de da.

*finishes etching limerick into time itself*
Does the Canine Alliance have enemies on its home planet?

*finishes etching limerick into time itself*
Does the Canine Alliance have enemies on its home planet?

I ran out of effort on the last line. I don't know if you can tell?

It matters not my petite friend, forever shall worlds see your laziness as brilliance.
*puts mice in top pocket*

It matters not my petite friend, forever shall worlds see your laziness as brilliance.
*puts mice in top pocket*

*Falls asleep in the comfortable pocket*
*Its been a big day*

*puts coin in jukebox, plays White Rabbit*

*listens*

*looks out over the lonely expanse of the barren red planet*

Maybe I should order some Mars Pizza?

I thought it was made clear that as guests, you may have most luxuries afforded to you free of charge.
Pizza?

*listens*

*looks out over the lonely expanse of the barren red planet*
Isn't it beautiful? Think of all the tunnels one could dig in that!

yes, it is. 8)

*presses nose to glass*

I'm going to venture out soon.

yes, it is. 8)

*presses nose to glass*

I'm going to venture out soon.

As a mutant dog my body temperature remains unaffected. You, however ...

What should I do? do i need a suit like Gophers'?

What should I do? do i need a suit like Gophers'?

No, you have to mutate yourself. Like me :lol:

:shock: how?

:shock: how?

Well ... for one thing don't be a wonder dog. I got an idea. Make a puppet called "Gaspode the Mutant Dog"!

I already have too many puppets :(

Perhaps i'll just step outside and see if something Wondrous happens?

*stretches*

Well, one thing i can say for the Mars atmosphere, it sure knocks you for six!

*gets up* I think i'm ok now...

*looks around*